# 83 - October 31st, 2007

Greetings one and all, and “Happy Halloween!” to every one of you, no matter whether you are an “Angry Villager” or a “Zombie” on the wild and crazy streets of Boonville this evening…I usually turn out as “An Angry Zombie”…
Talking of which, I attended a Halloween Bash at the weekend at which there was quite an array of splendid costumes on display. These included a “deformed child in a cage” being carried around by a Lurch-like character (I guess you had to be there); a man with a fiendish grin in a Pabst Blue Ribbon hat; a leather-clad, whip-wielding dominatrix in thigh-high, stiletto-heeled boots (always a must at any decent costume party, in my book); a three month old baby who appeared to have come as Winston Churchill (don’t they all?); and a most disturbing costume consisting of a man with a lamb attached to his groin, his trousers half-way down, and wearing a sticker that said, “Caution – Lonely Shepherd” - well, I hope it was a costume, but you never know…
Moving very quickly on…It’s the Turkey Vulture Quiz…Answers at the end…
1. What is the name of the vineyards at the junction of Hwy 128 and the Philo- Greenwood Ridge Road?
2. This Boonville man had a building named after him, owned a hardware and appliance store, was the local judge, a fine "Dump Guy"at the County Dump, and started the local newspaper – The Anderson Valley Advertiser. Who?
3. What event takes place in The Valley on the last weekend of July?

Quote of the Week…”America – a nation of 300 million people of which 250 million have the mentality of used-car salesmen, with all the money they need to buy guns, and no qualms about killing anyone else in the world who tries to make them uncomfortable” - Hunter S. Thompson…Good one, Gonzo, may your god rest your soul…

Whine of the Week – Listening to The Valley’s self-righteous “Tit" (“Television is trash”) people…Let me explain…I attended the “Knowledge and Trivia” Quiz at The Highpockety Ox in Boonville last Thursday evening and, apart from enjoying the company of many locals and numerous fine ales, I learned from the “Film and Television” round of questions that TV’s cartoon family, “The Simpson’s”, had pets by the names of Santa’s Little Helper and Snowball II. Fifteen years ago I was at a quiz in San Francisco when the Quiz Master asked for the names of the Simpson Family members – Homer, Marge, Lisa, Bart, and Maggie. It is a sign of how this clever, cutting-edge, and often very funny program, with its numerous socio-political commentaries, has entered the nation’s psyche that such a question cannot be asked today as it would be far too easy to answer for almost anyone…
Unless, and this finally brings me to my point, the person is a “member” of the “Television is trash” brigade, or "Tit’s" as they are sometimes called. These are people who do not have a television and who, for some reason, let people know this as often as they can, often frowning disparagingly at those that do watch the tube as if they have committed some sort of crime. Their comments are frequently said in such a way as to imply that by not owning nor watching such a device is in some way a sign of their intellectual superiority. Now it’s only my humble opinion of course, but I actually think that in many cases the opposite may be true.
Let me just say that there is a massive amount of complete and utter crap on television. Furthermore, many people without a television are clearly not "Tit’s". However, the attitude often shown by others comes from a very narrow-minded perspective. I believe that if such people were to watch television, showing some discernment in their choices of course, and focusing on the likes of H.B.O. (whose claim is that “It’s not T.V.”), etc, and not on the big networks’ programming, then they might be in for a surprise. They would discover there are many hours a week in which “The Box” is a source for interesting, informative, and intellectually stimulating entertainment, whether it is in the form of drama or documentary, humor or sports, news or cultural programming…
Did any "Tit" see the interview with Gary Kasparov on Bill Maher’s ‘Real Time’ program last week? I think not. Too bad – it showed the former World Champion Chess Player, and more importantly, the current opposition leader in Russia to have a quite brilliant mind, with an ability to think quickly and express himself precisely about every issue under discussion, unlike certain politicians in this country who come to mind…So, come on, you T.I.T.’s, throw of your chains of smugness, step down from your ivory towers of intellectual snobbery, and “turn on and tune in” – you might just enjoy yourselves a little and in all likelihood broaden your horizons and perhaps even learn something…
Wine of the Week…Well actually not a wine this week but beer instead – Guinness in fact! This superb stout from Ireland is poured on draft at both The Ox and The Lodge in Boonville and it’s a marvelous pint at each establishment – if poured correctly. That is, in two stages, with the first two-thirds poured followed by a break until the beer settles and then topped of with the final third - the perfect pint taking 119 seconds to pour. Trust me on this, you’ll thank me later…A few stores in The Valley sell the black and white nectar in cans (the bottles are not nearly as good) and whilst it’s not quite the “real thing”, it comes pretty close when poured into a glass. Sipping this with an egg and bacon (the platter bacon from the deli at Lemon’s Market in Philo is excellent) sandwich and you might well believe that you’re in Ireland sitting next to the Blarney Stone with not a care in the world…and yer gotta like that!
It just remains for me to suggest that you think good thoughts, stay out of the ditches, and, on this weirdest of nights, be careful out there... In the meantime, let us prey...Humbly yours…Turkey Vulture…..
You can contact me with your comments of support/abuse, or anything else for that matter, either through the Letters Page of the A.V.A. or e-mail me at…turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net
Quiz Answers…
1. Corby Vineyards – no public tasting room though…
2. Homer Mannix – quite a character by all accounts…
3. The Woolgrowers BBQ and Sheep Dog Trial – hopefully this year was not the last as rumor has it…