# 552 - 1st March, 2017

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… First, I must point out that almost everything below is true, in fact probably around 99% of it is. However, the whole and complete truth is withheld because, as a wise Valley man known as Deekin once said, “If I told you the whole truth then you’d be as smart as me”… I like your thinkin,’ Deekin…
   
    The Trump Watch… The Department of Homeland Security introduced a major shift in immigration and border-security policy, issuing memos implementing a pair of Donald Trump’s executive orders. Whereas the Obama administration focused its deportation efforts on immigrants who had crossed the border recently or committed serious crimes, now almost anyone living in the country illegally is subject to removal. The Department of Homeland Security has published guidelines on implementing the president’s executive order cracking down on illegal immigrants, permitting many more than originally thought to be deported. They also include plans to send non-Mexicans to Mexico - let’s see how well that works out…

    Let’s move on with The Turkey Vulture’s ‘Evening Dining in the Valley Bulletin’… In geographical order, as you travel through the Valley on Highway 128, here are some fundamentals on ‘The Big Eight’… Lauren’s Restaurant offers lunch from 11.30am-2.30pm on Thursday thru’ Sunday, and dinner from 5-9pm Tuesday - Saturday… Lizbby’s, the new Mexican Restaurant in downtown Boonville is open every day except Tuesdays, serving breakfast (on Saturday and Sunday) and lunch from 10am-3pm and dinner from 5-8pm… The Buckhorn is seriously considering a Monday, April 3 re-opening under its new ownership. I am not sure of their full opening hours as yet (they will probably be closed on Tuesdays) but after being closed for six months one hopes they are plentiful… The Boonville Hotel continues with their family-style, prix fixe menu served Friday thru’ Sunday… Aquarelle Cafe and Wine Bar has delayed their planned re-opening for now. Perhaps in the next couple of weeks is a positive thought I am entertaining…  The Redwood Drive-In just keeps on doing what they do with reliable hours - try the donuts!… Stone and Embers has once again re-joined the Valley’s Evening Dining ‘team’ with new hours that see them open from Noon to 8pm Friday-Sunday and Noon to 4pm on Monday and Tuesday… The Bewildered Pig! down in the Deep End, is open Wednesday - Sunday, 5:30-9pm…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #545 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have two visits this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo - on March 16 and 23… They will be also be here twice next month - April 13 and 20… #546 - I believe that the Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley next Tuesday, March 7. Phone 463-4694 for confirmation. They are usually here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm.… #547 - The A.V Museum is closed for the winter/early spring… #548 - No more Barn Sales for another month or so…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, March 2, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Meat Loaf, Mashed potatoes and gravy, with Birthday Cookies for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, March 7th, the lunch will feature Chicken Picatta and Lemon Bundt cake for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week!… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class. Also on Thursdays, the Active Life Club runs from 10am to 2pm and features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
… A few of our regulars attended Natalie’s Sunday Supper at Lauren’s Restaurant last weekend and informed me that it was a lovely candlelit dining experience with the big hits being Shepherd’s Pie (featuring some delicious lamb) and the Fried Chicken and mashed potatoes; the clam chowder was highly acclaimed too… Well done to Natalie Matson (Lauren’s co-owner) and her crew, I shall certainly be there for the next such event on Sunday, March 26th - I suggest you mark it on your calendars now!…
… The past weekend’s Alsace festival was a big success also, I am reliably informed, with a crowd that is a “little less likely to drink so much” as the attendees at the Pinot Festival in May… Both a good and bad thing I would suggest…
… This weekend the Variety Show returns for the 26th year and there is no doubt it will be a sellout on both Friday and Saturday… It is not everyone’s ‘cup of tea’ but as Master of Ceremonies, Captain Rainbow (formerly Corporal Raindrop), will tell you, “As long as people realize it is a ‘variety’ show and not necessarily (but often in many cases) a talent show, then a good time is usually had by all.” Anyway, congratulations to The Rainman and all his fellow-Varieteers on their twenty-sixth production - a show ‘by the people, for the people’ and a great Valley night out...
… A lively discussion was had among the regulars about the carrying of guns by law enforcement officers. All major police forces in Europe, as well as the US, Canada and Australia routinely carry firearms. The exceptions, apart from in special circumstances, are Britain, the Irish Republic and New Zealand, and in Norway officers carry arms in their cars but not on their person. It is illegal for citizens in those countries to own guns so I guess that keeps it pretty ‘fair’… The debate continues…
… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “To the uninitiated, 40-odd cars buzzing around a four-cornered track for 500 miles—nearly the length of France—might seem dull. But the skillful drivers are to be admired while some fans are enticed by the prospect of a 200mph crash, the punch-ups between competitors, and beery pre-race barbeques. The 2017 season began this past weekend at Daytona Beach, where NASCAR was founded in 1948, transforming the dirt-track races of bootleggers’ souped-up cars into an organised sport. The franchise has become a behemoth, with Fox and NBC together paying $8.2bn for a decade’s broadcasting rights to 2024. But interest is waning. Diehard supporters complain about the cost of traveling to events and the constant tinkering with the rules. Organizers have torn seats out of stadiums to hide falling attendance numbers. Television audiences, which skew towards older viewers, have fallen by 45% since 2005. The sport, it would seem, is running out of juice, and for many folks that would most certainly mean that the Apocalypse is fast approaching…”
   
    Interesting stuff, Buzzard… Ok, I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So, until we talk again - be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture and thinking you should now that we Turkey Vultures are monogamous and mate for life and sometimes, to prove our loyalty, we like to indulge in an ‘erotic’ display dance on our nesting grounds…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on humming, Hummingbird… Missing the Venerable Pheasant… On the sheep, Grace…