#31 - August 3rd, 2005

I know that many of you are convinced that I fly around this Valley with some very dubious characters at my side but I can assure you that the following request in the local Personals Page was not submitted by anyone of my acquaintance - "Yorkville man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of July 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM."…Well nobody can say that they saw him in the recently closed Buckhorn Saloon, can they ?…..
At that time of the day I personally was performing my evening "Swoop Thru' the Valley". Most of you have no doubt spotted me on many occasions and I'd like to take this moment to pass on my gratitude for all the friendly waves I have received... Well, on one of these excursions last week I couldn't help but notice the relatively new sign outside one of the recently opened tasting rooms on Highway 128, along the Anderson Valley Way section between Philo and Boonville. It stood out like a very sore thumb. Whilst from a marketing standpoint this will no doubt have the desired affect of informing people where the wines of 'Fife' winery can be tasted, as a part of the scenic tapestry of our beautiful Valley it is more of an unavoidable red blot on the landscape and that's a shame…Signs of perhaps more benefit to local folks are the new banners in English and Spanish currently draped above and across the Highway in downtown Boonville. Each of them decries the use of methamphetamines, which is a continuing problem in the Valley amongst adults and youngsters alike, and hopefully the banners will be noticed, thought about, and some positive results will ensue from their presence…..
Moving on…A satirical item spotted on the news' wires by one of my intrepid assistants - 'President Bush officially responded to the latest round of London transit bombings Monday, challenging terrorists to "do their worst." Said Bush, in a televised statement from the Oval Office: "The proud and resilient people of London can take anything the forces of evil and cowardice can throw at them. They will never live in fear of you. Bring it on." Prime Minister Tony Blair thanked Bush for his comments, inviting him to visit London and ride the Underground in a show of solidarity'…..
Talking of modes of transport and the difficulties of travel in the modern world, I feel the need to comment on the driving conditions along Highway 128 between the Coast and Anderson Valley last Thursday afternoon. Not wishing to wake that slumbering giant of verbosity, Jay "I don't pull over" Williamson of Santa Rosa, but I can only assume that a few of his 'disciples' were driving in an easterly direction as I drove the opposite way. There must have been four or five "gaggles" of vehicles, perhaps a dozen cars in each, with the lead vehicles ignoring the many turnouts and refusing to pull over to let others pass despite driving at less than 40 mph. Numerous cars in the backlog were flashing their lights and clearly the patience of many was being tested by these self-righteous jerks. Along the stretch from the ocean to the end of the redwood forest at Flynn Creek Road, in terms of delays (non-Caltran) and poor (not to mention illegal) driving, it was the worst weekday of the summer. For those with jobs to get to it was certainly the most frustrating, I'm sure. It's been said here before but perhaps it's time to reiterate my feelings, and those of many others who live and work in this Valley, towards these "Hardheads of the Highways" who, despite insisting on driving at less than 40 mph and crawling past numerous turnouts, still refuse to pull over to let others pass - you are either senile, quite stupid, pig-ignorant, or very selfish bastards…I suspect the latter in most cases…..
People to whom the word "selfish" could certainly not be applied are the wonderful vets and their assistants at the Mendocino Animal Hospital in Ukiah who visit our fair Valley to offer care and advice to local pet owners. This has been going on for years and, thanks to the hospitality of Dave and Nancy Gowan at The A.V. Farm Supply who provide the venue, the visits are extremely valuable to many Valley dweller and his or her pets. The vets visit twice a month on Thursdays from 1pm to approximately 4pm but be forewarned - they do not necessarily visit every other week so to make sure they are going to be in town call the hospital at 707-462-8833… Meanwhile many thanks to Dr. Katy Summers and all her crew for their wide veterinary knowledge and high level of care and attention they provide for our 'best friends'…..
On a related topic I should like to mention once again all the wonderful work Cheryl and her Gang perform at the Animal Rescue in Boonville. Last Friday evening I enjoyed a brief conversation with one of this group, Bridget "Working Girl" Reilly. She had finished her 'proper' job for the day and was on her way to give time to the 'cause' by walking and exercising the dogs. As the dogs played, sniffed, and generally seemed to be in 'dog heaven' for a brief time, she commented that it was simply a matter of "taking care of the dogs that God forgot". Her words hit me as most poignant and I sincerely hope that 'God' will remember them in the not too distant future, after all what is 'god' spelt backwards ? In the meantime it's comforting to know that "man's best friend" couldn't be in better hands…..
This, that, and the other - # 12 : Facts about the American Male (from a Bird's Eye View, of course)…..…Having spent much time over the years travelling in Europe, Central America and the U.S. of A. , I can confidently announce that, amongst the people I have met in those parts of the world, when it comes to the topic of the automobile no group has more knowledge, nor talks more about it, nor assumes more often that others are equally well-informed on the topic, than The American male …And another thing you may be inquisitive about is the increasing number of times in recent years you have seen men hugging men, either when they greet each other or to bid farewell…In my humble opinion these are not as a result of the male of the species getting in touch with his 'feminine' or 'more sensitive' side but rather the influence of television on society. I personally like the hugging thing with my fellow males and believe it's frequent sightings in the excellent and hugely successful television show, H.B.O.'s "The Sopranos, are the reason for "the manly hug ' becoming so much more prevalent. For those unaware, the show is not about the everyday adventures of your neighborly 'sensitive guy', it's actually rather more about modern day organized crime in New Jersey, featuring burly Mafioso-types constantly hugging each other and thereby sanctioning the "manly hug" as socially acceptable…Hopefully the program won't also lead to more young men hanging around strip clubs planning who they can "wack" next…..
The Rumor Mill…A large bird has informed me that in the near future the Anderson Valley Brewery Tasting Room (The T.R.) will be providing food of some sort. If it's hot food the license required will also allow wine to be served. Not that I can possibly comment of course but, apart from actually believing this when I see and taste it, all that remains for the "powers that be" at the Brewery to do is offer these 'goodies' at fair and reasonable prices. If this all comes together, I'm sure that in less time than it will take you to say, "I've got to stop eating these peanuts", the vultures will have circled and swooped on down to the T.R. to eat, drink, and be merry…..
Over the past week or so I have heard from a number of people concerned about the mysterious late night to early morning sounds emanating from the low hills on the east side of Highway 128 just south of Navarro. Not too unusual you may think; perhaps it's just some of the Valley's DeepEnders enjoying a late night ritual of some sort. However, the noises in the middle of the night apparently sound like heavy, earth-moving equipment churning away. What can that be ? Surely one of the wineries wouldn't be so full of their own self-importance as to disturb the sleep and disregard the feelings of local residents at such an unreasonable hour, would they ? I think we should be told…..
I apologize for the lack of a "Wine" or "Whine of the Week" and I have also come up empty in the search for a "Useful Word" - sad but true …Nevertheless, I would like to suggest an activity which I think you'll find rewarding…that's right - "Let us prey"…..
Kind regards, Turkey Vulture…..