# 557 - 5th April, 2017

    Greetings one and all. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… First, I must point out that almost everything below is true, probably around 99%. However, the whole truth is withheld because, as a wise Valley man known as Deekin' once said, “If I told you the whole truth then you’d be as smart as me”… I like your thinkin,’ Deekin’…

    Let’s begin with the Turkey Vulture’s update on ‘Evening Dining in the Valley’… Finally!!… Two restaurant openings are virtually upon us, both in the space of less than a week… Aquarelle Cafe and Wine Bar will be re-opening this coming Friday April 7, with a new menu to accompany their new hours of operation - to be confirmed here next week. The new menu will include a Santa Maria-style bbq outside, serving half-chickens, ribs, tacos, along with beers and sangria - I hope to be on those half-chickens really soon… And just down the street, after a six month absence, the Buckhorn’s planned re-opening is actually here - they will open the doors once again, after another slight delay, on Wednesday April 12! So, once again the Valley will, in my view, return to being a civilized place, one in which half chickens and sangria are served and there is a bar serving draft beers, and appropriate food to go with them, plus margaritas, samosas, Martini’s, and Jameson’s Irish whiskey, etc, etc… Apart from this news, here is the update on the other six nighttime eateries in the Valley… In geographical order, as you travel through the Valley on Highway 128, let’s start at Lauren’s Restaurant, which continues with their regular hours of lunch on Thursday-Sunday, 11.30am-2.30pm, and dinner on Tuesday-Saturday, 5-9pm… Lizbby’s, the new Mexican Restaurant in downtown Boonville, is open every day except Tuesdays, serving breakfast (on Saturday and Sunday) and lunch from 10am-3pm and dinner from 5-8pm… The Boonville Hotel continues with their family-style, prix fixe menu served Friday thru’ Sunday… The Redwood Drive-In just keeps on doing what they do, with reliable hours - don't forget to try the donuts!… Stone and Embers’ spring hours see them open from Noon to 8pm Friday-Sunday and Noon to 4pm on Monday and Tuesday… The Bewildered Pig! are open Wednesday-Sunday, 5:30-9pm… And that’s it for now… Join us again next week for another culinary cruise along the Dining Highway… Meanwhile, I encourage you all to eat, drink, and be merry…
    Well, it’s actually going to happen – ‘The Buckhorn, Anderson Valley’ will finally be opening it’s doors next week under new owners, Jean and Tom Condon, daughter Jordana Condon, and Chris Cole (these latter two being recently employed at Lauren’s Restaurant as waitress and cook respectively, with Chris perviously working as a waiter/bartender at The Buckhorn under prior owner, Tom Towey). Once again it has been a case of small business owners having to persevere and fight through the red tape and bureaucracy of Mendocino County over the last few months in order to open a pub/restaurant. One would like to think the local government would try to help such endeavors instead of seemingly doing their best to prevent such small businesses opening and being successful. But, now that the bastards have finally been beaten down, a new and much anticipated establishment, one that will certainly add to the enjoyment of an afternoon or evening out in Boonville, is going to open and provide the community with something it has needed for six months…  With this in mind, for your Quote of the Week, I feel it is perfectly appropriate to give you, not for the first time, the wise words of the British social commentator and writer, Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) – “Nothing has been yet contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn.” I would venture to say that this is as true today as on the occasion he originally made this very astute observation...  

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #543 - For the month of April, a Diabetes Workshop will be offered by the AV Health Center at the Senior Center on Tuesdays in Spanish from 10am-Noon and on Thursdays in English from 1-3pm. To register please call 707-895-3477… #544 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have two visits this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo - Thursdays April 13 and 20, from 2-3.30pm. New customers and their pets are always welcome and previous visitors should be aware that they can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them - making this an even better service than it already is!… #545 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues with its Winter location and hours at The Boonville General Store, on Saturdays from 11am-1pm. For more info, call Cindy at 895-2949… #546 - Need a burn permit? From 11am-3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by and you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this… #547 - The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open Tuesdays from 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm at The Fairgrounds in Boonville… #548 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Dump Executive Director, Mike Mannix, rewards good customers with a star but will be very harsh with anyone thinking they can leave dead animals!… #549 - The Anderson Valley Grange is having its regular second Sunday Pancake Breakfast on Jan 9 from 8:30-11am. Prices range from $5-10 - kids through hungry folks, for a delicious, locally-sourced breakfast. Choices include pancakes (gluten free available but gluten extra not), eggs, and bacon, with a choice of juice, tea or coffee included… #550 - the monthly meeting of the ‘Preparation for the Rest of Our Lives’ group takes pace at Lauren’s Restaurant at 4pm on Sunday, April 9. This is a gathering at which this important but so often avoided topic, and the options available to all of us at some point, will be discussed amongst Valley folks… #551 - And finally this week, I am reliably informed by the Yorkville Master Shepherd that on Saturday, April 15, the first local sheepdog trial of the year will take place at The Fairgrounds in Boonville. Called The Spring Trial the fascinating battle featuring Man and Dog versus the Ornery Sheep begins at 10am and everyone is welcome to attend…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, April 6, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Chicken Tamale Loaf with Birthday Cupcakes for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, April 11, the evening meal served at 6pm will feature Chicken Cordon Bleu Casserole followed by Not Mama's Banana Pudding for dessert. As this is the 2nd Tuesday of the month, the dinner will be followed by Bingo at 7pm. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week!… Meanwhile, a new exciting event is now taking place on Tuesday and Thursday from 9-9.45am when the Center offers ‘Young at Heart Exercise’ with Linda Boudoures and Karen DeFalco… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am-Noon it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class. Also on Thursdays, the Active Life Club runs from 10am to 2pm and features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    The Three-Dot Lounge, wherein “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” are discussed at my favorite gathering place in the Valley, is currently closed for late spring cleaning. However, our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, always has a few thoughts whether we are closed or not, and in these strange times they often concern the follies of the ‘Leader of the Free World (?)… Here comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “Lets go straight to ‘The Trump Thing,’ or as it had been known for almost 250 years up until now - The U.S. Presidency… A court is expected to approve payments to 3,700 former students of Trump University today. The man who is now president set the business up to sell (in true used car salesman style) courses to those eager to prosper in the property business. The company offered a free introductory seminar. Teachers were then encouraged to sell them courses starting with the ‘one-year apprenticeship’ ($1,495) and going all the way up to the Gold Elite course ($35,000). Ads for the company boasted that Donald Trump handpicked the teachers. In a subsequent deposition, he could not remember meeting any of them. The students sued. The Trump organization said it would not settle. Then it did. ‘While we have no doubt that Trump University would have prevailed at trial based on the merits of this case,’ it said in a statement, the resolution would allow Mr Trump ‘to devote his full attention to the important issues facing our great nation’… Is there no end to this man’s boorish actions and compete lack of class?… Please pass the sick bag, Bruce…”

    Thanks for the update, Buzzard… Ok, I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep…So “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - still wallowing in the honor of having the 2nd tallest tree (343.6 feet) in Hendy Woods named after me and my ilk…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Missing the Venerable Pheasant… Keep on humming, Hummingbird… On the sheep, Grace…