# 521 - 27th July, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    Donald Trump received the nomination of the Republican Party last week. That development was virtually unthinkable a year ago when he was generally viewed as a loud-mouthed, crude and tactless television celebrity with a massive ego, who had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth. In this column on 22 July, 2015, many months before the primaries got underway, I wrote “So, according to the latest Newsweek poll, Donald Trump leads the Republican pack for his party’s nomination?! Unbelievable! Come on, American citizens - behave yourselves!” Then on July 29, 2015, I followed up with, “The Republican Party Circus, err, sorry, Presidential Nomination Process, is a dreadful display of politics at its most crass, but even by normal standards Donald Trump is operating under rules of his own making that are perfectly suited to the voracious hunger of the modern media, and the hyperventilated-style of modern campaigning. The Donald has realized that the more outrageous his remarks, the more coverage and social media comment he generates. And the more coverage he receives, the better his polling numbers seemingly become. Increasingly, it appears that notoriety equals popularity amongst a large cohort of Republican voters…” One year later, and look where we are…
    A few days before Trump’s official nomination was announced last week, I watched a PBS documentary about the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962, perhaps the closest the world has ever come to nuclear destruction. With the location of Soviet nuclear missiles confirmed just ninety miles away from U.S. shores, the crisis developed over thirteen extremely tense days in October between the U.S. on one side and Cuba and the Soviet Union on the other. President Kennedy had to make a number of decisions, particularly a final one, from an Oval office in which he was surrounded by hawkish advisors, both civilian and military, who almost unanimously wanted to bomb the missile sites and invade, and then deal with the consequences of a Soviet response. That response would have been nuclear war… Kennedy provided a cool head, possessing a strong sense that there was a diplomatic way out. There was. The U.S. agreed to Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev’s offer to remove the Cuban missiles in exchange for the U.S. promising not to invade Cuba. Kennedy also secretly agreed to remove outdated U.S. missiles from Turkey. The crisis was averted. Kennedy’s diplomatic abilities and capacity for critical thinking prevented a series of reactions of catastrophic proportions. I do not think for one instant that Trump would be able to get the same result were a similar set of circumstances to occur again. Or that he would deal well in any international crisis where judiciousness was required.
    The damage to this country of Trump presidency will be potentially widespread - a lack of diplomacy borne of his narcissistic bullying; the tearing up trade agreements; continuing vitriolic rhetoric against Muslims and political rivals; and his plans for the “Mexican wall’ and deportation of 11 million immigrants. However, perhaps the most worrying aspect is that a person with his poor self-control and flawed temperament would have to make snap decisions on national security - with the world’s most powerful army, navy, and air force at his command and nuclear-launch codes at his disposal… A scary thought indeed…
   
    Onward… During the recent ‘Battle of the Swap Sites’ which was fought publicly, and at times unpleasantly, on Facebollocks between Boont Swap and Valley Hub (née Philo Swap), many Valley folks expressed the need to know about the many events/services in the Valley. Upon my urging, I now hope they have found their way here - where such information has been offered for over ten years. Of course it does mean making an investment of $1 in the AVA… Here we go for this week… Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #543 - The Damn Difficult Living Fair (sometimes referred to as the Not So Simple Living Fair) will take place this coming weekend, Friday-Sunday, July 29-31 at the Fairgrounds in Boonville, beginning with Corporal Raindrop hosting the first night’s ‘Open Mic’ before the event gets fully underway on the Saturday… #544 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will make two visits next month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. These will be on the first and third Thursdays - that’s August 4 and 18… #545 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues every Saturday in the parking lot of the Boonville Hotel, 9.30am-Noon. For more information, call Cindy at 895-2949… #546 - The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open on Tuesdays and Saturdays at The Fairgrounds - Tuesday 1.30pm-4.30pm and Saturday 2pm-4pm… #547 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!… #548 - Heads-Up #1 - Bob Day and Nathan McMath are two members of the five-piece jazz combo that will be performing at The Buckhorn on Friday, August 5 at 7.30pm. There’s no cover charge to be entertained by this quality live music in the Valley and obviously all the food and drink you may wish to enjoy. Ya gotta like that… #549 - Heads-up #2 - The 17th annual Boonville Aviation Knowledge and Folklore Convention, aka Airport Day, takes place on Friday and Saturday, August 12/13. This will feature a Friday evening Happy Hour gathering at the A.V. Brewery Visitor Center with festivities on Saturday beginning at noon, culminating in a pot luck dinner (drinks provided) at 5pm. For additional information, contact Cindy or Kirk Wilder at 895-2949…    New, different, and some repeat P.S.A.s will appear in this space next week…   
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, July 28, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Spaghetti with meat sauce and Tiramisu for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, August 2, as always for the first lunch of the month, the menu will feature Meat Loaf and mashed potatoes with gravy, followed by Triple Chocolate dessert… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week! As this is the 2nd Tuesday of the month, the dinner will be followed by Bingo/Bunco at 7pm… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Easy-stretch Yoga, as part of the Active Life Club that runs from 10am to 2pm and which also features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond…
... Up for debate this past week among 3-Dot regulars was the question, ’Does the Valley Chamber of Commerce promote commerce in the Valley?’ After lengthy discourse, it was agreed that the group’s website is much improved (the frustratingly inadequate monthly calendar with virtually no information has thankfully been removed) and now provides more information than ever before. The list of services and businesses is very thorough. Good job!… However, if you are an out-of-towner considering a visit to the Valley, the need to know what is going on does not seem to be readily available. A number of significant events and functions are still not mentioned, have incorrect information, or are out of date - for example there is no mention of the ‘Not-So-Simple-Living Fair;’ the County Fair is always the 3rd weekend in September (not the 2nd); and the last of the wonderful Woolgrowers’ Fairs, which is highlighted, was back in 2007! I understand that this takes time and effort and these oversights have been excused by, firstly, the expectation that local businesses/organizations submit their own events etc, and also by the fact that the Board members are all volunteers… Therefore, a definitive answer to the question was still undecided and tabled for a later date...
… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “What is going on?!? America’s store, Walmart, was out of America’s cereal, Kellogg's cornflakes, at their location in Ukiah on Thursday of last week. If this isn’t a sign that the Apocalypse is very close indeed, I don’t know what is… It’s even more egregious than the Valley’s general stores being out of chocolate chip vanilla ice cream or Lauren’s Restaurant’s superb fries being taken off the menu because the fryer broke down… Yes, it’s been a tough week…”
    I feel your pain, Buzzard… Ok, I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so until we talk again - Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Skylark – read any good books lately?… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is…

# 520 - 20th July, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    The rise of Donald Trump in this country is another example of the kind of right-wing populist politics that is gaining ground in many western democracies. Think France, Germany, Netherlands, Austria, and, less surprisingly, Hungary and Poland… It doesn’t seem to mater what the leaders of these movements say in order to gather support; they are often self-important egomaniacs who have made an art form of putting their feet in their mouths, but they are being listened to - hence the rise of France’s Le Pen, Austria’s Norbert Hofer, and of course Trump, hardly a great thinker and certainly a big talker. As a result, we have a xenophobic, trust fund kid with a hugely inflated ego, accompanied by arrogance that has no bounds; a shameless racist who quotes from the National Enquirer, peddles conspiracy theories, routinely calls women fat and ugly, who has advocated torture and bombing of women and children, and yet who has managed to capture the hearts, minds, and votes of a majority of Republicans… Surely the opponent of such a candidate, even one with several serious shortcomings of their own, would easily win a national election between the two? It would appear to be not necessarily so… Is it really time to fly off to my private isolated island in the Pacific to escape the madness?…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #543 - Tomorrow, July 21, from 2-3.30pm, the Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will make their second visit this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. To avoid a line perhaps turn up at around 3pm - you will definitely be seen. New customers and their pets are always welcome and previous visitors should be aware that they can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them - making this an even better service than it already is! They are trying to keep to a schedule of the first and third Thursdays and so they will be here twice again next month - August 4 and 18… #544 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley next Tuesday, July 26. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #545 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours to spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’… #546 - The Increasingly Difficult Living Fair (sometimes referred to as the Not So Simple Living Fair) will take place at the Fairgrounds in Boonville over the weekend of July 29-31. For more information go to http://notsosimple.info/.… #547 - The Boon Dogs of Aquarelle Cafe and Wine Bar fame are now being served outside the A.V. Brewery Visitor Center on Friday and Saturday afternoons. An idea someone I know had many years ago… Keevan the DogMan is on the grill from Noon to 6pm or so and if you fancy a very tasty treat while sipping fine beers or playing frisbee golf then he’s the man to talk to… #548 - This coming Saturday, July 23, it’s the Open Mic at Lauren's Restaurant in downtown Boonville. Dinner will be served from 5pm to 9pm. Open Mic starts at 9pm with sign-ups at 8.30pm. All are welcome - musicians, singers, poets, writers, impressionists, magicians, comedians, actors, fire-eaters, pole dancers, sword swallowers, ventriloquists, raconteurs, exotic dancers, animal callers, etc. No clowns - apparently they would scare any kids who might be there (and we definitely cannot have that), and no mimes, please - they scare almost everyone else! For more information call 895-3869…   
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, July 21, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Beef & Chicken Tostada with Mixed Berry Nachos… Then, next Tuesday, July 26, the evening meal served at 6pm, will feature BBQ Ribs and Texas Sheet Cake for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week!… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Easy-stretch Yoga, as part of the Active Life Club that runs from 10am to 2pm and which also features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue… Let’s start with a couple of questions raised by enquiring minds sitting at the bar...
... ‘Is Yorkville in Anderson Valley?’... Well technically ‘Yes’, and historically the answer would be a resounding ‘Yes, of course’. However, as some folks pointed out, geographically there are several significant hills/ravines/small valleys in between ‘the High Rollers and us’, so maybe it is worth some debate. Furthermore, I know of several Yorkville folks who feel they are not included in the overall Valley’s mindset – some of whom are annoyed by that fact and some who are quite pleased about the situation... To be discussed further...
... And a second question posed by our bar-dwellers was, ‘Does a Book Club need to serve wine at its gatherings?’ I personally believe to get to the heart of the book, to its very essence, and to fully digest the author’s intentions and message, then wine should most certainly be served. But I could be wrong, of course...
… The Anderson Valley Advertiser has moved its world headquarters out of the Farrer Building to a new location alongside the Redwood Drive-In. They/we are now situated in a compound of well-guarded buildings and heavily fortified bunkers. It was inevitable… I should add that there is no truth to the rapidly spreading rumor that J. Schmitt and Associates, owners of the Farrer Building and its exclusive parking area alongside, had secured the parking lot concession at the AVA’s new location and were planning to charge a $5 per hour fee… Those familiar with the wheelings-and-dealings in and around the Farrer Building in recent times would perhaps not have been too surprised if the rumor had been accurate. And personally speaking the $5 fee did seem a very fair rate for the opportunity to catch a glimpse of, and perhaps even talk to, the AVA’s Supreme Leader, Lord Anderson, and his loyal accomplice-in-flame-fanning, Major Scaramella, as they toil away at the arduous and thankless task of producing America’s Last Newspaper…
… New Principals at both the A.V. Elementary and High Schools are expected to be confirmed very soon… My claws are crossed in the hope for insightful choices of individuals who, in the eyes of parents, students and faculty alike, will provide strong leadership; exhibit good people skills; show ability to balance ‘tough love’ and discipline with earned praise and encouragement; demonstrate fairness and consistency; are organized and prepared; have good listening skills; and are visionaries in the world of modern education. This decision is clearly going to have a great influence on the futures of the Valley’s schoolchildren. I am cautiously optimistic (how can one be anything more in this day and age of turmoil and disconnection) that those entrusted with the decision - Superintendent (and former High School Principal) Michelle Hutchins and The School Board - will ‘do the right thing’…
    Well now I think it’s time to take my leave… So, “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again - Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on humming, Hummingbird… Missing the Venerable Pheasant… On the sheep, Grace…   

# 519 - 13th July, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… First, let’s have a ‘Thought for the Day’ - Isn’t is odd that he word ‘lisp’ has an ’s’ in it? Just wondering…
    With so much strife and dissension in today’s world, let’s begin with news of an event which takes us back to a simpler and more caring and harmonious society in so many ways… The Anderson Valley Historical Society and Museum will present their annual event on Sunday, July 17 at the Little Red Schoolhouse just north of Boonville on Highway 128/Anderson Valley Way. The annual meeting to share what is going on with the Society and its future plans will take place at 1.30pm, and will also feature the High School Computer Class’ Valley Cemetery mapping project. This will be followed at 2.30pm by an Open House that includes a discussion on the ‘Boontling’ dialect led by Wes Smoot and Rod DeWitt, two of the few remaining speakers of the language; along with tours of the Museum; further insights to the Boontling tongue via its connection to the A.V. Brewery; videos of old-timers talking Boontling; and finger foods, snacks, wine, and of course local beers… Local history books and other merchandise will also be available and all proceeds will benefit the Historical Society and Museum…

    Apart from the Historical Society’s special event, I should also mention, as I invariably do, a number of other upcoming events and happenings… Calendars and pens at the ready… #542 - The annual Beebe/Johnson Memorial sheep dog trial takes place this coming Saturday, July 16th at the Johnson Ranch at the junction of Highways 128 and 253 in Boonville. The first sheep are let out at 9am… #543 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital will make two visits this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. They are trying to keep to a schedule of the first and third Thursdays and so the second of these will be on the third Thursday - July 21. (They will be here twice again next month - August 4 and 18)… #544 - The ‘Second Wednesday Drumming Circle’ is not taking place at this time. I will let you know when it resumes… #545 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues every Saturday in the parking lot of the Boonville Hotel, 9.30am-Noon. For more information, call Cindy at 895-2949… #546 - The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open on Tuesdays and Saturdays at The Fairgrounds - Tuesday 1.30pm-4.30pm and Saturday 2pm-4pm… #547 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Remember, no dead animals!… #548 - The Food Bank is open from 8-10am on the 3rd Tuesday of each month - which is next Tuesday, July 19. They will also be open the Monday evening before (July 18) from 4-6pm. Gardeners, farmers and produce growers of all kinds, remember to donate your extra produce and drop it off on the Monday behind the Boonville Methodist Church. If you need someone to glean your produce to take to the Food Bank, contact Valerie Kim at valerie.h.kim@gmail.com. Denisse Mattei is the Food Bank director. You can reach her at 895-3763… #549 - The Far From Easy Living Fair (referred to by some as the Not So Simple Living Fair) will take place this year at the Fairgrounds in Boonville over the weekend of July 29-31…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, July 14, the lunch, served as always by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Sausage Skillet with Mudslide for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, July 19, the lunch will feature Oven Fried Fish and Banana Split Cake for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week!… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Easy-stretch Yoga, as part of the Active Life Club that runs from 10am to 2pm and which also features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    The Three-Dot Lounge remains closed until next week, so until then there will be no “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley… However, from our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, who rarely takes a break from his self-titled ‘investigative journalism,’ comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports…
    Several Valley folks, who have frequented The Buckhorn for many years, have commented on the request in last week’s ‘Vally People’ made by the ‘Owners and Tenants of the Farrer Building.’ This group was “respectfully requesting” that the staff and patrons of The Buckhorn cease to use the large parking lot area between the two buildings - theirs and the Buckhorn. The have the legal right to do so and one hopes this request can be agreed to without much discord and antagonism…
    Those making the plea are the same people, sometimes known as  ‘Offstreet Studio Management,’ who a year ago posted signs around the lot asking that the space be used as parking for, I quote, “Farrar Property tenants, patrons, and residents only” (spelling error of ‘Farrer’ made by the owners of said building). At that time, many Buckhorn customers expressed dismay at the postings, knowing that the space has been used by customers of that establishment and its predecessors for almost thirty years…
    According to the ‘Owners (J. Schmitt and associates) and Tenants of the Farrer Building,’ who crucially, but unknown to many, are now the sole owners of the lot, there continues to be a number of incidents involving vehicles belonging to Buckhorn patrons, plus a daily clear-up of trash being required after “late-night activities” by those patrons…
    This is no doubt frustrating to the Farrer Building/Boonville Hotel/Shed folks. Mosswood Market will be particularly aggrieved at the temporary loss of business as a result of one incident. Beyond the drama of the exaggerated frequency of these incidents as highlighted in the request, I have no doubt that there have been some such occurrences. I would agree that the parking is a little tight, but in all those years, over twenty of which I am familiar with, virtually everyone using the space, from both buildings, has maneuvered carefully. A very small number have not… I therefore humbly suggest that a large, easily visible sign be placed at the entrance, one clearly requesting that the parking lot is for the use of Farrer Building tenants and patrons only. This may just work, the signs inside the lot did not…        
    Recently, the ‘Owners and Patrons of the Farrer Building’ have spoken to Buckhorn owner Tom Towey asking for his support (I assume they spoke to the right guy, although according to their request in the newspaper it was made to ‘Tom Towie’ - clearly spelling is not their strong point). They have every right to do this and Tom’s staff have been parking elsewhere for some time. Hopefully patrons of the pub/restaurant will also comply but, as the adage goes, ‘old habits die hard,’ particularly around here, and it remains to be seen how this develops…
    Meanwhile, when I go to the AVA office located in the Farrer Building and therefore legally park in the Farrer Building parking lot, do I then have to move and re-park my vehicle if I wish to have a beer in the Buckhorn after a hard day’s work? What a load of old bollocks that would be… Just wondering…

    Thank you, Buzzard… Now I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for this week, so until we talk again – be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace… Keep on humming, Hummingbird…
Missing you, Venerable Pheasant…
p.p.p.s. A good herding dog uses his ‘eye,’ stealth, intelligence, agility,  and calmness to herd sheep. They do not bark, and certainly do not wag their tails, even though they love what they are doing. Fred the Border collie (whom I mention regularly in the ‘p.s.’ end to this column) is the only one I have ever seen who continued to wag his tail even when successfully herding sheep. He passed away four years ago this week, aged 14. What a unique and wonderful dog he was…

# 518 - 6th July, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    I am about to set off on my way back to the Valley and ‘normal service’ will be resumed next week. However, before I leave Europe, here are a few thoughts on the concerns that folks over here have with regards to the possibility of Donald Trump becoming President in terms of his foreign policies…
    As reported in the Economist magazine, a survey of global attitudes towards America released on June 29th by the Pew Research Centre shows a derisory 9% of foreign respondents expressing confidence in the Trump’s ability to handle foreign affairs. Some 85% are actively sceptical.
    It should be pointed out that many American do not care what the rest of the world thinks of them and Trump is certainly one of those who couldn’t care much less. He is far from alone. One friend of mine in the Valley - a broad-minded, thoughtful, well-informed, and respectable man in his seventies, when informed on the increasing antipathy toward the U.S. among Europeans simply said, “Who gives a shit?” And he is not a Trump voter…
    But global attitudes are not irrelevant and Trump must surely realize this at some point. Even the “most brilliant deal-maker” in the world needs someone on the other side of the table with whom to shake hands and agree. Though Trumpian threats and swagger sometimes work, America may need foreigners to offer their consent willingly, not least when those same foreigners are being asked to endure some political or financial pain, or risk a backlash from their own publics.
    The Brits and Europeans began to adopt a significant degree of anti-U.S. feeling during the presidency of George Bush Jr. Many items on the following charge-list against Mr Bush were either unfair or exaggerated, but he was called ‘a hypocritical, proudly ignorant, America-first, unilateralist bully pursuing a sectarian crusade against the Muslim world. His claims to be invading the Middle East to help liberate the Iraqi people and promote democracy were scorned, as European politicians and placard-wielding protestors alike asserted that he was bent on selfishly grabbing Arab oil. His willingness to use torture on terrorist suspects was not seen as a reluctant act of self-defence. Instead many in Europe, certainly, saw the revelations about enhanced interrogations and secret prisons as proof that America is a violent renegade power. When Mr Bush expressed sorrow about the collateral killing of innocent civilians during the war on terror, he was called a lying war criminal.’
    Quite a list, and yet here in 2016, just eight years after the Bush-era, those charges are now Mr Trump’s boasts. It is quite an amazing turnaround in a very short time. He tells supporters that he is an America-first unilateralist willing to ban Muslims from entry into the country because there is so much “incredible hate” in the Muslim world, and so many Muslims are “bad people.” His lack of diplomacy, and any air of presidential prowess whatsoever (Intellect? Decorum? Humility? Wit? Integrity? Reasoning? Insight?), are things that will surely be a constant source of embarrassment should he win in November.
    Trump derides the idea of nation-building overseas and explicitly says that America should “bomb the shit” out of enemies in the Middle East and grab their oil, spending the proceeds on American military veterans and their families. He brags that he would reintroduce waterboarding and worse, sometimes tells rallies that even if torture does not work it is in any case what terrorists deserve. As for collateral casualties, he is proud to say that he would target the families of terrorists—a war crime. In short, the caricature of America that so much of the world distanced itself from in the years 2001 to 2008 is the basic pitch of Mr Trump’s run for the presidency in 2016. With a potentially very divisive U.S. election campaign over the next few months, a befuddled Europe dealing with barely controlled migration and the continuing threat of terrorism, and Britain in utter confusion following the exit from the European Union, it would seem to be the ideal time to retreat to the bucolic bubble of Anderson Valley. I’m on my way…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #544 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have two visits this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. These will be on the first and third Thursdays - that’s tomorrow, July 7 and then again on July 21.     They are there from 2-3.30pm and to avoid a line perhaps turn up at around 3pm - you will definitely be seen. New customers and their pets are always welcome and previous visitors should be aware that they can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them - making this an even better service than it already is!… #545 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley next Tuesday, July 12. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #546 - The A.V Museum is open every Saturday and Sunday, from 1pm-4pm. Situated in The Little Red Schoolhouse next to the Elementary School on A.V. Way, this is a perfect thing to do in the Valley when you have a couple of hours spare on a weekend afternoon. It is not without reason that it is generally regarded as ‘The Best Little Museum in the West’…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, July 7, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Kung Pow Chicken and Birthday Cupcakes… Then, next Tuesday, July 12, the evening meal served at 6pm, will feature Honey-Mustard Chicken and Cherry Crisp with ice cream for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week! As this is the 2nd Tuesday of the month, the dinner will be followed by Bingo at 7pm… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Easy-stretch Yoga, as part of the Active Life Club that runs from 10am to 2pm and which also features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    In my absence, The Three-Dot Lounge will be closed, so until my return there will be no “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley… We shall re-open next week…
    I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep…Until we talk again – be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts, and please remember to keep your windows cracked if you leave them in your vehicle for any amount of time; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; and may your god go with you… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture.
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. On the sheep, Grace… Keep on humming, Hummingbird…
Missing the Venerable Pheasant…