# 117 - July 2nd, 2008

Greetings to one and all and I hope I find you in good sprits despite the continuing poor yet improving conditions in and around The Valley. Whilst a number of the fires are gradually being contained, the smoke has been terrible at times over the past week or so, particularly in Boonville and the heart of The Valley. The Community has come forward with great fortitude and enthusiasm once again and the efforts of so many people should be acknowledged - the firefighters particularly, but also lots of others in direct support of those brave guys, along with those who have lent a hand to people in need of help with moving themselves, their possessions, and/or livestock etc. The whole effort has been heart-warming and in many cases truly remarkable…

Not everyone has been so wonderful, of course – that would be expecting too much. This results in my Whine of the Week and concerns the inability of certain people to ever admit that they may be in the wrong. An incident highlighting this kind of social ineptness occurred when I was in the parking lot of The Philo Post Office last Friday afternoon. Following the usual enjoyable banter with local folk at that fine establishment, I was approaching my vehicle when a car swerved into the parking space alongside my truck. The driver stopped so close to my pick-up that there was no way I could get into the driver’s side door. I looked inside the offending car and recognized the driver - many people know many other people in The Valley.

‘Hi, -----, could you please just move over a little so that I can get in my car”, I politely asked.

“You shouldn’t drive such a big piece of s***”, was the very surprising reply as he got out of his car. These were his first words.

“What!?!?” I said, incredulously. “It isn’t a big deal, is it?”

“Am I in my parking zone?” he said, walking round to check if he was in-between the lines on the tarmac.

He was, and so was I. The difference was that he had pulled into the far right side of his space whilst I was in the middle of mine. As he passed by me I detected a pungent and most unpleasant body odor. I ignored this although those close to him could maybe mention it to him; anyone would think he bathes in the river, which was o.k. for the Indians but sadly the rivers can no longer be relied upon for personal hygiene purposes.

As he walked back round his car, I inquired, somewhat sarcastically, “And how’s your day going, -----?”…


”This is what happens when you drive such a piece of crap” was his snarling comment as he got into his car and moved his vehicle to the middle of his zone, thus enabling me to get into my truck, which is just a standard Dodge Ram pick-up, one of many such vehicles in The Valley, and one I need to have to do much of my land and livestock work. He then got back out of his car and strode off towards the Post office, mumbling some unintelligible nonsense to himself as he went. A curmudgeonly Turkey Vulture would be like a jolly clown in comparison to this “miserable bastard” - as I referred to him as he shuffled away.

I was shocked. This unprovoked outburst had come completely out of nowhere. Perhaps he is terminally bitter and this is how he behaves in any confrontational situation, no matter how innocuous it may be. Perhaps, if he is on medications, he had not taken them. If that’s the case he really should be more diligent about this if he intends to circulate in the community, not to mention finding some soap and hot water.

However, what I believe the real underlying reason for his outburst was that this was someone who is under the misapprehension that he is always, unfailingly right. We all know such people. He is so self-righteous that he didn’t like me questioning his parking acumen, although I was hardly doing this, merely asking him to move his vehicle over a little way. He saw this as a form of criticism and he couldn’t take it, exploding into a rude and totally unnecessary tirade. This guy has no class and I must take a moment to remind him of this fact when I next see him scuttling around The Valley…

I was able to enjoy a far more pleasant experience on Sunday afternoon when I attended the monthly Barn Sale on the north side of town. In the field alongside the Barn, the local shepherds, who regularly work their dogs on the sheep in those pastures, were playing host to a special guest/friend. It was Colleen Duncan, last year’s winner of the High Points Trophy for the Redwood Empire Sheep Dog Association (R.E.S.D.A.), and she was sharing her vast knowledge and wonderful dog handling skills with the locals. I watched intently as she worked two of her own young dogs, Hope and Tango, on the not always obliging sheep, before giving an unofficial clinic on the finer points of sheep dog work to the young pups belonging to our apprentice shepherds. Everyone had a most enjoyable and beneficial time and, with the sizzling burgers to follow, courtesy of Bill Holcomb on the grill behind The Barn, and the smoke somewhat dissipating for a few hours, I have to say it was a special afternoon in Boonville…Even “Miserable Bastard” might have enjoyed himself - well maybe not…

This weekend sees the annual Independence Day festivities and I’m sure a good time will be had by all who attend Sunday’s Old Time 4th of July Celebration at The Fairgrounds in Boonville from noon to 4pm. Along with the usual fun events, I see there is to be a chicken clucking and rooster crowing competition. Any self-respecting Turkey Vulture has to like his chances in those events, not to mention the fact that there will be barbeque tri-tip, hot dogs, and homemade pie! See you there – I’ll be the one clucking, crowing, and chowing down – possibly all at the same time!...

Be careful out there, try to stay out of the ditches – and the smoke, remember to keep the windows cracked if you have pets in your car, think good thoughts, and may your god go with you…Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…

You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at
turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net