# 97 - February 13th, 2008

Greetings one and all…I hope you’ve all recovered from “Super Duper Tuesday” and are now looking forward to a further nine months of political bickering. Having said that I know many people have found this year’s races more interesting than most and we now know for certain that history will be made no matter who gets the Democratic nomination…As for those many citizens who voted by mail and had chosen John Edwards before he withdrew – it would appear to be, “too bad!”. Our Supremo at The A.V.A., Sir Bruce Anderson, was one such person and his frustrations and annoyance expressed in last week’s issue at this ridiculous situation are understandable. Surely this system must be changed…Now he’ll go with Ralph Nader as he cannot vote for “Hilary The Unacceptable”. If too many people do this, or decide not to vote at all, the Republicans will win and Armageddon really will be upon us…
More Political Carrion…Meanwhile Senator John “I’m not dull and uninspiring” McCain certainly seems a shoe-in at this point for the G.O.P. and, if Mike “Praise the Lord” Huckabee becomes his running mate, the Republicans, despite their woeful performance over the past eight years, would have with a large percentage of their base-following represented and might actually have a good chance of winning in November. Sad but true!...“What about Condoleesa Rice as running mate for McCain?”, I hear you ask. Obviously she is an African American woman and, with her connection to the Bush White House, by putting her on the Republican ticket this would satisfy both the Bush followers and perhaps those independent voters who on election day decide to make a politically correct vote based on sex and race – many Democrats seem to be doing just that…Once again this is sad but true and would provide another possible tough ticket for Obama or Hilary to beat...
On the Democratic side, it could go either way. Hilary is slightly ahead as I write and she has two firewalls to protect her from Barack’s stirring efforts – Latinos and working-class whites (particularly women over-35), both of which tend to be suspicious of Mr. Obama’s high-flown rhetoric – he is straight from the Martin Luther King book of speech-making and can be very convincing; but is there any substance? The votes of these two groups went a long way to saving the teary-eyed Clinton candidacy in New Hampshire and Florida. There is a long history of racial tensions between Latinos and African Americans in big cities such as New York and Los Angeles etc and this partly explains why many Latinos are firmly in the Clinton camp and will not be Obama voters. Older (than thirty-five) white women in particular are also solidly pro-Clinton for numerous reasons, including the obvious, and on behalf of those who believe that Obama has the best chance of beating the Republican nominee, whoever that may be, I hope these groups become aware of the following polls…
When pollsters offer voters hypothetical match-ups, Mr. Obama does better than Mrs. Clinton against Mr. McCain. For example, a Cook Political Report poll of registered voters released this week found Mr. McCain beats Mrs. Clinton, 45 percent to 41 percent. But Mr. Obama beats Mr. McCain, 45 percent to 43 percent. The latest Washington Post/ABC News poll found similar results…Mr. Obama does surprisingly well among evangelical Christians, an important constituency in swing states. For example, Relevant magazine, which caters to young evangelicals, asked its readers: "Who would Jesus vote for?" Mr. Obama was the winner and came out 27 percentage points ahead of Mrs. Clinton…Given the chance, Obama might beat whoever is on the Republican ticket; Hilary might not…
Moving on…How about some good old “Jive Turkey”?... Were you aware that we T.V.s are 50,000 times more protected from Botulism (poisoning from extreme toxins in food) than humans – if you’d seen what I’ve eaten today you’d say this is just as well for my future survival!…
Not so much a “Quote of The Week” this time, but rather a t-shirt I spotted been worn by large bearded man in the heart of Boonville last weekend. On the front was printed “Jews for Jesus” and on the back, “Vegetarians for Pork Chops” – life can be so confusing at times…
My old sparring partner, Jay “Just to make a short story long” Williamson of Santa Rosa sent me gift last week. The suspicious looking package sat at The A.V.A. office for a number of days with Messrs. Anderson and Scaramella in a state of mild fear as they toiled away. I eventually picked it up and found it to be an inoffensive jigsaw puzzle of a ‘Vulture Collar’ – a form of a chest adornment that was worn by mummies in the tomb of King Tutankhamun. Very thoughtful, I'm sure, and at nine hundred and thirty eight virtually identical pieces it is probably something J.W. has never completed himself. I have little time to work on it at this point so perhaps I should return it to him. After all, based on his recent correspondence to the A.V.A., the general consensus around these parts is that Mr. Williamson clearly needs to exercise his mind a little more…Either that or increase his medications…Many thanks, J.W...…
Meanwhile, my No. 1 Fan, “Confused of Comptche, California” has decided to share some of his vast wealth of experiences with you all in the form of a number of “tips on life”…Here is this week’s little gem - “Hey, Vulch, perhaps some of your readers will be interested to know that if they wish to conduct a life of celibacy and emotional solitude, without joining a monastery, they can do so by simply living with my wife. It's more comfortable than a monastery and you'd be able to watch TV and use the Internet”…Anyone interested – she’s a lovely woman, I’m sure?…
I think I’ve said enough – I’ll get my coat shall I?…Be careful out there, stay out of the ditches, think good thoughts, and may your god go with you…But first, “Let us prey”…Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
You can contact me with words of support/abuse by e-mail at turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net