#21 - May 18th, 2005

Well it's great to be back in The Valley after a three week break many, many miles away in the real world. Hopefully you have all been eating and drinking well, staying out of the ditches, and preying as often as possible. Having visited a number of friends and members of the Vulture family who reside in noisy, smelly, confrontational big cities and indulging, along with them, in some rather unsavory activities and very late nights, I returned exhausted and very ready to resume my relatively relaxing existence high above the Valley where I have a 'bird's eye view'….
With this aim in mind, the first morning back saw me fly up to the High Roller region of the Valley (Yorkville; Pop. 25), determined that the rain was not going to be a deterrent to a busy day of shepherding in the hills. After coming up with the always important 'game plan', the first job for The Master Shepherd and I, along with two very eager Border Collies (is there any other kind ?), was to herd the flock from the field where they were grazing into the corral and barn area. With the dogs at the top of their game this went remarkably well and we had the whole flock herded into place within an hour or so…We then attempted 'The Count'. Now counting sheep is a very difficult endeavor and after various methods have failed me over the years I now find the easiest way is to count the legs and divide by four - obviously hoping that there are no three-legged ones. We came up with a total of 43 ewes and 34 lambs - almost but not quite what was expected. Although no remains had been found, it was assumed the reason for this shortfall was that coyotes had paid a visit or two over the past few nights and enjoyed some very tasty spring lamb …Such is life, and death, in the high pastures of the Valley …..
The next task saw us separating the cute little lambs from their mothers and moving them inside the barn, taking along with us some needles and alcohol. Those amongst you with twisted minds may think this very suspicious and I have to admit that The Shepherd commented with a grin on his face, "Remember, Mr. Vulture, what happens in this barn, stays in the barn"…Naah, just kidding…We were simply planning to give the lambs their annual vaccinations to stave off various illnesses (alcohol to be used for sterilization purposes) and due to the rains it was more comfortable for both lambs and shepherds if this were done inside. Over the next hour or so, with a little help from yours truly, The experienced Shepherd performed the medical procedures without undue stress to the lambs before returning them to their concerned mothers. Our work was done and all that remained, with the help of the trusty Border Collies, was to drive the flock back to the comfort of the pastures, currently full of very lush grass and clumps of juicy clover. As for myself and The Shepherd it was time to gulp down a couple of beers - we need our medicine too, you know…It was a job well done or to use a shepherd's colloquialism after such a satisfactory performance, "well, Turkey, that was the teats"…..
Wine / Whine of the Week : I cannot help but wonder what the big deal is for those people who continue to get their underwear in a twist about genetically modified crops. This seems to be increasingly more in the news of late but just last week Ms. Hummingbird and I enjoyed a very tasty leg of salmon with a splendid bottle of Anderson Valley's Esterlina Vineyards' 2003 Syrah and I fail to see what all the fuss is about - it was simply delicious…..
Now you've got me started on my own 'mother of all topics' so without further ado let's get to some vital information about "eating out in the Valley" which is not only one of my favorite things to do but also, I believe, many of you may benefit from knowing the following 'vital statistics' …Pens and paper at the ready, please….…..The lovely Alicia at the Floodgate Store (at the 15 mile marker south of Navarro), who always greets you with a great smile and maybe a wisecrack or two, informs me that she is now open from 7am to 6pm every weekday except Tuesday when she closes at 3pm; at weekends it's 8am to 5pm and don't forget to try the excellent heuvos rancheros or the breakfast burrito…..Erica at Lemon's Market in Philo says they are now open until 8pm every evening. Say "hi from Turkey Vulture" to Lucy and Dawn when you're there - you may get a discount…or be asked to leave !
As we approach the summer I thought you might like to know some of your restaurant/bar options so here we go… In Philo, Libby's Mexican Restaurant will be open for lunch from 11.30am to 2.30pm and for dinner from 5pm to 8.30pm every day, apart from Monday when they are closed…..Meanwhile in the metropolis we call Boonville there are a number of possibilities…The Redwood Drive-In begins new hours on May 19th and these will be from 6am until 7pm Thursday to Sunday and 6am until 3pm, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday…The Boonville Hotel serves dinner from 6.15 pm to 9pm, Thursday to Monday; they are closed on Tuesday and Wednesday… Lauren's will be serving dinner from 5pm until 9pm, closing on Sunday and Monday…The newly opened Lola's Mexican Restaurant is open everyday from 11am until 9pm and may soon be doing breakfasts which will hopefully fill the void resulting from The Buckhorn Saloon's decision to cease their breakfast operation. This was made for a number of reasons but mostly simply because it was not making any money - come on you early birds, let's support the breakfast scene a little better this next time !!…The Buckhorn meanwhile continues to serve dinners, including an excellent burger, until 9pm and they are open everyday except Tuesday and Wednesday…The Anderson Valley Brewery has a tasting room which on Friday nights becomes something of a bar scene. Apart from the wonderful ales, they have bar snacks including a very tasty cheese and sausage plate but no hot food at this time. They may well stay open until after 9pm if the beers are flowing well…The guys at Lumber Jack pizza have wisely altered their hours slightly and now serve from 5pm to 9pm Thursday thru' Saturday and 3pm to 8pm on Sunday. They remain closed on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday which unfortunately always seem to be the days when I crave one of their excellent cheesesteaks… Finally, and the most consumer friendly of all, we have Moya's Taco stand, featuring all the classics including a substantial "small" burrito for $4 as well as the superb regular burritos etc - these guys will still be out there after 10pm on many nights - now ya gotta like that !
O.K…Got it all ? Good 'cos there will be a test next week….. I know I've missed a few choices but may be this list will be of some use and when you do feel like "eating out" you'll hopefully enjoy some fine food, wines, and beers, and at the same time you'll be supporting the Valley…Oh, and I almost forgot, the Anderson Valley Farmer's Market started up for the summer this past weekend and you can check it out each Saturday morning in the parking lot next to The Boonville Hotel from 9.45 am until noon - personally I can't wait for Tom Smith's strawberries but there is so much, much more and all of it at great prices…..
Let's move on to what is, in my humble opinion, another interesting topic - yes, it's Jive Turkey Time…I'm sure most of you are keen to know that we Turkey Vultures have an extraordinary sense of smell - hence The County Dump on a hot summer's day being one of my favorite hangouts. In fact we can smell carrion from over a mile away which is very unique in the bird world. However we can smell carrion only 12 to 24 hours old and thus prefer fresh meat. Those extremely rotted carcasses are not for the likes of us - what do you take us for ??
Word of the Week : As I mentioned earlier I have recently visited a number of large cities and obviously found myself frequently amongst teeming crowds of people thrust tightly together in confined areas . How appropriate therefore that this week's word should be 'frotteur' - 'a person who likes to rub up against people in a crowd'…As in, "Just because I am a frotteur does not mean that I am a bad person"… or perhaps, "Despite my many subtle attempts, it's very difficult being a frotteur in the Philo Post Office"….Yes, I am aware it's a tough word to apply for those of us living in spacious Anderson Valley but I know one or two of you will find a way…..
Well that's all for now, folks. It's time for me to head out to some of my favorite Valley haunts and get back into the swing of things. Meanwhile, I'll leave you with what may be one of life's universal truths which, not for the first time, I unfortunately experienced a few days ago - " There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something" - don't ask, I couldn't possibly comment….
Let us prey, regards, Turkey Vulture…(turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net)…..