# 92 - January 9th, 2008

Greetings one and all…So the ‘real’ rains finally arrived and with them came some quite ferocious winds that made flying around The Valley quite a risky business. Nevertheless, I obviously survived to file the following report…
First up it’s the Turkey Vulture Quiz…(answers at the end)…
1. His wife works at the High School; his daughter attends the school; there is a sheepdog trial held at The Fairgrounds named after his father; and he is the County Trapper. Who is he?
2. What is the elevation of Navarro, home to the Deep Enders? (To the nearest 25’ will do)
3. What important function does Joe Dresch perform in The Valley?...
Now it’s a quick Quote of the Week…”The mind is an erogenous zone too”…No, this was not Susan Sarandon (the thinking-Vulture’s pin-up and the woman who features prominently in this particular Vulture’s secret fantasy), but they are in fact the words of non other than that sexy, voluptuous star of the sixties and seventies, Raquel Welch – a woman’s whose ‘words’ I had great admiration for as an adolescent boy…
Moving very quickly on…I had a thoroughly rewarding visit to The Dump this past week thanks to Bill the Bearded Dump Guy. As I was maneuvering from the recycling section to the large trash containers he heard an unusual sound emanating from my wheels. He stopped me and told me to unlatch the hood. He checked and found that my power steering fluid was virtually empty. “Just a minute, Vulture”, he said with a smile. A few moments later he returned with a bottle of the appropriate fluid and poured it into the system. Just a few moments later, as I drove down the driveway, the noise went away. Now you don’t get that sort of service at any Dump do you?
Meanwhile, down in The Deep Ender country of Navarro, my leading investigative reporter, Balding Eagle, reports that certain “usual suspects” set off bombs both at midnight on New Year’s Eve and again at noon on New Year’s Day. A concerned local citizen who was worried about her windows being blown out had forewarned me of this event and I therefore dispatched my top observer, dragging him away from the case of champagne he had been planning to devour for the New Year celebration. Apparently no damage or loss of limbs occurred but there were unconfirmed reports that several Navarro residents believe that such behavior is legal in their town and knew they would not be in trouble with the law. Is this true? I think we should be told…
Here’s the latest from my #1 fan, ‘Confused of Comptche, California’…“Dear Turkey Vulture, I was never in Vietnam, so when I see helicopter blades spinning it takes me back to the time I was in a hot steamy house with a slowly rotating ceiling fan.”…He’s getting weirder every week wouldn’t you say?...And why are helicopters flying over Comptche? I couldn’t possibly comment…
May I express the appreciation held by many in The Valley and its environs for the fine job done by the staff at KZYX & Z during the storms of last week. Led by program director Mary Aigner, their up-to-the-minute weather and road reports, together with the latest on power outages, were very helpful to all those listeners huddled around their radios. Special mention for his clear and concise work should go to “Smooth-talking” Vance, although he was almost too smooth and at times sounded as if he was broadcasting from a warm and sunny beach in Hawaii…It was good to see our hard-earned contributions being used to good effect and it was all done with not a single, unnecessary, politically correct comment - how refreshing! It was good community radio and that’s all we ask…
Up at The Nest, we wallowed in the mud and struggled over fallen branches but Hummingbird had done her homework. The cell phones and solar system had been fully charged before PG & E went down, the propane tank and kerosene lamps were full, and the fridge was overflowing with goodies. She’s a keeper, I tell you…
It’s a quiet time of year for the local businesses in downtown Boonville and beyond and as a result some are cutting back their hours. Here’s a few that I am aware of…Libby’s Mexican Restaurant in Philo is closed until February 1st, as is the Bates/Mailliard Mercantile in Boonville…The Boonville Hotel is open for dinner on Fridays and Saturdays only; The Ox is open for lunch Thursday thru’ Monday and dinner until 9.30pm every day except Wednesday when it is closed; and Lauren’s Restaurant closes on Sunday and Monday, but opens 5-9pm the rest of the week…Alicia’s closes on Tuesday but is open the rest of the week for lunch and then from 5-8pm in the evening; The Mosswood Market closes on Sunday but is open until 3pm every other day; The General Store closes every day at 3pm, except Friday when it re-opens at 5.30pm for pizza until 8.30pm; and the restaurant at The Redwood Drive-In is open every day from 6am until 3pm (you can get service inside the mini-mart until 8pm)…Of course you can be sure that The Pic ‘n’ Pay will be open just about whenever you need it to be. Those guys saved the day with that pound of butter on Christmas morning - crucial for the garlic-mashed potatoes! Remember two things - “support your local businesses – you’d miss them if they weren’t there” and of course, my personal favorite, “eating out is fun!”…
That’s all for now…Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches and think good thoughts, and may your god go with you…
Let us prey…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at

Quiz Answers…
1. That would be Gary Johnson, son of Floyd, and trapper extraordinaire, unless you’re a coyote or mountain lion, I suppose…
2. The Deep Enders are at 260 feet – a long way down from the High Rollers of Yorkville up there at 950 feet…
3. Joe is the Post Master in Philo – and a very good one too!