# 94 - January 23rd, 2008

Greetings one and all – I hope I find you well and many of you eagerly anticipating the A.V. Film Festival with its wide-range of films, many of which have a connection with The Valley…But let’s get straight in to this week’s Turkey Vulture Quiz…
1. According to the sign at the edge of town, what is the population of the town of Navarro?
2. What is the name of the real estate office in Philo?
3. At some point below I mention the Crab Feed on Feb 2nd to benefit St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church but there is another one being held on Feb, 23rd. Who/what are the beneficiaries of this event?
Quote of the Week…Let’s continue to hope that John F. Kennedy’s words come to pass, “Mankind must put an end to war or war will put an end to mankind”…
Meanwhile. I received a very peculiar message from my No. 1 Fan, “Confused of Comptche, California” who by the sound of it will soon be moving on to bigger and better things. He wrote this week, “I couldn't believe my luck the other day when I received an envelope on which were printed the words 'Check Inside. You Could Already Have Won Half A Million Dollars.' And sure enough, there inside the envelope was half a million dollars in crisp new £100 bills.”…Unbelievable!
Last Friday at 1pm I tuned into the local public radio station to listen to Anderson Valley Advertiser Supremo, Bruce Anderson sharing his thoughts on various issues with the people of Mendocino County. I was most surprised to hear the host of the show announce that, despite confirming his intended attendance the previous day, Bruce had not shown up at the studio at the High School in Mendocino. This tardiness was most unlike “Our Mighty Leader” but I imagined he would be there in a matter of minutes…However, he never did show up.
By 1.30pm I called the A.V.A. office and spoke with Bruce’s loyal and faithful “Major Contributor”, Mark Scaramella, and was told that Bruce had wanted to be there with plenty of time to spare so he had left for the station at about 10.45am for the hour-or-so drive. He should have been there by noon at the latest. Surely we and/or the radio station would have heard from him in the event of car trouble or the paper’s sources would have been informed if an accident had occurred. We were at a loss to explain Bruce’s ‘disappearance’… ”Foul-play?” I thought aloud…I have been reading a book by Kate Coleman about Judi Bari and the eco-terrorist organization, Earth First! Bruce is mentioned many times in the book and it is obvious that he has accumulated “enemies” from that time (and since) so perhaps it was inevitable that my over-active imagination now led me to suggest to Mark that perhaps something “untoward” had happened to him. Mark wouldn’t entertain such thoughts, although I did detect a trace of concern in his voice. We agreed to wait a while and see if Bruce showed up at the printers in Willits, as he had planned to do after his appearance on the radio show.
Sometime later Mark called to say that Bruce had arrived in Willits. He was fine but he’d mistakenly gone to the Ft. Bragg High School thinking the radio show was being broadcast from there. He asked around but nobody could help so he had headed off to Willits. Mark added that I had been the only person to call the newspaper… The ‘party line’ emanating from A.V.A. Headquarters was to be that a sudden bout of “early Alzheimer’s” had stricken Bruce. Of more concern to me was the ‘sad but true’ thought that as I was the only person to call the paper and inquire about Bruce’s whereabouts, did this mean that hardly anyone listens to KZYX & Z on a Friday lunchtime, or was it because those that do listen believe Bruce to be an unreliable flake, or was it that perhaps virtually nobody cares about Bruce and his well-being? Surely it’s not the latter…
Now it’s time for this week’s “Good thoughts, rampant rumors, and a few moans and groans from The 3-Dot Diner”…
…Who is the moronic motorcyclist who insists on tearing along Hwy 128 at approximately 80 mph just north of Boonville at various times during the week and on Sunday afternoons in particular? The noise of his engine as he roars into the distance is most unsettling as you anticipate a deafening screech and crash at any moment. Hopefully he doesn’t kill anyone and the worst that happens to him is that his bike is wrecked and he has to wear a neck brace for six months…
…None of us gathered at The Diner were able to attend the party thrown by public radio station, KZYX & Z, last Saturday evening for recently departed employees, Annie Esposito and Bert Seagull. I would imagine that it was well attended, Annie has lots of admirers, and I wish them both well in their future endeavors…
…The Crab Feed tickets are going very quickly. It’s on Saturday, Feb 2nd and as I mentioned last week the easiest place to get them is from one of the lovely young women at The One Horse Espresso coffee stand in downtown Boonville…
That’s all for now…See you at The Film Festival – I’ll be the one noisily devouring the popcorn in the back row…Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches, think good thoughts, and may your god go with you…
Let us prey…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at
Quiz Answers…
1. There are apparently 67 people who live in Navarro, before the last bomb anyway…
2. It’s ‘Anderson Valley Realty’…
3. The Senior Center – which is where the Feed is being held…