# 441 - 14th January, 2015

Greetings one and all – if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… And let’s start off by wishing the following Valley folks hearty congratulations on their January Birthdays – Shirley Hulbert, Eva Johnson, Jim Nickless, Maureen Bowman, Vicky Centers, Gene Walker, Sue Davies, and Patrick Ford – ‘Many happy returns!’... Here’s one of my favorite comments about a related topic – birth. It comes from my old friend Bill Shakespeare who wrote a few decent plays about 400 years ago, and in perhaps his best tragedy, ‘King Lear’, he included the following line, “When we are born, we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools”... Difficult to argue with that, I’d venture to say...

       Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #917 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be in the Valley tomorrow, Thursday, January 15, and again in two week’s time on January 29. As usual, the venue and time is the A.V. Farm Supply from 2-4pm and new customers are always welcome. Previous visitors should be aware that they can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them - making this an even better service than it already is!… #918 - The first of the Valley’s two annual Crab Feeds in the Apple Hall at the Fairgrounds in Boonville will be held this coming weekend, on Saturday, January 17. Tickets ($30) for this event, that benefits the Senior Center and is organized by the hard-working Board, are on sale at the Senior Center (895-3609), A.V. Market, Rossi’s Hardware, or Lemons’ Market… In three weeks time, on Saturday, February 7, it will be Gloria Ross and her Crew presenting their event, ‘The Original Crab Feed’ on behalf of the Catholic Church. Tickets ($40) can be obtained from Gloria at 895- 3071, or at Lemons’ in Philo or All that Good Stuff in Boonville. Both events will sell out so you are advised to not leave it to the last minute!… #919 - Gardeners, farmers, and produce growers of all kinds, are asked to remember Food Bank days as a time to donate your extra produce. This is always the third Tuesday of every month, which on this occasion is next Tuesday, January 20. It will be greatly appreciated if you could please drop off on the Monday before, behind the Boonville Methodist Church. If you need someone to glean your produce to take to the Food Bank, contact Valerie Kim at valerie.h.kim@gmail.com or Denisse Mattei, the Food Bank director, at 895-3763… #920 - The Boonville Winter Market is every Saturday, rain or shine, in front of the Boonville General Store, 10-12:30. Come on down to Boonville and either sell or buy locally grown or made food or crafts. For more info, call Cindy at 895-2949. As a special treat, Bunny Bill will have onion and leek starts at the Market for the next two weekends, but whatever you do please avoid asking him to share his carrots - it might get very ugly if you do!...

       As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week at the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville… The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, January 15, the lunch, always served by Marti Titus and her crew at 12 noon, will be Spaghetti with Meat sauce and Carrot Cake for dessert… Then next Tuesday, January 20, the menu will feature Chicken Thighs with Kale and Texas Sheet Cake for dessert... All meals include vegetables, salad bar and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea or lemonade. Remember, all ages are welcome!... Hope to see you there…

       Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (and surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in A.V. and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So I’ll put my pants on and continue…

… Following last week’s clearly successful introduction of ‘Turkey Vulture’s Ideas for An Even Better Valley’ last week, The 3-Dot brain trust and myself met once again and have come up with two more brief and simple guidelines/suggestions for the Valley’s welfare in 2015. Here we go… 1. The small choice in toilet tissue sold at the local stores will be enlarged so as to include the really strong stuff that myself and The Four-eyed Woodpecker, to name just two, require to complete our daily ablutions satisfactorily and thus avoid the ‘internal self-examination’ we currently seem to have to go through every morning… 2. When people are asked a question about something they know nothing or very little about, they should be encouraged to say, “I don’t know”. That is o.k. - We can’t all know everything about everything, and this is a very acceptable response is such instances. Perhaps more importantly, it will also save everyone lots of time… (For last week’s suggestions see the end of column)…

… Several 3-Dot regulars remain disappointed, and a little hungry, because three Valley restaurants remain ‘closed for the holidays’ - Aquarelle, Stone and Embers, and Libby’s… However, The Buckhorn is open everyday except Tuesday, while Lauren’s is closed on Sunday and Monday only… The Hotel is open for dinner at the weekend and Coq au Vin Thursday thru’ Monday from 6pm each day

… The Yorkville Market has opened on Hwy 128 in the location where the Mini-Mart stood for many years - at mile-marker 41.29. The business is owned and operated by the Judson-Hale family and it’s a full service general store and deli with wine tasting also available. Family member Lisa Jackson Hole is the delightful young woman running the store on a daily basis and I urge locals to support this new Valley enterprise, particularly those in the High Roller region and any travelers on their way to Cloverdale and beyond…

… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “The increasingly influence of social media and other such internet tools that play a significantly large role in our everyday lives, and the resulting effects that this is having on those growing up in such a world, is quite possibly, I believe, going to lead to negative effects on society as a whole over the next few years or so. Sure, there are numerous benefits to be gleaned from the worldwide web; social media and the Internet in general certainly have much to offer, but, in my humble opinion, over time it is still not clear about whether or not they are going to be outweighed by the negative effects they have on the human condition. From the lack of filters that maintain privacy to a false sense of connections and lack of face-to-face interaction; from cyber-bullying among the young to the hacking of sensitive information that is held about each and every one of us; and from decreased productivity, whether at work, school, or leisure to the use of the internet in the world of crime and terrorism. The ‘jury is still out’ on the pros and cons and I would suggest that this statement alone, about such a major player in our lives, is yet another sign that the Apocalypse is approaching… Let’s hope I’m wrong…”

       Yes, let’s hope you are, Buzzard… I’m outta here; I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So, until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…

Last week’s suggestions for ‘Turkey Vulture’s Ideas for An Even Better Valley’ in 2015… 1. All attendees at Pot Lucks in The Valley must bring a dish or alcohol large enough to feed or quench the thirst of at least eight guests. A stick of celery/ day-old bread/two beers will no longer suffice… 2. Anyone, anywhere in public, starting a sentence with “You should” will be fined $1 on the spot. All monies going towards the Turkey Vulture Retirement Home Plan - we should make quite a bundle…

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. Keep on wagging that tail, Fred… Is that ‘lafter’ I hear, Carroll?... Keep up the good work, Round-eyed Robin…