# 73 - August 22nd, 2007

Greetings one and all…I hope I find you happy and healthy and still enjoying our extraordinarily mild summer. Even the Wise Shepherd of frequently Hotter-than-Hell Yorkville commented that he could not remember it being so pleasant up in High Roller country all summer long – I put it down to global cooling…
Meanwhile let’s get down to business with this week’s Quiz Questions…
1. How far is it from The Valley to Elk along the Philo-Greenwood Ridge Road, according to the sign on Hwy 128?
2. What are the hours of business for The Farmer’s Market held each Saturday in the parking lot of The Boonville Hotel?
3. What was the name of the very first bar in the Valley, situated where the Lodge now stands?

Apology - #246: This goes out to readers of last week’s column who were confused by my reference to “albacore salmon”. Of course I meant to say it was albacore tuna that was an excellent food pairing with the Chenin Blanc from Husch winery but I was clearly distracted or very, very drunk when I wrote that particular sentence. Many thanks to everyone who chose to tell me or point out my error, particularly the long-time Valley party-goer, and former frequent drinker of the classic ‘99 cents for a six-pack of Buckhorn Beer’ – none other than the very appropriately named, “Buckhorn” Bob.

In “Food and Restaurant News” this week, I’d like to follow up on the story mentioned a couple of weeks ago by Mr. Bruce Anderson, Our Supreme Leader here at The A.V.A., that concerned the ownership change at Buddy’s Ice Cream store. I have made the acquaintance of the new owners, Ed and Rebecca Donovan, and have found them to be very pleasant young people with a fine sense of community - I’m sure they’ll do a fine job. They plan to keep the menu pretty much the same for now but have some new ideas for the business in the future and perhaps one of these will be for some bar-b-que items. I have tasted the superb grub served up by “Texas Ed” (as he is known in certain circles) from his bar-b-que-grill-on-a-trailer at local events held at The Ox (a whole roasted pig) and The Philo Pottery Inn (pulled pork and chicken) so if and when bar-b-que is added I’ll be at the front of the line to eat at Buddy’s, along with anyone else who appreciates the work of a grill master…

Universal Truth - # 53: At the end of every party there is always a girl crying and a man drunk…and although they are not necessarily always together, they often are…
And from this week’s Personals…”Heavy drinker, 35, Philo area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in a man who loves his beer, cigarettes, and starting fights in bars at two o'clock in the morning”…And, no, it’s not me!...

“We get all kinds up here” - #114…As I gracefully flew along the northwest end of The Valley last week my Vulture vision spotted a man in distress at the side of the road on Hwy 128 at the junction with Gschwend Road. He was lying at the side of the road, a crumpled bicycle with numerous bags attached to the saddle lying nearby, perspiring profusely, and breathing very heavily. He spotted me and called out for help. I pulled alongside and asked what was wrong.
In a strong foreign accent he said, “I’m in bad health, mate. I was robbed of my passport and money in Leggett and have to get to the Australian Consulate in San Francisco. Then a few minutes ago a big logging truck swerved and cut me off and I crashed into the side of the road. Could you give me a hand?”
Despite his cycling attire I was still a little suspicious. He had a very pronounced beer belly and a ruddy and vein-riddled, alcohol drinker’s complexion. I certainly wondered about the authenticity of his story but thankfully, due to the skintight outfit leaving nothing to the imagination, I could tell he did not have any sort of weapon, not a dangerous one anyway!
We struggled to get what was surely the “heaviest bicycle in the world” on to my pick-up. The bags of “stuff” were extremely heavy and the two of us could barely manage it. We headed for Hendy Woods where he planned to stay for the night and perhaps hook up with someone to take him to the City the next day. We talked briefly during the ride and he seemed like a decent fellow. His name was Ian and he was apparently cycling around the world. Once again the beer belly, the wheezing, and his general health and appearance threw doubt in my mind. Anyway, I took him to the campground, gave him $20 for whatever he may need, and helped him unload the unbelievably heavy bike and his “stuff”.
“What’s in the bags, Ian?” I inquired.
“If I told you, I’d have to kill you”, he replied with a straight face.
“Oh really” I said, waiting for him to smile. He didn’t. “You’ll give hitchhikers a bad name saying stuff like that.”
“They have a bad name these days anyway”, he replied, “And it’s just because a few people have simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong hitchhiker…But don’t worry, you’re o.k., Vulture…Thanks for the ride.”…And with that he turned and walked away, struggling to push his heavy load on the bike with its buckled back wheel…It was a certainly a strange thing to say at the end of a weird interlude and, as I often say, I thought you good readers should know…

With my tale of Ian the Aussie taking up space, there is no Whine of the Week this time – and that, ladies and gentlemen, is precisely my Whine of the Week!...Be careful out there, but first - let us prey…
Humbly yours…Turkey Vulture…..
You can contact me with your requests for Apologies, or anything else for that matter, either through the Letters Page of the A.V.A. or by e-mail at…turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net
Quiz Answers…
1. 18 miles, that’s about 35 minutes as The Vulture flies…
2. 9.45 to Noon…
3. The Anytime – great name for a bar, wouldn’t you say?