#40 - October 5th, 2005

Obviously it's not in the realm of suffering which those on the receiving end of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita have endured and it seems trivial to even mention it but… the Mendocino Coast dwellers have been shrouded in fog for most of the summer. According to the lovely Margaret at Stevenswood Lodge and Restaurant in Little River there have only been eight sunny days in the last two months. I know in the past these Fog Heads have been quite smug, even taunting, when informing us about their coastal "natural air-conditioning" as we Valley Folk head their way to avoid our few insufferably hot days but this year they have hardly seen the sun at all and they've had enough. So, as we enjoy some truly beautiful early fall weather and they continue to wallow in the thick mists I would like to think that nobody would write about this in a local newspaper as if to get some warped, infantile 'revenge' for their earlier taunts. Meanwhile at Rick's at the Hill House in the town of Mendocino, popular venue for many weddings all summer long, LaDonna McDonald says it's been the worst summer weather she can remember and it has been "driving our brides crazy" - not a pretty sight, I would imagine…..
Despite our many sunny days at the moment the 'words on the street' in The Valley are, "the rain will be here soon" Depending on your 'perspective' Valley folk are either excited or worried at the prospect. This past weekend also saw a further difference of opinion - that in the forecasts of the local weather gurus and The Weather Channel's radar. I chose to follow the latter and last Sunday I stripped and re-finished the deck up here at The Nest. It came out looking great. At 11pm that night I went outside to admire my handiwork once again and was horrified to see gentle but significant rainfall coming down. This was causing the deck to slowly turn bluey-green as the raindrops sunk into the still damp protective finish . Aarrgghh! - it looks like I'll be doing it again…But first may I suggest that The Weather Channel shove their radar systems where the sun doesn't shine and meanwhile I will be consulting the local weather experts exclusively from now on. I suggest you do the same…..
Now I'm angry.. who's next ?… Oh, yes, I witnessed this myself…Our President, not known for his speaking skills or for thinking on his feet, was addressing a group of New Orleans citizens about plans to rebuild their city. Now I know he is guilty of far more grievous crimes than using bad grammar but it somehow summed up his level of competence and effectiveness when, with that insincere look on his smug face, he spluttered, " We want to hear about your visions so that we can err... err…we can more better do our job "…In each and every way, including a little faux pas such as this, is he the worst president ever or what ?…..
Overheard in The Valley # 17….This time I was waiting in line at the Anderson Valley Market in Boonville when I couldn't help but overhear a balding forty plus man, from out of town, trying hard to impress an attractive, twenty-something woman, also obviously not from around here. The conversation stalled as the woman was clearly not interested and her one word replies should have been a sign for the guy to shut up. He persevered and commented on the fact that the items in her basket were all very healthy. She replied, "Yes, it's all part of my high-fiber diet"…Without hesitation he bulldozed in with, "You won't be getting bowl cancer then"…The look she gave him was priceless and their conversation ceased immediately…..
It had been a long week and I had only one plan of attack by 4pm on Friday - a few 'Earlies' in The T.R at The A.V. Brewery and a return to The Nest before dark…On entering, the always friendly Diane behind the bar kindly presented me with a cold Poleeko Gold Pale Ale and as I gulped the first few beak-fulls down I noticed brewery owner Ken Allen was 'in the house'. He was moving around quite well considering his recent serious car accident. For those who are unaware, late at night a couple of weeks ago, he was returning to The Valley from S.F. Airport after a long international flight when he briefly lost control of his vehicle before running off the road on Highway 101 near Santa Rosa. Numerous injuries meant he was wearing a medical 'corset' to stabilize his rib cage and back. As a result of the copious amount of medications he was on, he could only have the one beer without feeling "very strange". Nevertheless he was determined to do a little socializing with the usual suspects and it was good to see him out and about again… Keep smiling, Ken, we hope to see you back to top form sometime soon…..
Seizing my second and final beer I ventured out to the beer garden and joined friends who had ordered a take-out meal from Lauren's restaurant. I couldn't possibly refuse their offer to "help yourself, Vulture" and dove into some excellent nachos, a bite from a delicious veggie sandwich (yes, I did say "a delicious veggie sandwich"), and quite possibly the finest French fries I'd had all summer- certainly well worthy of their third place finish in this past year's Turkey Vulture Best Fries Awards. (Narrowly behind those from The Hamburger and Pasta Ranch in Cloverdale and, in first place, the fries at Mendo Burgers in the town of Mendocino)…..
After the alcohol legal limit had been consumed I said my 'good-byes' and headed home, leaving my friends to make their way to The Grange and an evening of entertainment by a didgereedoo player. Personally, I have to say I use the word "entertainment' somewhat loosely in this case. They asked me to join them but it was a 'no-brainer' on my part to excuse myself and leave. For all I know the act may have been an excellent example of didgereedoo-playing but I just don't like the droning sound which emanates from this native instrument of Australia and an evening of listening to it just doesn't appeal to me at all. In fact in terms of 'annoying entertainment' I put it alongside the interminable prancing dragons at a Chinese New Year celebration or a mime…None of which are nearly as bad as the ultimate instrument for bleeding ears, that Scottish noise machine - the bagpipes…..
I think I've said enough…I love the Aussies, Chinese, and Scots…In fact I now invite them (but not the mimes), to join me…"Let us prey"….
Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…..