# 460 - 27th May, 2015

   Greetings one and all – if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… A good friend of mine, Valley resident Steve Sparks, who is possibly known to a number of you, has sent me this report from his current visit to his homeland in England. Read on…
    "You may recall that, about six months ago, a Fox News ‘terrorist expert' claimed that Britain’s second biggest city, Birmingham, was 'a totally Muslim city and a no-go area for non-Muslims.’ American author Steve Emerson eventually apologized for his stupid remarks but not before they had sparked a national outrage across the U.K. and Prime Minister David Cameron had called Emerson ‘a complete idiot.’
    Cameron went on to say, ‘He should actually visit and look at Birmingham and see what a fantastic example it is of bringing people together of different faiths, different backgrounds, and actually building a world-class, brilliant city with a great and strong economy.’
    Emerson’s website describes him as 'one of the leading authorities' on Islamic extremist networks, and states: ‘Emerson and his staff frequently provide briefings to US government and law enforcement agencies, members of Congress and congressional committees.’ Dear oh, dear, what the hell is going on here?…
    On Fox News he was described as a ‘terrorism analyst’ and he informed viewers that parts of London have a Muslim police force who 'attack people if they don't dress according to religious rules’. He also told viewers of the American tv network: "In Britain, it’s not just no go zones, there are actually cities like Birmingham that are totally Muslim, where non-Muslims simply don’t go in."
    This is utterly and completely incorrect. He later apologized and offered to make a donation to Birmingham Children's Hospital. He said: 'I have clearly made a terrible error for which I am deeply sorry. My comments about Birmingham were totally in error.' He added that he should have been 'more careful,' before adding: 'There was no excuse for making this mistake and I owe an apology to every resident of Birmingham.'
    Birmingham's one million plus population is actually 57% white and 26% Asian, 8% black and 4% mixed race.  In the 2011 census, only 21% of the population identified themselves as Muslim.
    However, if you do find yourself in one of Birmingham’s communities where the majority of folks are Muslim, then, like myself during a visit in the past few days, you will be treated as if you are anywhere else in this vibrant, multi-cultural city - with friendship and hospitality. It is not known as ‘The Big Heart of England’ simply because it is in the geographical center of the country!
    As an example, just a couple of days ago, I was on Slade Road in the white/Asian/ black/muslim/non-muslim/whatever district of Erdington on the north side of the city, with my friend Paul, a Brummie (a person from Birmingham) like myself. After the traditional bacon and fried egg breakfast sandwich, it was time for something even more civilized - a ‘proper’ haircut and shave. For years Paul and I have been visiting the nearby ‘Hair by Imad’ whenever I visit this particular part of the world. The expertise shown in Birmingham’s several Kurdistani barber shops is second to none, with Imad and his staff of barbers being among the very best. Imad was not there upon our arrival but immediately one of the stuff phoned him to inform him of our unexpected visit. Fifteen minutes later he was there and greeted us with a beaming smile and long hug before providing us with a refreshing cup of Kurdistan tea and beginning what was to be a haircut, wet shave, and pampering that was to last for an hour-and-a-half. The aforementioned ‘idiot,’ Steve Emerson, would probably have run a mile upon seeing Imad with an open razor, no doubt fearing for the status of his empty head, but for me the ‘arrival’ of this vital tool of the trade was the sign that Imad’s unparalleled skills with such a ‘weapon’ were about to be used on my beard. The superb shave that followed was accompanied by a head and face massage, the ‘threading’ of my face with thin cotton to remove even the most minute of hairs, and a perfect haircut performed primarily with scissors. During the process there was much laughter, as well as a serious discussion on the atrocities committed by Islamist State in and around the the unofficial state of Kurdistan, Syria, Iraq, etc, - 'what they believe and do is not taught by Islam' observed Imad. Sorry, Mr Emerson, you moron, this was as far removed from hostile and a no-go experience as one could imagine - in the heart of Birmingham…
    After a little sight-seeing for a couple of hours around some old haunts of mine, it was time for a late lunch so we headed to the largely Asian inner city suburb of Balsall Heath, a part of Birmingham that Emerson may have been referring too, without bothering to realize that white folks, and every other color for that matter, are there in plentiful numbers to enjoy the delicious cuisines and hospitality. It was here that we ate at the Sheereen Kadah, a tandoori and Balti restaurant owned and operated by a Kashmiri Muslim family since the 1960s in Birmingham’s Balti Triangle, an area specifically known for Asian food. After another extremely friendly welcome, we settled down to the house specialty - Katlama - a dish made up if layers of puff pastry that sandwiches a spicy minced lamb filling, served with a chilli sauce that’s like a sweet and sour sauce, bright red in color with chunks of onion swimming around in it. Along with tandoori fish, a medley of different samosas, and a cup of Kashmiri tea, this made for another delightful experience amongst Muslims that was not in any way threatening.
    So, this was how two white guys spent a day in Steve Emerson’s ‘Muslim Only City.’ Obviously, the idiot’s comments were thoroughly ridiculed but, because Fox News had presented him as an ‘expert’ on terrorism, they have provided one more nail in an increasingly closed up coffin of what were once very positive and supportive thoughts amongst the British people towards the U.S. Many unenlightened Americans may feel they do not need the rest of the world, nor to show much interest in it, but more and more often in recent years I have found that this feeling is increasingly mutual. And that is sad…” Thank you for your insights, Steve… Onward

   
    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #123 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital are next in town on Thursdays, June 4 and 25…  #124 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley on Tuesday, June 2. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #125 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week at the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, May 28, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be  Buttermilk chicken, brown rice, brussels sprouts, barley salad, and strawberry lemon dessert… Then, next Tuesday, June 2, the lunch will feature Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, brussels sprouts, quinoa and avocado salad, with Birthday cupcakes for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week!  Hopefully you will be able to attend, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Well now I think it’s time to take my leave. Besides, as you may have guessed, I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So, until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - pleased in the knowledge that the old hare has returned safely to his burrow…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Skylark – read any good books lately?…Keep on humming, Hummingbird… Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is…

# 459 - 20th May, 2015

Greetings one and all – if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… I continue to be ‘unavoidably detained’ and therefore this week’s column will consist of Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s) concerning events that are taking place over the next week or two, along with the Senior Center community lunches and dinners, and… little else… Next week I hope to report on some of the recent goings-on that I have observed in these far off lands, but for now…

    One other thing to mention is that the U.S. will be ‘celebrating’ Memorial Day Weekend in a few days and, as I have mentioned before, it would be heart-warming if folks could take a moment or two to think about the reason why we get the long weekend to enjoy all of these events in the first place - to commemorate U.S. soldiers who have died while serving in the military. This day was first enacted to honor Union and Confederate soldiers following the American Civil War and it was extended after World War I to honor Americans who have died in all wars. With U.S. servicemen and women continuing to perish in various theaters of war, taking a moment to reflect on this would surely be a sign that their efforts have not been in vain and are deeply appreciated by those of us who live on…

    Onward… Calendars and pens at the ready… #425 - The A.V. High School branch of the F.F.A. is holding its next Drive Thru Dinner tomorrow - on Thursday, May 21. The meal includes a tri-tip roast, baked potatoes, beans, rolls, and watermelon slices. Tickets are $50 for a dinner for four or $25 for a dinner for two. You can call the School Ag Dept at 895-2514 to reserve your ticket. Dinner pick-up is from 3.30pm to 5.30pm… #426 - There are still spaces available for a special Farmers' Market event that moves from its regular location at the Boonville Hotel parking lot this weekend to connect with the Cinema in the Vineyards Event at Balo Vineyards and The Madrones just south of Philo on Saturday May 23rd. The Market, featuring local vendors and a Market Chef, will be a fundraiser for the Boonville Farmers' Market Food Stamp Matching Program & The A.V. Foodshed… #427 - The annual Memorial Day weekend Tri-Tip BBQ presented by the A.V. Lions to benefit the Elder Home, takes place on Sunday, May 24 from 3.30pm to 7.30pm. Enjoy wonderful tri-tip and chicken dinners with all the fixings. Beer, wine and other beverages will also be available along with music and a silent auction with some great items to bid on… #428 - The 13th Annual Anderson Valley Open Studio Self-guiding Tour is also coming up over Memorial Day Weekend, 11am to 5pm on Sat/Sun/Mon, May 23, 24, 25. For further details and map go to www.andersonvalley-artguild.org… #429 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital are next in town on Thursdays, June 4 and 25… #430 - The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open Tuesday and Saturday at The Fairgrounds - Tuesday 1.30pm-4.30pm and Saturday 2pm-4pm… #431 - The County Dump is open from 9am – 4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!...
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week at the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, May 21, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Joe's chili, cornbread, salsa, cheese, broccoli salad, tabbouleh salad, with cinnamon roll cake for dessert… Then, next Tuesday evening, May 26 at 6pm, the dinner will feature BBQ tri-tip, baked beans, roasted vegetables, garlic bread, cole slaw, orange gelatin, quinoa salad, and peach cobbler for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $$$ you’ll spend all week!  Hopefully you will be able to attend, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Well now I think it’s time to take my leave - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So, until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - pleased in the knowledge that the old hare has returned safely to his burrow…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace… Hi, George – hope you and Sheila are well… How are you, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!

# 458 - 13th May, 2015

     Greetings one and all – if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… So, while I continue to enjoy the Annual Birds of Prey Convention over here in the United Kingdom of Turkey Vultures, Buzzards, and Lesser Birds of Prey, what better place to file this report than from a pub?
     I am in the ‘big heart of England’ - Birmingham, the second largest city in Britain after London, and enjoying a pint and a steak and kidney pie and chips at The New Inns, a classic old pub built in the early 1900s. As has been the case for centuries, the pubs are mostly very welcoming, particularly those outside the trendy city center areas, and intentionally provide a warm and cozy atmosphere somewhat representative of people’s living rooms. With quality beers and ales from every tap (none with fruity flavors or overly hoppy, you know what I am talking about - ‘proper’ beers), and simple late night pub fayre such as cheese and onion cobs (rolls) or scratchings (fried pork skins), it’s like sitting in your own home with a bunch of friends and being served a perfect combination of food and drink. Why would you leave? Well, you don’t have to. With ‘after-hours’ available to those ‘locked in’ after the official 11pm closing time, when the curtains are closed and the ash trays come out, those remaining inside can continue with their fascinating conversations about ‘What makes a real English breakfast?’ (answer at the end of the paragraph); ‘How did the Conservatives win the election last week when I don’t know a single person who will admit to voting for them?’;  ‘Does anyone care if Scotland becomes independent?’; ‘Is the friendly barmaid in the low cut blouse staring at me or is it wishful thinking?’ etc, etc… By 2am these questions have all been answered and it’s time to get a taxi home - one that can carry six inebriated friends to their abodes not more than a couple of miles away. It’s a civilized way to live, I must say - even without the friendly barmaid… Oh, and of course, I must inform you that a real English Breakfast, known as ‘The Full English,’ consists of back bacon, pork sausages, fried eggs, baked beans (Heinz - available at Lemons’ Market in Philo), fried tomatoes, fried mushrooms, black pudding (dried pig’s blood), and one, some, or all of toast/bread and butter/fried bread, plus the inevitable cup of tea…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #121 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will be in town at the A.V. Farm on one more occasion this month - tomorrow Thursday, May 14. Call 462-8833 for further details. They set up at the AV Farm Supply from 2pm to 3.30pm and to avoid a line perhaps go around 3pm - you will definitely be seen. New customers and their pets are always welcome. Their next visits are June 4 and 25…#122 - The A.V. High School branch of the F.F.A. is holding its next Drive Thru Dinner on Thursday, May 21. The meal includes a tri-tip roast, baked potatoes, beans, rolls, and watermelon slices. Tickets are $50 for a dinner for four or $25 for a dinner for two. You can call the School Ag Dept at 895-2514 to reserve your ticket. Dinner pick-up is from 3.30pm to 5.30pm… #123 - The monthly ‘Open Mic’ night at Lauren’s restaurant in Boonville resumes this Saturday, February 15 at 9pm. All are welcome - musicians, singers, poets, writers, impressionists, magicians, comedians, actors, fire-eaters, pole dancers, sword swallowers, ventriloquists, raconteurs, exotic dancers, animal callers, etc. No clowns - apparently they would scare any kids who might be there, and no mimes, please - they scare just about everyone… #124 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley on Tuesday, May 19. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #125 - The A.V Museum continues its spring hours of Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’…#126 - Need a burn permit? You can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville, also home of the oddly named Community Services District (C.S.D.) which, for those of you wondering, deals with all issues connected with the fire department, our local airport, the recreation center, and those street lights in the center of our heaving metropolis. Call 895-2075 for any questions regarding any of these services or stop by - you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this… #127 - The A.V. Drumming Circle meets from 7pm to 9pm at The Grange on the second Wednesday of each month - that would be tonight. To be sure, call Rob at 895-3897 or Andy at 895-3020 for further details… #128 - And the final announcement this week - Support your local businesses!…

    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community Lunches over the next week at the Senior Center at the Veterans Hall in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from Seniors and charges $7 for Non-Seniors. Tomorrow, Thursday, May 14, the lunch, always served by Marti Titus and her crew at noon, will be Tamale loaf, cauliflower, salsa, black beans, wheat berry salad, and Wendy's chocolate oatmeal bars for dessert … Then next Tuesday, May 19, the menu will feature  Citrus cod, couscous, broccoli, kale barley salad, and triple lemon dessert… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week!  Hopefully you will be able to attend, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there… 

    Well now I think it’s time to take my leave - that barmaid is staring at me again… So, until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - pleased in the knowledge that the old hare has returned safely to his burrow…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on wagging that tail, Fred… Is that ‘lafter’ I hear, Carroll?... Knitting anything for me, Round-eyed Robin?

# 457 - 6th May, 2015

Greetings one and all – if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin… Well, it’s that time of year again - when I leave these parts for the Annual Turkey Vultures and Lesser Birds of Prey Convention at a secret location many miles from here. You will no doubt be pleased to hear that I shall be receiving a Special Vulturanitarian Award for lifetime services to the Birds of Prey Community of Northern California, to go along with yet another Carrion-Eater of the Year Title (Anderson Valley Region). Thanks to everyone who has made these awards possible, particularly of course Hummingbird, my fellow Vultures, and the noble carcass-providers... During my absence, It remains to be seen if I shall be able to write this column each week, although I shall certainly try to… Please prey for me…

    The news of Loretta Houck’s freakish yet awful accident last Thursday evening has resonated around the Valley as much as any such tragic accident in recent years. Loretta, a close friend of Hummingbird’s, is currently at Santa Rosa Memorial Hospital where she is undergoing procedures to help her recover from her fall on to rocks that were in the back of her and husband W. Dan’s truck as they helped to set up a fire pit in the A.V. Brewery’s grounds for the gathering of guest brewers etc in town for last Saturday’s Brew Fest. On the day after the accident, Dan reported that the back of her skull was crushed and neurosurgeons operated to relieve swelling and to deal with massive hemorrhaging and inner brain blood clots. The operation was a success but they will not  know the extent of the damage for quite some time. On Sunday, Dan sent this update to Hummingbird who forwarded it to many Valley folks, “Lots of very positive signs. She is occasionally taking extra breaths, essentially pushing the ventilator. She is moving all of her limbs in an apparently intentional manner. She has been scratching her belly today. She has opened her eyes briefly and looked around. This morning she took hold of the bed railings on either side and nearly pulled herself up. She wiggles fingers and toes, more readily on the right. Good trend but it could all change instantly with more swelling or infection. She is strong, she has surprised several nurses with her moves to pull tubes out or stop uncomfortable procedures. We sense that it is the Loretta we know fighting with whatever means available to come out. Thank you all for the thoughts, prayers and offers of help. It is out of our hands at the moment but when it is our turn it is wonderful to know there are so many available for the work ahead”… Loretta, who is the former owner of local store Laughing Dog Books and currently the County Fair Business Assistant at The Fairgrounds in Boonville, no doubt has the support and positive energy of many Valley folks as we hope and pray for favorable news and join her in collectively summoning up the necessary spirit and belief for her recovery. She is a strong woman and if anyone can come through this she can… We’re with you Loretta…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #740 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have confirmed three upcoming dates for when they will be in the Valley - Thursdays, May 14, June 4, and June 25 - that’s every three weeks and an almost regular schedule!… #741- The Boonville Farmers’ Market has moved back to its regular summer location in the parking lot at the Boonville Hotel. It runs from 10-12:30 and you are encouraged to come by with your locally grown or made food or crafts, to sell or trade, or just stop in to check out the wonderful produce etc that is for sale. For more info, call Cindy at 895-2949… #742 - The Anderson Valley Grange is having its regular second Sunday Pancake Breakfast on May 10 from 8:30-11am. Prices range from $5-10 - kids through hungry folks, for a delicious, locally-sourced breakfast. Choices include pancakes (gluten free is available but extra gluten is not), eggs, and bacon, with a choice of juice, tea or coffee included… #743 - The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open Tuesday and Saturday at The Fairgrounds - Tuesday 1.30pm - 4.30pm and Saturday 2pm - 4pm… #744 - The County Dump is open from 9am - 4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!… #745 - The latest small business opening in town is A.D. Jones Jewelry, open Thursday to Monday from noon to five each day at its location in Railroad Car #1 opposite the Redwood Drive-In. The owner/operator is Andy Jones who covers a wide range of jewelry-related areas from repairs and restoration, to collectibles and antiques, and even watch batteries… #746 - Final announcement this week - Support your local businesses!…

    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week at the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, May 7, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be  Chicken picatta, rice, green beans, farro and kale salad, and Tiramisu for dessert… Then, next Tuesday evening, May 12 at 6pm, the dinner will feature Beef and broccoli, rice asian slaw, raspberry gelatin, barley salad and cherry dump cake for dessert. As this is the 2nd Tuesday of the month, the dinner will be followed by Bingo at 7pm... All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best $7 you’ll spend all week!  Hopefully you will be able to attend, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
… A number of 3-Dot regulars were particularly saddened to hear that Gracie, the loving and much beloved Tibetan terrier whose best friend and guardian was Leslie Hummel, formerly of All that Good Stuff store in Boonville, had been put to sleep due to an incurable case of Lyme disease. To add to the sense of loss, the two of them, woman and dog, were about to embark together on an extended road trip across America in a recently acquired fifth wheel. Gracie was a special dog, one who had many admirers, and her sudden death at the age of just six-and-a-half will leave friends of Leslie, Valley dog lovers, and anyone else who was aware of the precious bond that these two shared, with a deep sorrow… Undoubtedly, caring thoughts and heartfelt wishes for the grieving to fade as quickly as possible are with Leslie at this difficult time…
… ‘Awesome’ is a word that could be used to describe Gracie with justification. However, in my humble opinion, the word is expressed far more often than it is warranted, and one cannot help but question whether everything referred to these days as ‘awesome’ is really as awe-inspiring as the way the word is defined? Much of what is so described is, if the truth were to be spoken, ‘especially good’, ‘very tasty’, ‘exceedingly pleasant’, particularly interesting’, ‘very well done’, ‘most impressive’, etc. Things that are actually awe-inspiring and earn the description ‘awesome’ could equally be referred to as being breathtaking, magnificent, overwhelming, stunning, sublime, and wondrous. So come on, was that burger actually ‘breathtaking,’ or was it ‘especially good’?... Just wondering, and trying to keep it real…
… Given the weather we have experienced recently, of which there seems no end, it would seem that the helicopter-esque frost protection fans used by a number of the Valley’s wineries are not going to be causing any more discomfort until next year. Inevitably this hot Valley topic of February and March would appear to have run its course - for now. Interestingly, while the problems have been widespread through the Valley in the last couple of years, in the Deep End / Christine Woods region this noise pollution has been an issue for many years - since 2008 in fact!. Here is a comment that appeared in this column seven years ago - back in April of that year… ‘This week’s Whine of the Week comes about as a result of The Nest being situated about a mile or so away from the nearest winery, which is apparently not nearly far enough! Over this past weekend we experienced three successive nights of temperatures below freezing and when this occurs, particularly at this time of year with the vines budding, the wineries choose to turn on their giant fans that blast air across the vines and prevent the frost from damaging them. The noise these fans make mean it’s like living under The Bay Bridge with a constant loud hum/whirring continuing through the night. Those who live closer to the vines than we do can probably cannot hear themselves think! For someone who loves a glass or two of the red nectar this may sound a little hypocritical, and it is! However, at times the noise resembles a helicopter landing a couple of hundred feet away - even for those somewhat stupefied from enjoying a little too much wine. As for those who don’t even drink, thy must be most upset at this selfish behavior by the wineries from which there is no hiding. It doesn’t seem right. I have no answer, but in the meantime I’ll have a glass of Pinot and give it some more thought…’ Clearly this almost light-hearted piece was written before things became unbearable locally, and affected greater numbers further afield… The rest is history…
    Well now I think it’s time to take my leave. So, until we talk again – ‘Keep the Faith’; be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - pleased in the knowledge that the old hare has returned safely to his burrow
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Bobwhite Quail - what are you knitting for me next?