# 312 - June 20th, 2012

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… As happens with most ‘scandals’ in these parts, the story of a ‘change in direction’ for the local store, ‘All that Good Stuff’, planned by landlord Johnnie Schmitt and friends’, that gripped the community a few months ago, had its loud ‘fifteen minutes of fame’ and then quietly disappeared. Both sides involved in that episode believed they had solid points to argue in their favor and the discussions could have gone on and on as a disappointed community became increasingly involved, but the story soon passed into Valley folklore and we all moved on. However, inevitably in this case, there would be more developments to report at some point and, following recent in-depth investigations, I can now do so… 

       According to owner Leslie Hummel, she and business partner Claudia Jimenez, have managed to find a ‘new home’ for their store, which has been one of the most popular small businesses among most Valley folks for many, many years. Apparently at some point towards the end of the year, or perhaps very early in 2013, they will be moving to the property next to the Fire Station on Hwy 128. At this new location, they will have a fair and reasonable lease agreement with property owners Aaron Weintraub and Anne Bennett, who are developing their property in that up and coming area of town known as SoBo (south Boonville). This is already the home to local businesses, ‘Sheer Elegance’ hair and beauty salon, owned by Amanda Hiatt, and Steve Woods’ architect’s office and, I am reliably informed, there are more to come. No doubt the community, which showed virtually unanimous support for Leslie and Claudia in their dealings with the Farrer Building and its human associates earlier in the year, will get together to enjoy to a big send-off party for Leslie and Claudia when they make their move to what will hopefully be, given their recent problems, a more satisfactory situation for all. The question now is – what goes into the Farrer Building in their place? I could make an educated guess but I’ve said enough for now… 

       Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready, it’s a busy weekend coming up… #125 – The annual Sierra Nevada World Music Festival takes place at The Fairgrounds in Boonville this coming Fri thru’ Sun, June 22-24. Thousands of reggae-loving visitors will be here and they will no doubt be joined by many locals too… #126 - Those of you wishing to get a feel for the European Soccer Championships currently taking place in Poland and Ukraine, can watch two of the quarter-finals this Saturday and Sunday (June 23 & 24) at The Buckhorn in Boonville. Both kick-off at 11.45am and with the big festival just down the street I would expect quite a large crowd to take a break from the music and watch a little of the world’s game with some hot wings and a few cold beers… #127 – This Saturday and Sunday will also see the monthly Barn Sale at The St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory from 9am to 3pm each day on A.V. Way just north of Boonville… #128 – The monthly I.C.W. (Independent Career Women) gathering is a week from today - Wednesday, June 27. Call Sandra at 895-9020 for details… #129 – And finally this week, it’s an early-ish heads-up for this year’s PawFest – the annual fundraiser for the Anderson Valley Animal Rescue. PawFest 2012 will take place on Sunday, July 15 at the A.V. Brewery and will once again feature a bbq by the Lions Club, live music with the Peanut Butter Jam Band, beer and wine, raffle, silent auction, dog demonstrations, and much, much more…

       It’s been a quiet week around the 3-Dot this week and all I have for you is this ‘deep analysis’ of an aspect of Valley life from our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard…

       “‘I am very aware that living in a small community has many pro’s and con’s. This week I wanted to share one of the latter with you. One of the problems is that people can relatively quickly get on each other’s nerves – ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ is a phrase that comes to mind. While ‘contempt’ is too strong a word for the people I have in mind, I have come up with a few key monikers to apply to some of the folks we have to tolerate socially in and around the Valley who, as a group, would come under the title ‘Annoying Valley Dwellers’ – the A.V.D.’s…”

       “There are basically five types… 

1. The Self-Obsessed Bachelor / Bachelorette, or S.O.B.’s to give them a useful and appropriate acronym. These are the friends most of us have who are single and have become self-indulgent to such a degree that they lose all sense of social and personal etiquette when they are with you. They rarely want to talk about anything except themselves, and think only about what is best for them, not caring about you and your ‘less important’ issues. They are simply not used to having to answer to anyone else and expect to do whatever they want to do without compromise. We normally stick by them of course, after all we loved them before they became S.O.B.’s, and we hope they ‘find the way’ either alone or with a partner. Nevertheless, they push us to the limit. For a full list of such characters check out… (continued on page 64)... 

2. The Cappers – those who, having listened to you for a few minutes at the most, have to ‘cap’ your tale/news with a similar tale/news of their own that takes much longer to tell and, more often than not, is quite boring if the truth were told. Nevertheless, they just have to grab a little limelight whenever they can, always lecturing, unable to just listen and converse. For a full list of such characters check out… (continued on page 74)... 

3. The Interrupters, in less polite company these are often called ‘The Rude Bastards’. They are acquaintances that come up to you when you are clearly involved in a private conversation with someone and just stand next to you. You obviously will courteously acknowledge them but they do not go away even when your personal conversation resumes. What is their problem? Fortunately I cannot think of many of these particularly annoying people although I do have one or two in mind. For a full list of such characters check out… (continued on page 84)... 

4. The Prompters – those who ask you a question with apparent sincerity only to jump in after a few seconds or so and deliver a lengthy monologue about the topic they had prompted you with. It was all a ruse to get to talk about their experience and themselves. For a full list of such characters check out… (continued on page 94)… And last but certainly not least… 

5. The Know-it-Alls – those who pontificate endlessly and self-righteously about many different topics. There are many of these around the Valley but perhaps the one we all know to be one of the most annoying of them all is the Turkey Vulture – what an Annoying Valley Dweller that curmudgeonly bastard is, between you and me, of course!” 

       “I realize that dealing with such people in a social situation is one small part of the human experience, and that most of us have such people in our lives. However, they often have many good qualities too. In fact they are often our friends. Nevertheless, I do wish there was a way of making this aspect of their personalities go away - please forward ideas to moaningoldbuzzard@apocalypseapproaching.org”

       After such a tirade of nonsense, I have asked the Old Buzzard to get his coat and leave… To the rest of you, I say, ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

p.p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace...