# 490 - 23rd December, 2015

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… Merry/Happy Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzai/Holidays or whatever, and I hope you are coping with all of the razzamatazz, hype, and pressure that this event smothers so many of us with. Every year it seems to get more frantic. However, up here at The Nest we plan to have a relatively calm and very relaxing few days. In fact, as I have mentioned a number of times previously, let’s be honest, ultimately this whole celebration is only really for a couple of groups of people. As a result of spending many years in San Francisco as the only straight fellow on a construction crew of five, the rest of whom became good friends before all dying with AIDS over a five year period, I feel that I can state with a degree of authority that Christmas is primarily for the enjoyment of gay men - they certainly have the best Xmas parties. The other group is children, for all the obvious reasons, which I fully understand. Not that there is anything wrong with any of this of course -  I just don’t belong to either group anymore!?!…. Meanwhile, if you’re out Xmas shopping try to remember that I’m an XXL; otherwise fresh carrion is always good…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #544 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have no more visits this month but they will be at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, on two occasions next month -  January 14 and 21… #545 - Here’s a heads-up on the fact that the hours of business for the Valley’s two post offices on December 24 will be from 8.30am to 12 noon, and for some inexplicable reason they will both be closed all day on December 25… #546 - There is a fantastic opportunity to learn polyrhythms and dances of Guinea W. Africa from Amadou Camara, master drummer and gifted teacher and Mariah Soumah, previously with the National Ballet and Guinea Circus. The classes are weekly at The Grange on Tuesdays, except the third Tuesday of each month. The Drum class is 6-7pm $15, the Dance 7-8:30pm for $12; $20 if you do both… #547 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’…
    As a bonus P.S.A. in this spot I normally present the Community lunches and dinners that will be served over the next week in The Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. However, due to the holidays, The Center will be closed for lunch/dinner through Monday, January 4, 2016.  They will re-open for lunch on Tuesday, January 5, 2016…
    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
… Update from Crab Feed Central… Disappointment abounds - The Senior Center has cancelled their Crab Feed. This was scheduled for Saturday, January 16 and the decision to call off the event was made for reasons that were not explicitly explained to me other than that they ‘hoped the crab would be better next year.’ I was told this disappointing news late on the day that the newspaper went to print last week so this column, extolling the fact that there would be two Feeds, was already in print when I heard, and so no doubt many folks have been calling the Senior Center over the past week to get tickets that are not available… The good news is that there is excellent crab available and the intrepid Gloria Ross has tracked it down for the other Crab Feed - the original one - the one that benefits the Catholic Church. This will take place on Saturday, February 6 as planned. This is obviously excellent news, and she will have tickets available very soon - $45 for all ages. I shall keep you posted on any new information on this not-to-be-missed occasion…
… Several Three-Dot regulars have commented on what a lovely event the annual Christmas Carol Sing-a-long at Lauren’s Restaurant was. This featured a gathering of about thirty folks who belted out all the classics in fine style accompanied by pianist Lynn Archambault. Even a curmudgeonly Turkey Vulture like myself was beaming with joy (well smiling with contentment at least), although that may have been due more to the afterglow from the delicious Hot Turkey sandwich and mashed potatoes with a Chocolate Brownie Sundae for dessert, washed down with a couple of cups hot mulled wine…
... Not for the first time around here, and not for the last I’m sure, the conversation at The Three-Dot turned to the ‘luminaries’ who live here in the Valley. After skipping quite quickly through names of current residents (in some cases part-time) such as the Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Alice Walker (‘The Color Purple’), accomplished actor Rene Auberjonois, and Nobel Laureate Cary Mullis, inevitably the less celebrated, but perhaps equally famous or rather infamous, names of those who at one point lived here were discussed in greater depth. Many readers not from this area may not be aware of this but I am reliably informed that the list includes convicted killer Charles Manson (of the Manson Family) who lived in a cabin on Gschwend Road in the Christine Woods region during the early 1960s; Jim Jones of People’s Temple fame and a member of the A.V.H.S. faculty in the late sixties; convicted sex offender and kidnapper Kenneth Parnell, resident of Mountain View Road in the early seventies; serial killer Charles Lake, commune-dweller in Philo in the early eighties (just before embarking on his diabolical murder spree with Charles Ng in Calaveras County); and ‘Tree Frog’ Johnson, formerly of Boonville in the seventies, another infamous child abductor/abuser... I mention this because it is a topic that is quite often discussed around here and I certainly do not wish to make light of it. Obviously these days the Valley is an exceptionally friendly, harmonious, and community-minded place to live. However, these former ‘Valley People’, the perpetrators of some of the most heinous crimes imaginable, all once lived here and that fact is a small but unique part of the Valley’s history, albeit in a way that some choose to ignore. I’m sure, for example, that this information does not appear in the Chamber of Commerce’s literature when it really might be of interest to many - ‘Tours of Evil People’s Homes’ anyone?…

    Oh, dear, have I upset somebody? – I’ll get my coat and leave shall I?... That’s fine - I’ve got see a man about a sheep anyway… So, until we talk again – Have a wonderful Christmas and beyond; ’Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; be kind and show love to your pets; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Skylark – read any good books lately?… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is…