# 452 - 1st April, 2015

          Greetings one and all – if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… Any overly obsessed sports fans of the victorious S.F. Giants will be no doubt be happy to hear that they can wallow in the scent of the team’s recent successes whenever they feel like it - literally. Yes, the Giants have announced that throughout the 2015 season they will be selling a fragrance that smells like their stadium! The $25 perfume, given the name ‘Victory,’ features a whiff of oils used in various locations at AT&T Park, including the players' massage area, the fresh-cut outfield, and leather from boss Bruce Bochy’s dugout seat. Season-ticket holders will be given the first option to buy this unique item when the home opener is played on Monday April 13 against the Colorado Rockies. I guess winning the World Series three times in five years allows a team to entice the fans to show their support in whatever way they can… I look forward to smelling you!…

       As mentioned previously, a very special event will be held in the Valley on Sunday, April 12 at The Grange on Highway 128 beginning at 1.30pm. It’s the next installment in the series of Roundtable Discussions put on by the A.V. Historical Society to which you are cordially invited. Having previously covered the 1930s/40s in the first Roundtable back in 2012 and then the 1950s/60s during the second one held in the early spring of 2013, on this occasion it is the Valley of the 1970s that will be revisited. This will be done through the recollections of a lively and informative discussion panel comprising a dozen or so Valley folks featuring a mix of those who arrived here to start a new life at that time and who never left, with those of a similar age who were already living here during those years and who ‘welcomed’ the newcomers to the Valley at that time. It should be quite an enlightening occasion! This is the Society’s ‘big’ annual event and Valley residents of all ages and backgrounds are encouraged to attend what will surely be a fascinating afternoon of old Valley stories and memories as once again the Valley’s remarkable past is brought to life. Snacks and refreshments will be available along with a selection of Valley history books for sale. All proceeds will go to the A.V. Museum - a great Valley cause in my humble opinion…

       On to the rest of the Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #510 - The Boonville Big Band returns to Lauren’s Restaurant in Boonville on Saturday, April 4. The show begins at 9pm and the cover is $5… #511 - The annual Easter Breakfast and Egg Hunt at The Fairgrounds presented by the A.V. Lions to benefit the Teen Center is also this coming weekend. It runs from 8am-noon on, not surprisingly, Easter Sunday, April 5. The Egg Hunt begins promptly at noon for kids up to and including 4th-grade… #512 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley on Tuesday, April 7. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #513 - The A.V. Drumming Circle meets from 7pm to 9pm at The Grange on the second Wednesday of each month - that is a week from today, April 8. Call Rob at 895-3897 or Andy at 895-3020 for further details… #514 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have two upcoming confirmed dates when they will be in the Valley - Thursdays, April 9 and 30… #515 - Need a burn permit? You can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for details or stop by - you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this… #516 - The A.V Museum continues its spring hours of Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’…

       As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week at the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, April 2, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be the very popular first feast of the month - Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, peas, farro salad, with Birthday Cup cakes for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, April 7, the lunch will feature Chicken pot pie, rolls, broccoli salad, tabbouleh salad, strawberry spinach salad, and chocolate amoretto dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - maybe the best $7 you spend all week! Hopefully you will be able to attend, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

       Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (and surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…

... Many 3-Dot regulars were amused and maybe concerned by my story of flying over the Barn Sale Field beside Hwy 128 just north of Boonville last Sunday afternoon. As I observed below, I spotted two ‘shepherds’ wrestling with a number of sheep inside the corrals there. I continued on my journey downtown but, on my return through the Valley an hour later, I swooped down as the gentlemen were leaving, covered in mud, and clearly exhausted. They both spoke with English accents so my suspicions were obviously aroused. I asked them how their afternoon had gone and one sheepishly replied – ‘It went very well, thank you, but don’t believe a word those sheep tell you – this is a Valley where men are men and sheep are lying little buggers...’

... Rumors have it that as many as three, four, or perhaps even all five seats on the School Board may be up for election later this year. I cannot confirm this, and some of the numbers certainly sound a little far-fetched, but it’s what I’ve heard from a couple of sources so I guess we’ll see… No, no, no - thanks for your support but I couldn’t possibly run for such a position. Although if I did, and won, you can be sure I’d push for three immediate changes: more homework – two hours a night never harmed me in my junior and senior years at Bird of Prey Academy; more chickens laying those delicious eggs in the Ag. Department; and obviously squished-squirrel pie on the lunch menu... Obviously these forward-thinking ideas would all be up for discussion at the very first meeting...

... I must share with you a number of the Valley’s geographical developments reviewed at the 3-Dot in recent weeks… I am told that there is a ‘sub-suburb’ in Downtown Boonville that few folks are aware of. Most of you probably know by now that the east side of Hwy 128 stretching from Lauren’s Restaurant south to Mi Esperanza and the auto shop (ending just before the Ricard Building abomination that is the sub-suburb of Disgracefulville) is referred to in modern parlance as SoBo - for South Boonville. However, the west side of Hwy 128 over this stretch, from Rossi’s Hardware store to Donald Pardini’s wonderful old house, a few hundred feet to the south, has a different name. As those two places are homes to dogs called Duke, this small area is known as Dukeville - excellent, I like it... With both ‘Midtown’ Boonville (not to be confused with Midtown Manhattan) - running from the Post Office to Lambert Lane on the west and the A.V. Market to The Buckhorn on the east, and also ‘Uptown’ - stretching from the Boonville Hotel to the Drive-In on the west and The General Store building to Boont Berry and the caboose on the east, also coming under the all-encompassing name of ‘Downtown Boonville’, it would seem to suggest that in the heart of the Valley we’ve pretty much got a ‘metropolitan area’!... Ha! Ha! Ha!...

       Finally this week, for those of you who were already thinking of buying yourself a bottle of ‘Victory’ I must tell you that this was an April Fools’ Day story… Oh, dear, you’ve already tried to order some - please forgive me…

       Well now I think it’s time to take my leave… Besides I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So, until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - pleased in the knowledge that the old hare has returned safely to his burrow…

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at <turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net>

p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!... Bobwhite Quail - keep up the knitting!