# 526 - 31st August, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “The Olympic Games are, historically and by design, a place for peaceful international competition: ‘diplomacy over a discus,’ as it were. But geopolitical tensions do occasionally slip into view. During the recently concluded competitions, while the selfie shared by gymnasts from estranged North and South Korea certainly warmed hearts, there were other less-friendly gestures in Rio. The Israel-Arab conflict was present, with the Lebanese delegation refusing to share a bus with Israelis. A Saudi judoka dropped out of her bout with an Israeli, and an Egyptian one was sent home after refusing to shake the hand of the Israeli who bested him. In the pool, American swimmers shunned their Russian counterparts while Australians cold-shouldered the Chinese (ostensibly over doping allegations). An Armenian medal-winner wore a picture of a soldier killed by Azerbaijan; Ukraine’s sport minister ordered his country’s athletes not to give interviews to Russian media; and Serbian athletes were told not to share a podium with Kosovars. I guess it could have been worse but it was bad enough. So much for the brotherhood of nations - I cannot help but think it’s yet another victim of the approaching Apocalypse…”

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #541 - From 3-6pm on Saturday, September 3rd, the A.V. Senior Center will be hosting a fundraising ribs and chicken bbq with chefs ‘Pot Licker BBQ’ (Steve and Terri Rhoades) at their location in the parking lot at the Veterans’ Hall…  #542 - There is live music at Lauren’s Restaurant this Saturday evening, September 3. At 8pm it’s Ryan Davis doing an acoustic set before joining his bandmates in ‘Boonfire' for their 9pm performance. For more information call 895-3869… #543 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have no more visits this month but they will be at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, on September 22 and then twice in October, dates to follow…#544 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley next Tuesday, September 6. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #545 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours to spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’… #546 - The next Barn Sale is on Saturday/Sunday, September 10/11…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, September 1st, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Meat Loaf, Mashed potatoes & gravy, and dessert. Following this lunch join Ken Montgomery & Friends for music & singing… Then, next Tuesday, September 6th, the lunch will be delicious - I just have not been able to find out what it is!… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week! Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class. Also on Thursdays, the Active Life Club runs from 10am to 2pm and features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
… If I hear the excuse for incompetence, inefficiency, or lack of accountability being “because he/she is a volunteer” one more time, then I am sure, like any other self-respecting Turkey Vulture when put in an annoying situation, I shall be forced to just defecate on the head of the person offering the excuse… Enough already. No more talking without walking. People need to do what they said they would/could do!…
… A 3-Dot regular reports that, as he staggered along Haight Street in S.F. last Saturday afternoon, he spotted 16 Mexican teenagers walking around, taking in the sights. He recognized several of them as Anderson Valley student athletes and they informed him that they were in the City to play a soccer game at Kezar Stadium, former home of the 49ers back in the day. My investigations have revealed that they subsequently lost a close game against Urban H.S. After the game they enjoyed a fine postseason meal at the nearby Kezar Pub, where they watched professional soccer on the tv and some of the 18-year old seniors “sipped a couple of refreshing cervezas.” I am sure they were kidding about the beers, although the U.S., along with less than ten others, is a country where citizens can be sent to war at 18 but drinking alcohol is not allowed until you are 21. And that, in my humble opinion, is not a good thing… (FYI - 115 countries have the legal drinking age set ar 18; whereas16 countries ban alcohol completely)…
… The Lions’ fundraising bbq for the A.V. Ambulance, held at the Fairgrounds last Sunday afternoon, was a big success. There were in excess of 120 people - one of the busier such events of the summer, no doubt greatly helped by the earlier large turnout for the Linda Brennan Memorial from which many folks made their way to the Fairgrounds down the road. The Lions did their usual fine catering job and I imagine the Ambulance Department received a significant amount of funding… And I must give kudos to the Joe Blow Band who have greatly improved over the last year, and on Sunday gave a very good performance indeed. (Before you think, ‘Who the hell does Turkey thinks he is?’, I should inform you that I booked bands every Saturday night at a music venue in S.F. for 14 years and feel I have a somewhat informed opinion on this - just sayin’)…
… Finally this week, I am surely just one of many local folks who find it annoying when tourists drive along Highway 128 at 45mph without a thought in the minds about puling over to let others pass. What makes this particularly infuriating is that when they get into Boonville many of them fail to slow down and therefore dangerously maintain that same speed as they drive through town… Such folks are referred to as Tossers where I come from. I suggest you feel free to shout ‘You stupid tosser’ at them whenever you get the chance…
    I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Hi, George – hope you and Sheila are well… Is that ‘lafter’ I hear, Carroll?… Bobwhite Quail - keep up the knitting!