# 156 - April 8th, 2009

Greetings one and all…Are you sitting comfortably - then I shall begin...First I must be the bearer of some news which may distress you – I shall be out of town, and therefore unable to present my ‘Bird’s Eye View’ of the Valley for the next four issues...Calm down, take it easy, you will get through this...Meanwhile, here are a few things I wanted to share with you before I go...
Another respected member of the community has left in the last month. That would be Alex from the Pic & Pay in downtown Boonville. With their long opening hours, he not only provided a very good service but he always did so with a smile and affable nature that others could learn from. Alex grew up in Pakistan and, after learning English on arriving here in the last decade, he became an important asset/part of the community. He has moved to Fresno to be closer to other family members and where there is another family-owned Pic & Pay. I have heard that he already would like to come back but it probably will not happen any time soon...”Best wishes, my friend, and I guess we’ll have that curry on your return.”
I’m not sure what another friend of mine, Amy Bloyd, meant exactly, but as I prepared to leave the celebration for the Philo Firehouse opening the weekend before last, she gave a very loud welcome to a new arrival at the door of the wonderful new building. “Hey, it’s Dirty George!”, she shouted as George Gowan entered. Virtually everyone in the room looked around at poor ‘Young’ George (as the sixty-something is known) whilst he shriveled in the limelight like the proverbial dear in the headlights. He then just nodded in her general direction as he sheepishly nibbled on his tri-tip sandwich...I asked her what she meant by that and, with a raucous laugh, she said I should look it up – I did...’Dirty’ – ‘soiled; obscene or lewd; undesirable; unfair; hostile’...I guess you can take your pick but as she said it with a big grin on her face I don’t think she meant it in a bad way and it seemed as if they were old friends/acquaintances. Chief Colin Wilson shook his head and smiled, “That’s Amy’”...Very true, Chief, and bless her for being herself...
Here’s some reminders for the next few weeks...Every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday The A.V Museum is open from 1pm to 4pm - that would be at The Little Red Schoolhouse next to The Elementary School – think about it, you will feel better for a visit... The traveling Vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital will be in town on April 9th and then again on April 23rd at Dig Landscape and Garden Supply a mile or so north of Philo. They will be helping within your pet’s needs from 2pm until 3.30pm and you can sign in earlier if you wish...And finally, on the last weekend of the Month, it’s the always enjoyable Barn Sale at The St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville. It runs from 9am to 3pm on both Saturday and Sunday…Now you know...
Selfish bastards!... I’m talking of the Winery(s) that last weekend fought off the frost with their ridiculously loud heating fans (are they working correctly? – if not fix ‘em!!) blaring throughout the night like several hovering helicopters. Many of the residents in the area from Holmes Ranch to Floodgate, and possibly much further, must have thought they were under ‘attack’ from the Air Cavalry. Why can’t they invest some of their millions on a better frost protection technique? It’s a disgrace that nothing is done about this. How would they like it? I don’t suppose we’ll ever know as I cannot imagine they have any fear of it happening to them whilst they sleep peacefully in their luxurious ivory towers many, many miles away...Please pass me the sick bag, Bruce...
Next, here’s a couple of responses to readers who have written in... Chuck Wilcher asks whether last week’s Quiz question wanted the longest-serving active Fire Chief in the state or one who had passed on. Well I was looking for the longest-serving active Chief and that is Bobby Beacon of Elk with 46 years and counting. Charles informs me that the longest ever was Foggy Gomes who served 54 years for the Mendocino fire department and was honored with a letter from then President Clinton for breaking the 50 years of service milestone...Then J. Biro asks, "Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?”...Well I was always told that is was because the sheep liked them better that way but perhaps there are other answers – check it out at www.scottishtartans.org/faq...
As I will be gone for some time I do believe the only civilized thing to do would be to leave you with something special for ‘The Value of a Drink’ Thought of the Week - as explained by Cliff Clavin, of the television sitcom Cheers.... One afternoon at Cheers pub, Cliff was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: “Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.” I couldn’t have put it better myself...
I should go now – I’ve got to see a dress-wearing Scotsman about a sheep...I’ll be back in May with the Valley Quiz, the Wine and Whine of the Week, plenty of “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from The Five-Dot Lounge, a little Jive Turkey, and so much more...Be careful out there; think good thoughts; stay out of the ditches; and may your god go with you...Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture.
You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net