# 555 - 22nd March, 2017

   Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… First, I must point out that almost everything below is true, probably around 99%. However, the whole truth is withheld because, as a wise Valley man known as Deekin' once said, “If I told you the whole truth then you’d be as smart as me”… I like your thinkin,’ Deekin’…

    Let’s move on with The Turkey Vulture’s ‘Evening Dining in the Valley Update’… In geographical order, as you travel along on Highway 128, here is the latest on ‘The Tasty Eight’ that make up a wonderful culinary cruise through the Valley… Natalie Matson, co-owner of Lauren’s Restaurant, will present her monthly ‘Sunday Supper’ this coming Sunday, March 26, from 5-8.30pm, featuring comfort dining in a cozy atmosphere at Lauren’s that will warm you inside and out. This is a lovely evening that I hope to see you at - ‘proper’ fish and chips anyone?… Huevos Rancheros is now available every day at Lizbby’s Restaurant in Boonville. And chilaquiles quite often too - ya gotta like that!… The Buckhorn, Anderson Valley (as it is henceforth to be known) is still looking at that Monday, April 3 for their big re-opening night… The Boonville Hotel continues with their family-style, prix fixe menu served Friday thru’ Sunday… Aquarelle Cafe and Wine Bar is looking at an early April re-opening with a new menu to accompany their new hours of operation… The Redwood Drive-In just keeps on doing what they do, with reliable hours - try the donuts!… Stone and Embers has hours that see them open from Noon to 8pm Friday-Sunday and Noon to 4pm on Monday and Tuesday… The Bewildered Pig! down in the Deep End, is open Wednesday - Sunday, 5:30-9pm… And that’s the end of our journey along The Dining Highway for this week… Eat, drink, and be merry…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #543 - Next Friday, March 31, sees a special opportunity for pet lovers here in the Valley. There will be a low-cost ’Care-a-Van’ spay, neuter, and vaccine clinic held at The Grange in Philo beginning at 8am. Call 888-7698 for appointment. Be sure to say it's for the Boonville Clinic. Do yourself and your pet a favor and take advantage of this rare occasion… #544 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have one more visit this month - tomorrow, Thursday, March 23 from 2-3.30pm. To avoid a line perhaps turn up at around 3pm - you will definitely be seen. They will be here twice next month - April 13 and 20. New customers and their pets are always welcome and previous visitors should be aware that they can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them - making this an even better service than it already is!… #545 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues with its Winter location and hours at The Boonville General Store, on Saturdays from 11am-1pm. For more info, call Cindy at 895-2949… #546 - Need a burn permit? From 11am-3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by and you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this… #547 - The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open Tuesdays from 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm at The Fairgrounds in Boonville… #548 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Dump Executive Director, Mike Mannix, rewards good customers with a star but will be very harsh with anyone thinking they can leave dead animals!… #549 - The first Barn Sale of the year will take place over the weekend of April 1/2 from 9am-3pm each day at The Big Barn next to the St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville… #550 - On Saturday, February 25, it’s the Open Mic at Lauren's Restaurant in downtown Boonville. Dinner is served 5-9pm before the Open mic starts at 9pm. Sign-ups begin at 8.30pm. All are welcome - musicians, singers, poets, writers, impressionists, magicians, comedians, actors, fire-eaters, pole dancers, sword swallowers, ventriloquists, raconteurs, exotic dancers, animal callers, etc. No clowns - apparently they would scare any kids who might be there, and no mimes, please - they scare almost everyone else! For more information call 895-3869. Hope to see you there…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, March 23, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Fish and Chips followed by Raspberry Whip for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, March 28, the evening meal served at 6pm, will feature Brisket and then Strawberry Slab Pie for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week!… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class. Also on Thursdays, the Active Life Club runs from 10am to 2pm and features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
… Last week, with the clouds disappearing and temperatures rising, I believe a couple of local gentlemen knew exactly what to do with themselves during that temporary break from the rain. I overheard this little interchange in town as the sunshine streamed down over the Valley. One asked the other, “What can we do on a sunny afternoon in Anderson Valley?’ To which his friend replied without any hesitation, ‘Smoke weed and hang out in a hot tub’… I guess it’s as good a plan as any for many folks around here…
… Around 100 Valley folks gathered at The Apple Hall in Boonville for the annual St Patrick’s Day fundraiser for the Senior Center. Once again the Board did a splendid job of organizing the event, the corned beef was delicious, and some people enjoyed seconds… And one or two even had thirds - mentioning no names…
… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “Lets go straight to ‘The Trump Thing,’ or as it had been known for almost 250 years up until now - The U.S. Presidency… Claims by Donald Trump that the Obama administration carried out surveillance on him during and after the presidential campaign were roundly rejected in America and Britain. America’s Senate Intelligence Committee released a statement suggesting there was no evidence for it and GCHQ, Britain’s electronic-intelligence agency, said the claims were “utterly ridiculous and should be ignored”. Mr Trump stands by the assertion… The Trump administration released a budget plan that would beef up the armed forces but eat into other departments. It envisages cuts of almost one-third for the Environmental Protection Agency, the State Department and foreign aid. The Pentagon and the Department of Homeland Security would get 9% and 7% more, respectively… Every day our ‘Supreme Leader’ does or says something that surely means the Apocalypse is a little closer…”

    I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So, until we talk again – be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Skylark – read any good books lately?… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is…