# 387 - January 1st, 2014

Greetings one and all – if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… As we enter the New Year I believe we should acknowledge a couple of very special folks her in the Valley - our most senior of seniors. The oldest Valley resident is 95-year old Freda Fox (born in 1918) who will be turning 96 in March, while our second eldest resident is Ross Murray (also a new born baby of 1918), who in September of this year will turn 96 years young… Long may they ‘reign!’…

      With a more somber tone here are the Valley folks who are no longer with us; those Valley Folk who have moved on to the Big Valley in the sky in the last year or so... Harold Perry, who at 96 years old was the oldest Valley resident at the time of his passing in January 2013…… Henry Hill…… Brian Blumberg…… Raul Malfavon…… Each gone but not forgotten…

      And for your Quotes of the Week, here are some appropriate and heart-warming thoughts on the passing of loved ones... First, are these words from Helen Keller, the deaf/blind author, political activist, and lecturer, who said, “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us”... And there is this wonderful thought proposed in an Eskimo Legend – “Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy”... And finally, the anonymously written but poignant, “Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near; still loved, still missed and very dear”...

      Next up  a few personal hopes and dreams for the Valley in 2014…

- The small choice in toilet tissue sold at the local stores will be enlarged so as to include the really strong stuff that myself and The Four-eyed Woodpecker, to name just two, require to complete our daily ablutions satisfactorily, and thus avoid the ‘internal self-examination’ we currently seem to have to go through every morning…

- All herky, jerky, whirling, twirling, hippy dancing, whenever and wherever it breaks out in public, will be halted by concerned residents. Obviously this does not apply to the few rhythmic female movers and groovers and belly dancers, but it certainly does to the other 90% who make up this odd group…

- Anyone, anywhere in public, starting a sentence with “You should” will be fined $1 on the spot. All monies going towards the Christmas Tree Fund…

- All attendees at Pot Lucks in The Valley must bring a dish or alcohol large enough to feed or quench the thirst of at least eight guests. A stick of celery/ day-old bread/two beers will no longer suffice…

- When some people are asked a question about something they know nothing or very little about, they should be encouraged to say, “I don’t know”. That is o.k. and is a very acceptable response is such instances. It will also save everyone lots of time. 

- All drivers shall follow the rules of the road. That most definitely includes California Vehicle Code # 21656 – ‘Slower vehicles must pull over to allow others to pass’. No driving over 60mph anywhere; no driving under 40mph in the 55mph limit without pulling over in the many turnouts. Of course driving at 30mph or less in town is to be strictly enforced. Any non-residents breaking these guidelines will be forced to wear a neck brace in public for three months. A second offence and they will be locked up in solitary confinement for a week with nothing to read except the C.V.C. Book. A third offense will result in them being "dealt with" by my associates and then fed to the pigs…

- No more ego-vineyards are allowed. Particularly if it is to be owned by a wine-guzzling know-all who assumes they can make wine just because he/she has made their millions in an entirely different expertise, is living in some far flung location, who has never lived here, and who wouldn’t know a wild hog if it bit him in the ass or a Turkey Vulture if it defecated on his head…

       Onward… Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #120 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be in town at the A.V. Farm on two occasions in January 2014 - Thursdays, Jan 16 and 23. Call 462-8833 for further details. New customers and their pets are always welcome… #121 - One for your new calendar - it’s some time off but on Saturday, February 15 at The Grange in Philo, the A.V. Education Foundation will present their 2014 marquee event - “Heads-Up - Back by Popular Demand” featuring stars of film, television, and stage - Valley resident René Auberjonois and his good friend Howard Hesseman. These two appeared here for the same cause a couple of years ago in what was a wonderful evening of entertainment and now have a new ‘set’ that they will be presenting exclusively for the Valley, the profits from which will go to high school student scholarships. More details to follow…
       … And remember, the Valley will have the two extremely popular annual crab feeds in the first few weeks of the New Year... The Crab Feed to benefit the A.V. Senior Center will be held in the Apple Hall on Saturday, January 18... And then there is the Original Crab Feed scheduled for Saturday, February 1, also at The Apple Hall in Boonville. To get tickets, contact organizers Gina Pardini at 895-3609 for the big night out on January 18 and Gloria Ross at 895-3071 for the feast on Feb 1. Remember - both events sell out every year…

       As a bonus P.S.A., I can announce that the Senior Center at the Veterans Hall in Boonville will re-open for lunch next Tuesday, January 7 following the holiday break… The Center asks for a $6 donation from Seniors for lunches and charges $7 for Non-Seniors. The first lunch of 2014, served by Marti Titus and her crew at 12.15pm, will be Meatloaf, Mashed Potatoes w/ Gravy, Green Beans, Rolls, Quinoa Salad, and Birthday Cup Cakes for dessert … Remember, all ages are welcome!... Hope to see you there…

      And as we are at the start of a new year, how about catching up with the days and times of various Valley events, functions, groups and organizations?... Every Tuesday and Saturday it’s The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club. Tues 1.30pm – 4.30pm and Saturday 2pm – 4pm at The Fairgrounds… Every Saturday and Sunday, The A.V Museum is open from 1pm to 4pm… Every Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday, The County Dump on Mountain View Road is open from 9am – 4pm... Every Tuesday and Thursday – the Senior Center Lunch is at 12.15pm with the 2nd Tuesday featuring Dinner and Bingo 6pm and 7pm respectively, and the last Tuesday it’s dinner at 6pm... The 3rd Monday sees the Lions Club meeting at The Grange at 7pm… The 3rd Tuesday it’s the Grange Meeting at The Grange, also at 7pm… And finally for now, on the 4th Wednesday, one of my favorite groups – Independent Career Women (I.C.W.) – meets somewhere for a splendid evening of wining, dining and conversation - call 895-3069 for details…

      So, until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”…

Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace…

p.p.p.s. Keep on wagging that tail, Fred…

p.p.p.p.s. Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is…

p.p.p.p.p.s. Keep on humming, Hummingbird…