#32 - August 10th, 2005

I normally leave the political commentaries to those who might be more well-informed but this incident has been on my mind for a few days so I'll pass it on to you. Besides, I'd say it comes under 'human interest' rather than politics…Anyway, Hoss is a friend of mine from Texas where he still lives. We don't see much of each other but once in a while we'll talk on the phone. He called the other day and after we had caught up with all the family news etc, the topic of the war in Iraq came up. He has some strong views about this, and enjoys expressing them, and soon we were discussing the American death toll passing 1800, not to mention the many thousands of Iraqi dead. With the situation over there seeming to get worse by the week he asked me a rhetorical question, "Why are we being told or shown virtually nothing of the traumatic effects the deaths of American soldiers are having on their families and loved ones ? Sure, the news programs report the deaths of soldiers but in an almost detached, matter-of-fact way …No views of coffins returning to the communities of the dead soldiers; no interviews with devastated parents whose lives are shattered. We are shown nothing which might shock the country out of its dull stupor into major protests about this controversial war". He was getting very emotional and his voice was trembling as he continued, " It really pisses me off. We have learnt nothing from previous mistakes and it's a f***in' tragedy "…I could tell he was softly weeping…..
Hoss is six feet four inches tall and weighs about two hundred and fifty pounds. He is one of those 'larger-than-life' characters who has a 'huge' laugh, loves his beer and bbq, and tells a captivating tale …But his tale is often terribly sad. He is a Vietnam Veteran who went through four tours of duty in Southeast Asia. Last time I saw him, we were sitting and talking over a few beers when the post-traumatic stress disorder (P.T.S.D.) from which he suffers overcame him and he began to 'hear' the incoming shells and the screams of his friends dying. It is shocking to observe this giant of a man turn into a sobbing, quivering wreck. His wonderful wife, and former nurse at the Veterans' Hospital where they met, had a tough time calming him down that day. She told me he regularly breaks into tears at the thought of both what he saw and did…..
On his better days, like last Friday when he phoned, the effects of his experiences over there are not too bad and he might call me and talk about 'his' war in Vietnam and the futility of war in general….His opinions and experiences are surely worth hearing but those in power, making the decisions about the lives of others, don't seem to be listening to the likes of Hoss…..
Moving on…Helpful Hints # 33 : Beware of people in the Valley who announce, "I've got something for you in the trunk of my car"…Having enticed you to their vehicle they will then reveal what these seductive words actually mean. On opening the trunk you will be confronted by a huge stash of zucchini squash. They will offer you a bag and then you will hear the words, "Help yourself" accompanied by a beaming smile… It will be very hard to say "no" for fear of deflating their boundless joy at being able to make this generous gesture and so, like many others, you will soon end up with your own stash in your own trunk. I have heard horror stories of the same zucchinis actually ending up in several different trunks over a summer - I just thought you should know…..
Talking of 'Helpful Hints', I believe I have mentioned here before, when offering advice about hangover cures, the wonderful revitalizing powers of the cheese and cucumber sandwich. Well, not only are they one of the better remedies for the uncomfortable after effects of a wild night in Boonville but on these hot summer days, when served with lemonade, or better still, ice cold milk, they are the perfect snack providing both sustenance and a little refreshment to get you through to dinner time when the fresh carrion arrives… and ya gotta like that…..
'Whine of the Week' : "Why do Caltran choose the busiest time of the tourist season to schedule so much of the maintenance on our roads and highways ?" - a question many people are asking, I must add. Driving is not a very pleasant experience for those of us just trying to get to and from work around the County these days. Surely there must be a logical answer - I think we should be told what it is…..
As I began to devour a delicious smoked ham and freshly-made potato salad last Sunday, I hoped that the wine I had chosen from the bounteous wine cellar up here at The Nest, a Syrah from Yorkville's Meyer Family Cellars, would match up well - Bingo !… I'm sure the wine would also pair particularly well with any form of pork or lamb and have no hesitation in announcing this as my 'Wine of the Week'…
News Flash - As rumors continued to swirl alluding to the fact that The Buckhorn Saloon may not be closed for too long, I swooped down into Boonville and sure enough the outside of the bar is being freshened up, the shrubs etc around the front and entrance have been pruned back or cleared away, and the old sign has been removed. At least a month ago my sources had told me who the new owners were to be but until I get the go-ahead from either them, or property owner, Ken Allen, then I am not able to divulge this information. I cannot break the trust of friends, and besides what do you expect ? I'm not a 'proper' journalist and until it is officially announced I'll leave it to other people here at the A.V.A. to pontificate on this topic. However, as for the actual re-opening date, this is important and I needed to know. I had no alternative other than to turn to my 'top secret' source and subsequently met with "Deep Gullet" in the parking lot at the High School at 2am last Thursday night…Even he had nothing but further speculation. Will I be sipping a pint in Boonville's new bar at the time of The County Fair in mid-September ?…I couldn't possibly comment…..
In the meantime, one option for a quick hot snack and a beer in the evening would be to hit the center of town and visit The Boonville Lodge and, right next door, Lumberjack Pizza. The bar is open from 2pm - 2am on Friday and Saturday; 4pm to midnight every other day whilst Lumberjack opens from 5pm to 9pm Thursday to Saturday and 3pm to 7pm on Sunday (not a lot but beggars can't be choosers).…As for dessert you'd have to go to Lauren's Restaurant down the street (Tuesday - Saturday, 5pm - 9pm) where the Strawberry Shortcake with whipped cream contains Tom Smith's 'famous' locally grown strawberries - "Best in the County" (Turkey Vulture, July, '05)…..
Apology # 106 : It may be too late but before anyone decides to deride me for my comments last week about the '"large red sign" at Fife Winery's new tasting room on Highway 128, I should like to apologize for my outburst…somewhat. Perhaps the curmudgeonly comments were as a result of being kept awake on several occasions by the strange and loud noises made by machinery at another winery in the middle of the night. It would make sense to me - I am a particularly miserable bastard when deprived of sleep. However, I have since flew up and down the Valley many times and the 'Fife' sign is not really the "blot on the landscape" I had stated…but I do have to say that it is still the most visible and 'red' of all the tasting room signs. This should please the marketing strategists at Fife - "which is nice", some might say…..
Finally, after much in-depth research by my team of ace wordsmiths, here is this week's 'Useful Word', which I believe you will find many uses for as you go about your business in the Valley…The word is - "clamjamfry" (klam-jam-free) and it means "a noisy and unruly gathering"… For example : "Last Saturday I enjoyed a wonderfully civilized evening featuring excellent food, fine wine, stimulating company, and high quality live music when people assembled at the Toll House on Highway 253 outside Boonville to celebrate the 60th Birthday of local raconteur and stuntman, David Beglinger. Many local 'dignitaries' were present including the A.V.A.'s 's own Bigwig, David Seven.…However, apparently by midnight, after much excess, the host and his remaining friends resembled nothing more than a clamjamfry…Thankfully, I had left at 11.59pm and was not associated with such behavior"…..
…Let us prey…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture (turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net)