#34 - August 24th, 2005

Greetings one and all…Now I'm sure that some amongst you believe that I occasionally hang out with a number of disreputable characters. I take it as a compliment and far be it from me to deny such goings-on. However, as I've said many times before, "it's not all glamour" and I have to admit that I also actually spend quite a bit of time with a number of fine, upstanding citizens as I fly in and around the Valley. Nobel prize-winners, Labyrinth and Maze experts, world class Brewers, connoisseur Wine-makers, specialist Farmers, master Shepherds, virtuoso Chefs - the list goes on and on. Just this past week I spent a pleasant afternoon sipping fine wines with none other than the 1994-95 football and basketball mascot of the Wildcats of Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois ! Impressive, eh ? She is a most delightful, not to mention very attractive, young Wildcat. Her companion happened to be a Wolverine from Michigan who complained about the difficulty he was having in walking because of sharp pains in his lower back. During our conversation the pretty and voluptuous Wildcat saucily implied on more than one occasion that the Wolverine's problem was as a result of their "activities" together. I couldn't possibly comment on her remarks in a respectable publication such as this, but I'd have to believe that if these "activities" were the cause of his difficulties then the Wolverine should just grin and bare it…..
I was in the 'crowd' on Saturday night as the school soccer season opened with a fund-raising exhibition game featuring the 2005 High School team playing against a very strong team of recently departed students - The Alumni Team. In front of a disappointingly small crowd it was an exciting encounter with goals galore. The Alumni team took a 2-0 lead with two hotly disputed goals (both clearly offside from my viewpoint) but the determined youngsters came storming back with two of their own to equalize after thirty minutes. Then just before the break the Alumni scored again to take a 3-2 lead. The High School clearly listened to their coaches' advice at half-time as they came out and scored twice in the first fifteen minutes of the second half giving them a 4-3 lead and it looked like they might achieve a famous victory. However, two key players went off injured and their lack of experience began to let them down as they went for more goals instead of concentrating on sound defense to protect their lead. The more disciplined Alumni players slowly took control and had numerous chances before scoring two late goals to secure a deserved 5-4 victory. Despite the result, it was a very creditable performance by the High School and the upcoming season should see them challenge for the division title and maybe make a good run in the play-offs. The first game of the regular season is tomorrow, Thursday, Aug 25th in Middletown, with the team's first home game coming up on the first day of school - next Monday, August 29th against Upper Lake, kick-off at 4.30pm at the High School. Come on down and watch our boys kick some Lakeside-Dwelling ass !…..
Moving on…For myself, and many of my ilk, a feeling of great anticipation accompanied last week's news that The County Dump on Mountain View Road just west of Boonville will be extending its opening hours. From September 1st it will now be open from 9am to 4pm, four days a week - Tuesday, Wednesday, and at weekends. Dump Guy Ron will no doubt have his work cut out but hopefully he will be well rewarded by his County employers…or may be not. This might explain his rather serious demeanor last week although perhaps his mood was more likely the result of having to deal with a dead animal being dumped. He didn't say, but he should know by now that if this occurs he can always ask me for any assistance in dealing with such an exciting situation…..
Talking of dead animals, which I do, in last week's letters' page a certain Stewart Bowen wrote about a 'buzzard' being killed in Suisun Valley when it flew into power lines. Although he 'kindly' suggested that the editor should forewarn me that perhaps I should not read the letter, this message was not relayed to me and my loved ones…Thus I was not only shocked to read such a sad and tragic story but also disturbed that the author of this tale found it amusing and necessary to comment that the body of the 'buzzard' was placed on a burn-pile and hence the bird was "twice-fried". Firstly I am disappointed that Mr. Bowen referred to the bird as a 'buzzard' - it was not I can assure you. It was most certainly a turkey vulture. More seriously, I'm saddened that somebody was entertained at the demise of my favorite cousin, Bert, because up here at The Nest we have been grieving the loss of this most noble of preying birds and one of the finest carrion-munchers in northern California…and he was always good to his Mum too…Bless him…..
"Thank you, Vulture…That's a case of beer I owe ya !". These were the first words I heard when picking up the phone yesterday morning. It was my friend, Hoss, calling from his home in Texas. Some of you may remember reading about him a couple of weeks ago in this column. He is the Vietnam Veteran I mentioned who was outraged at the lack of media coverage on the terrible effects the war in Iraq is having over here on the loved ones of those soldiers who have been killed… On this occasion Hoss insisted on assuring me that just days after my column appeared in the A.V.A. the national press were suddenly all over the protest, in the vicinity of G. Dubya's ranch in good old Crawford, Texas, led by Cindy Sheehan, who has lost her son in the war. Hoss was very encouraged by this and like many others believes it will hopefully lead to more protests nationwide and a massive damnation of the continuance of this war. Hoss was joking, sort of, about the effect my few words had had but all the same he was in a wonderfully positive mood about the turn of events. When a friend suffers from the kind of problems he has, as a result of his experiences of war, it was joyful to hear his booming, rebellious voice and its positive tone once again…Perhaps the 'powers that be' will finally begin to pay attention to the Hoss's and Cindy Sheehan's of the world. These 'little' people have the support of many, many Americans and those in the Bush administration need to have this fact shoved both in front of their smug faces and up their deceitful asses…..
People I'd Prey With : The delightful Ducklips, who you may have seen working at The Redwood Drive-In…She's always a pleasure to talk to and often has a story to tell about the old Valley days; she's self-effacing and smart and has a refreshingly true sense of herself, and "yer gotta like that !"…Plus, she always seems pleased to see me, which will always get you some extra votes in this category !…And what about Donna Gallo ? - our very own hair stylist who owns and runs The Hair Station in downtown Boonville. Donna, originally from Texas but for many years a resident of San Francisco, caters to all ages and does a fine job, which includes clipping my own feathers once a month - not an easy task I must say. Appointments can be made at 895-2414 and you won't be disappointed…Why go to someone in Ft Bragg or Ukiah if you can see someone here for the same price who's just as good, if not better ? Plus, as I've said many times before, "it feels good to support a local business !"
With that said, it would be topical for me to add another of my favorite sayings, "Eating out is fun !" - so please support your local restaurant…Meanwhile, I believe it's that time again…Let us prey…..Kind regards, Turkey Vulture…..
p.s. The word "ass" has been mentioned twice in this column. I would normally apologize for such behavior but on reflection, in each case, it was the only word that really worked…..
p.p.s. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but in case you haven't noticed there's a Hummingbird who flies around this Valley who has a great ass…oops, strike three !…..