# 133 - October 22nd, 2008

Greetings one and all…Are you sitting comfortably - then I shall begin…As usual, let’s start with a Valley Quiz!...This time we have a local music theme - answers at the end…
1. Which band was the headline act on Saturday night at this year’s Mendocino County Fair?
2. Who will be the main act at the upcoming Halloween (actually Nov. 1st) party being organized by The Magic Company at The Grange?
3. Who provided the music at the recent Harvest Party to benefit the ElderHome and Senior Center, also held at The Grange?
It’s that time again – yes, readers, this coming weekend, October, 25th/26th, sees the monthly Barn Sale at The St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville. It runs from 9am to 3pm on both Saturday and Sunday and along with bargains galore you can “experience” a delicious Holcomburger fresh off Bill’s grill, and perhaps, on the Sunday, even see some shepherds and their dogs working the sheep in the field alongside. Sounds like a delightful afternoon to me!
This weekend also sees the final gathering of the year for the Boonville Farmer’s Market in the Boonville Hotel parking lot from 9.45 to Noon, and will feature a potluck. The good news is that in its place over the winter months there will be a Food and Craft Mart, also organized by Cindy Wilder, held each Sunday from Noon to 2pm at The A.V. Grange Hall on Hwy.128 between Boonville and Philo. As Cindy tells it, “If you grow it or make it, you can sell it!”…For further details call 895-2949…
Whilst I have been featuring several “Whines of the Week” of late, I haven’t done a “Wine of the Week” for some time - and this week is no exception. However, in a related ‘incident’, I did find myself indulging in the superb Caldo de Mariscos (Seafood Soup) at Libby’s Mexican Restaurant last Saturday lunchtime. The food here continues to be of a high quality and Libby makes this particular special by using Red snapper, Shrimps, Mussels, Clams, veggies and rice. By dipping in the homemade delicious corn tortillas and accompanied with a chilled bottle of Pacifico beer, the experience was, dare I say it, orgasmic, and can therefore be highly recommended...
‘Signs that The Apocalypse may NOT be approaching - #1’: This shocking news just in from my top investigative reporter who is embedded with The Onion magazine in Chico, California...”In an unprecedented and historic event Monday, the 'I Am Under 18' button, an Internet security device which if selected restricts access to websites featuring adult content, was clicked for the first time ever, anywhere, by a young fellow in California. 'I knew I could simply claim to be over 18 and continue onto my desired destination, but I also realized that I would have to live with the lie for the rest of my life,' said local resident Ivor Biggun, 17. 'I admit, I was curious to see what type of material I would find on www.juggworld.com, but that button was clearly placed there for a reason, and let's face it: 17 and three-quarters is not 18. I plan to return to the site three months from now, when I will be mature enough to handle its content.’ “…Seems like a nice boy; peculiar, but nice…
If only Ivor had listened to American politician and military man, Alexander Haig, perhaps he would not have had to live “with the lie” of claiming to be 18. Following Haig's advice, he probably would have decided to not click the button and thoroughly enjoy what he found on juggworld.com. For it was Haig who explained away numerous ‘truth-stretching’ with the famous words, “It is not a lie, it is a terminological inexactitude”… And that, courtesy of the General, is your Quote of the Week…
County Sheriff Tom Allman, the head honcho in these parts and quite a far way beyond, showed up in town last Tuesday evening and popped into The Boonville Lodge Bar and Grill where I was enjoying a nice tossed green salad and a cup of herbal tea – just joking. The Sheriff guzzled down several Jack Daniels and Cokes – still just joking. He actually said a friendly “hello” to the customers and enjoyed a chat with a couple of them before announcing that he was checking in on the well-being of an “old friend”, Amy Bloyd. She wasn’t there that night and he left shortly after…Now far be it from me to gossip but it was at The Parade at The County Fair that the very expressive Amy showed her “approval” of the job Sheriff Tom is doing by flashing her “girls” to him as he rode past on a float. I personally saw him smile in appreciation. Now fast forward to last Tuesday when he comes in to the bar to see her. I’m sure it’s all very innocent and I couldn’t possibly comment further…
Well, following the “adult” nature of the column this week, I think it’s definitely time to take my leave!...Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts, and may your god go with you…Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
P.S. “Hi, potential Sheriffs, good to see you at the “Meet-and-Greet” at Lauren’s on Sunday – hopefully we can work something out”…
You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net…
Meanwhile, here’s the Quiz answers…
1. Dean Titus and The Coyote Cowboys
2. The Mermen
3. The Peanut Butter and Jam Band