# 502 - 16th March, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… By the way, for those of you operating on ‘Deep Boonville Time’, the clocks went forward last weekend and I guess it’s about time you were made aware of this… Onward…
    It’s St Patrick’s Day tomorrow, March 17, and as someone who has had many, many years of experience in the bar/pub world, both as a host and customer, I feel that the Valley is a good place to be at such times. There will no doubt be a pleasant evening of imbibing to be had at The Buckhorn and perhaps some special ‘Irish’ food items available at restaurants around the Valley, but it will be a relatively civilized affair. Unfortunately this is not the case in many places. Of course, scenes of extreme drunkenness and boorish behavior are mainly a ‘city problem’ and little of this is seen here…However, if you do come across any anti-social acts being perpetrated then my advice is to simply ‘smile and walk away’ – after all nobody has ever achieved anything by trying to reason with a slobbering drunk. Trust me on this; you can thank me later...
    Meanwhile, here’s a bit of Irish logic to contemplate as you toast a ‘Happy St. Patrick’s to one and all’ – they are the thoughtful words of Irish ‘philosopher’ Brian O'Rourke who sagely observed, “When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.  When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!”… For a more thoughtful Quote of the Week, I feel it is perfectly appropriate to give you the wise words of the British social commentator and writer, Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) – “Nothing has been yet contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn”… I would venture to say that this is as true today as on the occasion he originally made this very astute observation...  

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #549 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have just one visit this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo - that’s just over a week away, from 2-3.30pm on Thursday, March 24. To avoid a line perhaps go around 3pm - you will definitely be seen. New customers and their pets are always welcome and previous visitors should be aware that they can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them - making this an even better service than it already is!…#550 -It’s time for the bi-annual visit of the HazMobile vehicle to Boonville. They will be here from 9am-1pm on Saturday, March 26 at The Fairgrounds in Boonville. Items accepted include motor oil, oil filters, antifreeze, gasoline, solvents, paint thinner, all paints, auto and household batteries, fluorescent light tubes, acids, pesticides, herbicides, and medicines. They do not accept explosives, ammunition, radioactive wastes, medical waste, and compressed cylinders larger than 5 gallons. They shall not be back in the Valley until October. However, the HazMobile facility in Ukiah is open every week at the following times and days - Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and the second Saturday of each month from 8am to 2pm at 3200 Taylor Drive, virtually opposite the junction of Hwy 253 with Hwy 101, on the other side of the freeway. For more information call 468-9704… #551 - Karaoke takes place on the third Wednesday of each month at The Buckhorn in Boonville - that’s tonight Wednesday, March 16, starting at 9pm… #552 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley on Tuesday, March 22. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #553 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’…   
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, March 17, not surprisingly, the lunch served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Corned Beef and Cabbage soup with Irish Cream Cake for dessert… Then, next Tuesday evening, March 22 at 6pm, the dinner will feature Citrus Cod and Triple Lemon Dessert… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best deal you’ll find all week!… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays at the same time it is the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
… The Mendocino County Museum Road Show returns to the Anderson Valley Grange on Friday, March 25, at 7:30pm, bringing the county’s history to the stage with new true stories and songs! Hear remembrances of picking hops, recipes for old home remedies, drinking stories and scintillating tales from local houses of ill repute… Tickets are $15 adults; $12 youth (20 & under) and seniors (65+). Youth under-12 discouraged from attending. For tickets and more information, please visit www.MendocinoMuseum.org or call 459-2736…
… Well, they may not have yet reached the longevity of Lauren’s Restaurant’s recently much applauded 20 years, but Tom Towey and his crew at The Buckhorn, Boonville, certainly deserve credit upon reaching their Fifth Anniversary. After Tom had fought through the ridiculous red tape and mind-boggling bureaucracy of Mendocino County over a period of six months just to open a pub/restaurant, he finally opened the doors on St. Patrick’s Day 2011. He has since provided employment for many Valley folks and continues to be the only place in the Valley that is a proper bar/pub, a place where you can get, to mention my personal highlights, a Martini, well-made cocktails, a real draft Guinness, Huevos Rancheros, a delicious brunch, and the best spicy wings and blue cheese dressing west of the Rockies; and so much more… Well done, Tom, and thank you on behalf of the many satisfied customers…
… The book I am currently reading (most Turkey Vultures are avid readers, in case you didn’t know) is about the founding of the U.S. Navy and various other aspects of U.S. history around the late 1790s and early 1800s. One thing, among many, that stands out is the wisdom, insight, intelligence, dignity, and sophistication of people such as Washington, Adams, Hamilton, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, and Franklin… It puts the current horrendous assortment of candidates competing to lead this country to absolute shame; an awful group of blowhards to which the word ’presidential’ is one of the least appropriate terms that can be applied…  
… ‘Dirty’ water in the wells of Boonville? Given what a number of Valley folks believe has been deposited into the Valley’s creeks, streams, and general watershed over the years, I am not particularly surprised…
… Last Saturday evening, along with several other Three-Dot customers, I attended the annual St Patrick’s Day Senior Center Fundraiser Dinner and Cake Auction that saw over 100 local folks gathered at The Apple Hall in Boonville for a delicious corned beef and cabbage dinner and much more… The cake auction that followed was a big success with a Bailey’s Irish Cream and chocolate dessert made by Senior Center cook, Marti Titus, breaking the record and fetching $265!… As always the hard-working Sr Center Board did a splendid job, ably supported by the volunteer F.F.A. students from the high school…

    I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep... So, until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on humming, Hummingbird… Missing the Venerable Pheasant everyday… On the sheep, Grace…