# 530 - 28th September, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    My close personal friend Steve Sparks has chimed in with his informed take on the latest Valley Restaurant upheavals… “It’s been a strange couple of weeks in terms of the recent restaurant developments, with many Valley folks swapping stories and tales on this topic at the various events and social gatherings that I have attended over that time. Of course this has been accompanied by the inevitable mis-informed gossip and plain untruths that tend to surface in these parts… As someone who dines and drinks at many of our local eateries on a regular basis, and who owned and operated a very busy San Francisco pub/restaurant for many years, I have been privy to several conversations with those in the know on this subject - folks who seem to regard me with some esteem on this topic… Here, briefly for now, is what is actually happening… Libby’s Restaurant in Philo will be closing for good in the next couple of months - undoubtedly a big loss to the Valley… Tom Towey, owner/operator of The Buckhorn, Boonville, has closed the doors on his popular pub/restaurant after five and a half years. He will not be re-opening. He hopes to sell his liquor license (the only one in the Valley) and the hight quality equipment, furniture, and fittings, to someone who will negotiate with himself and landlord Gary Island. It is hoped this might take place in the five six weeks or so. Within 24 hours of announcing to a tearful staff that he was leaving, two inquiries had been made by local people/businesses. A third was weighing up the situation also. It should be stressed that Tom is not walking away for financial reasons. It is a personal decision based on many factors… Meanwhile, Matt Barnes, co-owner of Stone and Embers, has stated that while business has been good, over the past few weeks several staff members have exited the business for one reason or another. Initially he and partner/chef Patrick Meany decided that the best course of action would be to take a break, rehire needed positions around mid-October, and open back up at the end of October. All that changed in one day following the closing of The Buckhorn and the sudden appearance on the labor market of a significant number of potential employees. Stone and Embers now plan to be back open this coming weekend (for as many shifts as they can), and then running at full capacity the weekend of October 7th. The hours will be the same: Fri-Mon, 11:30am - 8:30pm, and as of now they have no plans to make significant schedule changes for the winter… And finally at this time, Lauren’s Restaurant, celebrating their 21st year of business in town, will be keeping their successful Thursday thru’ Sunday lunch going throughout the fall and winter months, and may be possibly increasing their hours at other times. Keep up the good work, Lauren and Natalie!… Currently, I have no reports of any significant changes at the other Valley nighttime eateries - Aquarelle Wine Bar and Cafe, The Boonville Hotel, or The Bewildered Pig - but it’s early days… That’s all for now, but I have shall no doubt have more to report in the upcoming weeks about any further changes in the up and down, wild and wacky, world that is the Anderson Valley restaurant business…”

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #543 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will return to the Valley twice this month - on Thursdays, October 6 and 20. They will be at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo from 2-3.30pm on each occasion. To avoid a line perhaps turn up at around 3pm - you will definitely be seen… #544 - The next Barn Sale will take place this coming weekend, Saturday/Sunday, October 1/2, from 9am-3pm at The Big Barn next to the St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville… #545 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley next Tuesday, October 4. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #546 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours to spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, September 29, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Meat Loaf and Mashed potatoes with Gravy, and  Strawberry-Blueberry Trifle for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, October 4, the lunch will feature Chicken Marsala with Blackberry Pie bars for dessert. And following this lunch there will be a Flu Shot Clinic from 1-3pm… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week!… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class. Also on Thursdays, the Active Life Club runs from 10am to 2pm and features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley…
    The 3-Dot was closed for emergency maintenance this week but this did not stop out intrepid reporter, The Old Buzzard, from offering these thoughts for his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… “As the UN Security Council prepares to meet again to discuss Syria, America is scrambling to salvage what little is left of its ill-conceived plan to stop the fighting. Violence resumed as soon as the truce ended on Monday night, and is expected to intensify as the Syrian government, backed by Russia and Iran, doubles down on its drive to crush rebel forces in Aleppo. The UN has suspended all aid to the country following an apparent air strike on one of its convoys; feeding the atmosphere of mistrust, Russia has claimed the lorries merely caught fire. With their faith in American policy at an all-time low, mainstream rebel forces are more likely than ever to merge with extremist groups such as Jabhat Fateh al-Sham, a former al-Qaeda offshoot. The prospects for Syria’s long-suffering people appear even grimmer than they did before the start of the ceasefire… It is a tragedy of epic proportions and nobody seems to even talk about it in everyday conversation, as if it is just another day ‘at the office of the world’ so to speak.And that is surely a sign, more than anything I have mentioned in recent times, that the Apocalypse is approaching…”

        Thank you, Buzzard - yes, a diabolical tragedy indeed… I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Skylark – read any good books lately?… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is…

# 529 - 21st September, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… And I can think of no better place to do that than by getting straight to the topic of the week at The Three-Dot Lounge – The County Fair…
    ... Friday evening... It seemed to be a smaller crowd than in recent years – a sign of the times perhaps… Excellent victory for the A.V.H.S. Varsity football team in a good game against Laytonville; a not so happy set of circumstances for the Boys’ Soccer team who were very disappointed when Geyserville canceled the game - due to transport an/or coaching difficulties depending on who you ask. Pathetic… Rave reviews on the corn dogs (although the ‘after effects’ were felt by some I am reliably informed)... Lots of very loud screaming on the rides – hopefully not because the carnies were misbehaving! I feel I can say that because I once was a carnie myself, working the bumper cars on the boardwalk in Asbury Park, New Jersey, during the summer of 1980... Talking of which, the bumper cars have not been a presence at the Fair for four years or so now and, in my humble opinion, it cannot be a real carnival without them… There was no clown to scare the kids (and many adults) but there was Sadie the Balloon Lady - my personal favorite if only because I cannot help but admire just how incredibly excited she gets about her balloon creations… Good cheeseburger courtesy of the A.V. Volunteer Firefighters – gets my ‘Best Food at the Fair’ award once again, just beating out the teriyaki chicken-on-a-stick... Plenty of drinking by Valley folks in and around the Lions Club ‘Bar’... Lots of meeting and greeting of old friends and familiar faces...
    ... Saturday afternoon and evening... Good crowd, perhaps above average for most Saturdays in recent years... Some wonderfully presented and cared for animals – particularly the pigs and sheep – I’ve never seen such large and well-kept yearling ewes... Some fine rodeo performances providing lots of excitement to the fans packed in the stands... Delicious looking prize-winning produce that was displayed in the exhibit halls and that was very difficult not to devour feverishly, but I restrained myself and only took a few bites...
    ... Sunday morning/afternoon... Sheep Dog Trial, that saw some very ornery sheep, and featured a radio commentary by my Master Shepherd friend, Kevin Owens of Yorkville, who after thirty years of competing won this event with the wonderful Border Collie Bren in 2012 and 2013… I thought it was a more exciting Fair Parade than in recent times I must say, despite the fact that the well-known Bareologist of Boonville who normally flashes her mountainous mounds at various parade participants, particularly the County Sheriff, was not to be seen... A wide variety of interesting looking people passed by the A.V. Museum booth – and many stopped by to chat... At the carnival, The Gravitron, The Wheel of Fire, and The Zipper looked less threatening in the daylight but still far too scary for me to risk... On the food and drink front I attempted and failed to take on a huge portion of curly fires – about the size of a small child, and a few pints of Boont Amber from the A.V. Brewery – which some might say led me to act like a small child…
    All told, I had a good time and left with a 5” corn dog – which was delicious and had no after-affects!... It seemed to me that everyone there was enjoying themselves and on their behalf may I be so bold as to thank all of those concerned for their hard work in putting together “The Best Little Fair in the West”...

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #544 - I made a mistake last week (you must be shocked!?) but I can now rectify it by informing you that the Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital actually do have one more visit this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. That is tomorrow, Thursday, September 22 from 2-3.30pm. To avoid a line perhaps turn up at around 3pm - you will definitely be seen. The Vets will return twice next month, on Thursdays, October 6 and 20… New customers and their pets are always welcome and previous visitors should be aware that they can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them - making this an even better service than it already is!… #545 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues every Saturday in the parking lot of the Boonville Hotel, 9.30am-Noon. For more information, call Cindy at 895-2949… #546 - The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open on Tuesdays and Saturdays at The Fairgrounds - Tuesday 1.30-4.30pm and Saturday 2-4pm… #547 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, September 22, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Shredded BBQ Beef Sandwich and Strawberry Pie Dessert… Then, next Tuesday, September 27, the evening meal served at 6pm, will feature BBQ ribs, and Cherry Crisp for dessert. As this is the 4th Tuesday of the month, the dinner will be followed by Bunco at 7pm… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week!… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class. Also on Thursdays, the Active Life Club runs from 10am to 2pm and features games, crafts, and music… The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
…‘Another Gun Owner for Trump’… On my travels through the Valley I have now spotted three bumper stickers featuring this phrase (otherwise they seem like reasonable people)… Each to his own, I guess - hey, that’s why they call it a democracy…
… A few of our 3-Dot regulars have offered very positive reviews for the 4 Bar K Ranch in Boonville that is offering premium grass fed beef for sale. This is local grass fed beef, raised in the Valley with no shots or hormones, just excellent, lean, grass finished beef. They raise their beef free range, organically, in a humane, safe, and stress free way. This insures that the beef is the best quality and it’s raised and sold in the right way. If interested please contact Dave Kooyers at dkooyers@gmail.com (707) 895-2325.   
… I spent most of the Fair sitting with my good friend Steve Sparks at the A.V. Historical Society and Museum booth… It was next to the one representing the Mendocino Democrats, and backed on to the booth run by the Republicans… Suffice it to say it made for an interesting couple of days of banter, and a steady business in book sales for the Society…
…Speaking of that banter, here are a few examples of comments I heard being directed to the hosts at the Democrats’ booth… “I can’t vote for Hilary - she is a crook and a woman in bad health”… “These two candidates are the worst ever - its too bad Obama cant serve another term”… And “How come the guys working the Republican booth are so miserable?”…
        I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - thinking you should now that we Turkey Vultures are monogamous and mate for life and sometimes, to prove our loyalty, we like to indulge in an ‘erotic’ display dance on our nesting grounds
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Missing the Venerable Pheasant… Keep on humming, Hummingbird… On the sheep, Grace…

# 528 - 14th September, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    So, even though the annual County Fair is virtually upon us, I would suggest that there is no bigger event this week than the 98th Birthday of the Valley’s oldest man - Ross Murray!… Freda Fox, who turned 98 in March is our oldest resident but Ross, who was born on 16th September 1918 is a very close second… 1918! Just think what Ross has lived through!… Many happy returns, Ross - what a truly awesome achievement (to use the word ‘awesome’ in as accurate a way as I can think of)…
    Moving on… Let’s review some of the intriguing questions that were raised at The 3-Dot in the past few days about this coming weekend’s County Fair... Will the attendance be an increase following a few years of declining numbers? The newly formed Fair Boosters have been hard at work trying to freshen things up a little and hopefully their efforts will be appreciated by a good turnout... Will the infamous “Large-breasted Boonville Flasher’ once again expose herself to Sheriff Tom Allman as he rides in the Parade?... Will ‘King’ Ken Allen, former A.V. Brewery owner and last place finisher in the unofficial A.V. Mayor’s election a couple of years ago, show his face?... Is Pickles the Clown going to show up and scare lots of small children?... Will any local teenage girls run off with a Carny?... Will any local school boys run off and become a Carny?... Will the corn dogs be as good and as unhealthy as ever?... Will the booth run by the A.V. Historical Society and Museum sell enough books to be regarded as a success after an absence of a few years - we all hope so… And most importantly, will I win the Carrion-Eating Contest for the ninth year in succession?... All this, and possibly more, will be revealed this coming weekend...
    Now at this point I shall get up on my perch and give my annual pre-Fair speech to the assembled masses that form my readership – “I would like to remind some of you, particularly the younger generation, that it is not just about the carnival rides and looking cool with your date – important though such pastimes certainly are. Try to also check out the various display halls of arts, crafts, agriculture, etc, along with the impressive livestock corrals, the traditional rodeo, and the always-exciting sheep dog trials. This Fair is a really unique event and one of a dying breed, so why not broaden your horizons and enjoy everything ‘The Best Little Fair in the West’ has to offer? In my humble opinion, that would be cool too. Trust me on this; you can thank me later”...

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #543 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have no more visits this month but they will be at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, twice next month - on October 6 and 20… #544 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley next Tuesday, September 20. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #545 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours to spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, September 15, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be BBQ Hot Dogs and Sundae Cone Cake for dessert. Following this lunch join Ken Montgomery & Friends for music & singing… Then, next Tuesday, September 20, the lunch will feature Pork Chop Casserole with Holy Cow Cake for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week!… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class. Also on Thursdays, the Active Life Club runs from 10am to 2pm and features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
… Sheriff Tom Allman and District Attorney C. David Eyster are pretty much always seen together when attending county events these days.  It is almost ‘cute’ some folks have said. I am not so sure about that, although I will acknowledge that this ‘bromance’ has been carrying on for some years now. However, there is great doubt at this point if Eyster will be traveling in the same vehicle as the Sheriff for the Fair Parade… Apparently, the Large-breasted Boonville Flasher, mentioned above, is very particular about whom she exposes her mountainous breasts to and the D.A. is not on her list, for reasons that remain curiously unexplained… I think we should be told…
… The incorrect use of ‘there’ when ‘their’ is the required spelling (as in ‘their land’) is very disappointing although to many it is not the ‘end of the world’ of course… However, when it appears on a flyer posted on a school noticeboard then one cannot help but wonder if such things are just not important anymore… What will be next?…
… ‘All That Good Stuff,’ the local gift store, is currently having a 30% off Closing Down Sale that will end with the business locking its doors for the final time on Friday, September 30. They have been located in SoBo (South Boonville) since their move from the Farrer Building in 2012. There are a number of reasons for the store’s ultimate failure to survive, but one cannot help but think that this is a sad end to an unsavory Valley tale, and that some folks should have a little trouble sleeping, but probably don’t…
… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “As I sit here contemplating the state of the film industry, not only do I think that HBO provides better entertainment than going to a cinema (due mainly to all the top screenwriters now working for the premium cable networks, having left the shoot-outs, explosions, car chases, special effects, and blatantly obvious plot lines to the movie business), but also that censorship in films has become ludicrous, while once again this premium cable channel has got it right when it comes to sex and violence.
    “For the sake of credibility, you obviously can’t show love/sex scenes for too long without showing a pair of breasts and yet, according to the movie censors, a pair of breasts is often a problem and leads to prohibitive ratings. Chopping someone’s head off or riddling someone with bullets, that is not a problem. Showing parts of the anatomy that you can see on every beach in the south of France, and many other places for that matter - apparently that’s a problem and leads to unreasonable levels of censorship… It’s not a vitally important issue, and as I said, I was just ‘contemplating’ this odd state of affairs, but perhaps it is yet another example that the Apocalypse is rapidly approaching…”   

        Well now I think it’s time to take my leave… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on wagging that tail, Fred… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Keep up the good work, Round-eyed Robin

# 527 - 7th September, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    I thought it appropriate to give an overview for the uninitiated from the Economist magazine on Saturday of this past week’s Burning Man event in the Black Rock Desert… “One of Nevada’s largest cities exists for only one week each year, built from scratch and then dismantled, leaving only bare desert. Revelers build giant interactive installations, this year including a pyramid complex (complete with catacombs) and a participatory recreation of the Last Supper. Tonight the 90-foot centerpiece structure, a Vitruvian Man, will be ritually incinerated. Burning Man has transformed since a small group of friends first put match to Man on Baker Beach in San Francisco in 1986: each installment brings $50m to the area, and it has spawned many other such ‘transformational festivals’. But veterans fret that the Hollywood starlets and Silicon Valley bosses it now attracts threaten its original spirit. Despite trumpeting inclusivity, tickets cost hundreds of dollars and attendees are overwhelmingly white; the huge consumption of resources, from water bottles to fuel, might seem more destructive than creative. But try telling that tonight to the 70,000 proud citizens of a city built on ‘radical self-expression’…”… Sums it all up nicely I thought…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #543 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have just one visit this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. That will be on September 22, but they will be back twice next month - on October 6 and 20… #544 - The Barn Sale will take place this coming weekend, Saturday/Sunday, September 10/11, from 9am-3pm at The Big Barn next to the St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville… #545 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues every Saturday in the parking lot of the Boonville Hotel, 9.30am-Noon. For more information, call Cindy at 895-2949… #546 - The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club is normally open on Tuesdays and Saturdays at The Fairgrounds - Tuesday 1.30-4.30pm and Saturday 2-4pm. They are currently closed until after the County Fair… #547 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!… #548 - The Anderson Valley Grange is having its regular second Sunday Pancake Breakfast on September 11 from 8:30-11am. Prices range from $5-10 - kids through hungry folks, for a delicious, locally-sourced breakfast. Choices include pancakes (gluten free available; gluten extra is not), eggs, and bacon, with a choice of juice, tea or coffee included…   
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, September 8, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Hamburgers on a Bun Banana Split Cake … Then, next Tuesday, September 13, the evening meal served at 6pm, will feature Marinated Tri-Tip Roast with Orange Creamsicle for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week! As this is the 2nd Tuesday of the month, the dinner will be followed by Bingo at 7pm… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class. Also on Thursdays, the Active Life Club runs from 10am to 2pm and features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
… I am reliably informed that for the first time in a few years the A.V. Historical Society and Museum has secured a booth at the County Fair this year… My close personal friend, Steve Sparks, will be operating the stall, accompanied at times by fellow author Wes Smoot. Feel free to stop by and chat with folks familiar with Valley history and perhaps support the Society by buying a book, or even by becoming a member of this important organization!…
… Most of you will be aware that Donald Trump visited Mexico last week to meet President Enrique Peña Nieto. The Republican nominee praised Mexicans as “honest, hardworking people”; then in a speech later that same day, he promised to build an “impenetrable ” border wall which Mexico would pay for. Mr Trump said he did not discuss paying for the wall with Mr Peña Nieto; the president said they did and that Mexico wouldn’t… Most regulars at the 3-Dot are in no doubt who to believe…
… Open your minds and consider what Carl Sagan, creator and presenter of the wonderful series ‘Cosmos’ once said - “Used properly, television can educate and inspire awe as well as any book, painting, or film”… Over the last decade, programs such as The Wire, The Sopranos, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Sex and the City, Deadwood, Entourage, Rome, Six Feet Under, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Dexter, Californication, Homeland, Game of Thrones, Nurse Jackie, Boardwalk Empire, Girls, Treme, True Blood, The Daily Show, Inside Amy Shumer, etc, etc, would certainly seem to support this claim…
… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “I do believe that it is written in the Constitution that when toast is served with a traditional American breakfast, two pieces are to be provided. No Amendment has been made to my knowledge… One slice is obviously just not right if the meal is to be devoured completely, including the sauces and juices, and the plate cleaned thoroughly. Consequentially this sends a message of appreciation and fulfillment to the cook and server. Let’s not allow this alarming thought of one slice go any further - in my humble opinion it would be a very significant sign that the Apocalypse is Approaching…”

        I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - still wallowing in the honor of having the 2nd tallest tree (343.6 feet) in Hendy Woods named after me and my ilk…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Just time to re-remind those who think badly of us that a fellow by the name of Charles Darwin said about Turkey Vultures, “A disgusting bird whose bald scarlet head is formed to wallow in putridity” – Thanks for the compliment, Charles – you clearly have some well informed insights…
p.p.p.s. Keep on humming, Hummingbird… Missing the Venerable Pheasant… On the sheep, Grace…

# 526 - 31st August, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “The Olympic Games are, historically and by design, a place for peaceful international competition: ‘diplomacy over a discus,’ as it were. But geopolitical tensions do occasionally slip into view. During the recently concluded competitions, while the selfie shared by gymnasts from estranged North and South Korea certainly warmed hearts, there were other less-friendly gestures in Rio. The Israel-Arab conflict was present, with the Lebanese delegation refusing to share a bus with Israelis. A Saudi judoka dropped out of her bout with an Israeli, and an Egyptian one was sent home after refusing to shake the hand of the Israeli who bested him. In the pool, American swimmers shunned their Russian counterparts while Australians cold-shouldered the Chinese (ostensibly over doping allegations). An Armenian medal-winner wore a picture of a soldier killed by Azerbaijan; Ukraine’s sport minister ordered his country’s athletes not to give interviews to Russian media; and Serbian athletes were told not to share a podium with Kosovars. I guess it could have been worse but it was bad enough. So much for the brotherhood of nations - I cannot help but think it’s yet another victim of the approaching Apocalypse…”

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #541 - From 3-6pm on Saturday, September 3rd, the A.V. Senior Center will be hosting a fundraising ribs and chicken bbq with chefs ‘Pot Licker BBQ’ (Steve and Terri Rhoades) at their location in the parking lot at the Veterans’ Hall…  #542 - There is live music at Lauren’s Restaurant this Saturday evening, September 3. At 8pm it’s Ryan Davis doing an acoustic set before joining his bandmates in ‘Boonfire' for their 9pm performance. For more information call 895-3869… #543 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have no more visits this month but they will be at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, on September 22 and then twice in October, dates to follow…#544 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley next Tuesday, September 6. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #545 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours to spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’… #546 - The next Barn Sale is on Saturday/Sunday, September 10/11…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, September 1st, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Meat Loaf, Mashed potatoes & gravy, and dessert. Following this lunch join Ken Montgomery & Friends for music & singing… Then, next Tuesday, September 6th, the lunch will be delicious - I just have not been able to find out what it is!… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week! Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class. Also on Thursdays, the Active Life Club runs from 10am to 2pm and features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
… If I hear the excuse for incompetence, inefficiency, or lack of accountability being “because he/she is a volunteer” one more time, then I am sure, like any other self-respecting Turkey Vulture when put in an annoying situation, I shall be forced to just defecate on the head of the person offering the excuse… Enough already. No more talking without walking. People need to do what they said they would/could do!…
… A 3-Dot regular reports that, as he staggered along Haight Street in S.F. last Saturday afternoon, he spotted 16 Mexican teenagers walking around, taking in the sights. He recognized several of them as Anderson Valley student athletes and they informed him that they were in the City to play a soccer game at Kezar Stadium, former home of the 49ers back in the day. My investigations have revealed that they subsequently lost a close game against Urban H.S. After the game they enjoyed a fine postseason meal at the nearby Kezar Pub, where they watched professional soccer on the tv and some of the 18-year old seniors “sipped a couple of refreshing cervezas.” I am sure they were kidding about the beers, although the U.S., along with less than ten others, is a country where citizens can be sent to war at 18 but drinking alcohol is not allowed until you are 21. And that, in my humble opinion, is not a good thing… (FYI - 115 countries have the legal drinking age set ar 18; whereas16 countries ban alcohol completely)…
… The Lions’ fundraising bbq for the A.V. Ambulance, held at the Fairgrounds last Sunday afternoon, was a big success. There were in excess of 120 people - one of the busier such events of the summer, no doubt greatly helped by the earlier large turnout for the Linda Brennan Memorial from which many folks made their way to the Fairgrounds down the road. The Lions did their usual fine catering job and I imagine the Ambulance Department received a significant amount of funding… And I must give kudos to the Joe Blow Band who have greatly improved over the last year, and on Sunday gave a very good performance indeed. (Before you think, ‘Who the hell does Turkey thinks he is?’, I should inform you that I booked bands every Saturday night at a music venue in S.F. for 14 years and feel I have a somewhat informed opinion on this - just sayin’)…
… Finally this week, I am surely just one of many local folks who find it annoying when tourists drive along Highway 128 at 45mph without a thought in the minds about puling over to let others pass. What makes this particularly infuriating is that when they get into Boonville many of them fail to slow down and therefore dangerously maintain that same speed as they drive through town… Such folks are referred to as Tossers where I come from. I suggest you feel free to shout ‘You stupid tosser’ at them whenever you get the chance…
    I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Hi, George – hope you and Sheila are well… Is that ‘lafter’ I hear, Carroll?… Bobwhite Quail - keep up the knitting!