#5 - December 22nd, 2004

Well, dear readers, with early morning frosts on the ground and 'carrion' quite scarce in and around town, it's the time of year which sees us vultures flying the coop and heading south for a week or so and leaving the Valley behind….
It only remains for me to hope that you and your loved ones enjoy a wonderful Christmas / Hanukkah / Kwanzaa /etc / etc….and if you have no religious affinities then just enjoy your time with family and friends whatever the occasion…. I offer my best wishes that 2005 is a happy and healthy year for you and that the New Year ensures that life in Anderson Valley continues to reward, amuse, startle, surprise, and stimulate each of us lucky enough to live here….
So, on a silent night with everything in the Valley seemingly all calm and bright, it only remains for me to say, as any self-respecting buzzard or 'blackish brown bird of prey from the New World' (Webster's Dictionary) would surely say - "Later, dudes, I'm outta here…Squaaawwwk !!!"…..

#4 - December 15th, 2004

A Bird's Eye View of The Valley…….. by Turkey Vulture

Although it was wet and wild outdoors last Monday night it was no deterrent for those who gathered at The Buckhorn Saloon for fine ales, tasty bar snacks, and stimulating conversation (at least according to those assembled in the bar !). With new Monday night barman, Jim, 'on loan' from The Boonville Hotel, doing a splendid job, everyone seemed to have a great time, helped by the fact that the football game was a nail-biter right to the end. Yours truly had a vested interest in a Dallas Cowboy victory which finally came about at approximately 9.30pm and obviously this had to be celebrated accordingly. Thus I left the still 'happening' scene after 10pm and hopefully Jim was able to finish his shift and be out of there before midnight - an unthinkably late hour for a miserable Monday in Boonville…
The following night I witnessed a similarly festive group gathered at Libby's to celebrate local 'celebrity' and occasional carpenter, Olie Erickson's 40th Birthday. Balloons and Irish whisky seemed to be in abundance and although the latter remained officially unopened for legal reasons, the Mexican beers and wine were more than sufficient. Libby's did themselves proud with the friendly, prompt ,and efficient service of Carrie Sanchez to go with the always excellent food produced in the kitchen - mmmm, I'd have to say that the carne asada is hard to beat anywhere… and I lived and ate in and around the Mission district of San Francisco for many years…
Rain, rain, and more rain…but very few power outages in the Valley up to this point…Now I suppose I've spoken too soon, eh ?…..Talking of which, during power failures in the past, I found a very comforting thing to do, along with candlelit dinners and cozy wood fires, is to stay tuned to Ft Bragg's radio station, The Coast - KOZT - 95.3 FM. I strongly advise listening particularly when station co-owner and d.j. par excellence, Tom Yates, is on the air, although I must say all the station's d.j.'s maintain a high level of professionalism that is so often lacking on the airwaves today. If you can ignore the too numerous Grateful Dead songs over a day of listening, you will discover that Tom has the perfect calming voice for times of trouble and his up-to-date pg&e repair schedules are most useful. Furthermore his obvious sincerity is most reassuring and his encouragement for all of us to "think good thoughts" seems to work …..and this 'warm and fuzzy' advice comes to you from a cynical, curmudgeonly vulture like myself who would not normally enjoy being told to "think good thoughts"…..
I only managed to catch a few of the recent basketball games at The Redwood Classic and did not manage to see our Anderson Valley Panthers in action. However, having spoken to a couple of people who did and who know the game and are coaches themselves, apparently our boys did not cover themselves in glory . Whilst they cannot be faulted for being beaten by more skilful opposition, there is no excuse for lack of effort and numerous fundamental errors…… Now don't 'kill the messenger', I'm merely reporting the feelings of some very disappointed fans , just as I will talk about our team's better performances when they happen and the joy to fans which they bring…
The Dogs with No Name…nor address……Stray dogs without name and address tags seems to be a common occurrence up and down the Valley. Too bad that humans are once again getting it wrong. It is beyond my comprehension why someone would not take care of this basic duty of pet ownership/guardianship and thus enable those who find these stray animals an opportunity to return them to their homes. I suppose I could be wrong in assuming that they are wanted as this is by no means certain given the disregard for the animal's well-being in the first place… I personally have returned numerous dogs with tags to their owners and although some have been extremely grateful I have been very surprised at others who have given me just a cursory "thanks" - country life and country attitudes perhaps ?….Anyway, this week's count was three dogs - one outside the Boonville Hotel at 10pm on Monday night in the middle of Highway 128; another near the Redwood Drive-in at 11.30am on Tuesday, also in the middle of Highway128; and a third at the end of Gschwend Road near it's junction with Highway 128 at the far end of Philo on Thursday….None of the dogs had tags and I have no idea whether they found their ways back home… Surely we can do better.
I mentioned a few weeks ago that I would rarely enter any political minefields in this column. There are others who contribute to this esteemed organ who are far more qualified to do so than I. However, I have to say something about what I witnessed the other night on television. I watched Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, come face to face with troops in Iraq and field questions from them. He was pathetic. It was shocking how clumsily he answered their questions about poor equipment, useless intelligence, and the misleading promises the soldiers had been given about how long they would be expected to serve in that particular theatre of war. He even shamelessly tried to excuse his incompetence by making a joke that he was an old man and that it was early in the morning. For someone who has one of the most important roles in world affairs today it was not only a display of utter ineptness but also a very scary , even terrifying, preview of what we can expect over the next four years while this administration is in office …
Latest on the search for "The Complete Night out in Boonville" sweepstakes……The A.V. Brewery Tasting Room will very shortly be offering local wines by the glass for those of you who need a respite from tasting the beers they make - wonderful though they are……..As far as Christmas trimmings are concerned, on a visit to town last Friday evening I noticed that The Buckhorn Saloon has done a marvelous job once again and will be hard to beat in the annual competition for the cash prizes awarded to establishments with the best holiday decorations - Well done, Diana and the crew !….There is also a prize for the best decorations at a private residence and based on what I've seen already this will be a very close call indeed…..
Stop the presses - last minute news-flash ! … Reliable sources (two guys in a bar) have informed me that this award cannot be won by the same business two years in succession and as The Buckhorn apparently won last year they are ineligible for the prize this year. Well, it looks great anyway…
A number of local business owners are commenting on how slow business continues to be. Obviously things are quieter at this time of year with the influx of out-of-towners and bright lighters at its annual low point but this year seems to be a little worse than previously as we approach the middle of December. So, if you are thinking about visiting the metropolitan areas of Ft Bragg or Ukiah and you could get the same thing here in the Valley may I respectfully suggest perhaps you could offset the money you save on the gas for that road trip by buying locally at the slightly higher price. At least you'd be supporting a neighbor and at the same time you'll probably run in to someone you know for a holiday chat…..Say "hi" from me !…..

#3 - December 8th, 2004

An excellent start to the week when I was fortunate to be in attendance at the High School Gym last Tuesday lunchtime for the annual high school sports teams' awards ceremony. Most of the school was in attendance as Vice Principal Jim Tomlin made the introductions in his usual admirably enthusiastic way. The girls varsity Volleyball team had once again achieved some milestones and had completed a wonderful season. Year after year this occurs and when such accomplishments happen that often, and right down from the top through to the j.v. team and beyond, then the coaching is clearly at the highest level and at the heart of the success. Many congratulations to all the players and Coach Flick McDonald and his assistants… With six freshman starters the boys soccer program had a down year by their standards - just second in the league !. Nevertheless, Coach Smith assured the audience that with almost all the team returning next season another soccer Championship might not be too far away…..Girls soccer also had their best season to date, owing much to the dedication of their new coaching staff and the determination and hard work of the players…..Finally, although the football season was not very successful in terms of results, Coach Shrider felt much had been achieved in such areas as team spirit and dedication. The players had been a pleasure to coach and he pointed out, perhaps most importantly of all, that not a single player had been lost to grades…… The Valley's high school sports teams are frequently at the top of their respective leagues and are a source of much local pride, greatly adding to Anderson Valley's sense of community - well done to everyone involved……
After all that it's now time for a small complaint about Valley life….Can anyone explain why some of the local grocery stores choose to close at 5pm when, with people returning home from work just after that hour, that is precisely the time at which they would have many customers and do plenty of business ? It's peculiar, not to mention irritating, to be inconvenienced by the convenience store and I just don't get it…..
Food news - an important topic for any self-respecting turkey vulture…… Breakfast at The Horn of Zeese is almost always an enjoyable experience and just a few days ago was no exception. With it's cozy décor and interesting wall displays it offers a real flavor of the Valley and I am always gratified when I see that business is going well. The coffee was good, the chicken fried steak and eggs with the delicious 'hobo' potatoes was a perfect combination, and the service was friendly and almost faultless - the toast arrived at least ten minutes too soon and was therefore cold when the rest of the meal was served - not ideal for dipping into the hot egg yolk !….. A few days earlier, having splashed out a small fortune to fill my truck with gas, I was in need of some cheering up and I've found that one of the best ways to achieve this is with some good eating… and there I was at The Redwood Drive-in - perfect. Those guys know their 'stuff' when it comes to burgers and the friendly, efficient staff were on hand to make for a most enjoyable lunchtime experience and I departed with my stomach pleasantly full and a big smile across my beak……..However, excellent though the burger was, it was not the best culinary experience of my week. No, it was actually a very close runner-up to the truly first class breakfast burrito I had devoured the previous day at The Floodgate Store down in Deep End country. Expertly prepared by owner/operator Alicia, it contains just about everything you could ask for and is both mildly spicy and very tasty indeed…and always comes with a cheerful greeting, a friendly smile, and a few wisecracks…..
It was while at the Floodgate Store that I bumped into an old acquaintance who, with his dog, was trying to get a ride into Philo. The two of them are often seen walking along the Valley's highways and byways and naturally I agreed to help them get to town. However, within seconds of setting off I became suddenly aware of a very familiar smell - skunk ! Before I could say anything, my old 'buddy' calmly announced, "You don't mind if the dog has a little smell to him do ya ? He just got skunked at the back of the store there?"…I didn't know what to think and could only come up with, "No problem, it's not far to town."…..That was nearly a week ago and, despite using all the obvious remedies which have hardly helped at all, the odor seems to be planning on sticking around for a time. No doubt there is an 'alternative' moral to this tale concerning the 'rewards' of helping one's fellow citizens but in this particular instance it is not one which I can repeat in such a distinguished publication…..
On to Friday evening and time for a night out in downtown Boonville. After a few phone calls it was agreed that a few other 'turkeys' and myself would meet up at The A.V. Brewery's new tasting room facility, which, although it would not have any food on offer would certainly have an abundance of quality beers. As I flew into the spacious parking lot I noticed a number of people assembled at the bar and a few more in the beer garden alongside. On entering the tasting room I was amazed at the sight of a huge Christmas tree, almost twenty feet tall, freshly cut down from owner Ken Allen's property on Highway 253 and tastefully decorated by the multi-talented Dan Houk. It 'warmed up' the whole room and a few people commented that it made them feel that the holiday period had arrived.. A number of the 'usual Friday night suspects' were in imbibing the splendid ales, capably served up by new tasting room manager, Todd Capuzelo, a recent signing from The Buckhorn Saloon. Outside, under the stars, the two fireplaces were keeping everyone warm and new logs were added whenever necessary by those present. As I mentioned a few weeks ago this location has much potential and is certainly an excellent starting point to an evening out. However, with the current lack of any drink choice other than beer (no wine at this point, although this issue is being discussed by the powers that be) and with no food available (other than peanuts and pretzels) that potential may take time to develop and the tasting room's role as an all-round Friday night destination venue will take a little time…
Finally, the talk of the town over the past few days has been the presence of large numbers of roosters in Demonstration Forest north of Navarro. Being of an inquisitive nature and aware that roosters are distant relatives of turkey vultures, I ventured down that way to see what all the fuss was about……Nothing - not a feathered friend in sight !….Not that I'm implying that there never were any roosters in the woods, not at all… For those unaware, roosters which are castrated and fattened up for eating are called capons and I have been fortunate to devour this fine bird on a few rare occasions. So, knowing the adventurous spirit and resourcefulness of many Valley people, it would not surprise me in the least to find out that many a dinner table in the Navarro and Philo region will be adorned with such a splendid delicacy this holiday season. Fine with me just as long as Turkey Vultures are not thought of in the same way !…..

#2 - December 1st, 2004

Another fun-filled week in the Valley started off with an afternoon spent in the highlands above Yorkville observing the latest match-up in that classic battle that has been played out for centuries - man and dog versus a flock of sheep. On this occasion the odds clearly favored the dogs, with their strong line-up of seven eager yet inexperienced border collies against a very young line-up of skittish ewe lambs. However, I can assure you that our woolen friends are not as stupid as they are so often depicted and in the early stages of the contest they went into a commanding lead as they thundered in the opposite direction to the corral where they were supposed to be…..Nevertheless, three dogs were constantly on the 'attack' and eventually the sheeps' defenses were broken down. After some exciting exchanges around the pens, the dogs greater fitness and determination proved too much for the tiring lambs and after an hour or so all were in the corral grazing on some very luscious green grass. The dogs were happy to cool off in the brook and the shepherd was content with his team's work, rewarding himself with a couple of cans of Guinness - as you do…..
Whilst down at that end of the valley I came across County Trapper Gary Johnson, busy checking on traps and fence lines in his constant battle against the ever-encroaching coyotes and wild hogs…and perhaps the occasional mountain lion. It's always a pleasure to talk with Gary who not only loves his job but is also very good at it. Furthermore he is always very willing to educate others on the various 'wildlife' issues that he comes up against every day. He informed me that the Yorkville area continues to suffer badly from pasture damage caused by the pigs guzzling the grass roots and that, when very hungry, these large beasts can easily kill and eat sheep. He clearly admires the mountain lion and it's ability to kill other beasts efficiently and quickly when hungry. He noted that if a sheep has been somewhat eaten by turkey vultures (not me !) then a mountain lion will not be interested in eating the remainder and will move on to a fresh kill. - "when you're that good, you can be that fussy" Gary explained…..
The next day I stopped by one of my favorite local businesses, Boontberry, and enjoyed a delicious piece of chicken from their always excellent deli counter. The quality of all their produce never fails to amaze and the service is there to match. On this occasion it was the very friendly Clare who assisted me and there are very few places around where that much sought-after blend of top quality product along with pleasant and efficient service is so abundant…..
On Thanksgiving Eve I decided to head for the coast and meander around the town of Mendocino. The drive was very enjoyable with courteous drivers all along Highway 128 - not always the case as I've mentioned before. I flew around the town and found it to be quite busy but as always a pleasant experience. I had to check in at one of my favorite bars, Dick's, for a quick drink and enjoyed a splendid pint of Poleeko Gold Pale Ale from our very own A.V. Brewery. Unlike every other 'watering hole' in the town, which are often full of tourists and certainly fix their prices accordingly, Dick's is a wonderful, old, classic locals' bar with decent prices and many photographs on the wall depicting the town's fascinating history, not to mention the lovely barmaid with the great smile ! …..
The weather was changing and rain was on its way so I headed back to the valley and after stopping at my nest for a fine surf'n'turf feast of rib-eye steak and beautiful fresh salmon obtained from Lemons Market in Philo, I made my way into town where a wonderful evening was spent at The Boonville Lodge in the company of all kinds of Valley people. Old-timers, logging guys, carpenters, brewery employees, winery folks, city guys and gals now living here, a couple of the high school coaches, and even an off-duty sheriff, all added to the flavor of the evening. Obviously there is a very eclectic mix of people in the Valley and to see this melting pot of people all enjoying themselves with each other was very satisfying indeed…as was the excellent vodka and grapefruit…..
Talking of eating, which I obviously like to do, having devoured a leg of lamb on Thanksgiving day I had missed my annual munching of a turkey sandwich. However, a day or so after the big feast I went to Lauren's restaurant in Boonville and sure enough there was a hot turkey sandwich on the menu. Served with mashed potatoes and gravy with fresh cranberry sauce and accompanied by a bottle of Pinot noir from Husch Vineyards it was delicious and I only wish I had room for more….Good thinking by Lauren - not everyone had done the Turkey 'thing' on Thanksgiving and it was a wise move proving once again that she knows how to run a restaurant…..
Having spent a number of years in the bar/restaurant business myself I do like to mention this topic. So, still on the matter of food, I have to once more mention the splendid efforts being made by the Buckhorn Saloon for their Monday Night Football presentation. This past week, for their free bar snacks, they offered tasty potato skins with bacon and melted cheese, wonderfully fresh and spicy nachos, and battered artichoke hearts. In the kitchen Pillar Duran produces some very good bar food and this week she served up an excellent country fried steak and mashed potato on the specials menu at $8.95. Monday evenings there are picking up and hopefully more locals will respond and perhaps they will be surprised at how many people they know if they swing by…..
Finally I have to report another example of weirdness on highway 128. This time I was driving north out of Cloverdale behind a white pick-up which gradually slowed down until a couple of miles out of town it was going at a pedestrian 20 mph. Obviously I was close behind at that point but the driver seemed in a world of his own and made no attempt to pull over. I assumed the truck would use one of the many turnouts but no. After a couple of more miles I was getting impatient I admit to being immediately behind the truck when the driver put his arm out of the window and gave me the finger. What had I done ? I simply wished to travel at about 45 mph and he didn't. What's the problem ? Well he continued to gesture at me and I slowed a little and decided to wait until passing was possible. There is little opportunity at that end of 128 however and finally at the 48 mile marker, with me still close behind, he pulled in to a turnout to let me pass. I was very curious about his reasoning for such strange and aggressive behavior so I also pulled in just in front of him, stepped out of my car and walked towards the truck. Immediately a man in his early sixties with a long bushy beard, some sort of sombrero-style hat, and overalls stepped out of the truck and approached me. I said, "Why wouldn't you pull over…and why give me the finger ?" He was in no mood to discuss anything and went into a rant about how he always pulled into this particular turnout, not any other, and if I didn't like it then I'd better watch out or in future he'd shove my truck up my ass ! I calmly replied that he would not be performing that sort of maneuver on me and that he should stop behaving like a moron. This inflamed him even more but as I was staring right at him he seemed to realize that Turkey Vulture was not going to back down to his attempted intimidation. He walked back to his truck muttering to himself but then, as I also returned to my truck and was about to get in, he screamed, "I am a trained killer from Vietnam !"…and he reached inside his overalls and pulled out the dog tags wrapped around his neck. "You see these ?…You'd better watch out for me on this road, m*ther f*cker", 'cos I'm driving it all the time and I can do a lot of damage to you !". I was amazed at this outburst but didn't really wish to check his killer instincts out at this point so I firmly stated, "Hey, the war is over, move on !" (easy for me to say) and suggested that he should calm down and continue on his drive through the valley. I climbed into my truck and continued on my way. He followed at some distance behind me, finally pulling off in downtown Boonville…… Anyway, I thought you should be aware of his presence in the Valley and heed my warning not to mess with any bushy bearded men driving at 20mph who remain oblivious to all those around them until they suddenly decide that they wish to kill them…It's a funny old Valley and we get all sorts up here……Have a 'wacky' week…Turkey Vulture.