# 147 - February 4th, 2009

Greetings one and all…Are you sitting comfortably - then I shall begin…Well I enjoyed my week off and I hope you did too – enjoy the week that is, not necessarily the absence of this column (?)...Anyway, hopefully you had your life savings bet on Arizona to cover with the seven points they were getting in the Super Bowl. If so, you will no doubt soon be reading this esteemed organ on the deck of your newly purchased tasting room and winery in the heart of the Valley. Isn’t being a wine maker what many amongst the nouveau riche aspire to? Or does it just seem that way? Just asking...
This coming Saturday night (Feb 7th) sees one of the best events of the year here in The Valley - The “Original” Crab Feed, organized by Gloria Ross with great assistance from her splendid Crew. It’s at the Apple Hall at The Fairgrounds in Boonville and benefits the St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church. The ‘Happy Social Hour’, featuring wine, beer, cocktails, and good conversation, will take place from 5.30pm to 7pm at which point the “Feed” will commence. This “Mother-of-all Feeds” will be followed by the world famous “Best Little Raffle in the West”, hosted by John “Smooth-talking” Schultz...The bar will remain open until 10.30pm and more social time can be enjoyed until I am asked to leave at around 11pm...
In honor of this event, and bearing in mind my personal advice for everyone in attendance to eat, drink, and be merry, I give you the Quote of the Week... ”Attendance to health is the greatest hindrance to life” – very wise words indeed from one of history’s wisest – the one and only Plato, a founder of Western philosophy and all-round clever bugger from Greece...
Now it’s time for a few “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors from The 5-Dot Lounge” – my favorite bar/restaurant in the Valley.....(5 dots – geddit?).....A quick heads-up - the vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital will be at Dig (formerly the Farm Supply) in Philo next Thursday (Feb 12th) at 2pm.....Has A.V.A. Supremo Bruce Anderson really mellowed as I keep hearing, or is it a fiendish plot to lull us all into a false sense of security before he lashes out and reduces us all to tears and humiliation? I couldn’t possibly comment.....Someone has to say it again – Cindy Wilder does a great job both with the Farmer’s Market and now, during the winter months, at the A.V. Grange Mart – a food (local produce, fish and seafood, etc) and craft market held each Sunday at The Grange from noon to 2pm. Think about showing up – the more the merrier; may be you’ll find just what you are looking for and perhaps a surprise or two.....Heidi Knott and Mitch Mendosa’s documentary about teenage pregnancy, “Mommy, Daddy, Wait for me”, was an excellent ingredient in the mix at the recent A.V. Film Festival. The filmmakers’ focus and technique surely resulted in viewers’ heartfelt interest in the participants future welfare and, for those at whom its message is aimed, a clear and concise theme that teenage pregnancy is the last thing they would want to deal with. Hopefully a wider audience will get to see this important and very relevant movie. (To purchase copies contact hknott@mcn.org).....
Whilst at The Grange getting in the mood to watch ‘Pig Hunt’ at last week’s film extravaganza, I found myself sipping some delicious Claudia Springs Zinfandel as I nibbled on a Brownie from Mosswood Market. Now if that isn’t a marriage-made-in-heaven I don’t know what is! The Zin was delicious, a perfect complement to the rich chocolate in the brownie, and can certainly lay claim to the Wine of the Week. To say the experience was orgasmic would be an understatement and one has to wonder why people would go pig-hunting and risk their lives chasing a 3000 pound wild hog when they can sit around eating and drinking this kind of stuff...
And that brings me to the Whine of the Week...Did you enjoy the inauguration? I certainly did, although it was really only Obama’s speech that was of any significance in the whole affair. Parades and talking-heads wrapped up in layers of winter clothes become boring very quickly to this cynical curmudgeon...Several people I’ve met/overheard in the past week or so were at pains to announce in a self-satisfied way that they missed it because they do not have/watch television. I have mentioned this group before – T.I.T. (‘Television is Trash’) is the title of their ‘cult’ and they never miss a chance to point this ‘fact’ out – it’s quite odd...Besides, why didn’t they make an effort to see this historic event by attending its screening at the High School gym? What a good idea by someone – Jerry Cox mentioned this thought with me some months ago so perhaps it was him... Anyway, I suppose those T.I.T.s that did make the effort will now go back to four more television-free years. In my humble opinion, that’s unfortunate for them. If their decision to go without the ‘evil box in the corner of the room’ is an ‘intellectual’ one then perhaps they are not as ‘intellectual’ as they would have us believe. A discerning viewer with a television remote in his or her hand has a potential wealth of information, education, and often stimulation at their fingertips. I’ve rambled on about this before but I just thought ‘they’ might want to be reminded. To the rest of you, I apologize for my repetitiveness from the heart of my bottom...
Perhaps I should go now - I’ll get my coat shall I?...Hopefully I’ll do a Valley Quiz next week but meanwhile be careful out there; think good thoughts; may your god go with you...I’ll see you at the Crab Feed – I’ll be the one with crab juice trickling down my chin onto my shirt and praying that those at the priest’s table don’t win the best raffle prizes like they did last year (not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course – well not much anyway)…Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net…