#58 - February 15th, 2006

Welcome to the unabridged version of “A Bird’s Eye View” - almost twice the size of the published version appearing in The Anderson Valley Advertiser – an organ that has unfortunately been shrunk from twelve pages to eight resulting in all contributors suffering the “snip”…..
Before I get going I should like to point out that in last week’s issue my column appeared in three separate parts for reasons known only to the “Powers-that-Be” here at the A.V.A. It was in its usual place and then two separate places in the Valley People section. This is fine, I suppose – anything to help, but I was not aware that it would happen that way and it may have confused regular, caring readers…On a more serious note, at the end of the piece I jokingly suggested that any complaints you may have about a reduction in the size of this column, and those of other contributors, could be made by calling the Editor’s home phone number. I teasingly noted that this number could be found on “page 74’…Obviously I did not actually offer the number. However, the editor decided to print his number at the end of my column, making it appear as if I was revealing it. This implied that I was somewhat indiscreet to say the least. More disturbingly, it would appear that the editor has now decided to add bits to columns rather than simply edit them…Strange but true…..
The much-anticipated football game took place the Sunday before last after which many of the participants gathered at the A.V. Brewery Tasting Room to watch the Super Bowl and devour hot dogs, chili, and beer…Yes, folks, the 2nd Annual Boont Bowl, played at The Boonville Fairgrounds between The Grizzly Beers and The Mild Turkeys, was a much closer fought battle than last year but once again the Grizzlies took the title with a 28-21 victory. After a number of last minute free agent signings (ringers), the Grizzlies had just a little too much all round ability and, more importantly, fitness, for a Turkey side full of aging veterans, many of them a few large burritos past their best. For the Grizzlies, MVP receiver Tino “The Catch” Martinez had an outstanding game and was ably supported by Danny Cuny at quarterback, and a fine line on both sides of the ball led by ‘J.W.’, Olie Erickson, and Matt Meyer. With ‘Disc Golf’ Jay, Dave “First Down” Gatlin, Tom “Go To” Towey, and of course, Tino, all picking holes in the opposition defense, it was always going to be tough for the Turkeys.
However, with star Q.B., Jason Paige, playing the game of his life, savvy veterans, Jason “Hustle Up” Schrider and Todd “X’s and O’s” Capuzelo bringing their vast experience to the fore, and skilful receivers Neal “I’m open” Atkins, Jim Snyder, and Uncle Joe making some key plays, the result remained in some doubt to the end. The hefty line of Steve Sparks, Ari Sturtevant, Bruising Bob Sykes, and Bill Teague were determined if not athletic and if a fumble return for a touchdown by Sparks had not been controversially disallowed, who knows how the game may have finished? As it was, the crowd on hand was treated to a wonderful display of “Sunday morning” football played with 100% effort by all the participants. I’m sure those in attendance enjoyed the game almost as much as they did the ‘refreshments’ and cookies…
I attended a wonderful fundraiser for High School Arts held at Handley Cellars Winery last Thursday evening. Together with the fine wines and tasty hors d’oeuvres there was a wonderful display of the work by numerous Valley artists and crafts-persons with a percentage of the proceeds to go to the school. It was also enjoyable on a personal level when at least three people I spoke to commented on how much they enjoyed the Turkey Vulture column (including the A.V.A’s own splendid writer Bruce Patterson). “Too bad about a reduction in the column’s length” was the overwhelming consensus. Over the next few days this seemed to be a something I heard repeatedly around town.…I couldn’t possibly comment…..
Business Briefs…At press time, I have not been into town since the weekend but The Mosswood Market has apparently delayed its opening by a week until Monday, February 20th… As requested, they will have bagels and cream cheese – yes, these two women, Sharon and Debra, will go far!...The new bar/restaurant, The Highpockety Ox, will open in about a month…The Boonville Lodge has changed ownership and I predict subtle changes will follow which everyone will be pleased with – the new owner? - I’m still trying to persuade him to let me reveal him to the public even though many people already are aware of his involvement in the bar. Perhaps he is very timid and was once beaten up by Quakers?…..
The Social Scene…It gives me great pleasure to announce, to those who haven’t heard yet, that one of the Valley’s best social events of the year is actually going to take place despite previous announcements to the contrary...Yes, folks, the Crab Feed is on!...It will be at The Apple Hall on Saturday, Feb., 25th. This year the proceeds will not be for The Catholic Church, which had difficulties in getting organized this year, but instead the Senior Center Gang has stepped in and saved the day. I suggest you make sure nothing stops you from being there…I won’t…..
A minor rant from Don Morris of Willits appeared in the Letters Page of the A.V.A. last week. Following excessive worship at the Church of David, Mark, and Saffron, he called for my column to be rejected from the newspaper on the grounds of its banality, to be replaced with more opinions from the Powers-that-Be. However, based on feedback received at The Nest (turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net), it would appear that the banal is actually in demand, along with a healthy smattering of irreverence, a large dollop of frivolity, and perhaps more than a hint of a sense for the community of Anderson Valley. Come on, Don, this esteemed organ hopefully appeals to all sorts in this corner of Mendocino and beyond, perhaps you should climb down from your ivory tower and meet a few of them…
Now on to more uplifting matters…Let me share a guilty pleasure with you - Mrs. Smith’s French Silk Chocolate…Oh, yes, good readers, it’s gooood, and I have no doubt that you will be thanking me for this little tip when you’ve tried it…Now I know it’s not your Mum’s secret recipe, and it may not appeal to the purists, plus it does come out of a box purchased at the Anderson Valley Market, but you’ve got to like the fact that it’s made on Rolling Pin Lane in Suwannee, Georgia and non other than The Green Sweatered Goose from Lauren’s Restaurant is a fan. I know Mrs., Smith has quite a following in these parts and so I would expect these desserts to sell quickly. Don’t be left out. When it’s late at night and you get a hankering for the sweet stuff, then make sure you have some of this decadent, restaurant quality, chocolate creation on hand – it’s a smooth and sophisticated answer to your munchie needs…..
To send a bill by mail– 39 cents…A gallon of unleaded gas in Nor Cal - $2.89 …A ticket for The Crab Feed in Boonville - $25 (still a bargain though)…A sunny and warm Sunday afternoon in February walking along the beautiful coastal headlands in Mendocino – priceless – in fact it really cannot get much better than this…
Carrion has been detected in my vicinity - I must go…But first, “let us prey”?…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…..