# 210 - May 26th, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... Just as we did last week for Rod Basehore, I once again I entreat you to join in with a collective Valley invocation to the ultimate powers-that-be for the full recovery of one of the Valley’s better guys. This time it’s for Tom Smith, the ever-present (1992-2010) Variety Show behind-the-scenes guy not to mention long-time high school soccer coach, who was the innocent party in a head-on collision last week on Hwy 128 near to the Standish Winery. Currently in the Intensive Care Unit at Santa Rosa Memorial, he will be leaving the hospital in a week or so to return home and continue his recovery from some quite severe injuries to his hip, ribs, ankle, wrist, thumb, and face. According to his wife Val, there are no head injuries, his internal organs are fine (Tom has had three livers and two kidneys), and the prognosis is very positive... Anyway, even though I am well aware that Tom is as irreligious as they come, and has a very fatalistic view on life, he of all people must have realized by now, following his nine near-death experiences (including surviving the Tsunami in Thailand a few years ago), that somebody, somewhere is on his side! Let’s do the invocation anyway... All together now - ........................................ - Well done, everyone; and on behalf of Tom, many thanks...
With this in mind, for the Quote of the Week let’s go with the brief, simple, yet precise and all-encompassing words of Juvenal, the Roman poet and satirist, who said, “We should pray for a sane mind in a sound body.” Knowing Tom as I do, he’s always had the first part of this covered, and now, having spent much of his life struggling with the second part, I have no doubt he can pull through to a full recovery better than most. Welcome to your tenth life, Tom...
Public Service Announcements.... #100 – Vote! Vote! Vote! Election Day is in less than two weeks – Tuesday, June 8th... #101 – On the Friday and Saturday of both weekends - May 28th/29th and June 4th/5th - the A.V. Grange Theatre Guild will present its annual production, ‘Dearly Departed’, a comedy about a dysfunctional family gathering for a funeral and featuring many local ‘stars’ of the stage... #102 – The Lions Club will be doing its Tri-Tip BBQ thing to benefit the A.V. ElderHome on Sunday May 30th at the Fairgrounds in Boonville. The fun begins at about 4.30pm and you know it makes sense to be there... #103 – Over the same weekend, May 28th – 31st, we have the annual A.V. Senior Center Flea Market in the parking lot at the Veterans’ Hall in Boonville... #104 – And yet another event this coming weekend is the Valley’s Open Studio Tour, May 29th – 31st. See posters/leaflets for details...
Moving quickly on to a few of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley at a location known only to ‘those in the know’...
... Along with other Three-Dot regulars last Friday afternoon, I was at the opening of Laughing Dog Books, the new and used book store in the heart of Boonville. Owner Loretta Houck is going to be open Friday thru’ Monday for now so try not to forget about this option when getting your next book and rather than go on-line or elsewhere give Loretta a call or stop by. Supporting our local businesses will make you, and them, feel so much better...
... Talking of which, two regulars had nothing but praise for the lovely ‘do’s’ they received at the hands of Amanda Hiatt, owner/stylist at the local salon, Sheer Elegance, in Boonville opposite the Fairgrounds’ Office. This is the only salon in town at this point and Amanda specializes in hair, nails, and tanning. She can be reached for appointments at 707-489-0703...
... Some regulars pointed out to me the large disparity in the number of C.H.P. officers in town between the recent Beer Festival and Pinot Festival. One regular said he had counted seven C.H.P. cars at the Beer Fest and just one in town for the Pinot Festival. Although attendance was far greater for the Beer Fest they were basically in one place whereas Pinot-Sippers were all over the Valley, particularly on the Sunday. There were eleven arrests at the Beer Fest (not at all bad in a crowd of 7,000) and I imagine that a similar number of people could have been ‘taken over the hill’ after attending the Pinot gatherings but weren’t. Thankfully there were no serious accidents at either event. However, I imagine that a decision was made by someone, somewhere, to not unduly bother the wine sippers – a sort of profiling of different drunks. Hmmm, interesting?...
... The Bar formerly known as ‘The Boonville Lodge’ will re-open around the end of June/ early July under a name to be decided upon, although ‘Boonville Lodge’ might still be an option... At this point I have no news on the restaurant at that location other than it will not be run by the bar owners, and it may not be connected at all. That’s too bad; I do like a juicy burger before settling down with friends to a bottle of Jameson’s Irish whisky...
... In a related note, the alterations, renovations, and repairs at The Buckhorn Building down the street continue, as the search goes on for a new tenant by building owners Gary and Ginny Island. They clearly would like this to be run by ‘professionals’ in the pub/restaurant world and that is to be commended, not to mention being a wise move in such a tough business. I wish them well and hopefully those ‘professionals’ will be found sooner rather than later. After all, like many other Valley folk, I am missing some spicy wings with my pint of Guinness...
... Finally, a very sociable Three-Dot regular reliably informed the rest of us that the new owners of the A.V. Brewery threw a staff party a few weeks ago to celebrate their takeover. It was a splendid affair and, perhaps more significantly, as far as anyone could remember it was the first time a party thrown by the Brewery ownership was fully catered and not a potluck at which employees were expected to contribute. I couldn’t possibly comment...
I’m outta here; I have to see a man about a sheep... With the hot weather almost with us, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle... Otherwise, be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Poking and stroking egos wherever necessary, and as always, humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...Keep the Faith...
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net

# 209 - May 19th, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... The Anderson Valley Theater Guild will present its 2010 production over two weekends in the very near future. The play is entitled ‘Dearly Departed’, a comedy about a dysfunctional family gathering for a funeral and will feature thirteen of the Valley’s finest thespians. The shows will go on at 7pm both Friday and Saturday on the weekends of May 28th/29th and June 4th/5th and at this point the biggest concern is not over the quality of the show (my inside contact believes it is the Guild’s best presentation to date) but the health of Director, Rod Basehore. With that in mind, let’s offer up a collective Valley invocation to the heavens for both his recovery and the resumption of his indefatigable leadership of those ‘treading the boards’...
Continuing on this topic, for our Quote of the Week, I suggest that in Rod’s absence the actors follow these words of advice from two-time Oscar winner for Best Actor, the great Spencer Tracy, “Just learn your lines and don’t bump into the furniture.” I don’t think even Rod could put it more simply that that!
Public Service Announcements.... #93 – It’s that time again, well not quite because normally the Barn Sale is the last weekend of the month but with that being Memorial Day Weekend it is going to be Saturday and Sunday, May 22nd and 23rd instead. You know the deal – it’s at The Big Barn at The St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church Refectory on A.V. Way just north of Boonville from 9am to 3pm both days. The bargains await and the bbq will be open!... #94 – The Bob Ayers Big Band will be playing at Lauren’s on Saturday May 22nd after dinner at 9pm... #95 – The ‘Live Music in The Deep End’ starts its summer run this coming Sunday afternoon (May 23rd) with the Hansen and Raitt Band. Pablo will be on the grill, the beer and wine will be inexpensive, and the music will be special. See you there...
Moving quickly on to some of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley at a location known only to ‘those in the know’...
... Regulars at the The Three-Dot gave rave reviews for the Spaghetti Dinner and Bingo night at the Senior Center last week. Joe Hansen, using the ‘top secret’ Pardini Spaghetti Sauce recipe, showed why he is the Pasta King and the Bing session was a big success, particularly for winners Bingo All-Pro Pat Hulbert and Supervisor Candidate Dan Hamburg. I’m sure if the event had a beer and wine license, which it may well do in the future, he’d have bought the house a drink! They’ll do it all again with another guest cook on Tuesday June 8th...
... The annual Pinot Festival took place this past weekend here in the Valley and from what I hear there were some truly exceptional wines that were enjoyed by some very wealthy people along with some not quite as wealthy people, all of them imbibing and pontificating amongst undoubtedly beautiful surroundings. Same as every year then – not that there is anything wrong with any of that, of course...
... Something not the same as last year is the list of live music playing in The Deep End this summer, dropped off at The Three-Dot by live music impresario and Navarro Store owner Dave Evans... As mentioned above in the P.S.A.’s the summer starts off with the Hanson and Raitt Band this Sunday, then in two weeks time, over the whole weekend of June 5th/6th, it’s the ‘Rainbow Beat on the Mountain’ event featuring all sorts of entertainment, including a variety of Mendocino’s finest musicians and headlined by the incomparable Willie G on the Saturday night at 7pm... More updates for The Summer Series of Live Music next week...
... A real wisenheimer at the Lounge asked if The A.V. Chamber of Commerce was the Valley’s best-kept secret. Some customers laughed at this harmless comment, some humorless types leapt to the defense of The Chamber, and some simply nodded knowingly. I didn’t know what group to join...
... After the recent blockbuster news about the new bar(s) possibly opening in the Valley (at the Buckhorn Building and The Lodge), may I just point out that the landlord at the former Lodge location will continue to be David Johnson of Sonoma, who, after sitting on a vacant building for five months, has greatly reduced his rental demands so that they are now in keeping with what former tenant Tom Towey and The Boonville Lodge might very well have been prepared to pay if given the chance. Has anyone fed those wild pigs on Ornbaun Road recently? Just wondering...
Oh, dear, have I upset somebody? - I’ll get my coat and leave shall I?... With the hot weather almost with us, please remember to keep your windows cracked if you have pets in your vehicle... Otherwise, be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Poking and stroking wherever necessary, and as always, humbly yours, Turkey Vulture...Keep the Faith...
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net
p.p.s. Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!
p.p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace...

# 208 - May 12th, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... Let’s start off with a few “Many Happy Returns” to our seniors who celebrate a birthday in May - ‘Walter ‘Shine’ Tuttle, Joan Spears, Ava Glover, Judy Basehore, Jim Lindsey, and Aujes DeRjek... On a far less positive Valley note, I am sitting here typing this at 5am on a Thursday morning because a winery in the Floodgate area of the Valley insists on keeping tens of people awake with their ludicrously loud frost-protection fans. You can be sure that the winery’s owner and winemaker are sleeping well wherever they reside. Now if only I had their home phone number – I could call them right now to ‘discuss’ this entirely unsatisfactory situation...
Talking of which, some interesting and very relevant comments appeared recently in both this esteemed publication’s Letters Page and also in personal comments/e-mails to me. They all talk of the perceived ‘anti-social’ behavior practiced by certain (not all) wineries in the Valley, something that has been on the minds of many Valley folks once again in recent months. There is no doubt that there are some ill-informed comments out there but with antagonism towards the wineries once again on the rise it is something worth clarifying for many... And what I mention above, the frost-protection fans that run through the night and which, for many, sound like helicopters landing in their driveway, is just one of the issues.
The very noisy spraying of pesticides (supposedly organic and harmless) in the dead of night; one-legged birds; six-legged frogs; and even very harmful side-effects to human health are more instances. Not to mention the drastic reduction in the Valley’s water table and increase in the number of dried-up creeks. Are there any links between these matters and the wineries? I do not know for sure but many people around the Valley think there certainly might be. Is anyone checking on this? Are there any noise pollution laws in effect? What is being sprayed in the middle of the night? Do the fans really have to be that loud? Where’s the investigative journalist when you need one? Or is it, as some would have us believe, all just an anti-winery conspiracy plot that is being slowly hatched. Whichever is the case, I think we should be told. In the meantime does anyone know if Golden Eye Winery sells earplugs? And if they do, are they giving away a free case of wine with each pair? It would seem very rude not to, wouldn’t you say?...
Now, instead of being a nuisance to the public, how about if I try to do the opposite with a few Public Service Announcements? Here we go... #215 – Dean Titus and The Coyote Cowboys will perform at Lauren’s this coming Saturday, May 15th. Special guest Redd Volkaert will also be playing and the fun begins at 9pm, just as dinner ends... #216 – And more live music is in store for you as we see the resumption from the winter break of the Deep End Live Music series at The Navarro Store. The first show will feature Hansen and Raitt on Sunday, May 23rd so you’ve plenty of time to cancel what you were planning to do and get yourself down there for an afternoon of bbq, refreshments, and fine, fine music... #217 – The monthly Grange meeting is next Tuesday at 7pm...
Mention of The Grange leads me to think of former Grange Master, Captain Rainbow, and the pleasant chat I had with him last week. I can assure you that my recent reference to him as Corporal Raindrop, caused the man himself not a ‘drop’ of concern or annoyance. Particularly as he has just headed off to the Darfur region of Sudan where he plans to spend the next six months at least with aid worker Yvonne, his lovely significant other, working to provide water and irrigation for a refugee camp of over 100,000 people. Meanwhile, I would like to think that someone who is sixty-plus years old and goes by the name Captain Rainbow clearly still has a sense of humor and also the ability to not take himself too seriously; and besides, it looks as if he will have more serious things to worry about. Have a safe trip, Raindrop, I have no doubt the Valley will miss you, and you the Valley, and it’s not ‘goodbye’ but rather ‘au revoir’......
Moving quickly on to a couple of the topics under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley at a location known only to ‘those in the know’...
... One of our regulars at The Three Dot tells me that those having difficulties getting their dog to do as they are told should contact Sallie Palmer, owner/operator of ‘Well Mannered Mutts’, a dog training business that sees Sallie visit the Valley from Ukiah if she has a class of eight or so customers to teach. Several Valley dog owners are currently enrolled in one of her classes and certified trainer Sallie would willingly offer another one if the demand is here. By all accounts she does a great job and works with dogs of all ages and issues. Sallie can be reached at 463-DOGS or cell 621-3647 and via www.wellmanneredmutts.com...
... No sooner had the A.V.A. gone to print recently, with my comment that we are not getting enough information about the upcoming School Bond issue, than the newspaper’s Supreme Leader walked into The Three Dot and announced that he had just received a letter in the mail that contained that much sought-after information. It was sent out by School Board member, Dick Browning, and gave the required details, plus asked for help and money at the same time. Good job, Dick, you must have read my thoughts – clearly ‘great’ minds think alike!
... Another customer commented that a real mess has occurred with distribution of the Census Forms. He informed us that many people in rural areas are not receiving these because they receive their mail only via a Post Office Box and the government, using Fed Ex, will not deliver this important form unless it goes to an actual house. He added that if you are one of that huge number of people then your only alternative at this point is to go to either the High School or Elementary School and pick one up, or call 1-866-872-6868 and request one...
Well, I’m outta here... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Poking and stroking, and as always, humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net

# 207 - May 5th, 2010

Greetings one and all - if you are sitting comfortably then I shall begin... When it rains, it pours – and I’m not talking about the weather. No, I’m referring to another very popular topic of debate around here - the bar/pub/restaurant situation in the Valley - and the sudden outburst of enterprise over the past few days, following weeks, months even, of inactivity. Kudos and a few high-fives to Gary and Ginny Island for deciding to lease their long-empty Buckhorn Building in the heart of Boonville as a prospective bar/restaurant, if and when the right person can be found. Many in the community are no doubt very excited at this prospect, as are those who would dearly welcome back The Boonville Lodge, which I am reliably informed, is also another distinct possibility on the horizon after some recent high-level meetings.
As most of what I know is ‘off the record’ (and I do try to adhere to such guidelines even though I am just a hack writer with the scruples of any other Turkey Vulture), as a former ‘bookie’ (for entertainment purposes only of course) all I can offer you at this point are my odds on each of the current crop of rumors, whispers, and reports that are circulating: 2:1 - The Boonville Lodge re-opens in a couple of months with the full liquor license sold to local interests by Tom Towey and Carroll Pratt (thank you, Gentlemen – you will go to Heaven), but maybe not with the restaurant; 5:1 - The Buckhorn Building becomes a cozy, family friendly pub/restaurant with several interior changes (smaller bar, fireplace, new entrance) and a beer garden, operating with a beer and wine license; 15:1 - The Lodge building becomes a Mexican Cantina serving beer and wine; 25:1 – The liquor license is sold to someone outside the Valley, meaning any bar establishment opening any time soon in Boonville would only be able to serve beer and wine; 30:1 ‘King’ Ken Allen, recently retired from the A.V. Brewery, buys back the Buckhorn Building and opens a new brew pub serving ‘Allen’s Ales’ and ‘Ken’s Fun Fries’; 100:1 – The Buckhorn Building becomes the most successful small business in the history of the Valley as a combination pizzeria/bank/pharmacy/laundromat/pub... Whichever of these scenarios happens, at the very least there appears to be a couple of very bright shafts of light at the end of a long and dark tunnel...
Onward... Following my remarks a couple of weeks ago regarding the wide range of propane prices in the Valley and beyond, and my warning to keep an eye on them, I have received comments from several readers, many of them quite angry with the situation. In summation it would seem that the whole propane business is one big racket with deals offered either with little rhyme or reason or at the discretion of the person in the office, particularly if the threat of changing company is made. Meanwhile, special offers are made to entice new customers, mysterious add-on fees and surcharges appear on bills, and exorbitant charges are made to remove tanks if a customer changes their propane company. All-in-all, it is a very unsatisfactory situation and I can only advise propane users take these few precautions. Try to compare the prices of the four main companies – Suburban Propane (462-3858), Ferrellgas (463-1515), Eel River Fuels (462-5554), and Redwood Coast Fuels (463-3100); to check bills from one to the next and be aware that prices should be coming down in the next few months until reaching the annual low in August; and if your price per gallon goes up call and inquire why, and do not be put off with vague explanations – ask to talk to the supervisor if you are not satisfied. Good luck with this, you will need it.
The Three Dot Lounge, which has recently been undergoing some much-needed renovation is now open again so let’s move quickly to a few of the topics under discussion there over the past week or so - yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, at a location known only to ‘those in the know’...
... Is there a more pleasant and helpful local business owner than Leslie Hummel at ‘All that Good Stuff? No, I didn’t think there was and everyone at The Three Dot agrees...
... Several Three-Dot customers, including yours truly, were fortunate to be at the Senior Center’s ‘Last Tuesday Dinner’ on the 27th because the chicken enchilada fiesta that was prepared by Natalie Matson, with help from Candy Slotte, was absolutely delicious and thoroughly enjoyed by the fifty-two other people who showed up. Some regulars even commented that it was the best meal they’d had there in a long, long time. Well done to Natalie and Candy – hope you get to do it again sometime soon...
... Talking of fine dining experiences, Lauren’s Restaurant is now open for lunch through the upcoming summer months. She will be serving from 11.30am to 2.30pm, Thursday thru’ Sunday, and based on the delicious smoked turkey quesadilla, chicken curry salad, and roasted Rocky Chicken sandwich with fries that Hummingbird and I devoured there yesterday it’s not something to be missed. And while I’m talking about Lauren’s remember that she has the only Happy Hour in town – Friday’s from 5pm to 6pm-ish when all drinks are $1 off. Yer gotta like that!...
... And finally, many thanks to Pat Hulbert for dropping off a note that said, “Dear Mr. Vulture, On Saturday, 8th of May, the Philo Church is having a Bake Sale on Lemon's porch in Philo, from 10am until everything is sold. This will include huckleberry and apple pies, tarts, cakes, breads and cookies. I wanted to let you know as you said that you missed the last one, and wanted one of my pies. See you there. God Bless, Pat Hulbert.” Yes you will, Pat and many others too, I imagine...
Public Service Announcements - #421 – The Beer Festival is this coming Saturday, May 8th, from 1pm – 5pm at The Fairgrounds in Boonville... #422 - Next Tuesday night’s (May 11th) special event at the Veterans’ Hall in Boonville will be the first in a regular monthly event called ‘Dinner and Bingo Night’ being held to benefit the Senior Center, and on this occasion will feature a spaghetti dinner by chef Joe ‘Mr. Spaghetti’ Hansen at 6pm, immediately followed by Bingo with lots of prizes. It’s all for a good cause obviously and at just $7 for non-seniors ($5 suggested donation for seniors) everyone is encouraged to attend... #423 – Dave Evans, Navarro Store owner and music impresario bar none in the Valley, informs me that the live music in the Valley scene he has cultivated so energetically over the past couple of years will return to The Deep End on the afternoon of Sunday, May 23rd. More details regarding this gig and the rest of the Summer Live Music Series will follow shortly...
A regular reader, The New Jersey Jay, writes “I was reading Turkey Vulture today and I must say I really enjoy how he gives the odd "poke" when some need it but also a gentle "stroke" when it is earned. Keep up the good work, T.V.”... Well, on such a positive and very perceptive note I think it’s time to take my leave before I go and spoil it... Be careful out there; stay out of the ditches; think good thoughts; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Poking and stroking, and as always, humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse at turkeyvulture1 @ earthlink.net