# 249 - February 23rd, 2011

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... And let’s get straight into this week’s Public Service Announcements…
#42 – An early heads-up for a special event to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day in a couple of weeks time – it’s a Dinner and Dance to benefit the Senior Center with Dean Titus and the Coyote Cowboys! This will be the biggest event of the spring and it takes place on Saturday, March 12th at The Fairgrounds in Boonville. Tickets are on sale in Boonville at Laughing Dog Books, All that Good Stuff, and The Fairgrounds, and at Lemons’ Market in Philo. More details to follow but you can be sure the corned beef will be delicious and the music as good as it gets, so I humbly suggest you add it to your calendar a.s.a.p..... #43 – Is it that time again already? Yes it is – The Annual Variety Show is just around the corner and it’s the 20th such occasion! The fun and entertainment takes place on Friday and Saturday, March 4th and 5th at 7pm each evening and even if you’re not in an act, or even like such events as a rule, come along anyway because there is an exciting rumor that Captain Rainbow has bought a new tuxedo – yes, folks, after nineteen years of being soaked in blood, sweat, and tears, he has apparently retired ‘Old Faithful’ and bought a new one!... #44 – Oops, forgot again – tonight, Wednesday 23rd, sees the monthly gathering of the Independent Career Women (I.C.W.) but if you haven’t sent in your r.s.v.p. by now I imagine it’s way too late. Remember, it’s always the last Wednesday of the month and you can check in with Sandra at 895-3069 for further information... Now a few reminders that I haven’t mentioned in quite a while... #45 - Every Tuesday and Saturday, The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open at The Fairgrounds in Boonville during the following hours: Tues 1.30pm to 4.30pm and Saturday 2pm to 4pm... #46 - Every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, The A.V Museum in the Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School is open from 1pm to 4pm – as I’ve pointed out many times, this is surely the ‘Best Little Museum in the West’... #47 – On every Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday, the County Dump, a couple of miles west of Boonville up Mountain View Road, is open from 9am – 4pm. Remember, no dead animals – please leave that to me and my brethren...
Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley at a location known only to ‘those in the know’...
... There was a very irritated customer at the Three-Dot a couple of days ago. Apparently he had almost been run over near to the Boonville Post Office by an odd-looking yellow golf cart/ice-cream mini-truck. “It was being badly driven by a guy in an ill-fitting hat, mumbling to himself. That guy seems very odd and he drives like a maniac. Besides, is that thing even legally allowed on the road?” complained the angry customer. He went on, “Those people complaining of anti-social behavior outside the Boonville Saloon of late should perhaps also mention this jerk - a ‘cult of public nuisances’ all on his own, I’d say”...
... Moving on...Once again, everyone in the Three-Dot wholeheartedly agreed this week that when the A.V. High School beats Mendocino High in any school sport it provides us all with a most satisfying feeling. The aloof/superior airs shown by some of the Cardinals’ fans, coupled with the taunting I have witnessed in recent years by some of their players, makes this year’s convincing victories by the A.V. girls volleyball and the boys’ soccer and basketball teams all the more gratifying. Go Panthers – eat a Cardinal for breakfast... and lunch, dinner and supper!...
... During another school-related discussion, some regulars were wondering about a couple of things and I did not know the answers to either of their questions - Is Spanish offered at the Junior High School? Is Geography taught at either the Junior High or High School?
..., And yet more school ‘stuff’... Rumors have it that as many as three, four, or perhaps even all five seats on the School Board may be up for election this year. I cannot confirm this, and some of the numbers certainly sound a little far-fetched, but it’s what I’ve heard from a couple of sources so I guess we’ll see. No, no, no - thanks for your support but I couldn’t possibly run for such a position. Although if I did and won, you can be sure I’d push for such things as: far fewer lights on when nobody is there – what a waste of money that is; more homework – two hours a night never harmed me in my junior and senior years at Bird of Prey Academy; stricter codes of dress (for the students at least) and firm enforcement of those codes; more chickens laying delicious eggs in the Ag. Department; and squished-squirrel pie on the lunch menu... And that would all be for discussion at just the first meeting...
Well, I think that’s enough about the youth of today and their world, now I think it’s time to take my leave and retreat into my own world of wine-sipping and carrion crunching... ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net

# 248 - February 16th, 2011

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... The Super Bowl Party at a large white house in Washington D.C. attended by the Valley’s very own Robert Mailer Anderson, included many guests from the Democratic Party hierarchy including a big Chicago Bears fan by the name of Barrack Obama. My leading sports correspondent, Very Spotted Owl, reports that when Robert posed for post game pictures alongside that very same Mr. Obama, one wisecracking guest remarked ‘Who’s that standing next to Bruce Anderson’s nephew, Robert?’... I couldn’t possibly comment...
However, I can comment on last Saturday evening’s marvelous entertainment for the discerning adult held at The Grange here in Anderson Valley. I’m referring to the play performed by local resident and accomplished actor of stage, screen, and television, René Auberjonois along with co-star Howard Hesseman (Johnny Fever, hip d.j. on television’s ‘WKRP in Cincinnati’). It was entitled ‘Off their Cuffs’ and featured a series of short stories, poems, and quotes read by these two very professional and talented actors. They played to a virtual full-house of nearly 300 people with proceeds going to the A.V. Education Foundation and it appeared that everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves. It just goes to show – if quality entertainment is provided for our many erudite Valley citizens then they will certainly support it. What’s next, René? Anyone?...
Not for the first time, but hopefully the last, I have managed to botch the last name of one of the Valley’s Clark/Reilly clan. Christy, who recently helped me in finding good homes for Sam Prather’s pups, is actually Christy Reilly. She is not a Clark. That leads me to this week’s Quote of the Week from the ever youthful and sexy English actress, Joan Collins, who said in one of her wiser moments, “Show me a person who has never made a mistake and I’ll show you someone who has never achieved much.” Thanks for your support, Joan...
Public Service Announcements… #111 – I am indebted to my dear friend, Silver Swan, for reminding me that this coming Saturday, February 19th, there will be a community ‘Welcome Back’ Party (from the Middle East) for the Valley’s own Sergeant Manuel ‘Manny’ Mendoza along with a celebration of the young man’s birthday. It’s from 1pm -5pm at The Fairgrounds in Boonville and an event that we perhaps should all consider attending. For further information call Marcela at 391-6947... #112 – For your disposal of hazardous materials please note that The Haz-Mat Collection is this weekend - Fri/Sat, Feb 18th/19th. It is free and runs from 9am-1pm at The Fairgrounds parking lot in Boonville... #113 - Laughing Dog Books in downtown Boonville will host author Jean Hegland this Saturday, Feb 19th from 2pm-4pm. Remember there are new hours at our local bookstore - 10am-6pm every day, except Tuesdays when they are closed. #114 – The big social event this weekend is the KZYX & Z Benefit starting at 7pm Saturday, Feb 19th at The Grange. It’s The Full Moon Fandango, a dance party fundraiser, with live music by The Battlin’ Bluebirds –all female blues band from San Francisco and
Rogerwood, There will be local beer & wine, soft drinks & snacks. Admission is sliding scale -- $10 - $15 with kids 12 & under free.
Come as you are or dress to the nines... #115 - Time again to remind you of the excellent service provided for many in the form of the Bookmobile Library. Over the next month it will be in the Valley on Tuesdays, Feb 22nd, March 8th, and March 22nd. On each of those days, they will be in Navarro from 9am-9.30am, (then off to Comptche from 10.45am-11.30am), at The Floodgate 1pm-1.45pm, Philo 2pm-2.45pm, and then the Boonville Apple Hall Building 3pm-3.45pm. Make another note on your calendars; it’s a wonderful thing... Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley...
... First it’s more egg news... Regulars continue to rave about the free-range eggs available from Jennifer, well actually her chickens, in Philo at 895-2585. Large and very tasty - unlike those excuses for eggs that we are offered at most big stores these days, she has about one hundred chickens currently laying. They are just off the highway about ½-mile north of downtown Philo just past and opposite the 22.34 mile marker at 7900 Hwy 128. Check out the little refrigerator a few yards off the west side of the road. Short of laying the eggs myself on your porch I’m not sure what else I can do...
... Following last week’s rambling and repetitive letter to the A.V.A. concerning late night/early morning disturbances on the street outside The Boonville Saloon, many Three-Dot regulars were up in arms with claims that the writer of the letter had it all wrong. I decided to put my ace crime reporter, Balding Eagle, on the case... In the last few years, through the tenancy of Tom Towey and now Shelly Mayberry and Marcia Mendoza, The Lodge/Saloon, has gone through a major transformation in terms of the frequency of such incidents. In fact there has not been one 911 call to report problems since the two women took over there late last summer. Therefore it came as little surprise to me that, based on Eagle’s further enquiries, it would appear that the complaints made by local resident Dr. Herb Ruhs were, according to those interviewed, exaggerated and had little to do with the bar and its patrons. The establishment had closed at least an hour earlier, owners Shelly and Marcia were cleaning up in fact, and the disturbance consisted of just a single guy doing ‘doughnuts’ in a little Honda who had not even been a customer in the bar. Of course, everyone will tell their own version of the story but upon hearing that the original tale came from the man who is/was apparently the physician to Captain Fathom, I know whom I tend to believe...
... As a fan of the City of Detroit, for all sorts of reasons too self-indulgent to mention here now, I have thoroughly enjoyed the Chevrolet ‘Imported from Detroit’ commercials on television that have appeared in recent weeks... Now, I am the last Vulture to say anything positive about today’s television commercials, let’s face it, 95% of them are basically insulting to any vaguely intelligent mind, but these pro-Detroit ads are doing their best, in an intelligent and thoughtful way, to bolster the fortunes of a real American city that has seen better days and will hopefully see them once again at some point... Let’s support the Motor City!...
I’m outta here... Meanwhile, ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net
p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!
p.p.p.s. Buy a Chevy today!

# 247 - February 9th, 2011

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... First up, I have pretty good news on the Prather Pups situation. On speaking to Sam a few days ago he has managed to find good homes for five of the seven Border collie pups he was unexpectedly presented with by his excellent female working-dog three months ago. The final two should go soon and hopefully we can then put this Valley Tale in our ‘Job Well Done’ file. Thanks to those who helped with this, particularly Christy Clark with her invaluable flyers...
Public Service Announcements… #228 – This coming Saturday evening, Feb 12th, you will get the chance to see local resident and very accomplished actor of stage, screen, and television, René Auberjonois appear in a play, ‘Off their Cuffs’, along with co-star Howard Hesseman (Johnny Fever, hip d.j. on television’s ‘WKRP in Cincinnati’). It’s at The Grange for one night only, with a 6.30pm social hour and curtain at 7.30pm, and is a fundraising event for the A.V. Education Foundation. (p.s. There is an interview by Steve Sparks with Mr. Auberjonois in this week’s newspaper)... #229 – This month’s Grange Meeting is at 7pm, on Tuesday, Feb 15th... #230 – This just in from Beth Swehla at the A.V. High School Ag Department – “Just a reminder that our hens are in laying mode now. We have lots of yummy eggs. Just $3.50 a dozen. Tell a friend! Call me at 895-2514. Thanks, Beth”...
Moving on... Rather than a fly-on-the-wall, I decided to be more a bird-of-prey-in-the-rafters as I joined a crowd of maybe sixty people in attendance at the Unity Club’s post-luncheon gathering with Sheriff Tom Allman as guest speaker. Ostensibly, I was there to see how the Sheriff would respond to some penetrating questions from the audience concerning the future of Deputy Walker here in the Valley, given the ‘last hired; first fired’ policy that will see him gone when the next budget cuts are made. This is a policy in which job security is not based on merit, and which sees ability and effectiveness on the job, along with an acceptance and appreciation by all of the Valley’s various communities, all count for little. That’s the way it is apparently – ridiculous and unfair, but it’s the same in most public/civil service positions. Unfortunately the probing questions on this matter were not forthcoming and Allman easily dealt with those he was confronted by in his usual slick yet competent manner. By most accounts he is a good sheriff, and is undoubtedly very personable, but if he’d said one more time that he meant something ‘from the bottom of my heart’ I think I would have had to swoop down and make a mess on his perfectly ironed shirt... Overall it was an opportunity lost I fear, but at least let’s get going with a petition of some sort – it may be all we can do... Meanwhile the drunk drivers remain un-checked, no patrols are carried out, and the Valley’s tweekers and petty criminals behave virtually without restraint and, perhaps of greater concern, they continue to slowly encroach further on the Valley’s law-abiding citizens...
That’s all very pessimistic I know so let’s think on a potentially brighter side and, for the Quote of the Week, remember the words of Robert Kennedy who said, “Every society gets the kind of criminal it deserves. What is equally true is that every community gets the kind of law enforcement it insists on.” Precisely. Too bad he wasn’t at the Unity Club luncheon, eh?...
Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley at a location known only to ‘those in the know’...
... The big topic of conversation around The Three-Dot this week has been the wonderful Crab Feed put on by Gloria Ross and her team of volunteers last Saturday evening in Boonville. With a record attendance of over four hundred eager guests, the vast majority from the Valley, the crab was particularly good this year; the service by high school students was very efficient; the raffle kept many in the crowd absorbed; the pacing of the evening was perfect – from the social hour all the way through; and the many post-meal mini-gatherings around the bar and throughout the Apple Hall once again convinced me that this is surely the Valley’s most community-centric event of the year...
... Loretta Houck’s excellent Laughing Dog Book store in the heart of Boonville has new hours. They will be open from 10am-6pm except Tuesdays when they are closed all day. I believe this excellent little store deserves your support and there is a wide range of wonderful books to choose from. Reading a good book is a wonderful pastime, and hopefully not a dying one...
... With the 94 year-old Zsa Zsa Gabor suffering with some serious health issues, I shared the thought with a couple of regulars that I felt that she was perhaps the Paris Hilton of here day - somebody not particularly talented in any way other than being a ‘face’ at many celebrity functions and parties. However, Zsa Zsa, who basically began the ‘famous for being famous’ character that today’s D-List celebrities adopt so poorly and tediously, had some class and a degree of sophistication that the current versions can only dream of...
... Sticking with the world of entertainment, several regulars and I watched ‘This is it’ – the 2009 American documentary–concert film that documents Michael Jackson's rehearsals and preparation for the concert series of the same name that was canceled due to his death... Two things really struck me, and both reinforced opinions already held by myself and many, many others – firstly, he was very talented in his field – no, incredibly talented; and secondly he was treated like royalty by everyone around him, the Director being particularly humble and obsequious, virtually bowing his head when talking to M.J., while the dancers and musicians were simply in awe. Yes, he was certainly the ‘King of Pop’ in every sense...
Well now I think it’s time to take my leave... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Poking and stroking egos wherever necessary and, as always, humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...
p.s. Keep the Faith...
p.p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net
p.p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace...

# 246 - February 2nd, 2011

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... News Flash!... The ‘Original’ Crab Feed, being held this coming Saturday, Feb 5th, is sold out! There are no tickets left anywhere and the organizers tell me that none will be available on the door either...
Meanwhile... Last week I passed on information about what you can do to save one of our local birds of prey (barn owls, hawks, and yes, even Turkey Vultures) if you come across one that is injured - take it to the Mendocino Animal Hospital in Ukiah, where it will get cared for and there will be no charge to you. This week how about saving a deputy sheriff? Yes, folks, there is a very real possibility that the Valley may be losing the admired and well-respected Deputy Craig Walker at some point this year for budgetary reasons. A couple of letters in the A.V.A.’s letters’ page touched on this subject in recent weeks and on further inquiries by Bald Eagle, my ace investigative reporter, there have already been cutbacks in the duties that Wallker and Deputy Squires are being asked to fulfill in terms of pro-active policing and even traffic violations. Walker’s police dog, which the community had paid for, is on hold, there have been hardly any D.U.I. arrests in the Valley since before Thanksgiving, patrols have virtually stopped, and the only winners in this situation are going to be the ‘bad guys’.
Already I have heard that the Valley’s ‘tweekers’ and other ‘ne’er-do-wells’ are very aware of the situation and are taking full advantage of it in the form of increased petty theft and excesses of unsocial behavior - crimes that are not ‘serious’ but pretty annoying to those affected all the same. Just a day or so ago my neighbor had gas siphoned out of his truck and a few days before that I had received this message from Pat Hulbert at the Philo Church – “Someone stole 100 gals of Kerosene from our Philo Church...Sure wish I could find out who it was...Have you seen a truck with a tank on it by the left side of the Philo Church?? Who ever it was got a real good deal, I had just sent the gas company $300 plus to pay for it...God Bless...Pat H”...
Now I am certainly not a Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes when it comes to law-enforcement but a certain degree of police presence and law enforcement is undeniably necessary in any decent, functioning community and if the current planned cutbacks are taken to their expected conclusion, then I feel, along with many others, that we may well be heading for a ‘wilder west’ than has been seen here for many, many years. To keep our deputies here in the Valley, and carrying out the fine job they have done to this point, do I hear a cry out there of ‘Let’s get a Community Petition going!’? What about direct pleas to our recently elected 5th District Supervisor, Dan Hamburg, a good man in my experience, to see if this can be sorted out? He will be a very important ‘player’ in the process over the next few months and let’s hope he is able to help us in some way. Then, of course, there is Sheriff Allman himself. Perhaps a petition organized amongst Valley folks and sent off to him might work wonders? Meanwhile, as fate would have it, the Sheriff will be ‘appearing’ in Boonville as the guest at the Unity Club’s monthly meeting at The Fairgrounds tomorrow, Thursday, Feb 3rd, at 1pm – why not attend, share some of your opinions, and ask some questions? (No rotten tomato throwing, please)...
Moving on to more pleasant matters... This Sunday at 3.30pm, it’s the Green Bay Packers against the Pittsburgh Steelers in Super Bowl XLV - that’s #45 to the non-Romans amongst you. It’s two of the N.F.L.’s most storied teams in what should be a very close match-up – in fact the Packers are favored to win by less than a field goal... Here we go then, with my annual ‘Guaranteed, Stone-cold Lock for the Super Bowl’ – and I’m going with the Steelers to win 24-20 to claim their seventh title in eight attempts...
With that in mind how about this comment on sports by doom-and-gloom, yet quite brilliant author, George Orwell, for your Quote of the Week, “Serious sports has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence; in other words it is war minus the shooting”... And that was before he’d even seen the Steelers’ defense!...
Public Service Announcements… #226 - Mendocino Permaculture’s 28th Annual Winter Workshop will be held on Saturday, Feb 5, 2011, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Anderson Valley High School domes in Boonville. This is a public service event free to all. There will be no charge for admission, classes, scions, or for seeds. For further details call Barbara/Rob Goodell at 895-3897 ... #227 –The ‘Original’ Crab Feed, only for those who have tickets already, will be at 6pm this coming Saturday, February 5th at The Appole Hall in Boonville... #228 – On the following Saturday evening, Feb 12th, you will get the chance to see local resident and very accomplished actor of stage, screen, and television, Rene Auberjonois appear in a play, ‘Off their Cuffs’, along with co-star Howard Hesseman (Johnny Fever, hip d.j. on television’s ‘WKRP in Cincinnati’). It’s at The Grange for one night only, with a 6.30pm social hour and curtain at 7.30pm, and is a fundraising event for the A.V. Education Foundation... #229 – Time again to remind you of the excellent service provided for many in the form of the Bookmobile Library. Over the next month it will be in the Valley on Tuesdays, Feb 8th and Feb 22nd. On each of those days, they will be in Navarro from 9am-9.30am, (then off to Comptche from 10.45am-11.30am), at The Floodgate 1pm-1.45pm, Philo 2pm-2.45pm, and then the Boonville Apple Hall Building 3pm-3.45pm. Make another note on your calendars, it’s a wonderful thing...
Well now I think it’s time to take my leave... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Poking and stroking egos wherever necessary and, as always, humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...
p.s. Keep the Faith...
p.p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net
p.p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!