# 506 - 13th April, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    The Unpresidential Race for the Presidency: Chapter 7 - Satan is from Texas… Perhaps I have been remiss in that my recent comments about The Donald and his controversial campaign for the Presidency have resulted in the devil incarnate, Ted Cruz, escaping my Turkey Vulture wrath, rhyme, and reason. Let me address that… ‘TrusTed’ not only looks demonic, his comments and manner of speaking on many issues seem to me to suggest he is indeed possessed by a monstrous mix of Satan, Beelzebub, Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, the Evil One, and Old Nick too… Ted Cruz is no doubt every bit as vile, bigoted and hateful as Trump. None of his peers appear to like him - surely not a good quality… He’s not as big of a blowhard as The Donald, but then Trump is not a narrow-minded evangelical conservative like Cruz. ’Pastor’ Ted’s strategy rests on mobilizing alienated conservatives, in particular the millions of white evangelical Christians who, his team believes, can swing elections when they are galvanized to vote. Conversely his appeal to moderates is limited. Furthermore, he has had little to say to or about the poor. and his flagship economic policy is a regressive flat-rate income tax of 10%. Black Americans, Mexican Americans, gay Americans, anyone concerned about climate change (which he denies) or a woman’s right to choose, and non-Christians should all look elsewhere to place their vote. Cruz demonstrates little more interest in foreign alliances than he does in domestic ones; the only foreign leader he name-checks approvingly is Israel’s right-wing autocratic leader Binyamin Netanyahu. He evinces an unholy relish for “carpet-bombing” Islamic State and ‘making the desert glow,’ with little regard for the consequences or the innocent victims of ‘collateral damage.’ However, for some, perhaps the biggest reason for hoping he does not become President is that, according to those close to him, Cruz is a Texan “from his head to his boots” - seems like a good reason to me…Speaking of his boots, his lucky pair are made of ostrich skin - not the ‘presidential' look required when attending summits with other world leaders, unless of course the Brits arrive in bowler hats with umbrellas tucked under their arms, the French in berets on bicycles, the Muslim leaders in burqas (even if they are men), and the Germans goose-step into the meeting precisely on time… Onward…
   
    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #486 and #487 - Two busy weekends are approaching - on Saturday/Sunday, April 23/24 its the annual Wildflower Show presented by the Unity Club, with the 2nd Annual Goat Festival taking place alongside on the Saturday afternoon; and then the following weekend, on Saturday, April 30, it’s the 25th Annual Anderson Valley Beer Festival. Both events will take place at the Fairgrounds in Boonville… #488 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, on two occasions this month - the first of these is tomorrow, April 14 and then again in two weeks, on April 28. They are there from 2-3.30pm and to avoid a line perhaps go around 3pm - you will definitely be seen. New customers and their pets are always welcome and previous visitors should be aware that they can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them - making this an even better service than it already is!… #489 - As  mentioned last week, the ‘Second Wednesday Drumming Circle’ will be taking place at The Grange tonight, Wednesday, April 13 from 7-9pm. To confirm, perhaps call Andy at 895-3020…#490 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley on Tuesday, April 19. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #491 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’… #492 - The Food Bank is open from 8-10am on the 3rd Tuesday of each month - which is next Tuesday, April 19. Starting this month, they will also be open the Monday evening before (April 18) from 4-6pm. Gardeners, farmers and produce growers of all kinds, remember to donate your extra produce and drop it off on the Monday behind the Boonville Methodist Church. If you need someone to glean your produce to take to the Food Bank, contact Valerie Kim at valerie.h.kim@gmail.com. Denisse Mattei is the Food Bank director. You can reach her at 895-3763…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, April 14, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Stir Fry Chicken with Strawberry Short Cake for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, March 19, the lunch will feature Salisbury Steak with Noodles, plus Cherry Crisp for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week! Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays at the same time it is the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
… What a marvelous gesture! A local benefactor has stepped in and donated over $3500 so that the high school soccer program can replace their old dilapidated goals and nets with much-needed new ones. The successful program (five postseason titles in the last six years) was in danger of having to forfeit games in the fall if this vital but expensive equipment had not been replaced and it looked like money was not forthcoming from anywhere. Many people do not have the big hearts to match their bank balances but those that do are so important in communities like ours and we are very fortunate to have quite a few of them who live in and support the Valley…
… Hummingbird and I made our first visit to the ‘new’ Aquarelle and thoroughly enjoyed the delicious meal and a more informal and relaxed ambience than the previous version… With Chef Christina’s undoubted culinary expertise and host Satoru’s excellent front-of-house skills this well-located establishment should have a very busy summer… I certainly hope so…
… I often hear Valley people comment that too many Valley functions happen on the same night and folks frequently have to make a difficult choice. With this in mind, and as someone who spends what some miserable bastards might think is an unhealthy amount of time on the Valley ‘scene’ in one way or another, may I suggest that the event planners for our various restaurants, bars, organizations, and institutions start thinking about Friday evenings as a good night for their functions. You’re probably thinking ‘what is the Turkey Vulture smoking/drinking?’ But my ‘research’ shows that, apart from Tuesdays which, with few exceptions, has always been the slow night of the week in the hospitality business, the most under-utilized evening of the week for Valley events is, very surprisingly, Friday. Strange but true, and perhaps something to be aware of in your future planning… Just trying to help…

    I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on wagging that tail, Fred… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Tired of relaxing yet, Round-eyed Robin?