# 449 - 11th March, 2015

         Greetings one and all – if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… First may I wish everyone a very happy St. Patrick’s Day for next Tuesday – the Irish, the Irish-Americans, the Irish Mexican-Americans, the Irish Native American Indian Americans, etc, etc, etc...       

       Talking of St. Paddy’s Day, as someone with many years of experience in the bar/restaurant business, as both host and patron, I believe I can say with some certainty that, apart from the obvious monetary rewards, it is not a pleasant day for those in such a line of work, nor is it for those just trying to have a few celebratory drinks and a pleasantly civilized time. In the past I have expressed critical opinions about the boorish actions of some people on New Year’s Eve but the worst night for such behavior surely goes to St. Patrick’s Day. This is not only an occasion for the poorest “amateur” drinkers to show their true colors but, unlike New Year’s Eve which is primarily an evening affair, many on St. Pat’s indulge in a long day of heavy imbibing well before the nighttime when the inevitable sloppy behavior becomes really obnoxious. Of course, this is mainly a ‘city problem’; little of this is seen in Anderson Valley and hopefully no such incidents will occur at the St Pat’s Dinner at the Apple Hall this coming Saturday evening, although that crowd can get pretty rowdy. Meanwhile, if you do come across any ‘anti-social’ acts being perpetrated then my advice is to simply ‘smile and walk away’ – after all nobody has ever achieved anything by trying to reason with a slobbering drunk. Trust me on this; you can thank me later...

       Inevitably we stay with the topic of drinking alcohol for your Quotes of the Week… First I share this from Miguel de Cervantes who said, “Drink moderately, for drunkenness neither keeps a secret, nor observes a promise”… Next we have an old proverb that I’ve always found quite satisfying - “There are more old drunkards than old doctors”… And of course it is not unexpected that Lord Byron should have observed, “Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication” (Byron died at the age of 36)… For the religious types amongst you, don’t worry if you feel that a little drinking on St Pat’s would be frowned upon, after all in the Bible we have in 1 Timothy, 5:23, “Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake and thane other infirmities”… And let’s finish with this from the Roman philosopher Seneca, who wisely observed, “Drunkenness is nothing else but a voluntary madness”… See you in the loony bin this weekend… Ha! Ha! Ha!

       Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready, now relax - we have several quite touchy, feely events coming up! Enjoy… #672 - It’s almost St. Patrick’s Day! The Senior Center Fundraising Corned Beef and Cabbage Dinner to celebrate the occasion is on Saturday, March 14 in the Apple Hall in Boonville, with a happy hour at 5.30pm and dinner served at 6.30pm. Among the refreshments available will be Green beer, Irish coffee, Margaritas, and a selection of local wines and beers, and as always there will be the popular cake/dessert auction. Tickets ($15 adults; $12 for kids 10 and under) are available at the Senior Center, A.V. Market, and Rossi Hardware. Call 895-3609 for further details… #673 - The A.V. Drumming Circle meets from 7pm to 9pm at The Grange on the second Wednesday of each month - that would be tonight! Call Rob at 895-3897 or Andy at 895-3020 for further details.... #674 - The Cuban singer-songwriter Marcos Pereda will be performing at Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville this coming Saturday, March 14. This presentation of soft Spanish style guitar, ‘poetry put to music,’ begins at 9pm and there is a suggested donation of $15… #675 - The Grange’s Pancake Breakfast was not on the second Sunday this month, but it will be on the third Sunday instead, that’s this coming weekend, March 15. It runs from 8:30-11am and prices range from $5-10 - kids through hungry folks, for a delicious, locally-sourced breakfast. Choices include pancakes (gluten free available), eggs, and bacon, with a choice of juice, tea or coffee included… #676 - Cannabis Therapy for Cancer is a free class taking place on March 15 from 1-4pm at the Caretaker's Garden on Lambert Lane in the heart of Boonville. Advanced registration is required. Call Wendy Read at 895-9074 for more details. She will cover how to use Simpson Oil, raw Cannabis, topicals, tinctures, Hemp seed, and other medicinal herbs…. #677 - The AV Foodshed 3rd Sunday Potluck will be that same day, March 15, but in the evening at The Grange beginning at 6pm… #678 - As previously mentioned, the Vets from Mendocino Animal Hospital will not be making a visit to the Valley until Thursday, March 26… And that’s your lot!... Or you could just drink beer on your deck and read a good book…

       As a bonus P.S.A., here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week at the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, March 12, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Stuffed shells, Green beans, Garlic bread, Farro salad, and Citrus Cranberry cake for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, March 17 also at noon, for St Patrick’s Day the dinner will feature, very appropriately, Corned beef and cabbage soup, rolls, Quinoa salad, and Irish cream chocolate cake for dessert… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. Hopefully you will be able to attend, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

       Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (and surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in A.V…. Actually, with the Variety Show last weekend and St Patrick’s this, it is all a bit much and the Lounge was consequently closed for the week.        However, this did not prevent the Old Buzzard from submitting some thoughts on one of his pet peeves so here is the latest in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’…”The frost protection fans are already a topic of conversation in the Valley and it’s only the first few days of March. At this point, I must say in all fairness, that those fans in the Deep End seem to be significantly quieter than last year, not even reaching a noise level of 1-helicopter on the Helicopter Index of Noise Polluting Frost Protection Fans.         

       “Perhaps they are in a different place; maybe they are not at full speed; or perhaps the wineries have reached into their deep pockets and bought new, quieter fans? I do not have an explanation at this time but if it is due to an effort to circumvent the noise by the wineries then they are to be heartily thanked… However, I have heard that some winery bigwigs, whose fans have been heard loud and clear recently, continue to think their fans are not a problem, believing that folks cannot really hear them and that, if they do, it is slight and not affecting their sleep. If that is actually the truth then they have little to worry about.

       “However, if you hear them and can’t sleep as a result, then there are a few options - if it is so loud that you cannot sleep then by all means call 911 - certainly do so if your ears are bleeding; the A.V. Winegrowers Association asks for your comments with a promise to return your call so you can leave them an appropriate message at 901-7441; the A.V.A. newspaper, in support of many local residents is taking legal action on this issue and they can be reached at 895-3016; or to actually register an official complaint call the County Planning Dept at 234-5650 and ask to speak with a code enforcement officer. If any of these actions are taken, you will hopefully be helping towards putting an end to this contentious issue which surely has a solution, even if it may possibly result in a few wineries making a coupe of dollars less than normal, relatively speaking of course…”

       I believe the Buzzard is merely expressing the thoughts of many local folks who were affected by the fans last year, and very likely this year too over the next month or so. He is simply giving them some options for expressing their concerns and in some cases their anguish and anger. I hope he hasn’t upset anybody? Surely not - well maybe among those who are not used to having their actions questioned... Oh, well, he and I will get our coats and leave. We’re fine with that - we have to see a man about a sheep anyway…

       So, until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - pleased in the knowledge that the old hare has returned safely to his burrow…

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. Keep on wagging that tail, Fred… Is that ‘lafter’ I hear, Carroll?... Enjoy cycling in the sun, Round-eyed Robin…