# 519 - 13th July, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… First, let’s have a ‘Thought for the Day’ - Isn’t is odd that he word ‘lisp’ has an ’s’ in it? Just wondering…
    With so much strife and dissension in today’s world, let’s begin with news of an event which takes us back to a simpler and more caring and harmonious society in so many ways… The Anderson Valley Historical Society and Museum will present their annual event on Sunday, July 17 at the Little Red Schoolhouse just north of Boonville on Highway 128/Anderson Valley Way. The annual meeting to share what is going on with the Society and its future plans will take place at 1.30pm, and will also feature the High School Computer Class’ Valley Cemetery mapping project. This will be followed at 2.30pm by an Open House that includes a discussion on the ‘Boontling’ dialect led by Wes Smoot and Rod DeWitt, two of the few remaining speakers of the language; along with tours of the Museum; further insights to the Boontling tongue via its connection to the A.V. Brewery; videos of old-timers talking Boontling; and finger foods, snacks, wine, and of course local beers… Local history books and other merchandise will also be available and all proceeds will benefit the Historical Society and Museum…

    Apart from the Historical Society’s special event, I should also mention, as I invariably do, a number of other upcoming events and happenings… Calendars and pens at the ready… #542 - The annual Beebe/Johnson Memorial sheep dog trial takes place this coming Saturday, July 16th at the Johnson Ranch at the junction of Highways 128 and 253 in Boonville. The first sheep are let out at 9am… #543 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will make two visits this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. They are trying to keep to a schedule of the first and third Thursdays and so the second of these will be on the third Thursday - July 21. (They will be here twice again next month - August 4 and 18)… #544 - The ‘Second Wednesday Drumming Circle’ is not taking place at this time. I will let you know when it resumes… #545 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues every Saturday in the parking lot of the Boonville Hotel, 9.30am-Noon. For more information, call Cindy at 895-2949… #546 - The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open on Tuesdays and Saturdays at The Fairgrounds - Tuesday 1.30pm-4.30pm and Saturday 2pm-4pm… #547 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!… #548 - The Food Bank is open from 8-10am on the 3rd Tuesday of each month - which is next Tuesday, July 19. They will also be open the Monday evening before (July 18) from 4-6pm. Gardeners, farmers and produce growers of all kinds, remember to donate your extra produce and drop it off on the Monday behind the Boonville Methodist Church. If you need someone to glean your produce to take to the Food Bank, contact Valerie Kim at valerie.h.kim@gmail.com. Denisse Mattei is the Food Bank director. You can reach her at 895-3763… #549 - The Far From Easy Living Fair (referred to by some as the Not So Simple Living Fair) will take place this year at the Fairgrounds in Boonville over the weekend of July 29-31…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, July 14, the lunch, served as always by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Sausage Skillet with Mudslide for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, July 19, the lunch will feature Oven Fried Fish and Banana Split Cake for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week!… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Easy-stretch Yoga, as part of the Active Life Club that runs from 10am to 2pm and which also features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    The Three-Dot Lounge remains closed until next week, so until then there will be no “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley… However, from our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, who rarely takes a break from his self-titled ‘investigative journalism,’ comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports…
    Several Valley folks, who have frequented The Buckhorn for many years, have commented on the request in last week’s ‘Vally People’ made by the ‘Owners and Tenants of the Farrer Building.’ This group was “respectfully requesting” that the staff and patrons of The Buckhorn cease to use the large parking lot area between the two buildings - theirs and the Buckhorn. The have the legal right to do so and one hopes this request can be agreed to without much discord and antagonism…
    Those making the plea are the same people, sometimes known as  ‘Offstreet Studio Management,’ who a year ago posted signs around the lot asking that the space be used as parking for, I quote, “Farrar Property tenants, patrons, and residents only” (spelling error of ‘Farrer’ made by the owners of said building). At that time, many Buckhorn customers expressed dismay at the postings, knowing that the space has been used by customers of that establishment and its predecessors for almost thirty years…
    According to the ‘Owners (J. Schmitt and associates) and Tenants of the Farrer Building,’ who crucially, but unknown to many, are now the sole owners of the lot, there continues to be a number of incidents involving vehicles belonging to Buckhorn patrons, plus a daily clear-up of trash being required after “late-night activities” by those patrons…
    This is no doubt frustrating to the Farrer Building/Boonville Hotel/Shed folks. Mosswood Market will be particularly aggrieved at the temporary loss of business as a result of one incident. Beyond the drama of the exaggerated frequency of these incidents as highlighted in the request, I have no doubt that there have been some such occurrences. I would agree that the parking is a little tight, but in all those years, over twenty of which I am familiar with, virtually everyone using the space, from both buildings, has maneuvered carefully. A very small number have not… I therefore humbly suggest that a large, easily visible sign be placed at the entrance, one clearly requesting that the parking lot is for the use of Farrer Building tenants and patrons only. This may just work, the signs inside the lot did not…        
    Recently, the ‘Owners and Patrons of the Farrer Building’ have spoken to Buckhorn owner Tom Towey asking for his support (I assume they spoke to the right guy, although according to their request in the newspaper it was made to ‘Tom Towie’ - clearly spelling is not their strong point). They have every right to do this and Tom’s staff have been parking elsewhere for some time. Hopefully patrons of the pub/restaurant will also comply but, as the adage goes, ‘old habits die hard,’ particularly around here, and it remains to be seen how this develops…
    Meanwhile, when I go to the AVA office located in the Farrer Building and therefore legally park in the Farrer Building parking lot, do I then have to move and re-park my vehicle if I wish to have a beer in the Buckhorn after a hard day’s work? What a load of old bollocks that would be… Just wondering…

    Thank you, Buzzard… Now I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for this week, so until we talk again – be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace… Keep on humming, Hummingbird…
Missing you, Venerable Pheasant…
p.p.p.s. A good herding dog uses his ‘eye,’ stealth, intelligence, agility,  and calmness to herd sheep. They do not bark, and certainly do not wag their tails, even though they love what they are doing. Fred the Border collie (whom I mention regularly in the ‘p.s.’ end to this column) is the only one I have ever seen who continued to wag his tail even when successfully herding sheep. He passed away four years ago this week, aged 14. What a unique and wonderful dog he was…