#63 - March 22nd, 2006

As I sat feverishly sweating in my nest last Wednesday evening I was presented with the new issue of the A.V.A., which had hit the streets earlier in the day. Despite its reduced size, this flimsy organ still felt heavy as I turned the pages with my weak claws. Having read my favorite part of the paper, “Sheriff’s Log”, and finding that my name had once again been omitted, I turned to the letters page and was very surprised to discover a number of letters all concerned with the “misunderstanding” that my humble-self and the Powers-that-Be at the A.V.A. have been embroiled in over recent weeks.
Some of the correspondence was very supportive, as were a number of comments sent to turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net... Other letters were from readers who appeared to be not great admirers of Turkey Vulture. Weird, eh? Some readers even suggested I was some sort of scavenger who received free ‘gifts’ on my visits to the bars and restaurants in the area. “Scavenger” I like, but only if it’s deserved and I have yet to receive a morsel or a sip from anyone – I’ve been a very bad Vulture…..
It has been shown many times in the annals of history that if people are told something often enough they will eventually begin to believe it, whether it’s true or not. When I talk about enjoying a good local wine with a fine meal (or perhaps a local beer with a burrito) at some venue in the Valley, I am merely mentioning a pleasant experience that others might also hopefully enjoy at some point. Yet this is seen as endorsing the “Napafication” of Anderson Valley. If this is interpreted as such, and then repeated enough times, some people will begin to believe it…..
To those readers who have apparently fallen for this basic, yet effective, propaganda tactic, I extend an invitation to visit me here. We can meet up at the new Starbucks in town and you can stay at the local Motel 6. Then, if I ever get any, we can eat and drink all of the complimentary food and alcohol I am given as we watch the pigs flying over the Mall …..
On to a more pleasant matter about which there is surely no controversy - the wonderful St. Patrick’s Day Dinner put on by The Seniors last Friday night… For “earlys” I had enjoyed a couple of pints of Poleeko Gold Pale Ale at the A.V. Brewery Tasting Room in the company of many of the usual suspects, most of whom were also going to the Dinner. We headed over to the Senior Center and in no time at all I was devouring a very tasty corned beef and cabbage dinner, very efficiently served by O’John. I was feeling in a celebratory mood but, despite the very festive atmosphere and traditional flowing of beer and wine, nobody wanted to join me in singing some Irish classics such as ‘Danny Boy’, ‘Molly Malone’, and my personal favorite, ‘Seven Drunken Nights’. I retired to the bar…..
Top barman, Olie Erickson, was in charge and did a fine job in dealing with the revelers, ensuring we all had a great time as we enjoyed a “good drink” together. For me the evening had a familiar end to it when, just as at the Crab Feed a couple of weeks ago, my designated driver and I were herded to the door by a very understanding Eddie Pardini – once again we were the last people to leave…Many thanks to all those who worked so hard to put the event on and hopefully a big chunk of cash was added to the funds needed for the Senior Center’s new marquee…We headed to The Boonville Lodge for “lates” and on the way a naked…(continued on page 74)…..
Meanwhile, I am still ill and, even although I was out and about in Boonville on a couple of occasions in the past week, I am a little concerned with the state of my health at this point. I have a fever, a sore throat, and some conjunctivitis – all classic symptoms of the ‘bird flu’ and I may have to consult a specialist sometime soon…I’ll keep you posted because I know you care…..
Oh dear, my word count limit has been surpassed so I should bid you farewell. It seems as if I have just said “hello” and now it’s time for “goodbye” - such is life at the ‘new’ A.V.A. I have to take my medications anyway so it’s probably a good thing – you don’t need to read my gibberish when I’m under the influence of drugs…
Let us prey…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…..