#18 - April 6th, 2005

Do you know that we Turkey Vultures are members of the Catharridae Family along with California Condors which are a federally endangered species ? Well, whether you do or not surely this means that you will treat me gently when next we meet….. Whilst we are on the topic of my family and our background let me inform you that my actual scientific name is "Cathartes Aura" which is Latin for "cleansing breeze" - somewhat ironic, perhaps, to those who have spent time with me after I've had a delicious super chicken burrito from Moya's Taco stand in downtown Boonville…I couldn't possibly comment..…
Moving swiftly on…After a couple of beers at The Brewery Tasting Room in Boonville on Friday evening it was time for a change of scene so, along with a number of other Turkeys, I headed down the road to The Buckhorn Saloon. All was calm with a small crowd present but soon things got a little crazy thanks to a group of young and attractive Brightlighters from San Francisco out on the town to celebrate one of their number's 30th birthday. The group were very confident yet polite; trendy but casual in their city garb featuring the girls in their low-cut jeans with short cut t-shirts revealing a hint of bare midriff - always nice to see I must say... Excessive drinking, wacky dancing in sombreros, and plenty of other silliness made for a very lively evening indeed with just the right level of decorum maintained thanks to the presence of bartender Tom doing a very professional job whilst also allowing the fun to flow…..
The festivities were also enjoyed by a visiting dignitary, The Baron of Boldmere (England) and his delightful family, who just appeared on the scene by chance on their way to the coast. Whilst not quite at the 'party mode' level maintained by the "beautiful people from S.F.", The Baron and his wife the lovely Lady Ann-Marie, plus their coke-swilling brood of youngsters seemed to enjoy a marvelous time and had nothing but pleasantries to say about their Boonville experience. After sleeping outside the bar - in their luxurious RV I hasten to add, not on the side walk - they were last seen driving out of town on Saturday lunchtime with smiles on their faces and lots of new friends made. As The Baron commented, "Thanks for a wonderful time…what a malarkey !" (which I believe is a good thing)…..
On Thursday I flew out to the coast and inadvertently tuned into the sounds provided by KMFB / 92.7 FM as opposed to the channels I normally listen to on such trips - The Coast, KOZT / 95.3 FM. or our local public radio station, KZYX / 90.7 FM … and what an interesting mix it was. Apart from the obvious hits of the Beatles, Stones, Dylan, etc there was a great selection of 60's and 70's British "vintage rock" from the likes of The Animals, Manfred Mann, The Kinks, The Dave Clark Five, Herman's Hermits, plus a healthy number of Motown classics to round it off…and very few commercials… I highly recommend it, although I should say that I'm not sure if it's like this all the time...Anyway, if that's the kind of 'stuff' you like then happy listening to you…..
I found the following paragraph from The Onion satirical publication most illuminating.… 'AFL-CIO vice president Linda Chavez-Thompson, representing the American Federation of Interrogation Torturers, released a statement Monday deriding the CIA's "extraordinary rendition" program, under which American torturing jobs are outsourced to foreign markets. "Outsourcing the task of interrogating terror suspects to countries like Egypt, Syria, and Saudi Arabia is having a crippling effect on the Americans who make a living by stripping detainees nude, shackling them to the floor, and beating the living shit out of them," Chavez-Thompson said. "And specialists such as corrosive-material chemists, ocular surgeons, and testicular electricians are lucky to find any jobs at all. How are they supposed to feed their families?" '…Funny stuff in a serious kind of way.....
Since last week's column wherein I humbly suggested people try to work the word "mattoid" into their conversation when referring to "someone insane since birth" I have heard it used on several occasions around the Valley - a couple of times in an uncannily accurate way I must say ... very encouraging. With this in mind I believe "lycanthropist" could be the word of the week on this occasion. For those who are unaware of the meaning of the word, or who are not lycanthropists themselves, this is "an insane person who believes he or she is a wolf"…Now that you know, I'm sure you'll find it useful…..
On Sunday afternoon, as the rains continued to fall, I attended the event at The Grange to raise funds to help send home the four young men who were killed last week in the tragic auto accident in Philo. The community certainly had rallied round to provide some great Mexican food and drinks and despite the awful weather the attendance was good and hopefully the event was a financial success. All being well, this money, together with the donations already collected over the past week from the public, friends, and co-workers, will be sufficient to get them to their home state of Michoacan in Mexico.....
Also present at the event, along with a large representation from the Mexican community, were a number of local acquaintances of mine I had not seen for some time including the self-proclaimed "King of Boonville" and his lovely wife, Paige with newborn daughter Camille; our esteemed Editor and Publisher, Mr. Severn; Steve Mize the local Backhoe King and Sharon Sullivan from the Roederer Vineyards where the four guys were employed; a neighbor who resides not far from The Nest, Linda Brennan; and birthday boy and local electrician extraordinaire, Laddie "The Pole" Kalinowski accompanied by his fiancée, the lovely Bridget Sushi-Reily, and friends Anna K and Coach Schrider of A.V.H.S. Football fame… There were many others too numerous to mention but all had a similar idea on this particular afternoon - to pay their respects and to do their little bit towards seeing that the young men would be able to reach their final resting place of choice...It was a special time…..
Wine of the Week - Just has to be the Husch Cabernet Sauvignon which, when swirling around your mouth accompanied by some delicious medium-rare T-bone steak, is a wonderful thing I can assure you…..Whine of the Week - "My road is so muddy"…..
Well, as I come to the end of this week's 'effort' I have the gnawing feeling that I have not brought my 'A' game to the keyboard on this occasion. Hey, I assume this can happen - as an old scholarly friend of mine, who knew his Latin, once said, "You're entitled to an off-day, Turkey Vulture, even Homer nodded… " I think I understood. So what's done is done and all I need to add is a fond farewell to Pope John Paul II whose legacy I believe will have many positive results to offset a number of the negatives. In fact ,according to one expert in this field of my acquaintance, he's "the best Pope we've had since Gregory XV" …With that said, I bid you all a wonderful week of preying and may your God go with you... kind regards, Turkey Vulture…..
p.s. Although some may disagree, it cannot be too bad a column when the word "Latin" appears twice - hey, last week the phrase "I'd rather kiss a bear's ass" was included !…