#64 - March 29th, 2006

The 15th Annual Variety Show will no doubt be reported on in greater detail elsewhere in this newspaper but I do have the distinct pleasure of awarding the annual Turkey Vulture awards - far from satisfactory this year, I’m afraid, as I was only able make it to the second night’s performance…So, remembering that is only my opinion, here they are…(For Saturday only), the “Best Act – Musical” goes to Mike Arago and his Hawaiian music and dance. It was very enjoyable indeed and as he himself said, “This award probably makes me the County’s top Hawaiian act…perhaps because I am the only one!”…”Best Act – Drama” is awarded to The Phantom of the Operetta with its atmospheric set, eerie music, and splendidly dramatic performances by Mike Crutcher and sister, Julia…And finally, “Best supporting performance in an Ensemble Act” goes to David Norfleet for his subtle yet riveting and very believable role as Head of Boontling Security in the “George W.” act… Special mention should also go to the three performers in “Cantina in Tijuana” who coped admirably and in good humor with the technical difficulties they had to endure – the sort of problems which are just part of the rich tapestry that is a real variety show. Speaking to people outside it would seem that the show was a success once again and many congratulations should go to the people who made it happen and the acts who clearly had all put in so much effort…..
What is the verdict on the tasteful addition to the downtown landscape of Boonville? My associates (not myself, I hasten to add) at The Highpockety Ox, the new pub/bar soon to open at the site formerly occupied by the Buckhorn Saloon, have done a wonderful job with their sign out front. It is one of the best pub signs I have seen. One can only hope that none of those Napa-types will see it and decide to duplicate it at some venue on Highway 29 in their pursuit of the Boontification of their Valley…..
As I headed to the Coast last Thursday I had just left Navarro heading north on Highway 128 when, on the long open stretch of road around the 13-mile marker, I spotted what I thought was a small rock on the road in the middle of the southbound lane. On drawing level with the object I realized it was no rock, it was a tortoise! Not something you see everyday, I can assure you… I instinctively glanced up at the road ahead of me and saw a large truck carrying lumber about 1200 feet ahead and approaching fast. It was weird but I knew what I had to do…
I immediately braked and screeched into a u-turn. Seconds later I was facing south and, switching on my hazard lights, I drove slowly back to where the tortoise was taking a break from its casual saunter across the highway. It would be many minutes before the relative safety of the brush could be reached if I did not step in to help. There was nowhere to pull off the road so I stopped in the middle of the lane, a few feet in front of the still resting tortoise, and looked in my rear-view mirror. The truck was probably about 300 feet away and thankfully was now finally slowing down. I stepped out of my vehicle and approached the tortoise. I bent down and its head popped back under its shell as I picked it up. I walked to the edge of the highway and then several yards into the undergrowth. I placed it down amongst some luscious grass. Out popped its head and I returned to the road…
The truck had just pulled up behind me so I waved to the driver who acknowledged me with a nod and an inquisitive look. He had not seen what I had done and was probably confused as to why I had stopped in the middle of the lane and then walked into the trees for such a brief moment. I didn’t think he’d care so I decided not to explain what had happened. I drove off back into Navarro before turning around, this time legally, and resuming my journey to the Coast…..
As I drove through the magnificent redwoods it suddenly occurred to me that this episode was some sort of message. It’s a strange event indeed when a Turkey Vulture helps a living creature off the road rather than waiting for it to be crushed into the tarmac before heartily devouring it. Such an act of ‘kindness’ was most disturbing to an accomplished bird of prey such as myself…..
Following the recent “Turkey Vulture Debates” in this esteemed, yet shrunken organ, along with my belief that with the increased editing the column’s ‘spirit’ had been lost (along with some of the fun I used to get in writing it), I wondered if this episode was some sort of ‘warning’. Caring for potential carrion – had I forgotten my roots?. Had I lost my 'edge'?... My thoughts meandered along with the road on which I traveled and I wondered, “Perhaps ‘my work’ here is done for now and I need a break to reassess the situation”…Or had I simply consumed too much of my medication for the treatment of bird flu and the “act of kindness” was in fact the reckless exploit of a Vulture on drugs?…I couldn’t possibly comment…..
Either way, I do have to make a visit to Europe for a time in order to see an Avian Flu specialist by the name of Dr. Quack. Apparently, the deadly virus is passed on through inhaling dried wildfowl feces - something I have not done since the reckless days of my youth so it is a mystery how I became infected. Anyway, whatever the outcome, I can assure you that, if I survive, I will return…
I would imagine that The Supreme Commander at The A.V.A. will be able to cope without me, particularly with both dutiful daughter Saffron and faithful henchman Corporal Scaramella at his side, not to mention his merry band of loyal disciples…In the not too distant future I do hope to return to the world of Vulture-journalism, either in these pages or those of a publication which gives its readers a chance to hear about the wide spectrum of life in Anderson Valley…..
I much appreciate the “Gang of Three” for giving me the opportunity to share my “Bird’s Eye View”….Special thanks to the A.V.A. readers who take the trouble to read Turkey Vulture and those who have written to The A.V.A. and turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net offering their comments and opinions…And my particular gratitude goes to the many Valley folks who have spoken to me on my travels and offered their support and encouragement...Until my return I hope to keep in touch via www.theturkeyvulture.blogspot.com … So, good readers, stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you…I believe that’s all for now and it only remains for me to suggest - ”let us prey”… humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…..