# 90 - December 19th, 2007

Greetings and Happy Holidays to one and all! It’s the season to be merry and bright and a time for sharing with friends, family and loved ones - which can be one and the same of course…
First let’s have a special Turkey Vulture Christmas Quiz…
1. Counting Rudolph, how many reindeer are there?
2. In what country is official policy trying to replace Father Christmas with Grandfather Frost?
3. What beer company’s commercials feature Clydesdales stomping through a winter wonderland?
4. What movie’s main character was George Bailey?
5. What ‘Saturday Evening Post’ artist was known for his whimsical pictures of Santa Claus?
6. According to the gospels, what did the Wise Men bring?
7. In the song “Grandma got run over by a Reindeer” what did Grandma go to get?
8. What is Scrooge’s favorite phrase?
9. Who was the President on Christmas Day 1959?
10. What yuletide wish provides the closing line for “The Night before Christmas?

Next up it’s Public Service Announcement #21: Useful numbers at this time of year…For road conditions and closures use 1-800-gas-road (427-7623) and for power problems and outages call 1-800-PGE (743)-5000…I just thought you should know…
The Party season continues and last Friday I was very fortunate to attend the Independent Career Women’s (I.C.W.’s) Xmas gathering at Scharffenberger Cellars in Philo. This is the only I.C.W. event of the year to which males are invited and there were about twenty of us there, being outnumbered about 3 to 1 – and yer gotta like that!...It was an excellent event with a large selection of fine wines, lovely food and snacks, interesting conversations all evening long, and, whilst I wasn’t the final person to leave (as is my custom at numerous Valley events) I was certainly in the last five or six. I felt it was the right time to go as one of the other males had just commented that it was “time to take that horny female home” referring to the ‘fun-loving’ Hummingbird at my side!…Many thanks to all concerned, in particular President Mary Pat, Treasurer Arlene, Secretary Terry, and Scharffenberger’s Sharon – great job…
It had felt like a party earlier in the day when I stopped in at the Elementary School to see some friends on the final day of the semester. This is definitely a fun place and I couldn’t help thinking that it’s too bad I’m not in 5th grade anymore. Everyone was smiling, kids and teachers alike, and I received more hugs in thirty minutes than I normally do in thirty nights at The Lodge, The Ox, Lauren’s, and The Hotel combined. I felt like Santa Claus in feathers…It was almost too good to be true, surreal even, and so I felt a little sense of relief when one little fellow came up to secretary Nicole and tearfully informed her that another boy had called him “butt-face”…Phew, “back to the real world”, I thought, “this place was getting scarily nice”…
Almost as “nice” was the event and setting I attended the following evening – Diana Charles’ and Bill Teague’s Xmas Cocktail Party at the Charles’ home just north of Philo. Many locals were there to enjoy the wonderful array of food and drinks. It was great to catch up with so many friends and I can only hope that nobody noticed how many bacon-wrapped shrimp I devoured, not to mention the amount of time I spent hovering over the amazing chocolate fountain, dipping in my strawberries and raspberries…
Much later that night I enjoyed some excellent and lively punk rock at The Ox thanks to local punkers, ‘Thirty aut Sicks’ and then later still I was very fortunate to be present at the unofficial and impromptu erotic/exotic dancing on the bar at The Lodge by an attractive young woman with a tattoo quite a few inches below her navel – oh, yes, good readers, it was a splendid night in The Valley…
Now it’s a beautiful Sunday morning but the rains are on the way and by the time you read this you may well have been soaked a couple of times – but, hey, we need it!...So will we get snow at Xmas? Not on The Valley floor I’m sure but up in the hills we just might. That would be very picturesque and Christmas-like. I’d love to see it, I’m sure I’d enjoy the festivities even more - but probably not quite as much as children and gay men for whom, as I’m sure they would agree, Christmas is really for…
I have only one more thing to add, and I think you know what it is – “Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
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Quiz Answers…
1. Nine…2. Russia…3. Budweiser/Anheiser-Busch…4. It’s a Wonderful Life…5. Norman Rockwell…6. Gold, frankincense, myrrh…7. Her medication…8. “Bah, humbug”…9. Eisenhower…
10. "Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night”…