#43 - November 2nd, 2005

A number of local readers have commented since the last issue, either in person or by e-mail, expressing their disappointment on what they feel was a significant omission from my closing comments last week. The editor of this esteemed organ makes decisions on what must be excluded from the final edition but it does seem to be strange that a critical part of the weekly rapport with readers should have been deleted. I know "The Powers That Be" at the A.V.A. work very hard for little reward but to leave out my "Let us prey" request is a regrettable omissionŠIn the past they also have been known to disregard my farewell salutation, "Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture"ŠI think both of these comments are 'important' and always include them in the article I send into the A.V.A. headquarters each week - after all I believe it's rude not to. Why does this happen ? Do "The Powers That Be" wish to discourage my humbleness and are they concerned that their readership are out there preying ?
Meanwhile, last Saturday proved to be one of those days when no matter how hard I tried to get stuff done I felt like I was walking knee deep in mud and nothing would go right. Basically I was up against a series of plumbing problems which had arisen at The Nest. You know the ones - those that if they'd been addressed at an earlier time would have taken a few minutes but which, by hoping they would go away, were now substantial. I was in a hole and the deeper I delved the more problems I exposed. My difficulties were greatly alleviated, however, thanks to the gang at Jack's Valley Store just outside Philo. This hardware store has everything you can ask for and Master of Many Trades, Kevin, is worth his weight in gold to an 'amateur' plumber like myself. His attitude and knowledge were much appreciated whilst at the cashier's desk there was the upbeat, chatty, and very efficient, Julia. Thanks to these two my plumbing experience was not all that bad (it only took me six hours to solve) and the frustration of feeling like a hamster on the wheel was more than offset by these helpful folksŠ Š..
Talking of hamsters on wheels, as anyone who has ever owned a hamster will know, this particular animal spends an inordinate amount of time sleeping. I have owned two, both named Hamish for reasons too banal to explain, and after an exhausting night on the wheel they would sleep for most of the day, understandably so, you may think. After my 'Pets Corner' paragraph last week on the comparison between the relative 'smarts' of cats and spiders, I thought a couple of you may be interested to know that much research is being done into the sleeping habits of these creatures in order to more fully understand the mysteries of human sleep.
Dreams simulate reality in several intriguing ways. For example, you could see yourself being eaten by a snake in an exact replica of your bathroom - i.e., an incredible act being performed in a real, spatially coherent environment. Furthermore it is entirely possible for you to experience the sensation of being swallowed while maintaining a steady stream of perception throughout the whole dream. This is hard for science to understandŠMeanwhile, what is the hamster dreaming during all those hours it spends asleep ? Inquiring minds would like to knowŠ..
But I digressŠ.By late Saturday afternoon I had completed the work and began to make plans for The Boo-Bash Halloween Party at The AV. Brewery Tasting Room. Flying into Boonville I suggested to my companions that this event might have anything from twenty to eighty in attendance and so I was very pleasantly surprised that it was very close to the higher figure by 10 pm. From the room decorations and DJ and karaoke machine to the splendid buffet and many excellent costumes it was obvious that many people had made a big effort to ensure the night was a success.
Best costume award went to Henry Hill for his Devil Man outfit and superb make-up job. Anthony and Cleopatra, whom I did not know, came in second - "nice costume, Cleo !". In third was a Viking warrior and his 'Warriorette' ("very nice costume, Hannah !"), whilst special mention went to a number of Brewery employees who were deemed ineligible for prizes - cruel but fair. These included The Grim Reaper and his bludgeoned cheerleader companion (Head Brewer Dave Gatlin and better half, Erica), Old Granny and Blue Collar Guy (Rod De Witt and companion Julie respectively !), and Peter Suddeth as a British rocker - clearly a look he has been looking forward to portraying for some time and one which he may stay with !Š
My own personal 'special mentions' go out to Jack and Peggy Ridley as 'simple farm folk' - "a little too convincing, Jack"; Clay from Navarro's Horse Haven Ranch asŠerŠwell, as a bloated, cigar-chewing, beer-swilling, lecherous, far from handsome old geezer (extra points to Clay for choosing a mask through which he could still drink !); and Patty Liddy's sleazy 50's guy with greasy, slicked back hair and pencil-thin mustache whose 'package' seemed to get plenty of attention, particularly from 'Jackie Onassis' !ŠA fine time was had by all and hopefully it will become an annual event. Many thanks to the organizers and particularly T.R. manager Todd Capuzelo who not only was the main guy setting up the bash but also performed tirelessly behind the barŠ..
An appropriate snippet of news at this time of year which I received from my roving reporter, The Balding Eagle, as he continues to uncover the stories others are afraid to exposeŠ"Responding to "a possible threat of terror and fright," Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announced Monday that trick-or-treaters will be subject to random bag searches this Halloween season"Š..
On that disturbing note I shall bid you farewell before I run out of spaceŠbut before I do, may I just say, "Let us prey"ŠHumbly yours, Turkey VultureŠ..