# 372 - September 18th, 2013

Greetings one and all – if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… Well – what a fun weekend that was! The County Fair was once again a very enjoyable event and virtually everyone I spoke with seemed to agree. However, it appeared that numbers were down significantly on Friday, when both high school sports teams - soccer and football - were victorious, and perhaps Saturday was a little off too from what I could tell. As for Sunday, it was difficult to tell as the Sheep Dog Trial was packed and it appeared that many folks stuck around to enjoy the rest of the Fair following the Trial’s happy conclusion – a second successive victory for the Valley’s own 10-year old Border collie Bren, with her handler and Master Shepherd, Kevin Owens from Yorkville… See more Fair ‘stuff’ below…

       Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #381 – The next visit to the Valley by the vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital is tomorrow, Thursday, September 19. They will offer a full service featuring house calls in the morning and your entire vet needs from 2pm to 3.30pm in the afternoon at the A.V. Farm Supply. Call 462-8833 for further details and if you are a previous client you can call them 48 hours in advance to ensure that your pet’s charts are brought ‘over the hill’ and also order any medications your pet might need. New customers and their pets are always welcome. I do not have their scheduled visits for October at this time… #382 - Flu shots are available on Tuesday Sept 24 from 5pm to 6pm at the Senior Center courtesy of the physicians and nurses from the pharmacy at Rite Aide – you know it makes sense. Appointments are not necessary and you can call 895-3609 for further details...

       As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community Lunches and Dinners next week at the Senior Center in the Veterans Hall in Boonville… The Center suggests a $6 donation from Seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-Seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, September 19, the lunch, always served by Marti Titus and her crew at 12.15pm, will be Steak Pizzaiola, Pasta, Broccoli, Ferro Salad, with Black Berry Ice Cream dessert … Then next Tuesday September 24, in the evening at 6pm, the dinner will feature Chicken Pot Pie, Tabbouleh salad, Broccoli salad, Orange Gelatin Salad, and Apple Cake for dessert… This is also ‘Game Night’ so bring your favorite one along… And remember, all ages are welcome!... Hope to see you there…

       Nothing much to report from the Three-Dot Lounge this week as most of us spent all of our time at the Fair. However, you should be aware that a betting pool has started amongst regulars to see who can correctly guess the number of tourists in the month of September whom I spot pulled off on to the shoulder of Hwy 128 between Boonville and Navarro feverishly picking raspberries as I fly up and down the Valley. Bonus points are available to those who also guess the number who are in a thicket of poison oak as they unsuspectingly gather their ‘amazing’ find...

       And that leads very nicely into the Quote of the Week, this time from the brilliant mind of Irish playwright and socialist, George Bernard Shaw. Incidentally he is the only person to win both a Nobel Prize (for Literature in 1925) and an Oscar (Best Screenplay in 1938 for ‘Pygmalion,’ later ‘My Fair Lady’) – now you know and can impress friends! But I digress - G.B.S. wisely noted, “Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich – something for nothing.” Meanwhile, with two weeks to go, it’s 11 raspberry pickers, of which 4 were in poison oak...

       From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard comes this year’s ‘Fair Notes’… ‘This is far from a review, and perhaps that has been done elsewhere in the newspaper. This is more a scatterbrained report of what I can remember. Here we go… The Sam Prather dinner for exhibitors was a big success according to Fair Board member Morgan Baynham – even though they had run out of chicken when I arrived there at 8.30pm, following a thoroughly enjoyable hour or so in the livestock pens catching up with many of my four-legged friends; the liveliest hangout for many was the side-by-side ElderHome and Chamber of Commerce booths, serving wine and A.V. Brewery beer respectively – I spent time in this vicinity on all three days, although the scene at the Lions Club beer booth on Saturday evening was perhaps the biggest party of all; Sheriff’s deputies Walker and Espinoza reported a few minor incidents but overall it was a quiet event from their perspective; many folks shared with me their thoughts on the various food on offer, with Darrell’s sausages and grilled onions and the burgers from the Volunteer Firefighter folks tying at the top of the list; pizza and the baskets of Kurly fries (about the size of the average newborn child) were better than expected and the corn dogs impressed many, particularly the bacon-wrapped jalapeno variety – not a bad way to die, I thought, as I watched Turkey Vulture devour his 17th one – a new Fair record by the way...’

‘… A couple of folks had mildly critical things to say that may have some validity so I shall share them here and perhaps the Fair Board will see if any can be resolved… No beer available to folks who wanted to watch the high school sports games. Apparently ‘we can’t have the beer near to the kids’ - a change that was introduced a few years ago after a complaint was received and thus ended a tradition of many years standing. As if the kids do not see beer and wine being sipped at other times. Just don’t serve the kids - what is the problem here?... The Parade of Champions taking place at 6pm on Saturday – a time when the Fair is not that busy and so we get the ‘Best in Fair’ winners parading in front of far fewer folks than they deserve… A noticeable decline in the number of exhibitors in both the agriculture and craft buildings and the livestock barns – what can be done to boost this back to the numbers of a few years ago?... For those many folks who wondered why there was no Coors Lite available anywhere, the answered was provided by Fair Board member Bill Holcomb – Budweiser give more money to the Fair. If Coors want to get back in they will need to increase their offer – sounds fair to me… The parade was very late for reasons unknown and it was not very big – I have no idea what can be done about this... Talking of which, I chatted with D.A. David Eyster and County Sheriff Tom Allman who rode in the aforementioned Parade together and thoroughly enjoyed themselves, although the Sheriff was once again bamboozled, or is it bamboobled, by the Large-breasted Boonville flasher. I spoke with the Flasher later and she said, “I think he understands by now – it’s what I do!”…’

       On that note, I will offer my gratitude to the Buzzard for his Fair recollections and take my leave… ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through  the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace…

p.p.p.s. Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is…