# 399 - March 26th, 2014
Greetings
one and all – if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… The Old
Buzzard is particularly ornery this week, along with many other Valley folks,
and justifiably so. He has much to say so let’s get the Public Service
Announcements (P.S.A.’s) out of the way first and then invite him to speak…
Calendars
and pens at the ready… # 986 - RESDA’s
(Redwood Empire Sheep Dog Association) first sheep dog trial of the year takes
place this Saturday, March 22 at the Johnson Ranch at the corner of Hwy 128 and Hwy 123
just south of Boonville. Members of the public are welcome and the action gets
started around 9.30pm and will go for three or four hours so feel free to stop
by at any time and watch humans and dogs working together as good as it gets…
#987 - The Winemaker dinner to benefit the A.V. Housing Association is on
Saturday, March 29. This will be at Scharffenberger Cellars at 6.30pm. Call
895-3525 for more information… #988 - The Community Singing at Lauren’s is also
this coming Saturday, March 29 at 8.30pm. Go along and sing-along - you will
know lots of the songs - I guarantee it!... #989 - The Barn Sale returns in
less than two weeks time for its usual spring, summer, and fall run after a
four-month hiatus. This takes place at The St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church
Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville from 9am to 3pm on both Saturday
and Sunday, April 5 and 6… #990 - The Vets will not be making any more visits
to the Valley this month. However, they will be here on two Thursdays next
month - April 10 and 24…
O.K.
now let’s discuss both the Winery and Whinery News in tandem, as reported by The
Old Buzzard for his weekly column ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’ …
“I
am writing this in a sleep-deprived state of anger… The Valley is in uproar.
Everybody is talking about it. I refer to the noise pollution produced by the
fans used at various wineries to protect their vines against frost. ‘Is that a
helicopter landing in my yard’ is the most common question heard around the Valley
since ‘When is someone going to feed Ken Allen to the pigs?’ Many further
comments are all over Facebook as local folks have being kept awake, night
after night, for the past week or so.
“For
us up at The Nest in the Deep End we have been talking about this problem for a
number of years and now that Valley folks in other parts further inland are
being affected it is finally getting the attention and criticism this practice
deserves. Turkey Vulture and I have long protested the anti-social and self-serving
actions of Golden Eye Winery, our local branch of minions to the Duckhorn
Dynasty and I have had many folks talk to me about this over the past week or
so and it shows no sign of abating.
“The
vines have recently had ‘bud-break’ and the frosty nights are with us. The
result of this combination is that certain wineries are turning on their
helicopter-like fans for several hours every night and in certain areas of the
Valley sleep is near impossible. One of the worst offenders, yet again, is the
aforementioned Golden Nose Winery, whose Narrows Vineyard just south of
Floodgate has the loudest fans of all - and I say that not just because they
are less than a mile from The Nest where Turkey Vulture, Hummingbird, myself,
and others of our ilk reside. The fans at the Narrows are acknowledged by
anyone who has heard them to be the loudest in the Valley. In fact, even folks
in-the-know at the Golden Mouth Winery have admitted to this!
“It
should certainly be pointed out however that this year they are not the only
ones committing this anti-social ‘crime.’ This past week has also witnessed
sleepless nights endured by folks in the heart of Philo and even Boonville,
courtesy of vineyards in those parts of the Valley who shall remain nameless
for others to mention elsewhere. The best way of protest is to call in at the
tasting room of your nearest offender and collect your earplugs and case of
wine that they are surely handing out free of charge as some sort of peace
offering for their invasive behavior.
“Having
starting out in the Valley a decade or so ago under a cloud of corporate
irresponsibility you’d think Golden Ear would try to avoid such ill-feeling. In
fact at times in recent years they have reached out and somewhat ingratiated
themselves to the community. But, no - here they go again… And I’m not even
going to mention their past indiscretions such as desecrating historic Native
Indian sites or their other recently reported ‘misdemeanor’ of taking water
from the local creek that has little water - protested against by former A.V.A.
editor David Severn outside the winery gates just a week ago. I am talking
about a particularly Machiavellian winery here, and I don’t care if it means I
have to forego my tipple of their splendid Pinot as a form of protest, one
which I urge you to join me and others in making…
“Whilst
most wineries now use water for frost protection, Golden Neck continue with
these fans at this particular vineyard, although they have said they will
replace them in the next year or two with water from the reservoir they
recently installed - filled up with water from an almost dry creek perhaps? In
the meantime, for the many folks having to endure this severe noise pollution,
it is a case of ‘deal with it.’ As for those annoying people who say it is just
part of living in an agricultural area - give me a break. These folks either
work for the wineries in question or do not live within the range of the noise
pollution or they would not be uttering such gibberish. Surely the wineries
have a morale obligation to have as little affect on their neighbors as
possible and this act of selfishness is far from achieving that. Besides, I am
reliably informed that while they have some rights under the law, they are not
allowed to add fans wherever they wish and if it’s deemed that such an addition
has led to an unreasonable situation then local residents also have rights.
“The
main point is that there are alternatives. They may cost money but if anyone
has plenty of that it is Golden Wallet / Duckhorn and the other offending
wineries. A case of the wine produced at The Narrows goes for $960! Yes, $80
for a bottle of their 2010 Pinot. What a joke! We local residents are trying to
get some hard-earned sleep and they get $80 a bottle for preventing us from doing
so! Do I really have to go and picket the home of Dan Duckhorn, the almighty
leader at Duckhorn Wines and its subsidiary here in the Valley - Golden Ass,
and play my Black Sabbath collection at full volume in the middle of the night
to get a little understanding?
Before
I finish with this particularly disturbing ‘Sign that the Apocalypse is
Approaching,’ I should share with you the following statement on Golden
Scrotum’s web site that is dripping with unintended irony… ‘The diverse
population and landscape of the Mendocino coast of California provides the
winery with a remarkable amount of opportunity to make a difference in our
local community.’ I couldn’t possibly comment other than to say, ‘Pass the sick
bag, Bruce.’
“Apparently
the Narrows Vineyard does not produce many grapes so one could be forgiven for
suggesting they just pull them up and re-start with a neighbor-friendly frost
protection system installed. However, the powers-that-be at Golden Penis have a
high regard for the Pinot Noir produced at The Narrows and of course at the end
of the day that is the most important thing so what do they care? Well, perhaps
they could consider turning on the fans at a lower temperature, say 25 degrees
instead of 28? Or even just leave them off all together and see what happens.
This kind of thinking is probably not the kind they like and as Mr. Dan
Duckhorn enjoys a deep sleep in his mansion many miles from the Valley it is
probably the last thing on his mind. However, if anyone wishes to call him to
let him know how his or her sleepless night is going, his home number is…
(Continued on page 74)…
Very
interesting and informative, Buzzard. I hope you have success with your
protest. I too shall be boycotting Golden Eye wines and urge readers to do so
also until something is done to reduce the effects of the distressing current
situation… Meanwhile, for your Quote of the Week, let’s go with some classics
on the role of big business and corporations in society. First, this
observation by Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887), the American Congregationalist
clergyman, social reformer, and speaker, known for his support of the abolition
of slavery, who said, “The commerce of the world is conducted by the strong,
and usually it operates against the weak”… Even industrialist Henry Ford
(1863-1947) - yes that Henry Ford, weighed in with a momentary thought of
altruism when he commented, “A business that makes nothing but money is a poor
kind of business”… The Irish novelist, Oliver Goldsmith (1730-1774), observed,
“Honor sinks where commerce long prevails”… But perhaps the most meaningful of
them all are these words from one of the great men of history, Mohandas K.
Gandhi (1869-1948), who so very wisely, yet fairly, stated, “It is difficult
but not impossible to conduct strictly honest business. What is true is that
honesty is incompatible with the amassing of a large fortune”…
Oh,
dear, have we upset somebody? Should I get my coat and leave? No - not likely
with all the folks who support the Old Buzzard on this issue. See you on the
picket lines!... Until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there;
stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh,
and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture……
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse
either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>
p.p.s. Skylark – read any good books lately?
p.p.p.s. Keep on humming, Hummingbird…
p.p.p.p.s. Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it
is…
posted by Turkey Vulture @ 9:01 AM
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