# 504 - 30th March, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… Let’s start this week with the latest words of wisdom from our Three-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “Twitter celebrated its 10th Birthday last week and I read that Donald  Trump is one of it’s more popular users, with 7 million people regularly following his tweets. Perhaps those folks who do this out of admiration for his many disparaging and often hurtful remarks could reasonably be referred to as twits? Or something far worse?… His latest controversial tweet in the ongoing schoolboy-like interchanges with rival Ted Cruz saw Trump turn his vitriol towards Cruz’ wife, threatening, “Be careful Lyin’ Ted, or I will spill the beans on your wife”… Classy guy, eh?… Cruz is hardly any better of course… I’m thinking they are in some ways this country’s modern-day Mussolini and Franco, Italy’s and Spain’s fascist dictators. (Hitler was surely a little more evil than them both). Although Donald and Ted’s fascistic tendencies are not in the same league as those two European leaders, the danger with Trump in particular is the same as that with Mussolini and basically every charismatic fascist leader: by targeting some of the basic human sensibilities of many among the electorate, they get people behind their cause, and they'll use that backing to surge in popularity that may eventually land them in office. There’s little or no substance, it’s very basic, but it so often works, and is a sign that the Apocalypse is approaching as much as anything is…”

    Onward… Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #475 - On behalf of the A.V. Health Center, Board Chairperson Ric Bonner and Board Secretary Heidi Knott are inviting the public to a Strategic Planning Discussion, tomorrow, Thursday, March 31st - “The Board of the AV Health Center is now embarking on creating a strategic plan for the next 3 - 5 years. We invite the community to attend a preliminary discussion as we begin to develop new goals for the Health Center. Help us to understand how we can better serve you and our community. We have hired a professional facilitator to guide the plan's progress and assist us in drawing up a comprehensive roadmap by early summer. We invite all AVHC stakeholders - clients, patients and residents - to a meeting at the A.V. Grange. The doors will open at 6:30 p.m. and the meeting will begin at 7pm.  We hope you will take advantage of this opportunity to meet the board and AVHC staff and let us know how we can increase and improve services to the Valley. Come, bring your friends and participate in this public forum.  We would love to hear from you”… #476 - The Barn Sale is back! They return to their regular schedule - on the first weekend of each month. That’s this coming Saturday and Sunday, April 2/3 from 9am-3pm at The Big Barn next to the St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville … #477 - Live music at Lauren’s in Boonville this coming Saturday night, April 2, sees the band Reverb featuring Yorkville’s Kevin Owens, just out of hospital and recovering from knee surgery. But you don’t play guitar with your knees so while his energetic dance moves may be slightly impaired, he has no excuses for not putting on his usual excellent show, which starts at 9pm. Cover is $5-$10 sliding scale… #478 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have no more visits this month but they will be in the Valley twice in April. As always they will be at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, on both April 14 and 28… #479 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley on Tuesday, April 6. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #480 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’…   

    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, March 31, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Beef Stroganoff with Pecan Bars for dessert for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, April 5, the lunch will feature, as it always does on the first Tuesday of every month, the very popular Meat Loaf, Mashed potatoes and gravy, with Birthday Cupcakes for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week! Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays at the same time it is the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
… More Trump… Many regulars at The Three-Dot were bemused this week when Donald Trump announced his team of potential foreign policy advisors. What an odd bunch. The men (and they're all men) who have Mr Trump's ear on foreign policy matters are a motley collection that includes an energy industry executive, a ex-adviser to Ben Carson only seven years removed from college, a retired general, an academic with ties to Lebanese Christian militants, and a former defense department official who later worked for a military contractor. The list of five men includes no heavyweights from any of the main schools of foreign policy thought… According to Ben Chang, a National Security Council veteran of both the Bush and Obama administrations, the list amounts to nothing more than a confusing “hodgepodge". Chang went on, “You can tell a person by the friends they keep, and you can tell a potential President's foreign policy by the advisers he or she gathers. I’m not sure what to make of it. It doesn't seem to be a cohesive group, by geography or issue. What is lacking is some semblance of a comprehensive worldview”… I have to presume, given the evidence so far, that we shall see many more such instances of Trump’s obvious lack of presidential prowess in the upcoming months…
… As the school closes for a week, it’s always a pleasure to see some of our local schoolteachers enjoying an end-of-quarter drink or two at The Buckhorn as they were last Friday afternoon. Some odd-ball and narrow-minded folks may think this inappropriate but they would be wrong. I would much prefer it if my children were taught by a socially-comfortable person who can enjoy a beer or a glass of wine with co-workers to celebrate Spring Break, like a ‘normal’ person, rather than by someone who disapproves of such behavior or who frowns upon those that do…
… Talking of folks who ‘do the right thing’, I attended the Easter Breakfast at the Fairgrounds last Sunday presented, as always, by the continually generous A.V. Lions. This year the event benefited the Senior Center whose hard-working Board were on hand to serve the delicious ham, pancakes, and eggs prepared by the Lions’ cooks. Seeing two of my favorite and most effective Valley Boards and groups of volunteers woking in harmony to feed me and many others was a joy to behold. It was a lovely event, but with the Easter egg hunt too exciting to cope with, I departed before the mayhem could commence, by which time my heart, soul, and stomach had all been filled - yer gotta like that…

        I’m outta here - I have to see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; please remember to keep your windows cracked whenever you have them in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Hi, George – hope you and Sheila are well… Is that ‘lafter’ I hear, Carroll?… Hi, Bobwhite Quail - keep up the knitting!

# 503 - 23rd March, 2016

Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… Not for the first time, let’s start with the Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s) - we have plenty this week…
    Calendars and pens at the ready… Before getting to our somewhat regular announcements, let’s start with a couple of important ones that are far more infrequent… #474 -It’s time for the bi-annual visit of the HazMobile vehicle to Boonville. They will be here from 9am-1pm this coming Saturday, March 26 at The Fairgrounds in Boonville. Items accepted include motor oil, oil filters, antifreeze, gasoline, solvents, paint thinner, all paints, auto and household batteries, fluorescent light tubes, acids, pesticides, herbicides, and medicines. They do not accept explosives, ammunition, radioactive wastes, medical waste, compressed cylinders larger than 5 gallons, and human bodies. They shall not be back in the Valley until October. However, the HazMobile facility in Ukiah is open every week at the following times and days - Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and the second Saturday of each month from 8am to 2pm at 3200 Taylor Drive, virtually opposite the junction of Hwy 253 with Hwy 101, on the other side of the freeway. For more information call 468-9704… #475 - On behalf of the A.V. Health Center, Board Chairperson Ric Bonner and Board Secretary Heidi Knott are inviting the public to a Strategic Planning Discussion, on Thursday, March 31st - “The Board of the AV Health Center is now embarking on creating a strategic plan for the next 3 - 5 years. We invite the community to attend a preliminary discussion as we begin to develop new goals for the Health Center. Help us to understand how we can better serve you and our community. We have hired a professional facilitator to guide the plan's progress and assist us in drawing up a comprehensive roadmap by early summer. We invite all AVHC stakeholders - clients, patients and residents - to a meeting at the A.V. Grange. The doors will open at 6:30 p.m. and the meeting will begin at 7pm.  We hope you will take advantage of this opportunity to meet the board and AVHC staff and let us know how we can increase and improve services to the Valley. Come, bring your friends and participate in this public forum.  We would love to hear from you”…

    Now on to the regular ‘stuff’… 476 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have just one visit this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo - that’s tomorrow,  Thursday, March 24 from 2-3.30pm. To avoid a line perhaps go around 3pm - you will definitely be seen. New customers and their pets are always welcome and previous visitors should be aware that they can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them - making this an even better service than it already is!…#477 - On Sunday, March 27 from 8-11am at The Fairgrounds in Boonville, it’s the annual A.V. Lions Easter Breakfast to benefit the Senior Center which will be followed at noon prompt by the Easter Egg Hunt open to kids from pre-school thru’ 4th grade…#478 - The Mendocino County Museum Road Show returns to the Anderson Valley Grange on Friday, March 25, at 7:30pm, bringing the county’s history to the stage with new true stories and songs! Hear remembrances of picking hops, recipes for old home remedies, drinking stories and scintillating tales from local houses of ill repute. Tickets are $15 adults; $12 youth (20 & under) and seniors (65+). Youth under-12 discouraged from attending. For tickets and more information, please visit www.MendocinoMuseum.org or call 459-2736… #479 - On Saturday, March 26, it’s the Open Mic at Lauren's Restaurant in downtown Boonville. Dinner served 5 to 9 before the Open mic starts at 9 pm. All are welcome - musicians, singers, poets, writers, impressionists, magicians, comedians, actors, fire-eaters, pole dancers, sword swallowers, ventriloquists, raconteurs, exotic dancers, animal callers, etc. No clowns - apparently they would scare any kids who might be there, and no mimes, please - they scare almost everyone else! For more information call 895-3869… #480 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues every Saturday at its winter venue, outside The Boonville General Store, from 10am-12:30 pm. For more info call Cindy at 895-2949… #481 - Need a burn permit? From 11am to 3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by… #482 - The A.V. Lending Library, run by The Unity Club, is open at The Fairgrounds on Tuesdays 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm… #483 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!  The number for the Dump is 895-3569 and checking first to see that they are open is probably well worth the small effort. F.Y.I., the Recycling Center in Boonville at The Fairgrounds’ parking lot is open Wednesday -Saturday, 9-4pm (489-2033)…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, March 24, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Steak Pizzola and Strawberry Lemon for dessert… I was misinformed about this month’s evening meal which was not March 22, as mentioned last week, and will actually take place next Tuesday evening, March 29 at 6pm. This dinner will feature Chicken Gloria, with Rum Cake for dessert. And everyone is invited to stay around for a game of ‘Bunko’ to follow dinner… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week!… Furthermore, Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays at the same time it is the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
… Three Dot regulars joined many other interested folks in expressing surprise, and a little concern, upon hearing that Google’s DeepMind AlphaGo computer has beaten world champion Lee Se-dol of South Korea by 4 games to 1. This is the first time a computer has beaten a world champion at the Asian board game of Go.… Computers had already beaten the world’s best chess players, but Go is much more complex… I don’t know what this means but I do know I don’t like it…
… In bars/restaurants with older refrigeration systems there is a need for draft beers to be poured frequently to stay fresh - I speak with perhaps too much experience on this… One has to hope that all such bars/restaurants which feature in their radio ads the fact that they have fifteen, eighteen, twenty-seven, whatever number of draft beers, are pretty busy. Beer should not sit in beer lines for too long before being served and, with that many on tap, some will inevitably do so, even in quite busy establishments… Of course, asking the bartender to pull off a pint if they have not poured any of a particular one recently is not unreasonable… In most cases, a good bartender in a good bar would certainly do this…
… I am pleased to inform you that Yorkville resident and long-time Valley shepherd and musician, Kevin Owens, will be back in the Valley after his month-long rehab in Ukiah following knee replacement surgery… All being well, he hopes to appear with his splendid band Reverb at Lauren’s Restaurant on Saturday, April 2nd. He tells me that he does not sing but he will be doing vocals, and that the band plans to do some songs that they actually know… Hope to see you there…
… Finally this week - They’re back! No, I’m not referring to the helicopter-like sound pollution of the frost protection fans used by certain Valley wineries; not yet anyway. I’m referring to the beautiful sight of blossoms on the apple trees; the delightful vistas of buttercups and daisies scattered around the hillsides; the heart-warming glimpses of lambs prancing in the pastures; and the comforting sound of the metal bats of the high school baseball team crushing balls into outfields and beyond… One and all are just some of the gloriously bucolic sights and sounds of the Valley in springtime…
        I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s quite enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts - and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have to leave them in your vehicle for even the shortest of periods; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Skylark – read any good books lately?… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is…

# 502 - 16th March, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… By the way, for those of you operating on ‘Deep Boonville Time’, the clocks went forward last weekend and I guess it’s about time you were made aware of this… Onward…
    It’s St Patrick’s Day tomorrow, March 17, and as someone who has had many, many years of experience in the bar/pub world, both as a host and customer, I feel that the Valley is a good place to be at such times. There will no doubt be a pleasant evening of imbibing to be had at The Buckhorn and perhaps some special ‘Irish’ food items available at restaurants around the Valley, but it will be a relatively civilized affair. Unfortunately this is not the case in many places. Of course, scenes of extreme drunkenness and boorish behavior are mainly a ‘city problem’ and little of this is seen here…However, if you do come across any anti-social acts being perpetrated then my advice is to simply ‘smile and walk away’ – after all nobody has ever achieved anything by trying to reason with a slobbering drunk. Trust me on this; you can thank me later...
    Meanwhile, here’s a bit of Irish logic to contemplate as you toast a ‘Happy St. Patrick’s to one and all’ – they are the thoughtful words of Irish ‘philosopher’ Brian O'Rourke who sagely observed, “When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.  When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!”… For a more thoughtful Quote of the Week, I feel it is perfectly appropriate to give you the wise words of the British social commentator and writer, Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) – “Nothing has been yet contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn”… I would venture to say that this is as true today as on the occasion he originally made this very astute observation...  

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #549 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have just one visit this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo - that’s just over a week away, from 2-3.30pm on Thursday, March 24. To avoid a line perhaps go around 3pm - you will definitely be seen. New customers and their pets are always welcome and previous visitors should be aware that they can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them - making this an even better service than it already is!…#550 -It’s time for the bi-annual visit of the HazMobile vehicle to Boonville. They will be here from 9am-1pm on Saturday, March 26 at The Fairgrounds in Boonville. Items accepted include motor oil, oil filters, antifreeze, gasoline, solvents, paint thinner, all paints, auto and household batteries, fluorescent light tubes, acids, pesticides, herbicides, and medicines. They do not accept explosives, ammunition, radioactive wastes, medical waste, and compressed cylinders larger than 5 gallons. They shall not be back in the Valley until October. However, the HazMobile facility in Ukiah is open every week at the following times and days - Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and the second Saturday of each month from 8am to 2pm at 3200 Taylor Drive, virtually opposite the junction of Hwy 253 with Hwy 101, on the other side of the freeway. For more information call 468-9704… #551 - Karaoke takes place on the third Wednesday of each month at The Buckhorn in Boonville - that’s tonight Wednesday, March 16, starting at 9pm… #552 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley on Tuesday, March 22. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #553 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’…   
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, March 17, not surprisingly, the lunch served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Corned Beef and Cabbage soup with Irish Cream Cake for dessert… Then, next Tuesday evening, March 22 at 6pm, the dinner will feature Citrus Cod and Triple Lemon Dessert… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best deal you’ll find all week!… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays at the same time it is the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
… The Mendocino County Museum Road Show returns to the Anderson Valley Grange on Friday, March 25, at 7:30pm, bringing the county’s history to the stage with new true stories and songs! Hear remembrances of picking hops, recipes for old home remedies, drinking stories and scintillating tales from local houses of ill repute… Tickets are $15 adults; $12 youth (20 & under) and seniors (65+). Youth under-12 discouraged from attending. For tickets and more information, please visit www.MendocinoMuseum.org or call 459-2736…
… Well, they may not have yet reached the longevity of Lauren’s Restaurant’s recently much applauded 20 years, but Tom Towey and his crew at The Buckhorn, Boonville, certainly deserve credit upon reaching their Fifth Anniversary. After Tom had fought through the ridiculous red tape and mind-boggling bureaucracy of Mendocino County over a period of six months just to open a pub/restaurant, he finally opened the doors on St. Patrick’s Day 2011. He has since provided employment for many Valley folks and continues to be the only place in the Valley that is a proper bar/pub, a place where you can get, to mention my personal highlights, a Martini, well-made cocktails, a real draft Guinness, Huevos Rancheros, a delicious brunch, and the best spicy wings and blue cheese dressing west of the Rockies; and so much more… Well done, Tom, and thank you on behalf of the many satisfied customers…
… The book I am currently reading (most Turkey Vultures are avid readers, in case you didn’t know) is about the founding of the U.S. Navy and various other aspects of U.S. history around the late 1790s and early 1800s. One thing, among many, that stands out is the wisdom, insight, intelligence, dignity, and sophistication of people such as Washington, Adams, Hamilton, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, and Franklin… It puts the current horrendous assortment of candidates competing to lead this country to absolute shame; an awful group of blowhards to which the word ’presidential’ is one of the least appropriate terms that can be applied…  
… ‘Dirty’ water in the wells of Boonville? Given what a number of Valley folks believe has been deposited into the Valley’s creeks, streams, and general watershed over the years, I am not particularly surprised…
… Last Saturday evening, along with several other Three-Dot customers, I attended the annual St Patrick’s Day Senior Center Fundraiser Dinner and Cake Auction that saw over 100 local folks gathered at The Apple Hall in Boonville for a delicious corned beef and cabbage dinner and much more… The cake auction that followed was a big success with a Bailey’s Irish Cream and chocolate dessert made by Senior Center cook, Marti Titus, breaking the record and fetching $265!… As always the hard-working Sr Center Board did a splendid job, ably supported by the volunteer F.F.A. students from the high school…

    I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep... So, until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on humming, Hummingbird… Missing the Venerable Pheasant everyday… On the sheep, Grace…

# 501 - 9th March, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… Let’s go straight into the Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s) this week…
    Calendars and pens at the ready… #547 - The annual St. Patrick’s Day Fundraiser for the A.V. Senior Center will take place this coming Saturday, March 12th at The Fairgrounds in Boonville with a 5.30pm Happy Hour and a dinner to follow at 6.30pm that will feature Corned Beef and cabbage plus ‘Green’ Beer, Irish Coffee, Margaritas, local wine, and soft drinks. As always, the ever-popular cake/dessert auction will be presented after the dinner. Tickets are available at the Senior Center, A.V. Market, and Lemons’s in Philo: $15 and $10 for Kids 10 and Under… #548 - The General Knowledge and Trivia Quiz held at Lauren’s Restaurant is now on its winter/spring schedule of 7pm on the 2nd and 4th Thursdays of every month - that means there will be one tomorrow, Thursday, March 10… #549 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have just one visit this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo - that’s not until Thursday, March 24… #550 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues every Saturday at its winter venue, outside The Boonville General Store, from 10am-12:30 pm. For more info call Cindy at 895-2949… #551 - Need a burn permit? From 11am to 3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by - you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this… #552 - The A.V. Lending Library, run by The Unity Club, is open at The Fairgrounds on Tuesdays 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm… #553 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!  The number for the Dump is 895-3569 and checking first to see that they are open is probably well worth the small effort. F.Y.I., the Recycling Center in Boonville at The Fairgrounds’ parking lot is open Wednesday -Saturday, 9-4pm (489-2033)… #554 - The Food Bank is open on the 3rd Tuesday of each month - which is next Tuesday, February 16. Gardeners, farmers and produce growers of all kinds, remember to donate your extra produce. It will be greatly appreciated. Please drop off on Monday, the day before, behind the Boonville Methodist Church.  If you need someone to glean your produce to take to the Food Bank, contact Valerie Kim at valerie.h.kim@gmail.com. Denisse Mattei is the Food Bank director. You can reach her at 895-3763… #555 - I am led to believe that the ‘Second Wednesday Drumming Circle’ will be taking place at The Grange tonight, Wednesday, February 10 from 7-9pm. To confirm, perhaps call Andy at 895-3020… #556 - The Anderson Valley Grange is having its regular second Sunday Pancake Breakfast on March 13 from 8:30-11am. Prices range from $5-10 - kids through hungry folks, for a delicious, locally-sourced breakfast. Choices include pancakes (gluten free available), eggs, and bacon, with a choice of juice, tea or coffee included…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, March 10, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Potato- Kielbasa Skillet with Grasshopper Squares  for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, March 15, the lunch will feature Beef and Broccoli with Raspberry Whip dessert for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week! Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays at the same time it is the water color painting class, leading into Easy-stretch Chair yoga at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
… Many Valley folks heaved sighs of relief and welcomed last Friday’s appointment of Kerri Sanchez to the A.V. School Board, which now returns to its full quota of five trustees. Until her application was made, there had been concerns that Robert Pinoli Jr, son of high school Athletic Director and current de facto Vice Principal, Robert Sr, would  be installed unopposed and thus open up a can of worms and inevitable conflicts of interest. Fortunately, for reasons unknown (common sense?), Robert Jr, a solid candidate in other circumstances, withdrew his application at the eleventh hour. The spot was therefore occupied by Ms Sanchez (A.V. Class of 1991), a parent of children at both the Elementary and High Schools, and someone who it is felt will make well-informed, intelligent, and forward-thinking contributions during her time on the Board… The Board thus consists of three men and two women, and features parents of children at both local schools - all positive and enlightened moves I would suggest… Congratulations, Kerri - I am sure all those involved in school affairs are collectively thanking you for taking on this important and often demanding role…
… Several Three-Dot customers concurred with the one-word comment under the picture of Donald Trump as ‘Uncle Sam’ on last week’s cover of The Economist magazine - ‘Really?’… As the most menacing, uncompromising, intolerant, and prejudiced of the ‘silly schoolboy-like’ candidates in the Republican class, I imagine he will win the nomination and give Hilary a run for her money… It begs the question, ‘What has happened to America in the 21st century?’…
… Aquarelle Cafe and Wine bar in the heart of Boonville has re-opened! Their hours of business are Friday thru’ Monday from 5pm to 9pm each day… I believe that now makes eight options for dinner in the Valley and here they are, in geographical order from southeast to northwest along Hwy 128: In Boonville - Lauren’s Restaurant, The Buckhorn, The Boonville Hotel, Aquarelle, and The Redwood Diner; in Philo - it’s Stone and Embers and Libby’s Mexican Restaurant; and in the Deep End - The Bewildered Pig… It’s time to eat out on the “Fourteen-Mile Food and Fun Freeway” - enjoy!…
… Long-time Valley resident and Master Shepherd, Kevin Owens of Yorkville, remains in convalescence following replacement knee surgery. He called me a few days ago saying he was in lots of pain that was only partially offset by extremely powerful drugs. Those of us who have been close friends of his for many years would suggest it is just what he deserves… Kevin will continue his recovery for another couple of weeks at the Redwood Cove Healthcare Center at 1162 S. Dora Street in Ukiah where, as a member of many Valley music bands over the years, in between visits from various complete strangers plus a few friends of ill-repute he has found time to plan a series of upcoming gigs at the County’s various residential rest homes that will feature covers of Beatles and Rolling Stones classic songs. After all, Kevin reckons, these are the places where many of the original Nor Cal fans of those two bands now reside… To cheer him up or to bring yourself down, feel free to call him at 972-5691… Hope to see you back in the sheep pastures soon, my friend…
… So, I have heard from a somewhat reliable source (obviously not one of my highly-paid and lowly-talented investigative reporters) that the renovated Live Oak Building in downtown Boonville has managed to preserve some the old beams from the original Live Oak Garage that was built in 1926. Good news indeed… Meanwhile, among the many rumors as to what this building is to become, my most dependable source suggests the rear section will be available for community gatherings/meetings, while in the front there will be a couple of retail outlets - whether these will be winery tasting rooms, a high-end deli, or something else remains unknown to me and many others. Perhaps I should ask the owners? ‘Prey’ tell us, Tim and Michele…
    I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on wagging that tail, Fred… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Keep on peddling, Round-eyed Robin…

# 500 - 2nd March, 2016

Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… Welcome to the 500th Turkey Vulture column! You’re welcome! Ha! Ha!… There have actually been 432 of these compilations of ‘wise words, good thoughts and curmudgeonly moans and groans’ since July 2007, which saw the beginning of the current ‘reign’ of A.V.A. Supremo, Bruce Anderson, who had previously owned and edited ‘America’s Last Newspaper’ from January 1984 until the summer of 2004. The very first Turkey Vulture column was published in the A.V.A. on November 24th, 2004. That was the beginning of it all, and was the initial one of 68 columns published during the eminently forgettable ‘editorial leadership’ of the previous regime, making for a grand total of 500, including the one before your very eyes… Many thanks for your support – past, present, and hopefully moving forward…

    On a related note, for your Quotes of the Week, here are some comments about newspapers… James Fenimore Cooper remarked, “If newspapers are useful in overthrowing tyrants, it is only to establish a tyranny of their own”… And Napoleon I would appear to be in agreement with is observation that, “Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets”… The negativity continues with this from George Orwell, “Early in life I had noticed that no event is ever correctly reported in a newspaper”… And Charles Dickens adds to the attacks with his particularly nasty remark that, “They are so filthy and bestial that no honest man would admit one into his house even for a water-closet doormat”… Some redemption can be found if one believes that abuse from a disreputable source is a good thing - namely former Chicago mayor Richard J Daley, who said, “A newspaper is the lowest thing there is” - coming from him, that is a good thing… And finally, let’s end on a positive note thanks to this from Thomas Jefferson, “Were it left up to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter”… Thanks for your support, Tom; you will go far…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #544 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have just one visit this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, and that is not until Thursday, March 24… #545 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley on Tuesday, March 8. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #546 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’… #547 - The annual St. Patrick’s Day Fundraiser for the A.V. Senior Center will take place on Saturday, March 12th at The Fairgrounds in Boonville with a 5.30pm Happy Hour and a dinner to follow at 6.30pm that will feature Corned Beef and cabbage plus ‘Green’ Beer, Irish Coffee, Margaritas, local wine, and soft drinks. As always, the ever-popular cake/dessert auction will be presented after the dinner. Tickets are available at the Senior Center, A.V. Market, and Lemons’s in Philo: $15 and $10 for Kids 10 and Under…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, March 3rd, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Chicken with Winter Vegetables, and Mano Cake for dessert… Then, next Tuesday evening, March 8 at 6pm, the dinner will feature Chicken Enchiladas, and Lime-Berry Cake for dessert. As this is the 2nd Tuesday of the month, the dinner will be followed by Bingo at 7pm… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week! Meanwhile, Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday from 10-11am, while on Thursdays at the same time it is the water color painting class, leading into yoga at 11am… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
… The Valley’s inquiring minds want to know… Will there be more applicants for the vacant School Board slot?… With a construction crew hard at work, what is the Valley’s landmark Live Oak Building going to be used for?… Will we have more or less than the current 29 winery tasting rooms (plus 7 by appointment) at this time next year?… When will we get a bank of some sort in the Valley?… When was the last time four local school sports teams reached their respective postseason Championship games?…
… Writing of which, many regulars are along for the ride as the A.V. Panthers high school boys’ basketball team, seeded #2, have progressed to the semi-finals of the postseason play-offs in Division 6 (small schools) of the North Coast Section. They play at home tonight, Wednesday, March 2nd against #3 Archbishop Hanna (Sonoma) and your support would be greatly appreciated, and possibly vital to further success!… If they win, the final will be on Saturday, either away at #1 Emery (Emeryville) or at home against #4 St Bernard’s (Eureka)… Go Panthers!…
… Restaurant Update… Stone and Embers at The Madrones has been up and running for two weekends since their reopening and, as a result of my own visit, I would say the wide acclaim so far received has been completely justified… The Bewildered Pig down in the Deep End has started a Thursday local’s night at which a $17 ‘stick to your ribs, homestyle dish’ for $17 or less is available, along with free corkage… Meanwhile, following a number of unforeseen delays, Aquarelle will re-open this Friday, March 4 - I have their word of honor!… And let’s not forget the Valley’s other dinner venues - The Buckhorn, Boonville; Libby’s in Philo; The Boonville Hotel; and The Redwood Drive-In - all are open and each is adding their own flavor to the Valley’s culinary delights…
… Of course, no Valley restaurant talk would be complete without a mention of Lauren’s Restaurant and last Saturday saw them host their 20th Anniversary Party… With Dean Titus, Susan Clark, and The Boot Jack 5 providing the high-spirited live music, accompanied by a very special three-song performance by Lauren herself, along with a rousing rendition of CCR/Tina Turner’s ‘Proud Mary’ by former Lauren staff member Patty Liddy, the crowd danced, imbibed, and enjoyed the wonderful hors’ d’oevres laid on by Lauren and her crew… Lauren took time to express her thanks to many folks who have helped in the success of the restaurant over the years but the evening’s biggest expression of gratitude was saved for Lauren herself when the multitude of about 170 people gave her a resounding three cheers in their appreciation of her providing the Valley with two decades of “Good Food - Good Times” at Lauren’s Restaurant…
… A number of regulars plan to attend this weekend’s 25th annual Variety Show at the Grange. They are a curmudgeonly bunch however and alway stand at the back so that they can nip out to the parking lot for an alcoholic beverage during the ‘less entertaining’ acts… Even if some folks see it as a variety rather than a talent show, that is fine of course, and nobody can say it isn’t almost all very entertaining… As host/compere  Corporal Rainbow has said, “The audience is great and the acts, whether they are good or not-so-good, are our acts, Valley acts, and that’s what it’s all about”...

    Well, I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets - they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture

p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Missing the Venerable Pheasant everyday… Keep on humming, Hummingbird… On the sheep, Grace…