#60 - March 1st, 2006

Numerous people have asked me, either in person or by e-mail to turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net , about my reaction to the Editor’s ‘attack’ on my good self at the end of my column last week. Many of them also seemed concerned about Mr. Severn’s general well-being. For my full response please check out the Letters Page where hopefully it has been printed in its entirety. Meanwhile I can only hope that Mr. Severn, like many of us are prone to do, was simply having a bad day at the time of his tirade. He has no doubt been working very hard to ensure that this newspaper can stay afloat. I appreciate his efforts.…With that in mind, and with space taken up by my reply elsewhere, this week’s column will end here, hopefully to return next week with a complete “Bird’s Eye View” for your edification…..Now, for your god’s sake, “let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…..

From The Letters Page of The Anderson Valley Advertiser, March 1st, 2006
To Mr. Severn and whomever else it may concern….I read with great interest the editor’s comments at the end of my column last week and, based on his illogical rant, it would appear that I have been ‘rattling his cage’ for some time. I had no idea. I was in his H.Q. just the afternoon before last week’s issue “hit the streets”, face to face with the man, and yet not one word was said on this matter. I wonder why. It’s not as if I would have gouged his eyes out with my beak – well, certainly not with Major Scaramella sitting faithfully at his side… Anyway, rather than including my response in “A Bird’s Eye View”, I thought it more appropriate to write a reply to the Letter’s Page where, believing Mr. Severn to be a man of integrity, I am confident it will be printed in full…..
Firstly let me say I was troubled by his strange comment, “I find him (Turkey Vulture) hard to read and seldom do.” Numerous readers have commented on this ‘confession’ and join me in wondering if that’s the case why should he get so upset by the column and how can he judge it so definitively? It’s too bad he cannot read my efforts as, I respectfully suggest, it might help him relax a little and perhaps restore some of the sense of humor he has clearly mislaid. My own funny bone was tickled when he commented that I have a local Valley perspective that is far removed from his “sense of propriety and value” - a little melodramatic on his behalf but, If true, then I can certainly live with it…
In my defense I feel I must dispute his comments regarding my reaction to the recent reduction in the newspapers size. He says that ”almost everyone rallied to the paper’s support to help us survive. Everyone, that is, except the Turkey man”…What a load of nonsense!...Certainly in the last few columns I have made comments, in an obvious “Vutlure-esque style”, about the hierarchy here at The A.V.A. and their role in the unfortunate reduction in the size of my column. In keeping with that “style”, some of these comments were in jest, some had a mild ‘edge’ to them and questioned the editorial decision-making, and some, unfortunately, were edited out. However, my remarks were certainly in keeping with the way the column has always been written. The “whining” and “bragging” I indulged in are an integral part of the Turkey Vulture persona – hence “The Whine of the Week” and the curmudgeonly attitude that is sometimes displayed. Being a complaining, “know-it-all”, wise-ass is part of what Turkey Vulture is about. What self-respecting, opinionated Turkey Vulture would passively accept being cut down in size? It has nothing to do with any serious lack of support for this newspaper…..
Like many others who enjoy their weekly dose of the A.V.A., I was disappointed to hear of the decision but in the January 25th issue I wrote, “although I understand the reasoning behind it, I find it a terrible shame that the ‘Powers that Be’ here at the A.V.A. have deemed it necessary to reduce the size of their esteemed organ. Despite finding myself in disagreement with them on various issues, I have great respect and admiration for the efforts made by The Gang of Three in keeping this ‘Institution’ alive…Supreme Commander Severn, along with his loyal and able sidekick, Colonel Scaramella, and daughter, Saffron, do a fantastic job each week in producing this unique publication. I am personally grateful for being included in this venture and would like to think that most of our readers will remain loyal and continue to give their support despite the reduced format”…Then in the February 8th issue I stated, “I will endeavor to do my best and continue to concentrate mostly on the Anderson Valley matters not covered by others”…To me, these remarks seem supportive of the newspaper and its staff – a rallying call if ever I heard one. …..
Mr. Severn believes I am a ”cheerleader” for the Napafication of our Valley. This is absolute gibberish. I am for small business, not big. Like him, I am all for the sustenance of this community’s “preciousness and beauty” but, perhaps unlike him, I feel that there is some room for improvements in terms of the commercial/social scene and, based on the opinions of many people I meet everyday in the Valley, I am not alone…I have certainly written positive words concerning the wine produced locally, the many local eateries, and the Valley’s brewery. A large number of people in our community work in the service, beer, or wine industry, or certainly have a relative, loved one, or close friend who does…Wouldn’t you agree, Mr. Severn?
Other than that, regular readers will be well aware that my column is almost exclusively full of positive comments about this Valley and the people who reside here. From the brewery to the wineries; the senior citizens to the high school sports; the post office employees to the County Dump; the restaurants to the general stores; the public radio station to The A.V.A. itself; etc; etc; - all are covered almost always with a big ‘thumbs-up” from me. Those who have ‘incurred my wrath’ have been the tourists, the poor-driving visitors, county officials, outsiders in general, and recently, with tongue somewhat in cheek, the A.V.A. hierarchy…
Mr. Severn clearly has a lot on his plate right now as he fights to keep the A.V.A. alive. He is mistaken if he believes that I am seriously harassing him and intentionally adding to his woes. One wonders if the “Powers that Be” are trying to squeeze me out. I hope they don’t, but they certainly have the power to do so. As he points out, when remarking on his recent throwing of a section of my column in the trash, “maybe that’s what I should do with the whole (Turkey Vulture) article”…What with his revelation of his hands clenched around his own throat to signify how much he has had it with me, together with his desire to throw things about his office, it would appear that perhaps Mr. Severn is a little over-worked and stressed out…..
As I’ve said many times before, ‘A Bird’s Eye View” is just the opinions of a hack writer who gets out and about in the Valley more than most and is therefore able to offer, somewhat irreverently and perhaps amusingly, some different viewpoints to those held by others who write herein. The column hopefully entertains and informs and is presented in an easily read, ‘light’ style, contrasting well with much of the A.V.A.’s more well-written and ‘heavier’ articles. Surely a more complete newspaper, serving the whole community, is the result.....
In the big scheme of things none of this is of any real importance. Although he probably doesn’t give a bear’s ass whether I do or not, I think I would like Mr. Severn if I knew him. We have had virtually no interaction in the time I have been contributing to his newspaper. In the brief social situations I’ve had with them, I certainly like Saffron, his grandsons, and their new puppy, Hank. Again, not that any of them give a hog’s snout whether I do or not. Mr. Severn does not know me, or my loved ones, or the vast majority of people in my life. However, I’m sure if we had a chat over morning coffee we might possibly find some areas of common thought….
Anyway…enough of this….I assume Mr. Severn will reply to this response but, unless he” hits me well below the belt”, I shall not be replying again. I have said all I want to say and would hate to think of this newspaper slipping into sensationalist, tabloid journalism….”See you at The Mosswood Market for coffee, David, and may be afterwards we could prey together”…..Yours sincerely, Turkey Vulture…