# 509 - 4th May, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… Mothers’ Day is this coming Sunday, May 8th. It is a day we have set aside to show our mothers our love, affection and appreciation. It’s a lovely thing of course but hopefully something we should strive to do every day. Unfortunately we often fall short in doing so… So in celebration, here are some Quotes of the Week with your mother in mind… Love you, Mum…
    “Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children” - William Makepeace Thackeray… “Motherhood: All love begins and ends there” - Robert Browning… “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” - Milton Berle… “All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his” - Oscar Wilde… “God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers” - Jewish Proverb… “A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest” - Irish Proverb… “A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts” - Washington Irving… “You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back” - William D. Tammeus… “There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it” - Chinese Proverb… And finally my own mother’s paraphrasing of an English poem - “You only have one mother, son. So cherish her with care. You’ll never know her value till you see her empty chair”…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #545 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have just one visit this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. That will be on Thursday, May 19… #546 - The first of the two Barn Sales this month will take place this coming weekend, Saturday, May 7, from 9am-3pm at The Big Barn next to the St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville. Just one day this time as Sunday is Mother’s Day. The Barn Sale will continue on its first and third weekend schedule on May 21/22…  #547 - This week, May 7, sees the Boonville Farmers’ Market moving to its summer venue in the parking lot at The Boonville Hotel from 10.30am-1pm every Saturday. For more info call Cindy at 895-2949… #548 - Need a burn permit? From 11am to 3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by - you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this… #549 - The A.V. Lending Library, run by The Unity Club, is open at The Fairgrounds on Tuesdays 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm… #550 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!… #551 - I am led to believe that the ‘Second Wednesday Drumming Circle’ will be taking place at The Grange on Wednesday, May 11, from 7-9pm. To confirm, perhaps call Andy at 895-3020… #552 - The Anderson Valley Grange is having its regular second Sunday Pancake Breakfast on April 10 from 8:30-11am. Prices range from $5-10 - kids through hungry folks, for a delicious, locally-sourced breakfast. Choices include pancakes (gluten free available, gluten extra is not served), eggs, and bacon, with a choice of juice, tea or coffee included…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, May 5, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be BBQ Tri-Tip with Birthday Cupcakes for dessert… Then, next Tuesday evening, May 10 at 6pm, the dinner will feature Lasagna and Boston Cream Pie Cake for dessert… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week!… As this is the 2nd Tuesday of the month, the dinner will be followed by Bingo at 7pm… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays it is Easy-stretch Yoga, also at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
… Valley ‘Carrion’ News… On May 1, Lauren Keating, after twenty years at the helm of Lauren’s Restaurant, began sharing the load with her new business partner, Natalie Matson, who has worked at the restaurant for the last year and who, many of you may recall from her previous time in the Valley, owned and operated The One Horse Espresso coffee wagon, worked at the Senior Center, and poured wine at the Husch Winery Tasting Room. Since she returned to the Valley a year ago, with husband Clay and their three fine young sons, Natalie has resumed her role as a Valley contributor in many other ways too, and currently serves on the School Board, organizes the Youth Soccer program, and is a long-time friend of mine and Hummingbird’s! We wish her and Lauren many years of wonderful success… The Bewildered Pig plans to open for Sunday Brunch thru’ the summer and the first such occasion is Mothers Day, this coming Sunday, May 8, from 10.30am-2.30pm… Libby’s Restaurant in Philo is currently open for Lunch 11:30am-2pm Tuesday, Fridays, and Saturdays, and Dinner 5-8pm, Tuesday-Saturday… The Buckhorn’s very popular brunch is served from 10am-4pm on both Saturday and Sunday… Stone and Embers, with Patrick Meaney working his magic in the kitchen and co-partner Matt Barnes doing what he does best (whatever that is?!), continue with their late Spring hours from 11.30am - 8.30pm, Friday-Monday… Geoff ‘This wine is like summer in a glass’ Thomas has returned to the Valley from his far eastern travels and once again has resumed his role as ‘barman extraordinaire and sweet-talking bastard’ at the Boonville Hotel. Welcome back, Geoffrey…
… The First Friday Film Club and Social Night is this Friday, May 6 at The Grange with the social gathering at 6pm and film to follow at 7pm… This month’s movie is ‘East Side Sushi’ which depicts the struggles of a Latina single mom who wants to become a sushi chef but who is the 'wrong' race and gender for that line of work as. Against all odds, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery, determined to not let anyone stop her from achieving her dream…
… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “There are low-life scumbags and nasty dickheads everywhere of course, but when their actions happen on your doorstep, particularly in relatively crime-free Anderson Valley, it never fails to deeply disappoint and disturb. Following last Saturday’s Beer Festival, many of the attendees at that event chose to spend the evening at various local establishments. Most behaved themselves. Unfortunately some did not and at least two different groups made surreptitious ‘runners’ out of one of our local business without paying bills, which together totaled well over $200… They were ‘smart’ in their methods, as one might expect of sleaze-balls from the City, but they will not get away with it again. However, if they should try to repeat their crime, myself and other local do-gooders will take of matters and have arranged for local ambulances to be ready to take these miscreants to hospitals ‘over the hill’ to get treatment for their injuries… Such retaliatory acts are of course sinking to these people’s level, but that is what happens when the Apocalypse is approaching… An eye for an eye, my friends…”

        Oh, dear, has the Old Buzzard upset those who think these common criminals should be dealt with in a more compassionate way? Too bad, but I’ll get him out of here anyway - he and I have to see a man about a sheep… So until we talk again – Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace… Keep on humming, Hummingbird… Missing the Venerable Pheasant everyday…