# 412 - June 25th, 2014

Greetings one and all – if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… There is a rumor spreading around town that the location which was the former home of The Boonville Lodge in central Boonville is soon to re-open as an up-market shoe store. Apparently, property owner and #1 on the Valley’s Most Wanted List, Dave “I’m not greedy’ Johnson, is in negotiations with a couple of San Francisco gentleman who feel there is a need for high-end alligator-skin shoes, crocodile-skin boots, and lizard-skin moccasins etc. These fellows have a secret source for such materials and feel the Valley is the ideal place for their enterprise. We shall see...

       This may be true or perhaps it is simply gossip. Either way, let’s have some appropriate comments on both ‘truth’ and ‘gossip’ for your Quote of the Week… First we have this from Antoine Rivarol (1753-1801), a Royalist French writer during the Revolutionary era, who observed, “Of every ten persons who talk about you, nine will say something bad, and the tenth will say something good in a bad way”… Also on gossip we have these words from social commentator Will Rogers who wrote, “The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them”… And here’s one about ‘truth’ from Mark Twain who commented, “Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it”… And here’s another one - from Winston Churchill, who remarked, “Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened”… Here’s the final two - one on each side… From author/philosopher Henry David Thoreau we have “Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth”… But perhaps most pertinent to the new shoe store in town, let’s turn to Kin Hubbard (1868-1930) the American cartoonist, humorist, and journalist who wisely observed, “There isn’t much to be seen in a small town, but what you hear makes up for it”…

       Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #744 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be visiting the Valley tomorrow, Thursday, June 26. As always the venue and times are the A.V. Farm Supply from 2-3.30pm. New customers are always welcome and for those who have been before you can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts. Their next visit will be in July on Thursdays 10 & 17… #745 - The next in the Guest Chef series of events to benefit the Senior Center is this coming Saturday, June 28 with a happy hour at 5.30pm followed at 6.30pm by a Texas-style bbq by chef David Knight. The menu will feature Fresh Green Salad, Delicious Barbecue Ribs, Texas Style Chili, Hot Buttered Sweet Corn, Crispy French Bread, Brownies and Ice Cream, with Local Wine and Beer. $30 tickets include your dinner and one drink, plus your donation. Get your tickets early as only 60 will be sold at the Senior Center 895-3609, Lemons Market, Rossi’s Hardware, or AV Market… #746 - Later that evening, on Saturday June 28 at 8.30pm, it’s the monthly Community Sing-along at Lauren’s Restaurant… #747 - The Mendocino Bookmobile is in town next Tuesday, July 1. They are in the Valley on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am; the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. The Bookmobile is then off the road from July 15-18 so their next visit to the Valley will be Tuesday, July 29. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #748 - The Old Time 4th of July Celebration will take place at The Fairgrounds in Boonville on Friday, July 4 from noon to 4pm. Adults $4 and Under 18 free! This event will benefit the A.V. Education Foundation and will feature the Red, White, and Blue Parade at 12.30pm, followed by events such as the Crowing and Clucking Contest, a Cake Auction, the Tug O’ War, bbq sandwiches by the A.V. Lions, and much, much, more … #749 - The A.V. Historical Society and Museum presents a book-signing event on Sunday, July 6 at 2pm. This will feature co-authors, Valley old-timer Wes Smoot and my good friend Steve Sparks, who will be signing copies of their soon-to-be-published book ‘Then and Now - an Anderson Valley Journey’. Refreshments and snacks will be available and all proceeds from sales of the book will go to the Museum…

       As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week at the Senior Center at the Veterans Building in Boonville… The Center asks for a $6 donation from Seniors and charges $7 for Non-Seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, June 26, the lunch, always served by Marti Titus and her crew at 12.15pm, will be Oven Fried Fish, Oven Fries, Cole Slaw, Cornbread Muffins, Tabbouleh Salad, with Cake & Fruit Cup for dessert… Then next Tuesday, July 1, the menu will feature Meatloaf, Mashed Potatoes with Gravy, Peas & Carrots, Rolls, Quinoa Salad, with Birthday Cup Cakes for dessert... Remember, all ages are welcome!... Hope to see you there…

        Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (and surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in A.V. and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So I’ll put my pants on and continue…

... The Sierra Nevada World Music Festival took place here in Boonville for the 9^th successive year over this past weekend and I heard many positive reviews from a number of regulars. However, I’m sure some of our local eateries and places of libation are tired of listening to the myth that they benefit substantially from this self-contained event given its many food and drink vendors set up inside the Fairgrounds. Meanwhile, most Valley residents hunkered down in the hills and those around town invested in some top quality ear-plugs (apparently on sale at Golden Buttocks Winery now that their frost protection fans are no longer in operation and locals are once again able to sleep and have no need of such items). Having said that, I know of many Valley folks who did go to the Festival and had a great time, and found the kindness and friendliness ‘vibes’ at a very high level. Furthermore, any negative reviews, no matter how justified, should also take into account the undoubted joy given to many of the male population of the Valley by the sight of the young female festival-goers, with bare-midriffs, balancing hula-hoops on their gyrating hips that hypnotically circle around and around as if they were... (continued on page 74)...

… After hovering and observing such delightful scenes for a couple of days, I finally landed at The Buckhorn, Boonville, on Sunday afternoon and, along with about 100 others, watched some soccer live from the World Cup in Brazil - it was U.S.A. v Portugal in the second match for both teams. The crowd in attendance, mostly visiting for the Music Festival but taking a break to watch some soccer, seemed to have a great time and only one local left in disgust at the whole proceedings, muttering to himself as he left, “I f***in’ hate this s***”…I’m not sure whether he was referring to the soccer, the Festival, or his life in general - or perhaps all three…

… A regular at the Three-Dot mentioned that the S.A.N. (Senior Assistance Network), the local grass roots organization recently formed to help seniors in the Valley get assistance with various chores or circumstances, were looking for someone to help a Boonville senior with a few hours of weed-wacking every month at this time of year. In this particular case, the senior in question cannot afford to pay so the person will have to volunteer their time and any expenses they have. If there is anyone out there who can help, please call Steve Sparks, the S.A.N. Facilitator, at 353-0369… 

       Well now I think it’s time to take my leave, besides I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So, until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Poking and stroking but humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - extremely honored to have the 2nd tallest tree (343.6 feet) in Hendy Woods named after my ilk…

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. Skylark – read any good books lately?

p.p.p.s. Keep on humming, Hummingbird…

p.p.p.p.s. Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is…