# 70 - August 1st, 2007

Greetings one and all…and welcome back to another column of this, that, and the other from the mental and physical meanderings of your favorite bird of prey…
First, let’s get the brain in gear and give you this week’s Turkey Vulture Quiz…Three questions…Answers at the end of the column…
1. One of the undoubted masters of Boontling, our local dialect, he had appeared on The Tonight Show with Johnnie Carson speaking in the local tongue. He was known as ‘Chipmunk’ and sadly he passed away a couple of years ago. What was his real name?
2. What is the name of the road that joins Hwy 128 between Boont Berry Farm Store and Alicia’s restaurant in the heart of Boonville?
3. How observant are you?...According to the large numbers that appear on the front of the store, in what year was construction finished on the building which houses the Rossi Hardware Store in Boonville?...
Good news on the local small business front – and “yes” there can be good news on this front despite what some might have you believe…We have two new hair salons in town – one going by the name of Shear Elegance (489-0703) and the other, still called The Hair Station (895-2414) and in the caboose next to Boont Berry Farm, but now under the ownership of Krystine Lynn Snyder. The owner/stylist at Shear Elegance is Amanda Hiatt and she has set up shop behind the Boonville Hotel in a nicely refurbished space. She provides a full-service salon with everything from women’s shampoos and sets, perms and colorings, nails and pedicures, to haircuts for men, and even bikini waxing. Now you may not realize it but Turkey Vultures are particularly vain when it comes to their appearance and I have already had my feathers plucked, my claws sharpened, and my bright red baldhead shined by the very talented Amanda. Why would you go to Ukiah when you have her and Krystine on your doorstep?...Now if we could just get a bank, a pharmacy, and an all-you-can-eat carrion restaurant, I’d never have to leave The Valley…
I spotted the following in this week’s Valley Personals column... ”Optimistic Boonville man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin sister”...Fairly optimistic, wouldn’t you say?…
As I zoomed up and down the Valley it seemed like there were lots of ‘Brightlighters’ in town this past week and that meant a brisk business for One Horse Espresso, the to-go coffee stand alongside the Redwood Drive-in in Boonville. Excellent coffee and very refreshing smoothies are the name of the game and you will always be met with a smile from owner Natalie Mattson or one of the staff, Jenna or Terri. I like to go on a Tuesday mornings particularly – I just thought you should know…
Onward…Next up it’s The Whine of the Week – and it’s an old “favorite” of mine but I like to mention it once a summer, at least…With so many outsiders traveling through The Valley at this time of year the usual awful driving has been much in evidence. It seems we get one extreme or the other – the snail-pacers moving along at 35mph, too drunk or too self-involved to notice that there is a stream of traffic behind them, and ignoring the many turnouts available for slower traffic, or the speedsters who frequently make high risk maneuvers when overtaking at 75mph. Either way it’s very annoying that people will not follow the law. To cap it off some of them react to your inquisitive/angry looks by giving you “the finger”. How stupid is that? Why is this the generally accepted response to anyone questioning someone’s bad driving? This odd form of passive/aggressive road rage is pathetic and I often wonder how they would react if confronted face-to-face by a flipped-off Turkey Vulture. Kissing an angry bear’s ass would be nothing in comparison…
Now on to a far more pleasant topic – The Wine of the Week… This past weekend Hummingbird and myself had some friends in town and we relaxed on the deck at The Nest with a bottle of Pinot Noir from the Navarro Vineyards and Winery to accompany some delicious salmon, fresh off the grill. As I served up the salmon and Hummingbird poured the wine, she commented that I had that hungry look on my face. She was right – the “hungry look” comes as a result of not eating for a while and I’d not eaten for nearly thirty minutes - but I digress…Anyway, the wine provided an excellent pairing and if you’re planning to cook up a little salmon in the next few weeks then seriously consider washing it down with this lovely Pinot from the heart of The Valley…
Now for some good old "Jive Turkey"…I may be a little biased but I sense that our readers would like to know that their favorite local bird of prey, Turkey Vultures, are on average about two and a half feet long/tall with a wingspan of six feet and yet we only weigh about three pounds - I am the exception…. Furthermore, and once again I am a departure from the norm, we can swoop at speeds up to sixty (60!) miles per hour although this feat is more often than not done simply to avoid being "mobbed" by those miserable bastards known as ravens or jays who follow us hoping to snatch some of our prey…. In concluding this fascinating topic for the week, I'm sure you're keen to know that we generally live to be around twenty years old…and yes, you guessed it, I am an oddity in this category also...
That’s all for this week…Be careful out there, may your God go with you, and in the meantime, let us prey…
Humbly yours…Turkey Vulture…..
You can contact me either through the Letters Page of the A.V.A. or e-mail me with your comments of support/abuse, or anything else for that matter, at…
turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net
Quiz Answers…
1. Bob Glover
2. Mrs. Harris Lane – anyone know why?
3. 1931 – many of you pass by it every day, I’m sure!