#13 - February 23rd, 2005

As regular readers will be aware, one of the highlights of the week for any Turkey Vulture is a visit to the County DumpŠand I'm no exception. Last Wednesday I flew up Mountain View Road and checked out the day's activities at this fun-filled venue. It was a fairly quiet day up there but it's well worth noting, and I'm sure you're keen to learn, that there was a very pungent odor emanating from one of the two large trash containers. Despite many years of experience in this field I could not work out what the smell was and Ron the Dump Guy was equally as dumfounded. He did comment however, that it was, "very smelly, very unpleasant" ŠAll I can add is that you know it's particularly bad when Ron says soŠŠ

Moving quickly onŠ.A few weeks ago I mentioned in the 'Unusual Sights in the Valley' section that I had talked with two young women who were planning to make a film in the Valley. At the time I referred to this development as the coming of 'Armageddon'. Well, one day last week as I flew into Navarro heading for the coast I was confronted by over twenty big trucks, large vans, and expensive cars , all parked at the side of the road around The Navarro Store. Camera and film equipment was everywhere. Two questions immediately popped into my mind - 'Was this the film crew I had feared would show up ?'Š and if soŠ 'Why had I not been offered a part ?' (Before you scoff I should inform you that my great grandfather was in Hitchcock's The Birds and my grandmother appeared in The Raven alongside the late, great Vincent Price and Peter Lorre. As you can see, acting is clearly in my bloodŠ.but I digress)Š..I continued on my way and after flying an additional mile west past Navarro I saw that the traffic was being held up by a CHP officer. I could also make out that further on down the highway all sorts of activities were happening in the road. Being an 'investigative reporter' I approached the officer and inquired what sort of film was being made. Smiling, and with a friendly tone of voice, he informed me that it was not a film which was in production but a commercial for the new Cadillac. There would be a fifteen minute delay, he added. He was very cheerful and he returned to reading his newspaper. I was relieved to hear that it was not the film crew I had expected but still felt somewhat violated by all these 'brightlighters' sitting around doing very little except impinging on our quiet roads and my own relaxing drive to the coast. Anyway, when I was eventually allowed to meander past the assembled hordes of actors, crew, technicians, make-up people, cooks, etc assembled at the side of the road, I could not resist commenting to all of them, "Tough job, guys, keep up the good work." They seemed confused at my curmudgeonly sarcasm Š.. Meanwhile, despite the same kind of annoying delays still occurring three hours later as I made my return journey, I'm sure most Valley folk will overlook any inconveniences and are now eagerly looking forward to seeing the commercial and possibly even buying the new carŠYeh, right.

On Thursday I accompanied some dog and cat buddies of mine to the travelling vets who were making one of their visits to the Valley . As I have mentioned before these guys are from the Mendcocino Animal Hospital in Ukiah and stop by Dave and Nancy Gowan's Anderson Valley Farm Supply a couple of times a month to provide an invaluable service for the pets of many local people. Led by Dr. Katy Summers, they arrive around 2pm and stay for a couple of hours. There are no appointments but there is a sign up sheet so that people and their pets get seen in the order that they arrive. If you are planning a visit I recommend that you call the vets (707-462-8833) to confirm that they are coming to the Valley as their schedule seems to be a little irregular at this point and it is not every Thursday that they are hereŠŠ

Before I forgetŠI read in this publication a couple of weeks ago about the wonderful produce available this time of year at various locations in the Valley. I must endorse the comments concerning Pam Laird's Blue Meadow Farm just off Highway 128 on Holmes Ranch Road (near Handley Cellars on the opposite side of 128 to Clark Road). In the past couple of weeks there have been some delicious fresh sweet carrots, broccoli, spring onions, and squash and it is well worth a visit.

In order to prepare myself for a heavy session of beer and wine which was inevitably going to be happening when celebrating The President's Day Weekend extravaganza, I decided to line my stomach with some of the delicious possibilities at Moya's Taco stand in downtown Boonville. What a wise move it proved. Not only was the "small" Chicken Burrito ($4) excellent on the palate but it set me up perfectly for numerous pints of Pale Ale and glasses of Merlot whilst ensuring that my hangover was barely legitimate the next morning - ya gotta like that ! So if in doubt about what to grab for a small feast before imbibing alcohol you should check out Senor Moya's offerings. Trust me on this - you'll thank me laterŠ..

An hour or so further into the same evening I found myself in a very interesting conversation over a few beers with a couple of long-time Valley residents. The topic under discussion turned to some of the strange characters who, in the past, have lived here in this beautiful part of Northern California . Now I know there have been many wonderful people who have made Anderson Valley their home but for the purposes of this conversation it was the more 'unsavory' types who were being considered. Like many of you no doubt, I had heard these names mentioned previously as former residents of the Valley but not for some time, and to hear their names again in a conversation with those who remember them being here was very interesting and informative. According to these two fellows, among former Valley folks were cult leader and convicted murderer Charles Manson, a former resident of Gschwend Road; Jim Jones, a former school teacher at the High School and later leader of The People's Temple of which 900 members died after drinking soft drinks laced with cyanide; mass murderers Lake and Ng who apparently worked at the Boonville Hotel; and child kidnapper Luis "Treefrog" Johnson. Quite a group of 'troubled' individuals I must say and what a coincidence that they all resided in this Valley at some point in time. I'm sure there are many other long-time locals who could have added much to our discussion and corrected some of the discrepancies between the two guys' recollections. Without much research, the memories of a few people is all I have to go on and who knows how much is completely accurate other than the fact that they all lived here. Perhaps the history of these men and their time spent here is best forgotten or at least shrouded in the mists of time. Meanwhile it can only be hoped that there are no more of their ilk in residenceŠŠp.s. If anyone does have some interesting stories about these characters and their times up here feel free to contact me via e-mail at < turkeyvulture1@earthlink.net >Š..

On that note I will say farewell for another week and leave you with these
words of wisdom taken from the headstone of one of my forefathers : "If death starts to look good, you're staring into the vultures eye"Š. Now I believe it's definitely time for us to preyŠŠ Turkey VultureŠ..

#12 - February 16th, 2005

Before the past few days of showery weather, the balmy spring days of last week seemed to bring with them something weird and wonderful in the air…..I visited the Vulture Doctor's office in Ukiah last week for some claw clipping and rehabbing of a strained wing. As I read the latest copy of Vulture Digest in the waiting room, where about half a dozen other patients sat, one of them, an elderly lady with silver-blue hair and spectacles on the end of her nose, began to hum loudly. All those present could clearly make out the Barbara Streisand song "The Way We Were" ("Memories'"), from the film of that name. She skipped through the magazine on her lap as she hummed…and hummed…and hummed…the same song, over and over again, apparently oblivious to the other patients' glances and grins…….I suppose you had to be there but it was amusingly quaint and made for a very pleasant visit……
Meanwhile back in the Valley, Cheryl Schrader at The Redwood Drive-In, who does so much wonderful work in finding homes for lost/abandoned/unwanted pets around these parts, informs me that the Animal Caravan is up and running once again. This mobile veterinarian organization offers a number of pet related services and she wanted to emphasize that the major problem of too many unwanted kittens and puppies in the Valley can be prevented by the neuter and spaying program the Caravan offers. Furthermore, readers may not be aware, but there is financial assistance offered to those who cannot afford this service. Please try to stop this awful yet very easily preventable situation of unwanted pets and contact Cheryl at 895-3785 to find out when the Caravan is next in town… or the Caravan itself at 961-2526…….
On a lighter note, I offer many thanks to the readers who have "thrown me their scraps" over the past few weeks, particularly Mendocino Magpie and The Old Bat from the High Roller Region. In response to the latter's request I zoomed down to Lumberjack Pizza in Boonville and can reveal that they are open Monday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday from 4pm to 8pm and Sunday 2pm to 7pm; closed Tuesday and Wednesday. As for the pizza itself I have heard a wide range of comments - it seems to be an American birthright to always state one's definitive and unwavering opinion of any pizza. I personally have enjoyed the pizza and have found the simpler the better, although adding a little squirrel or gopher always helps…I'll leave the final words to a good friend from New York City, seemingly the home of most pizza 'experts', who after a visit to Lumberjack commentated in his rich Brooklyn accent , "Hey, that's a f***in' decent pie, man"…..Old Bat goes on to recommend, not surprisingly I suppose, the 'bat guano burgers' at the Owl Café in Cloverdale. Now I'm not sure about that particular delicacy but on my flights to the Bay Area I do frequently stop at TheOwl to enjoy their excellent breakfasts……and while we are talking about Cloverdale restaurants you cannot go wrong with the superb (and huge) chili burger and fries at The Hamburger Ranch and Pasta Farm at the end of Highway 128…..To add to this week's 'food update' I should inform you that Libby's splendid Mexican restaurant in downtown Philo has re-opened and is satisfying its many customers from Tuesdays to Saturdays; 11.30am - 2.30pm for lunch and 5pm - 8.30pm for dinner…..
Moving on…As for the 'crop circles' which Old Bat inquires about on Gschwend Road between Philo and Navarro, I have indeed seen them. However, they are not 'crop circles', rather labyrinth's or earthwork sculptures which are interactive art pieces created by "the world's leading labyrinth expert", Doctor Alex Champion, who resides on the Upper Gschwend Road. They are something to behold and can provide a source of energy, or a place for meditation, perhaps even a spiritual experience…..or, in my case, a perfect place after a long flight to relax and share a beer with a fellow Vulture or two….For more information check out www.earthsymbols.com or perhaps pick up Dr. Champion's book, 'Earth Mazes' which he confides "is somewhere between being out of date and a classic"…..
As I fly up and down through the Valley I always take a few seconds to check out the most recent design high up on the hillside of the Hulbert Ranch on the opposite side of Highway 128 to Gowan's Oak Tree fruit and veggie stand. For a few days last week the resident artist, Monti Hulbert, had some strange 'hieroglyphics' created out of hub caps etc and his 'announcement' to all who were interested was far from clear. However, there can be no doubt as to what his message is for the week of Valentine's Day - the word 'LOVE' beams out from the hillside to one and all. Nice job, Monti !
Apology # 17 : To the resident at the north end of Boonville who was mentioned in last week's column as someone for whom Helpful Hint # 23 (concerning precautions to take when starting an outdoor fire) came too late. Intensive inquiries by my crack team of roving reporters have uncovered the real story and now I must apologize for last week's erroneous report. Apparently the resident was not "blown back off their feet" and did not "burn their eyebrows in the process". In truth what really happened was that the person concerned was merely "engulfed in flames"…..I will not make this mistake again…..
Another Friday Night…..and this Turkey Vulture's social life continued to follow it's somewhat predictable yet most enjoyable pattern - out and about; a bit of this; a little of that; and hopefully quite a lot of the other - as I hit the nightspots of Boonville. The Anderson Valley (A.V.) Brewery Tasting Room had a crowd of twenty plus people at 6pm and bartender/manager Todd Capuzelo, attired in his usual snazzy shirt and tie, was almost sweating to get the pints poured - almost but no quite. As usual, a number of the Brewery Crew were present and with the new 'regulars' turning up most weeks this is a good little scene for an after work drink and social hour, or three !…..The Buckhorn Saloon at 8pm was also quite busy for a Friday in February. With the always entertaining and lovely Sara behind the bar, Pilar in the kitchen performing her magic along with Laura, and Joanne and owner Diana helping to see that everything went smoothly and making sure everyone felt welcome, it was a good time for all as the beer flowed freely, the chicken wings were devoured messily, the dice tumbled noisily, and the laughter shrieked often……
Despite the miserable weather on Sunday, I felt the need to get to the Coast so, after a quick snack at the side of the road, I flew off to the town of Mendocino. It was Valentine's Day weekend, romance would be in the air at this most picturesque of coastal towns, and you all know how romantic a Turkey Vulture can be (but that is a tale for another time)…In the meantime I am only at liberty to share with you my 'carrion' for the day - "Mixed green salad with warmed marinated goat cheese and Niman Ranch bacon; Yucatecan -Thai spicy crab cakes; Niman Ranch top sirloin in Pt. Reyes blue cheese; balsamic and rosemary roasted free-range chicken with garlic mashed potatoes; and chocolate sherbet with toasted almond butter cookies; accompanied by a bottle of some delicious and well -priced Eagle Point petite syrah !"… All wonderfully cooked and delightfully served by professional, knowledgeable and friendly staff at the superb Café Beaujolais - surely one of the finest restaurants in Northern California. If you get the chance, treat yourself and a loved one for that 'special occasion'…..
Try to stay out of the ditches…and let us prey….Turkey Vulture

#11 - February 9th, 2005

The lovely weather continued and so it was an opportunity for a casual flight up and down the coast - what a pleasure it proved to be. On the way to Gualala I passed the usual "Road Work Ahead" signs and was very pleased to see the guys hard at work and perhaps more interestingly the two fellas holding the "Stop/Slow" signs each gave a slight wave and a smile. Whoever said these guys tended to be miserable and surly should re-examine the facts and think twice before opening their beaks !…
It was while in Gualala that I stopped for some refreshments and on leaving the Surf Supermarket with a sandwich and bottle of water I was regaled by a gentleman who had clearly been drinking and was insistent on sharing his thoughts with anyone who was passing by. With a six-pack at his side he caught my eye and questioned whether I could spare any change. Having spent a fair bit of time in San Francisco I have become immune to this but for some reason, perhaps based on nostalgia as I now reside in a virtual pan-handle free Anderson Valley, I did slow down and search my packet for lose change. "What ya got to eat there, man ?" he inquired, noticing the sandwich bag under my arm. "A tuna sandwich." I replied…..He hesitated for a few seconds before thoughtfully saying, "You know, I do like tuna but it's not as good as tiger meat."….I smiled and offered him some change, saying, " Who'd have thought , eh ? - I'll have to remember that."…He knowingly replied, "Oh yeah, you should try some tiger - it tastes just like monkey."…..I thanked him for the recommendation and headed out of town…..
Helpful Hint # 23 : It's still the time of year for burn days so may I offer a little advice. It is not wise to completely soak a burn pile with gasoline and then add another couple of gallons before throwing a lighted match on to the sodden mixture of combustible materials as you stand nearby to watch the result. You might find yourself blown back off your feet a few yards and burning your eyebrows in the process……For a confused resident from the north end of Boonville this announcement has come a little too late…..
Well it was a couple of wild and wonderful days in downtown Boonville this past weekend with three, once-a-year events taking place and I was fortunate to be able to attend all three…..First, on Saturday night, it was the Crab Feed at the Mendocino County Fairgrounds - arguably the year's largest gathering attended almost exclusively by Valley dwellers. The older Valley families, the wine crowd, the Brewery crew, the Hispanic community, the 'Airport' Gang, etc, they all show up at this fantastic event which raises money for St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church and has become one of the hottest tickets in town. Now this is a crab "Feed", not a dinner, and thus it really is a sight to behold with eating bibs provided to protect clothing - certainly necessary for the serious guzzlers like myself….Very well organized and efficient, the High School kids and other volunteer waiters and waitresses managed to get the vast amounts of crab (800 pounds I was informed !), salad, hot bread, and splendid wines to all three hundred assembled guests without a hitch. Everyone was completely stuffed, as befitting of any real "Feed", and even us Vultures were incapable of devouring another morsel. Furthermore, being an event almost exclusively supported by locals, it is a great opportunity to meet, greet, and actually socialize with those you normally are only able to wave to or speak briefly with. The raffle was a big success with a wide array of prizes on hand and when the last person was finally 'ejected' (and that would be me !) one hoped that the Church had greatly benefited and viewed the evening as much of a success as those in attendance surely did….
After such a night I was very hard-pressed to be present at the first annual Boonville Bowl on Sunday morning at the High School practice field. However, three cups of very strong Costa Rican blend and a couple of Mimosas (80% sparkling wine; 20% orange juice) seemed to work their magic and I flew down to the event just in time for kick-off. Unlike the "Other Bowl Game" to be played later that day, this was all about the football and not the glamour and glitz. The sides were led by captains, Jason Schrider and Jason Page (two of the High School Football coaches) and were comprised of various guys who talk about sports as they drink in the local beer-drinking establishments, many of whom claim to be former sports' "stars" of some standing. After all the 'talking the talk' it was now time to 'walk the walk' …..….. Appropriately some former cheerleaders were on the sidelines although their 'routines' seemed to consist mainly of sipping Bloody Mary's and talking, paying little attention to the sporting events unfolding in front of them. It didn't seem to matter as the two teams battled both for supremacy on the field and bragging rights in the bar afterwards, oblivious to the partying in the 'crowd'. After a close first half, the team led by Player/Coach Page pulled away in the second half as Player/Coach Schrider's players clearly began to think more about their first beer in the bar rather than their defensive responsibilities on the field! The final score was a convincing eight touchdowns to four with the m.v.p. award going to Todd Capuzelo of the A.V. Brewery Tasting Room, and honorable mentions to Tino Martinez, also of the brewery, and Tom ' Tight End' Towey, sometimes of the Boonville Hotel. On the losing side, special mention should go to Olie 'The Catch' Erikson and Neil 'Safe Hands' Atkins, both reviving memories of their former glories on the field of play…..
Naturally, at the final whistle, the weary players immediately headed off for post game refreshments and assembled initially at the Brewery Tasting Room. A few ales were enjoyed at this venue before the core group headed down to the Buckhorn Saloon for the' 'Other Bowl Game' of the day, featuring the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles, and of course, the tasty bar snacks, complimentary hors d'ouevres, and fine beers……The game featured the usual over-the-top festivities beforehand although at half time, despite the obligatory firework display, I thought it was a refreshing performance by Paul McCartney and his fellow musicians who were showcased as just that - musicians, and very professional ones too…Justin and Janet who ?? … Everything becomes a little vague as the game headed for it's almost inevitable conclusion - the Patriots always seemed to have an extra gear to go to if they had to, although the Eagles did provide a better opposition than had been expected by many and, although underdogs by seven points, only lost by three. I arrived home at the Nest just in time to watch The Simpsons but after some early laughs it too seemed to become somewhat formulaic and I fell into a deep sleep…..
I've since made a full recovery. Now it's a cold Monday evening but the wood fire is crackling and the Nest is cozy and warm….and you know what… it's time to prey……Turkey Vulture…

#10 - February 2nd, 2005

After my excesses out and about on the town these past few nights, I am currently recovering from my exertions with the help of the best hang-over cure known to vulture/man/woman -kind - a spicy Bloody Mary, naturally. It will result in a slow descent into a gibberish-filled stupor quite soon and I will have to pay the price for my excesses at some point - maybe tomorrow when I visit The County Dump…In the meantime I'd better cracking on with some words of vulture 'wisdom' (?)…..
Speaking of 'gibberish' I could make no rhyme nor reason of the letter which led off last week's "Letters to the Editor" section in this paper. I suspected, but I'm far from sure, that the perpetrator was questioning the use of a pseudonym for this column. It's too bad that the writer failed to make much sense with his/her remarks as I could then have perhaps written a reasonable response. Furthermore, it would now seem I am not alone with an apparent hidden identity as the 'Anonymous Little White Truck Driver', who wrote the letter, is presently shrouded in a mystery of their own making. Is he/she a vertically-challenged Caucasian or is it the truck which is small and white ? …Minds with little else to think about want to know……
Obviously Johnny Carson was not a local figure and his recent passing would not normally be a topic up for discussion in this column. Nevertheless, he was a popular figure up here at The Nest and there is a local link. The late Bob Glover of Gschwend Road in Philo had appeared on The Tonight Show where Chipmunk (as Bob was known) shared with Carson and America his knowledge of, and ability to speak, the local dialect of Boontling. In ways such as this, and with his middle-America persona, Carson seemed to have his own "bird's eye view' of the state of the nation for thirty years. Fred Gardner's piece on the man who defined late-night television in last week's issue was an excellent read and the tributes, whether from George Bush, Bette Midler, or The New York Times, have been consistently generous. It's only my opinion of course but I thought Carson a true master of his craft, never failing to display great style and timing…..Leno, Letterman, and the assortment of mediocre hosts we have been 'entertained' with since Carson's retirement in 1992 couldn't even carry one of the great man's checked sports jackets. As long-time straight man, Ed McMahon, might holler, "Theeeeere goes, Johnny !"... For myself, I wish to simply bid farewell and offer my thanks for the memories……
Now to the Boonville social scene……One evening last week I stopped by Lauren's Restaurant and thoroughly enjoyed the display of photographs exhibited by Fred Martin. Taken back in 1957, they feature the Cordillera Blanca mountains and the surrounding areas in Peru and make a wonderful portrait of the region in another time and place. It is worth a visit (as is the food at Lauren's, I may add) and one can only hope that we get a chance to view more recent examples of Fred's work covering the past forty eight years…..
Thanks to the proprietors of Lumberjack Pizza for informing me, via the words of 'SBF' in these pages last week, that they have been open on their usual days and times all through the holiday period. I failed to point this out and I apologize for the sloppy oversight on my behalf - I'll be down for a squirrel and mushroom, with extra cheese, later this week….
So it's taken a few paragraphs but we're finally into this week's food news….The Redwood Drive-In has re-opened it's restaurant part of the operation (the gas station has been open all through the winter) and is open from 6am to 3pm for a couple of weeks before returning to their full, regular hours at that time…..Libby's Mexican Restaurant in Philo will re-open on Friday, February 4th - it’s been too long so watch you don't get trampled in the rush…..Now I've been informed, but have not checked myself, that The Boonville Hotel has also virtually returned to their normal hours. Therefore it seems as if the Valley is just about back to 'full strength' in the restaurant department and that news makes me foam at the beak…..
An old friend from San Francisco visited Hummingbird, myself, and the assorted flock of characters up here at The Nest a few days ago and we headed out to the coast for lunch and a few beers. We ended up at Dick's place in Mendocino and sat at the bar where we could enjoy the wonderful view of the headlands and ocean. Incidentally this view, including the reversal of the name "s'kciD" on the bar window, is emblazoned on the front of the bar's t-shirts and I've always thought this to be one of the better designs produced for any establishment.…..Anyway, our friend poured his heart out to us about the tough time he was having with his girlfriend. He's a good man with a kind heart but he has long suffered from confusion about his sexuality. To all intents and purposes he is bi-sexual but he has always had a very hard time in admitting to his gay tendencies. As the drink flowed he let his guard down a little and talked about these gay leanings and finally at one point he grinned and confessed, "I've personally never slept with a gay man…but I have slept with a man who has"……
As I flew into Boonville on Sunday morning for some breakfast I noticed a number of vehicles were at the High School. I entered the gym and was met with the spectacle of a very intense soccer practice taking place, orchestrated by Coach Steve Sparks. (Coach Tom Smith, with son Olie, is still in Asia, safe and sound after their tsunami experience and currently in Vietnam near to the Chinese border having spent a few days in Hanoi). The kids at practice were a mix of current high schoolers and prospects from the 7th and 8th grade and according to Coach Sparks the progress they are making bodes well for future. He did say a few more bodies out there would really help so if any of the players are reading this - "Get yourselves to practice - there's a championship to be won next season!"…. .Following the soccer practice came the 5th & 6th grade basketball players under the excellent tutelage of Terry Eubanks. Another competitive game ensued and it would appear that these training sessions play a big part in the successes of the High School sports' programs to this point….
After my visit to the High School I flew down into the heart of Boonville for breakfast at The Buckhorn Saloon. I enjoyed a delicious chicken fried steak, with 'hobo' potatoes and eggs, sour dough toast, and coffee - plus the complimentary mimosa - all for less than $10 ! They are going to expand the breakfast hours to 7.30am until Noon on Saturday and Sunday and have also revamped the main menu and offer a number of well-priced meal deals. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, the food here has been greatly improved over the past couple of years and the whole menu is now an excellent complement to the ales they pour. They will also be having a Super Bowl Party with free items from the menu and Happy Hour prices on the beer…..Just to pre-empt any cynical readers before they lash out with a comment, I should state that I am not on The Buckhorn's pay-roll... although they do allow me first dibs on any carrion which may fall within their grounds !...Meanwhile, I just observe, analyze, and eat - surely what any self-respecting Vulture is born to do…..
Let us prey, Turkey Vulture…..