#47 - November 30th, 2005

Well, Thanksgiving, 2005 has come and gone and what a wonderful day was had by yours truly and friends - I hope you did too…Delicious locally produced beers and fine Valley wines, freshly slaughtered lamb from the Yorkville Highlands, and an absolutely stunningly beautiful day, all combined to make it a Turkey Day to remember…
What a superb feast. The leg of lamb – with sautéed onions, white pepper, parsley, rosemary, and garlic cloves inserted into the flank – was served with mashed potatoes with bacon bits, chives, and a subtle amount of melted cheese; yams in garlic butter (yes, we like garlic up here at The Nest); steamed cauliflower, and superb, organic Brussels sprouts ($1.90 a pound from the always excellent Boontberry Store in downtown Boonville and arguably the best Brussels I’ve had for many a long day). All this topped with an onion gravy with a hint of pinot noir…Perhaps the success of the day’s eating extravaganza can be best expressed by the fact that it was still only 5.30pm when I removed my trousers. Fortunately, not only did this allow me to fully appreciate the afterglow of the meal but, as most people understood, it was also a sign of respect for the day as a whole, the food in particular, and for those with whom I spent it...And we’d not even begun to enjoy the chocolate-covered Squirrel-from-the-Forest gateau!...With the flowing wine and ‘civilized’ brandy later in the evening it certainly was a day of excess – just what Thanksgiving is all about, surely…Then in the middle of the night, as I vaguely recall, the rains came pouring down…..
Sure enough, the next morning saw The Nest enjoying the first rain showers for over two weeks. During a break in the weather, I went for a walk along the dirt roads and as I came around a corner I disturbed three turkey vultures feasting on the squished skunk that I had moved off to the side of the road the previous morning. It was Tom, Dick, and Harry – three locals who love to wine and dine.
What a smell!...Skunk in the road is rarely an agreeable thing to most but on this occasion it was at a higher level of unpleasantness than usual. The odor was so over-powering and nauseous that it was if my throat was burning. So, if you don’t already then perhaps you should take a moment to admire the turkey vulture. They have an extraordinary sense of smell and yet, with the largest olfactory (smelling) system in the bird-world, these magnificent creatures were devouring the most malodorous carrion imaginable. Yer gotta like that!...I left the scene quickly but could still smell it one and a half miles away! Just think, engulfed in that smell, one of my fine-feathered friends was no doubt saying, “This smells so great….Move over, Tom, I want to eat some more”…..
Changing gears somewhat…In light of our expose in last week’s “Bird’s Eye View” column which revealed President Bush’s call for the culling of all bald eagles in order to prevent the spread of bird-flu, Balding Eagle was whisked out of Washington D.C. at great expense to me personally and relocated to the edge of Europe from where he continues to perform cutting edge investigative journalism ….Here are his latest ‘words of wisdom’…
‘I am able to reveal that a report will soon be released by the Defense Intelligence Agency that suggests that there is reason to believe that the former Soviet republic of Nukehavistan may be manufacturing nuclear weapons.
The report cited several factors that aroused the DIA's suspicion, including the recent ratification of the Nukehavistan Nuclear Pro-Proliferation Treaty, the hawk clutching several nuclear weapons in the Nukehavistani government seal, and the July release of the commemorative "Great Nuclear Weapons Of Nukehavistan" stamp series.
While U.S. reconnaissance satellites have yielded no conclusive evidence of Nukehavistani nuclear capability or activity, suspicions remain. "High-resolution surveillance images obtained via satellite were marred by a green, glowing hue," says DIA Director, Vice Adm. Lowell Jacoby.
Nukehavistan has neither confirmed nor denied suspicions that they are manufacturing nuclear weapons. Their only response to the mounting investigation came in a vague statement issued late Tuesday from the nation’s capital, Silograd, by Sergei Annihilatovich, who serves as both Nukehavistan's president and its secretary of offensive atomic munitions manufacturing and deployment.
"If this unnecessary investigation by the United States continues, we will have no choice but to nuke them," he said…..’

Regular readers will no doubt be pleased to know that The Completely Bald Eagle has now left Nukehavistan and is recovering from his experiences at a secret venue not a million miles away…..
Not much to report on the Valley Social scene this week as I’ve been hiding out at The Nest most of the time. However, I did get out on Friday evening for an hour or so to enjoy a couple of beers at a very busy A.V. Brewery Tasting Room (The T.R.) and the obligatory, weekly mini burrito from Moya’s Taco stand. It had been a miserable day for weather so flying into town I was somewhat surprised at the number of cars streaming through the Valley - no doubt they were mostly heading for the coast for the holiday weekend and the improved weather which was forecast. They seemed to be traveling in ‘packs’ with numerous examples of a dozen or so vehicles following behind a huge R.V. dawdling along at 35 mph in the 55 mph speed limit outside town. Peering in at the drivers of these monstrosities, as they surveyed the road from their ivory towers, they seemed to have taken on a vacant look as they became increasingly more determined to hang on to their ‘lead’ at the head of the ‘pack’. It seems too bad that they cannot just pull aside, let others pass, and enjoy the drive…But, no – they are miserable and curmudgeonly as they clumsily maneuver their huge containers full of ‘stuff’. They give great credibility to Antoine de Saint-Expuirry’s observation that, “he who would travel happily must travel light”…”Pull over and cheer up” is all I could possibly add…..
Phrase of the Week : I doubt whether many of you are familiar with the term “to build a nest in someone’s ear”. A wise man by the name of Michael Cusack Sr. of County Mayo in Ireland came up with this phrase and added it to his long list of wise, useful, and offbeat phrases known as “Cusackisms” (published by ‘Something like an Egg’ Publications, 1980). It has a couple of interpretations but today I intend to use it in the sense of “to get something from someone by subtle persuasion and cunning”…Now to my point…I am looking to “build a nest in the ear” of a woman in the Valley….
Let me explain…The local group of women, ladies, and sprightly young girls (over 21), known as the Independent Career Women (I.C.W.), have torn down the barriers to their ‘secret’ gatherings and plan to invite men, gentlemen, and rambunctious young boys (over 21) to their Christmas Dinner Party on Friday, December 17th…However, I should point out that not just any male can show up for this exclusive event. Oh, good heavens, no – and rightly so, I say…To be able to attend this extravaganza, the males have to be invited by an I.C.W. member.
So, without further ado, I have to leave you and get out of here to begin my search for an I.C.W. member and then “build a nest in her ear” in order to secure a ticket. The event on the 17th will undoubtedly be an evening of good food, fine wine, and stimulating female company – three of my favorite things - so I will be doing everything in my power to get my claws on one of the ‘hottest’ tickets of the holiday period…Later dudes and dudettes, I’m outta here….
”Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…