#9 - January 26th, 2005

Well my 'working' week began last Tuesday with a flight down Yorkville way to spend an afternoon in the company of one of the Valley's finest shepherds, some eager young border collies, and a flock of ewes and new born lambs. Exciting, eh ?…Anyway, it was a beautiful day up in the highlands, "a perfect drinking day", I observed, but the shepherd had work to do with lambs tails to be docked and castrations to be performed so the beers remained on ice for later. Furthermore the ewes were also in no mood to relax and hang out in the sun. Their young lambs, some born that very day, needed protection from the attentions of the unrelenting and always attentive sheep dogs so it was an afternoon of farm work which confronted us…..
Three hours later it had all gone very well with no altercations between dog and sheep nor any of the potential chaos of a scattered flock all over the fields. The ewes and their lambs were in the corral and all that remained was to herd the remaining thirty or so sheep into a separate field where fresh grazing land awaited. It was at this point that one of the younger, inexperienced dogs went in too close and spooked the flock so they bolted up the steep terrain and over the top of the hill out of sight. The shepherd had two choices. He could struggle up the hill with his aging knees and give instructions to the dogs to herd the sheep back down or he could stand where he was, leaning on his crook, and send his top dog off alone to do the work he is bred to do without instruction. It had been an exhausting afternoon already so it came as no surprise when he chose the second option, although it might result in the sheep bolting further away if the dog made a mistake…With the dog at his heels he whispered, "On the sheep" and off the dog went, tearing up the hill in pursuit of his 'prey'…"Ya gotta like that !", I exclaimed…..
Ten minutes of silence ensued…Then at the brow of the hill, several woolly heads appeared and they were soon joined by more and in a matter of minutes the whole flock was heading down the hillside. Soon they were through the gate into the field, followed all the way by the ever watchful and extremely hard-working dog. It was a very welcome sight for the shepherd and he could not hide his delight. "That dog has saved my old knees time and time again. It's not like you see at County Fairs when a dog herds three sheep on flat land with fences all around. No, this is the real thing - a long way from beer tents and trophies, I can assure you"…As we sipped our beers looking down on to the Valley I had nothing but admiration for this marvelous combination of man and dog…….
Unusual Sightings in the Valley - Number 37….Last Wednesday afternoon I drove past two young women , well-dressed in their early twenties, each quite separate from the other about a mile apart, walking along the shoulder on Highway 128 in opposite directions. No vehicles were anywhere to be seen, they were not hitchhiking, there were no signs of distress, and thus no reason I could think of as to what they were doing. This is a far from common occurrence, and I figured that two attractive women walking alone along the Valley floor may need the assistance of a gallant Vulture so I turned back and pulled alongside one of them as she passed Gowan's Oak tree. I introduced myself as a 'local observer' and asked if I could be of any assistance. She thanked me and explained that she and another woman were scouting out the location with a view to possibly making an independent film here in the Valley. "What sort of film", I inquired, and all she would say was that it would be about the unique mix of people we have up here in Anderson Valley…I could get no further information out of her…..Oh, oh, is this a sign that the apocalypse is almost here ???
Moving on…..Now I know I am just a vulture to most of you but I do take a certain amount of pride in my appearance so it came to pass last Thursday that I felt the need for a visit to The Hair Station in downtown Boonville. The salon is owned and operated by Donna Gallo who does a wonderful job for nowhere near the prices of similar establishments in Ukiah and Fort Bragg. She has the support and custom of many people in the Valley, from the senior ladies to the young trend-setters. It's small but warm and friendly, and as Hummingbird commented, you might just come away from there looking, "quite handsome"…..
Another 'feel-good' place to visit is the Anderson Valley Farm Supply and the knowledgeable couple who work there - Dave and Nancy Gowan. They have words of wisdom on many topics concerned with country life, agriculture, and farming and do not hesitate to share their know-how. Furthermore, Nancy never fails to ask about your pets' well-being if she is aware of any problems and Dave gives more accurate weather forecasts than any 'experts' on the radio or radar-aided weather websites. It should also be noted that they have some of the county's best alfalfa hay, which is not really my 'cup of tea' but a number of close acquaintances of mine absolutely love it…..
Having laid low up in The Nest for most of the week after my excesses in the City the previous weekend, I decided to venture out on Friday evening and headed for a few pints of premium ale at the Anderson Valley Brewery Tasting Room. The beers were tasting particularly good and there was a good crowd in attendance, and it was not just the hard-drinking employees ! A large part of the crowd was made up of those often referred to as 'The Airport Crowd' on account of their tendency to either live near to the airport or their enjoyment of flying planes…or both. They enjoy a weekly get-together on most Friday nights, usually at The Buckhorn Saloon, but this week they had ventured a little further afield and seemed to have an excellent time. Obviously with their interest in flying we have much in common and I look forward to our next meeting and chat…..
Talking of meeting up with friends, it appears to be a characteristic of country life that so many conversations with friends and acquaintances, whether at the store, the post office, the gas station, etc., seem to end up with the phrase, "We must get together for dinner or something…" I'm sure that in most cases this is said with every intention of being carried out at some point in the near future. However, in my experience, and that of many others I believe, it frequently does not happen. Country life dictates that very often weeks, even months, may pass before you see that person again and at that point the same intentions are once more declared. What does this mean ? Are we genuinely trying to get together or is it just a throw-away line showing politeness ? Or perhaps it's just me ? I think I should be told either way…..
Finally, regular readers may have noticed that I tend to mention the topic of food in all my columns at some point - not surprising given my name I would think ! Therefore, to keep my reputation in tact I am not about to finish a column without mentioning this most important of subjects. So may I just mention that I really enjoy the commercials on The Coast radio station (KOZT - 95.3 FM) which give mouth-watering descriptions of the food on the menus of the various restaurants in and around the Valley. I'm not sure whether it's very effective marketing or I'm just 'easy' but, whatever it is, I do know that they make me just want to zoom down to Highway 128 and get myself something fresh to munch on…..Remember, eating out is fun……
Hungrily yours, Mr. Vulture.

#8 - January 19th, 2005

Well, the rains have subsided for now although they will inevitably return a number of times before the end of the 'season' arrives. Many of the Valley's backroads are not faring too well and are in need of repair before the damage becomes a serious problem and one such road is in the Yorkville Highlands. Last week during the rains I was driving along this road when I passed a local sheep farmer trying to dig his 4 x 4 out of the roadside ditch where he had skidded. He had been trying to round up his new batch of recently born lambs and I gave him some assistance in getting the vehicle out of the thick mud. After about twenty minutes we were successful and as we stood with our celebratory beers in hand, surveying the lambs and their mothers in the field before us, he looked me up and down, covered in mud and drenched from the steady rainfall as I was, and commented wryly, " You know, Vulture, despite what people may think, the lambing season isn't all glamour, "…..
Following on from my comments about the lack of choice for evening dining in the Valley over the holidays, 'SBF' of the Anderson Valley Advertiser staff wrote in last week's column, 'Valley People", that we should be aware that Café Glad in downtown Boonville is open from 7am to 2pm every weekday and had been serving fine "pastries, coffee, and lunch" between those hours throughout the holiday period. This is wonderful news and their efforts are appreciated but such hours are not really going to help with dining out at night ,which was the point I was making. Still, on a positive note, 'SBF' addressed me as 'Mr. Vulture' and I certainly appreciate the fact that the family name is finally being given some long overdue respect, deservedly or not…..Hopefully I have not upset anyone with my comments about the dining situation but, in case I have, if anyone is thinking of retaliating they should be aware that a turkey vulture's number one form of defense when under some form of attack or threat is to immediately vomit. Oh, yes, readers, I'm talking about 'throwing-up' some of the more recent additions to the vulture's stomach. This will usually produce the most pungent and vile deposit imaginable resulting in those who have made the attack or threat disappearing promptly - and most importantly, not to return….
On a related topic (to food establishments, not vile deposits), as reported here last week I can now confirm the permanent, for now (?), closing of The Horn of Zeese and the corresponding extension of hours and changes in the menu and beer line-up at The Buckhorn Saloon. I am aware that the new beers include Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Red Tail Ale, and Fat Tire, which is all the rage in San Francisco although not nearly as good as the Anderson Valley Brewery's Poleeko Gold in my humble opinion…..
I had planned to be at The Buckhorn for their new breakfast 'scene' but I heard that a very good friend of mine who lives in San Francisco had been attacked for no apparent reason by total strangers as he walked home from work one evening and I wished to visit him in hospital. He had stopped at a liquor store in the Tenderloin district to get a six-pack to help sooth the aches and pains after a hard week on a construction site. It was around 5pm and still light with the streets packed with people as he walked out of the store. He had taken a couple of steps when.. bam !, bam !, he received two crushing blows to the head with a baseball bat. He went to ground immediately and can remember nothing else. According to by-standers, none of whom thought they were safe to step in to help, two youths continued to beat my friend with the bat as they grabbed the wallet from his pocket containing a few hundred dollars as he had just cashed his work check. He was rushed to S.F. General where emergency operations took place. He had a fractured skull, broken upper and lower jaw, broken nose, and both eye sockets were fractured. His face was a complete mess.
As we spoke together last weekend, not easy as his jaw was wired shut and he was in considerable pain despite the medications, he was a very bitter man. "F*ck this place, man," he mumbled, "What had I done to upset those f*ckers ?…god, this hurts so much…" He knew as well as I that he was just a random victim. He will have his health bills paid for by S.F.'s Victims of Violent Crime law but apparently the disability payments from the government will not cover all his rent so he is planning to move into a hostel. The police have already announced that the case is virtually closed with no hope of any witnesses stepping forward and no leads whatsoever. Having spent nearly two decades in the City, most of it in the 'wild and crazy' bar business, and now residing up here in the relative safety and tranquility of the Valley I had already decided that I would never go back to living in such an environment. The incident will not be in the papers or on the news and according to friends still there, in and around the S.F. 'scene' , similar occurrences are happening every day. It is all very sad…..
On a much lighter note, whilst in the City, I experienced an evening at the critically acclaimed Buca di Beppo restaurant, south of Market Street on Howard Street. It is an extremely vibrant place, very noisy in fact, but with a festive, party atmosphere, very good family-style Italian dining, decent wine selection, and reasonable prices. If anyone is thinking of having a family get-together in San Francisco I can think of no better place for a large group from eight to twenty eight !…..Just thought you should know…..
Despite my absence, I had made arrangements for one of my top investigative reporters up here at The Nest to check in on the breakfast scene at The Buckhorn Saloon now happening from 7am to 11am. The lovely Hummingbird took the assignment and was most impressed with her biscuits and gravy, over-easy eggs, sausage patties, and first rate coffee. Her friend had some excellent and plentiful pancakes, the mimosas ('champagne' and o.j.) were perfect, and the service was to be commended. Perhaps some of this should come as no surprise to those who used to frequent the Horn of Zeese as in the kitchen it was the Horn's former cook, D'Anne Wallace, and daughter Heather was waiting tables, along with the Buckhorn's own, always hospitable, Diana Charles. There was a decent crowd in there and hopefully the word will get out and things can go from strength to strength. The Valley has to have a good breakfast place year round …..and the serving of mimosas is a wonderful addition to any breakfast, in the opinion of those in the Vulture 'Family' that is…..
Finally this week, I would like to mention that as I stopped in Boonville to fill up with gas for my trip south, I chatted briefly with our local sheriff, Deputy Scott Nordin. We exchanged pleasantries, talked briefly about the N.F.L. play-offs, discussed the possibilities of arranging a poker game - for entertainment purposes only of course, and as I pulled away to head of to S.F., he jokingly cautioned, "keep it under 100". You've got to like that kind of interchange and advice - what a great place to live………..
Have a happy, healthy week……Let us prey, Turkey Vulture…..

#7 - January 12th, 2005

A deep sense of sadness settled over the sheep fields of The Valley this past week with the news that Hugh the Ram had passed away in his sleep at the ripe old age of eleven, approximately. This wily veteran was particularly well known around these parts for both his sexual prowess and the charming way he had with the ewes, who would never fail to respond to his romantic approaches - not to mention his famously enormous scrotum sack and testicles. Playboy's Hugh Hefner, his namesake and mentor, would have been proud….

….But I digress…..In his later years Hugh fell quite ill and at one point a little over a year ago he was not expected to make it through the night - the buzzards were circling. However, he was still breathing the next morning and it was decided to send him, hog-tied in the back of a pick-up truck, to the Retirement Home for Elderly Ewes in Philo where perhaps he might show some signs of recovery if surrounded by a number of his former 'ewe-friends'.

After a twenty-five mile drive he arrived at his new pasture and was unloaded to the ground on a tarp, coughing and spluttering, eyes rolling in his head, nose running profusely. It looked like the end was fast approaching but at that moment a small group of four ewes walked curiously by and 'baaahed' seductively. The effect on the old fella was immediate. He slowly stood up, peered towards the ewes, and proceeded to stagger unsteadily towards them. Soon he was amongst them, no doubt pulling the wool over their eyes in that suave way he had, and the humans who were present to observe this interchange jokingly commented that he'd be 'mounting' them later that night….

How right they were!…. Yes, despite his obvious physical difficulties in getting around, plus the continuous snotty nose which even the most promiscuous of ewes would have second thoughts about being around, at some point in the ensuing few days he must have 'sweet-talked' the ewes and performed his duties as a Ram because five months later four healthy lambs were born !.

He continued to hang out with his offspring for the remainder of his days and since his death, in their presence I might add, they have been somewhat confused and lost. This will fade of course and then it will be the annoying border collies nipping at their heels which they have to worry about. Hugh's body was taken out into the far reaches of the property and left for the 'birds' to do what they do best - some very unsavory characters I must say, and not related to me in any way, I assure you. He will be missed but all who knew him should be grateful that he lived for exactly one very productive and happy year to the day from his arrival at The Home……R.I.P. Hugh….

If anyone is still reading, I have to report more disappointing news with my observation that The Horn of Zeese breakfast and lunch establishment in downtown Boonville has closed its doors. Not however, as in the case of many local businesses, as a temporary measure over the holidays. Apparently it was a decision taken by the local authorities with regard to certain health codes and in particular inadequate refrigeration. This really is too bad as I had just thoroughly enjoyed a delicious chicken-fried steak and eggs breakfast there a few days earlier and business seemed quite good. Hopefully something can be done but from what I am hearing it is not looking promising at this point…..

Whilst we are on the subject of food, and regular readers will be aware that it is a topic which appears in this column frequently, last week a number of people were gathered at The Brewery Tasting Room to watch the finale of the College Football season and by halftime, after numerous ales had been guzzled, many in attendance were hungry. The peanuts at the bar were excellent and plentiful but hardly enough. What was open and serving food at 7pm ? Everywhere in The Valley had either closed for the holidays or just simply because it was a Tuesday night. Everywhere, that is, except Lauren's restaurant and Moya's Tacos and on this occasion it was burritos all round and the night was saved….. Many thanks go out to both establishments and hopefully people will appreciate this 'dedication to duty'…..Apparently they do - two nights later one of my assistants up here at The Nest was downtown and, being a top-notch investigative reporter, decided to make a follow-up visit to Lauren's - it was packed and ya gotta like that !……

A number of our local restaurateurs are no doubt taking a well-earned break at this time of the year but the question remains - when is someone going to keep their restaurant open over the holidays ? The locals would support it I'm sure as they'd like to get out after all the sitting around at home. As for the visitors staying at the many bed & breakfast's at this time of year, a number of which are fully booked so I hear, surely they need some place to eat in the evening and they can't go to either Lauren's or Moya's every night. At this time there is very little choice…..


Final food references of the week - Public service announcement #1 - The best day to get your produce in the Valley would be Tuesdays at The Boontberry store in Boonville when they get their fresh 'stuff' in - it doesn't get much better than this…..#2 - Despite the wishes by many residents to the contrary, and previous comments in these pages, it would appear that the convenience stores at the Deep End of The Valley continue to close at 5pm - this is not very convenient…..

As I left the Philo post office last Wednesday my ears were assaulted by the roar of a logging truck as it thundered into town doing at least 45 mph and not slowing down. If anyone had been turning out of the parking lot there or at Lemon's market they would surely have been ploughed under. Even a very hard-of-hearing pedestrian would have heard the truck approaching but at that speed they would have had no chance whatsoever of getting out of the way. Fortunately most drivers, both locals and "brightlighters" alike, now slow down through town and the recently installed warning lights and speed indicators have been very effective according to locals. Nevertheless, it should be of little surprise, given that a number of loggers clearly believe they are 'The Kings of the Road', that the following day one of their ilk came unstuck near to Gowan's Oak Tree and took out some power lines. Fortunately nobody was hurt but the incident left a vast area without power from the Greenwood Ridge, through to Philo, and inland to Comptche….. "Kings of the Road" ? - in cases like this more like Jesters wouldn't you say ?

I read with interest and was somewhat accepting of the criticism by 'ms' in last week's issue. My comments regarding the Mendocino Road Workers and their liberal use of the "Prepare to Stop" signs (when they are not working so there is no need to stop at all) were perhaps a little harsh. I briefly thought this at the time of writing but soon got over it. It's not a big deal but worth a mention I decided and I do not think it was "unnecessary" as 'ms' wrote last week. Many people have made similar comments and I was a little surprised at the leap to their defense made by 'ms' as I was not questioning the road guys' work ethic, merely their organization…'ms' states that they are an "easy target" and he is correct but perhaps he could try to appreciate that a curmudgeonly Turkey Vulture has to do whatever is necessary when searching for prey and the weakest/"easy targets" will always be taken first at times when the pickings are slim…..
Have a good week…Yours hungrily, Turkey Vulture.

#6 - January 5th, 2005

Dear Readers, it's good to be back in the Valley and to be greeted by the much needed rain. As always many people find time to complain about the weather but we've been living on borrowed time with regard to this and I'm sure those 'in the know' realize that it is very necessary and long overdueŠ..

Speaking of the weather we are obviously experiencing nothing in comparison to the tragic events in Asia with last week's tsunami affecting many countries and millions of lives. At the last 'count' the death figures were over 150,000 and rising. Hopefully all the billions in promised aid will arrive promptly and equitably. Although this was covered in last week's issue, there may be some of you unaware that our local High School Soccer Coach, Tom Smith, and his wife, Val who teaches at the Elementary School, were in southern Thailand at the time. Along with sons, Olie and Jesse, they were kayaking on the coast when the disaster struck but other than some cuts and bruises they are all fine. The whole family have quite a tale to tell including their attempts to rescue others on and around the Aonong and Railway Beaches where a number of people perished. I believe Val and Jesse are returning to the Valley and school this week (Jesse is at Stanford) but originally Tom and Olie were planning to continue on their travels until late February. At this point who knowsŠ..


On a lighter note, this year's prizes offered by the local Chamber of Commerce for the best Christmas decorations in the Valley were awarded to The Buckhorn Saloon ( commercial establishments), and Shorty and Betty Adams (residential). The results were mentioned in this paper a couple of weeks ago but I know many of you missed the news. Well done to both winners - their efforts were really excellent as anyone who drove through downtown Boonville will surely agreeŠ..


Talking of The Buckhorn, as I do, another good crowd was on hand last week for the final Monday Night Football game of the season. Hopefully people will continue to turn out to enjoy the beers and food and to meet and greet one another as the dark evenings of the winter months continue - it's a lot of fun and you will definitely know some people in attendanceŠ. Thanks to the efforts of Pillar Duran and the gang in the kitchen the food is very good although I do find a number of the items on the menu a little over-priced. Anyway, please do not believe the those people who continue to make negative comments about the food - that's simply not true anymore - just ask these nay-sayers when was the last time they ate there !Š..Š..Meanwhile, if you want an alternative for a few drinks (no food though) , the Tasting Room at Ken Allen's Anderson Valley Brewery now has wine by the glass and a large screen t.v. with satellite connections. As a result football play-offs and basketball is now available as you imbibe the wonderful ales which the Brewery continues to produceŠ. I must just add that it was as a result of the efforts of this Turkey and a few other 'experts in the field' that the t.v. is now installed - "that's o.k., don't mention it, Ken, just buy me a Poleeko Gold next time I'm in !"Š


Signs that the rainy season has begun : No 1 - As I passed the Navarro Store last Friday nobody was playing horseshoes outside!!Š.Too bad - there is something comforting about the sight of horseshoes being tossed at any time of the day, any day of the weekŠ..


Moving onŠ.As I have probably mentioned here before, a visit to The County Dump on Mountain View Road always cheers up any self respecting Turkey and so to go twice in one day, as I did last Wednesday, was like winning the lottery !Š..The always pleasant and welcoming Ron was working and it appears that he may have secured the job on a full-time basis - good for himŠ..Meanwhile I hear that the previous Dump Man, Jay, is now working at the Meyer Family Cellars winery south of Boonville on Highway 128. His 'boss' is Matt Meyer, one of the finer wine makers in the Valley - currently producing a superb Syrah - and a very nice man too. This is all good news for fans of The Dump and wine tipplers alike!


In between my two visits to The Dump I stopped for a little lunch at Moya Tacos in downtown Boonville. They seem to get better every time I go and now offer a 'smaller' burrito for just $4 - I had one, chicken with everything, and it was delicious Šand just the right amount without requiring a nap immediately afterwardsŠŠAs I wound my way along the Valley floor I passed the Sheriff lying in wait for crazy speeding tourists in the heart of Philo. We waved at each other (perhaps because I was doing 30 mph ?) and I thought - "that's cool when the officer of the law smiles and waves on seeing you - only in the Country!"Š.


More weatherŠ..Following the heavy rains of last Wednesday night I made my way to the coast on Thursday morning. As Highway 128 wound along aside the River Navarro the muddy, creamy-coffee colored waters were clearly rising. At a couple of points (mile markers 4.5 and 5.48) they were just a few feet from breaking over the banks and at many points the road was littered with many small fallen branches causing myself and other drivers to swerve to avoid an accident of some sort. "I'm sure the authorities are on top of this and will be here any minute", I thought. Lo and behold, as I approached the coast I saw two forest rangers having a nice chat alongside the road as they munched pastries and sipped coffee. They were probably formulating a 'game-plan' as to how to deal with the debris, or perhaps more likely, given the recent actions by this government agency regarding the killing of domestic dogs in the area, they were formulating ideas to shoot any ducks that may swim harmlessly by - or am I being too harsh ?ŠŠ

Talking of County employees, how many more times do we have to slow down on our journeys around the county when confronted by the roadside signs stating "Prepare to Stop" and then proceed to drive at a pedestrian pace for long stretches only to eventually pass a group of 'workers' standing around at the side of the road with no visible sign of any work going on and no "Stop" sign in effect as the traffic dawdles past ? To compound our annoyance, we are then often greeted by these fellows staring menacingly at the passing traffic as if this glare in some way will prevent us from thinking the obvious - "nice work if you can get it". The other sign repeatedly before us is, "Road Work Ahead" - somewhat ironic given that this statement is frequently untrueŠŠ.Too harsh again ?..Nah !Šand besides, pickings are slim at this time of year and a Turkey Vulture's got to feed on somethingŠ.


I'm presently recovering from a wild and crazy New Year's Eve Bash featuring some marvelous food and the wonderful wines of Husch and Esterlina Vineyards, along with much quaffing of the local brews. Being a Turkey who has experienced many a hangover over the years I have experimented with a wide variety of hangover cures. From a fried feast of a breakfast to the simple cheese and cucumber sandwich to dry toast - they have all brought some but not complete relief. It has to be said that the only true cure comes from more alcohol, either a Bloody Mary or one of the drinks you were guzzling the night before. So with that thought I shall bid you a fond farewell and pour myself a bottle of Poleeko Gold Pale AleŠ..