# 543 - 28th December, 2016

Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… How was your Christmas? Did the new sweater fit? Did it still fit after dinner? Did you keep the receipt for your nephew’s broken toy? Why was Uncle Stan so drunk and was that the reason Grandpa was rude to him? Why did Cousin Betty go for a nap and not return? Who was that long-haired slacker that teenage niece Tiffany was talking to on the doorstep? Why was Aunt Jenny crying? Did you ever find the new puppy that went missing?... And to make matters even more worrisome and confusing, next up it’s the Amateur Night Out of the Year – New Year’s Eve! Try to enjoy yourselves and if someone is behaving badly then I suggest you just smile and walk away – you know it makes sense.
   
     Onward… Public Service Announcements… Calendars and pens at the ready… #542 - Hope to see you at the New Year’s Eve Party at Lauren’s in Boonville dancing to the excellent live music from the very popular local band BoonFire! Music starts at 9pm and the bar is open until midnight - you cant get much better than that… #543: Useful numbers at this time of year - for road conditions and closures call 1-800-gas-road (427-7623) and for power problems and outages call 1-800-PGE (743)-5000. I just thought you should know… #544 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have no more visits this month but they will be at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, once in January (12th) and then twice in February (2nd and 23rd)… #545 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues with it’s Winter location and hours at The Boonville General Store, on Saturdays from 11am-1pm. For more info, call Cindy at 895-2949… #546 - Need a burn permit? From 11am to 3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by and you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this… #547 - The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open Tuesdays from 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm at The Fairgrounds in Boonville… #548 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Dump Executive Director, Mike Mannix, rewards good customers with a star but will be very harsh with anyone thinking they can leave dead animals!…
    I want to pass on an important P.S.A. in the form of a heads-up on the annual Valley Crab Feeds that are scheduled for a couple of Saturdays in the first few weeks of the New Year… The first one is the annual benefit for the Senior Center and will be held on Saturday, January 21, tickets are $35 pre-sale, $40 on the door, and are sold at the Senior Center, A.V. Market, Rossi Hardware, and Lemons’ in Philo. Happy Hour is at 5.30pm, dinner served at 6.30pm… This will be followed two weeks later by the Original Crab Feed on Saturday, February 4, for which the tickets are $45, the same as last year, and that does include complimentary wine. Tickets available through Gloria Ross at 895-3071, John Schultz at 895-9552, or Lemons’ Market in Philo… Both Crab Feeds are very popular Valley-centric occasions - they WILL sell out; you have been warned…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week or so in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… The Center remains closed for the holidays until next Tuesday, January 3. Then, the lunch will feature Meat Loaf, Mashed potatoes and Gravy, with Holy Cow Cake for dessert… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week!… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class. Also on Thursdays, the Active Life Club runs from 10am to 2pm and features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month - next week, January 4. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    The Three-Dot Lounge was closed over the holiday but that allowed me some time to come up with some of my personal hopes and wishes for 2017… In no particular order…
- Chocolate Chip and Vanilla Ice Cream will be in plentiful supply at every grocery store in The Valley...
- All drivers shall follow the rules of the road. That most definitely includes California Vehicle Code # 21656 – ‘Slower vehicles must pull over to allow others to pass’. No driving over 60mph anywhere; no driving under 40mph in the 55mph limit without pulling over in the Valley’s many turnouts to let others pass. Of course driving at 30mph or less in town is to be strictly enforced, with very grave consequences for those who do not follow these guidelines. Do I hear ‘feed ‘em to the pigs’ from anyone?...
- All drivers parking at 90 degrees to the sidewalk outside businesses and stores will have their vehicles egged. Eggs will be paid for (upon proof of receipt and photograph of the eggs on the windscreen) by Captain Rainbow, formerly Corporal Raindrop, as this is his pet peeve and he wants to see the practice brought to an end as much as any of us...
- Residents will be asked to 'verbally confront' the ‘biker hordes’ when those weekend visitors (mostly accountants, bankers, and lawyers posing in their rarely worn, stiff and shiny leathers, pretending to be ‘rebels’) arrive this summer and annoyingly begin revving up their very noisy Harleys. From now on hopefully they will be pointed at and told, "Don’t be late at the office on Monday morning"... What are they going to do? Throw their man-purses at us?...
- When some people are asked a question about something they know nothing or very little about, they should be encouraged to say, “I don’t know”. That is o.k. and is a very acceptable response is such instances. It will also save everyone lots of time...
- All citizens must get tags for their pets. It’s easy and cheap at www.tagxpress.com and all those hard working volunteers at the Animal Rescue, plus the many other animal lovers in The Valley, will certainly appreciate it… Anyone not abiding by this rule to be fined $1 and the monies collected to be donated to the animal charities of my choice…
- All attendees at Pot Lucks in The Valley must bring a dish or some form of alcohol large enough to feed or quench the thirst of at least eight guests. A stick of celery/ days-old bread/two beers will no longer suffice…
- No more vineyards are allowed if they are to be owned by a wine-guzzling know-all who assumes they can make wine just because they have made their millions elsewhere in an entirely different area of expertise. This is to be rigidly enforced if such a person is living in some far flung location, has never lived here, and who wouldn’t know a wild hog if it bit him in the ass or a Turkey Vulture if it defecated on his head…
- Anyone, anywhere in public, starting a sentence with “You should” will be fined $1 on the spot. All monies going towards the Christmas Tree Fund…
- Phone service employees will be issued written warnings as to their future conduct if they are observed standing around for more than an hour at the side of the road pointing up in the air. Perhaps this will save time and then we would not be told that in order to have our phone repaired we have to stay at home and to expect the technician to arrive “sometime between 8am and 7pm”!...
- Most Caltran workers work hard and do a fine job. But some seem to stand around doing nothing except scowl menacingly at drivers as they pass. They should stop. It’s not clever, funny, or even that menacing, but it does seem to keep them from their work for long periods of time...
- When the power goes out, PG&E will not be able to tell us that they are “out of power” themselves. If that’s all they can say, then lie to us - anything will do rather than such an unsettling announcement that was heard over the radio waves around this time last year…
- When somebody calls to remind you of your appointment for something or other at their place of work, they should do so clearly and concisely, not by mumbling or by speaking so quickly that the message is undecipherable. Doesn’t this seem to really defeat their purpose?...
- All herky-jerky, whirling, twirling, hippy-dancing - whenever and wherever it breaks out in public - will be halted by concerned residents. Obviously this applies neither to the female movers who have rhythm nor the exotically-skilled belly dancers one occasionally sees, but it certainly does to the other 90% who make up this odd group…
- And finally, and perhaps most important of all - the limited choice in toilet tissue sold at the local stores will be enlarged in 2017 so as to include the really strong stuff that myself and The Four-eyed Woodpecker, to name just two, require to complete our daily ablutions satisfactorily and thus avoid the ‘internal self-examination’ we currently seem to have to go through every morning…
        Oh, dear, have I upset somebody? – I’ll get my coat and leave... Besides, that’s enough for now, so until we talk again – Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Skylark – read any good books lately?… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Everything cool with you, O.J.? Of course it is…

# 542 - 21st December, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    Merry/Happy Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzai/Holidays or whatever to all of my many hundreds of thousands of readers and supporters - I hope you are coping with all of the razzamatazz, hype, and pressure that this event smothers so many of us with. Every year it seems to get more frantic. However, up here at The Nest we plan to have a relatively calm and very relaxing few days. In fact, as I have mentioned a number of times previously, to be perfectly honest, ultimately this whole celebration is really only for a couple of groups of people. The first of these groups I became aware of during a five-year stint in San Francisco as the sole straight fellow on a construction crew of five, the rest of whom became good friends before all dying with AIDS over a five year period. As a result I feel that I can state with a degree of authority that Christmas is primarily for the enjoyment of gay men - they certainly have the best Xmas parties. The other group is children, for all the obvious reasons, which I fully understand while not being a part of. Not that there is anything wrong with any of this of course -  I just don’t belong to either group anymore!?!…. Meanwhile, if you’re out Xmas shopping try to remember that I’m an XXL; otherwise fresh carrion is always good…

    Holiday Restaurant Report, traveling northwest through the Valley along Highway 128… Lauren’s Restaurant is open for their regular lunch and dinner hours except on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Year’s Day. They are open on New Year’s Eve for one hell of a party! (see below in P.S.A.’s)… The Buckhorn is closed - no dry Martinis, draft Guinness, Manhattans, or Jameson’s available to anyone out and about on the town over the holidays - a very disappointing situation to many, I know… The Boonville Hotel is now closed on Mondays but remains open Thursday thru’ Sunday apart from, I assume, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Year’s Eve and Day. Call 895-2210 for details… Aquarelle Café and Wine Bar is closed until February… The Redwood Drive-In is also closed on Christmas Day but is open pretty much the rest of the time. FYI, I just enjoyed a very good breakfast burrito from there that proved to be a very effective hangover cure, I must say… After a break for Christmas, Stone and Embers will resume their usual hours of Friday thru’ Tuesday, serving from noon till 6pm over the New Year’s weekend, and on New Year's Day they will be having their first Ramen Pop-up dinner… Libby’s is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late restaurant. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-place to enjoy wonderful food. Yes, Libby’s is permanently closed… The Bewildered Pig is open through much of the holidays but their hours are still to be confirmed, based on whether they sell out seating on certain nights! I suggest you call 895-2088 if you are interested in going! They will then be closed from January 1 to 17 inclusive!…   
    Talking of eating, drinking, and being merry (or hoping to find places to do so), I want to pass on an important P.S.A. in the form of a heads-up on the annual Valley Crab Feeds that are scheduled for a couple of Saturdays in the first few weeks of the New Year. I’m giving you plenty of notice because some of you may wish to give Xmas gifts to loved ones in the form of tickets… The first one is the annual benefit for the Senior Center and will be held on Saturday, January 21, tickets are $35 pre-sale, $40 on the door, and are sold at the Senior Center, A.V. Market, Rossi Hardware, and Lemons’ in Philo. Happy Hour is at 5.30pm, dinner served at 6.30pm… This will be followed two weeks later by the Original Crab Feed on Saturday, February 4, for which the tickets are $45, the same as last year, and that does include complimentary wine. Tickets available through Gloria Ross at 895-3071, John Schultz at 895-9552, or Lemons’ Market in Philo… Both Crab Feeds are very popular Valley-centric occasions - they WILL sell out; you have been warned…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… - #544 - The Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital have no more visits this month but they will be at the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo, once in January (12th) and then twice in February (2nd and 23rd)… #545 - This Friday, December 23, before you retreat for a weekend of Christmas festivities at home or wherever, there will be a Pre-Christmas Party at Lauren’s Restaurant! There will be dinner service as usual from 5-9pm and then dancing and celebrating the time of year to the sounds of local deejae, JT, from 9pm until late. The bar will be open until midnight… #546 - I believe that the Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley next Tuesday, December 27. Phone 463-4694 for confirmation. They are usually here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm.…#547 - Need a burn permit? From 11am to 3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by and you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this… #548 - The A.V Museum is now closed for the winter… #549 - No more Barn Sales until the spring… #550 - The Senior Center is closed from Friday, December 16, 2016 through Monday, January 2, 2017. They will re-open for lunch on Tuesday, January 3, 2017.

    The Three-Dot Lounge, home of “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors”, and my favorite gathering place in the Valley, is closed this week, and maybe next… This somewhat secret location, that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants,” is hosting some very private events that I couldn’t possibly comment on… The Old Buzzard, who never misses a chance to add to his insightful series – ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse,’ actually has nothing to add this week other than “I have nothing of any interest to anyone to say at this point”… Why can’t more folks be like that?...

        I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - and thinking you should now that we Turkey Vultures are monogamous and mate for life and sometimes, to prove our loyalty, we like to indulge in an ‘erotic’ display dance on our nesting grounds…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on humming, Hummingbird… Missing the Venerable Pheasant… On the sheep, Grace…


   

# 541 - 14th December, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    I watched the classic movie ‘Its a Wonderful Life’ for the umpteenth time last weekend. This Christmas fantasy drama film, produced and directed by Frank Capra, is now among the most popular in American cinema and has become traditional viewing during the Christmas season. The film stars James Stewart as George Bailey, a man who has given up his dreams in order to help others, and whose imminent suicide on Christmas Eve brings about the intervention of his guardian angel, Clarence Odbody, who shows George all the lives he has touched and how different life in his community of Bedford Falls would be had he never been born.It’s storyline is as relevant today as it was when the movie came out in 1946, and the acting by the whole cast is tremendous with lots of sophisticated and poignant dialogue. No matter how often you see this perennial Christmas favorite, you will be entranced. In my opinion it is flawless and was a favorite of both leading man Jimmy Stewart and director Frank Capra - it’s easy to see why. Stewart gives the performance of a lifetime. Alternately affable and bitter, he is the movie's little-man hero. And if the movie is about broken dreams, it's conclusion is that these broken dreams can turn out to be a blessing… I suggest you do yourself and your loved ones a favor over the holidays and warm your hearts and a shed a tear or two of happiness and gratitude as you watch one of the best films ever made…

    Valley Restaurant Update… As I write this, and following the final closure of Libby’s in Philo and the temporary closing (until early February) of Aquarelle in Boonville, and of course the continuing absence of The Buckhorn, it would appear that evening dining options in the Valley are down to Lauren’s Restaurant, The Boonville Hotel, and The Redwood Drive-In in Boonville, and The Bewildered Pig in the Deep End (until they close from January 1-17 inclusive)… Stone and Embers is not open in the evening as they continue to be serve from 12-6 Friday-Tuesday, but they will then close for the Christmas week of December 23-27… A Turkey Vulture with a penchant for evening meals could go hungry around here…
    Talking of eating, drinking, and being merry (or hoping to find places to do so), I want to pass on an important P.S.A. in the form of a heads-up on the annual Valley Crab Feeds that are scheduled for a couple of Saturdays in the first few weeks of the New Year. I’m giving you plenty of notice because some of you may wish to give Xmas gifts to loved ones in the form of tickets… The first one is the annual benefit for the Senior Center and will be held on Saturday, January 21, tickets are $35 pre-sale, $40 on the door, and are sold at the Senior Center, A.V. Market, Rossi Hardware, and Lemons in Philo. Happy Hour is at 5.30pm, dinner served at 6.30pm… This will be followed two weeks later by the Original Crab Feed on Saturday, February 4, for which the tickets are $45, the same as last year, and that does include complimentary wine. Tickets available through Gloria Ross at 895-3071… Both Crab Feeds are very popular Valley-centric occasions - they WILL sell out; you have been warned…
       
    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #542 - This Saturday, December 17, sees folks invited to partake in the community singing of carols at Lauren’s Restaurant from 8.30pm… #543 - Tomorrow, Thursday, December 15 will see the Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital make their final visit of the year to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. To avoid a line perhaps turn up at around 3pm - you will definitely be seen. New customers and their pets are always welcome and previous visitors should be aware that they can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them - making this an even better service than it already is!… #544 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues with it’s Winter location and hours at The Boonville General Store, on Saturdays from 11am-1pm. For more info, call Cindy at 895-2949… #545 - Need a burn permit? From 11am to 3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by and you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this… #546 - The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open Tuesdays from 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm at The Fairgrounds in Boonville… #548 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Dump Executive Director, Mike Mannix, rewards good customers with a star but will be very harsh with anyone thinking they can leave dead animals!…

    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the final Community lunch of the year in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, December 15, this lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will feature Macaroni & Cheese, with Rum Cake for dessert, and includes vegetables, salad bar and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea or lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week! The Senior Center will then be closed over the holidays before re-opening for lunch on Tuesday, January 3rd, 2017. Normally, Tai Chi is available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class. Also on Thursdays, the Active Life Club runs from 10am to 2pm and features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…
   
    The Three-Dot Lounge – the home of “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” is closed this week due to pre-Christmas stress syndrome (PCSS) running rampant among many of the regular customers… However, no such worries for our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, who quite frankly doesn’t give a s**t about much of what happens at this time of year, and so here comes another in his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “A couple of things that were brought to my attention in the past few days lead me once more to realize that the Apocalypse is knocking on our door… Firstly, the news that the United Nations has launched a record appeal for humanitarian aid, seeking $22.2bn for 2017. It says the money is needed to help 93 million people affected by war and natural disasters in 33 countries. Well over half of these are as a result of war. What are we doing???… And secondly, among the more astonishing elements of the American election was that it is obvious foreign hackers played a role in it. Now it is clear that the CIA briefed congressional bigwigs both before and after it, suggesting the Russians’ motive was not just mischief-making, but actively seeking Hillary Clinton’s defeat. President-elect Donald Trump dismissed the claims with characteristic nonchalance, but not all Republican congressmen agree: the Homeland Security Committee chairman has promised urgent hearings. Many senior figures distrust Vladimir Putin, but know that grassroots conservatives favor a Russian-style approach to government and foreign policy, particularly fighting Islamist terrorism, including backing secular autocrats and attacking targets with ruthless indifference to collateral damage. And now we hear that Mr Trump will reportedly name as secretary of state Rex Tillerson, the boss of oil giant Exxon Mobil—as close to Mr Putin as any American businessman. Oh, well - I guess at least another General will not be added to the new cabinet - there are three already… The times, they are a-changing, and a new world may soon be upon us…”

    I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on wagging that tail, Fred… Hi, Silver Swan – behaving yourself? Hopefully not!… Keep up the good work, Round-eyed Robin…

   

# 540 - 7th December, 2016

Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin… Let’s go straight to one of my favorite topics - eating out in the Valley - and catch up with this week’s Valley Restaurant Update…
    There are just a few days to go before Libby’s Restaurant in Philo closes for the final time on Saturday, December 10… Talking of restaurant closures, The Bewildered Pig (!) at the Floodgate will be closed from January 2 - 17 inclusive… And in Boonville, Aquarelle Cafe and Wine bar will be taking a break from approximately December 12 to February 10… On the brighter side, there is a fairly reliable rumor that a new Mexican restaurant, based to some degree on Libby’s menu, will be going in at The Lodge building in downtown Boonville, a venue that has been closed for some time…. And now that Libby’s is closing, those who remember the breakfast and diner-style restaurant in Philo before Libby’s - called Janie’s Place - will be interested to hear that there may possibly be a similar place in the works at the same location… I made a slight omission last week and should add that Lauren’s Restaurant is closed New Year’s Day but open for their regular hours over the holidays other than Christmas Eve and Christmas Day… And finally this week, a large wise bird told me that discussions continue between interested parties and The Buckhorn. It will be too late for that much enjoyed Christmas drink with family and friends but nevertheless at least there is some movement on the issue of getting a pub/bar/restaurant up and running in the Valley once again - something the community would heartily embrace…
    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #544 - Next week, Thursday, December 15 will see the Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital make their final visit of the year to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. To avoid a line perhaps turn up at around 3pm - you will definitely be seen. New customers and their pets are always welcome and previous visitors should be aware that they can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them - making this an even better service than it already is!… #545 - The Mendocino Bookmobile returns to the Valley next Tuesday, December 13. They are here on alternate Tuesdays for 45 minutes at each of these places and times: Navarro Store 9am (for just 30 minutes before heading out to Comptche); the Floodgate 12.30pm; Philo 1.30pm; Boonville (Apple Hall) 2.30pm. Phone 463-4694 for further details… #546 - The A.V Museum is now closed for the winter… #547 - Need a burn permit? From 11am to 3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by and you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this… #548 - The next Barn Sale, will not be until the spring…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches and dinners over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville… The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors for both lunches and dinners and charges $7 for Non-seniors for lunches and $8 for the dinners… Tomorrow, Thursday, December 8, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Citrus Cod with Triple Lemon Dessert… Then, next Tuesday, December 13, the evening meal served at 6pm, will feature Turkey & Mashed Potatoes, with Gooey Pumpkin Butter Cake for dessert and then following dinner there will be community singing of Christmas carols… All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week!… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class. Also on Thursdays, the Active Life Club runs from 10am to 2pm and features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Moving quickly on to a few of the topics and Valley events under discussion this week at The Three-Dot Lounge – yes it’s “Moans, Groans, Good Thoughts, and Rampant (yet surprisingly reliable) Rumors” from my favorite gathering place in the Valley, a somewhat secret location that sees people get together and share their thoughts about life in Anderson Valley and often far beyond, and where we subscribe to the Winston Churchill philosophy that “A lie will get halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to put on its pants”… So, with that in mind, I shall quickly put my pants on and continue…
… The annual Holiday Party and Awards Dunner for the A.V. Volunteer Fire Fighters was held at Rivers Bend Retreat last Saturday evening and with Chefs Francis and Marie Richard of Coq au Vin fame at the helm in the kitchen a delicious meal was enjoyed as the fully deserved awards were given out… The event was very ably hosted by Chief Andres Avila and, while many folks were mentioned for their tremendous efforts this past year, I should inform you that the most prestigious awards went to Firefighter of the Year - Moi Perez; Officer of the Year - Angela DeWitt; Engineer of the Year - Paul Lasicki; Recruit of the Year - Jimmy Johnson, and E.M.T. of the Year - former Fire Chief Colin Wilson… Well done indeed, one and all - and thank you for your service…
… The seemingly unending generosity of many Valley folks was discussed at the 3-Dot this past week…  Highlighted was the hugely significant and much-needed donation given to the A.V. Historical Society by a local benefactor who has consistently bestowed gifts and money to lots of different Valley organizations and events over many, many years… And while we are on this subject, I should also mention that the recent A.V. Arts fundraiser held at Lauren’s Restaurant raised $10K that will be donated to supplemental arts programs and scholarships for Anderson Valley students interested in that field of endeavor…
… Somebody else ‘doing the right thing’ for Valley folks is Mitzi Wagner who works out of the A.V. Health Center advising folks on the health insurance available to them. Mitzi’s knowledge of the labyrinth of health care options, and the bureaucracy that is involved, has already benefited many local people and she can be reached at the Center at 895-3477…
… Sadly, health care is one of the among the many services that are under tremendous threat to the citizens of Aleppo in Syria. As government forces, backed by Russian bombing, made large gains in rebel-held eastern Aleppo, thousands of people are fleeing the besieged enclave. The total number of displaced people is now more than 400,000, said the UN special envoy, Staffan de Mistura. Food stocks have run out and surgery is being performed without anesthetic… Surely something should be done before we all acknowledge just how tragic this was after the event when it is too late…
… Most regulars at the 3-Dot enthusiastically agree with the option of opening their minds and considering what Carl Sagan, creator and presenter of the wonderful series ‘Cosmos’ once said - “Used properly, television can educate and inspire awe as well as any book, painting, or film”… I cannot agree more…
… From our 3-Dot regular, The Old Buzzard, comes another in his insightful series – ‘The Approach of the Apocalypse’… Buzzard reports, “I have nothing of any interest to anyone to say at this point”… Why can’t more folks be like that?...

        I’m outta here - I’ve got see a man about a sheep… Besides, that’s enough for now, so “please take me drunk, I’m home,” and until we talk again – be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture…
p.s. Just time to re-remind those who think badly of us that a fellow by the name of Charles Darwin said about Turkey Vultures, “A disgusting bird whose bald scarlet head is formed to wallow in putridity” – Thanks for the compliment, Charlie – you’ll go far…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Keep on humming, Hummingbird… Missing the Venerable Pheasant… On the sheep, Grace…

# 539 - 30th November, 2016

    Greetings one and all. Are you are sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin…
    Quotes of the Week… Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, a wise man among many fools I would suggest, responded to the election of the bellicose Donald Trump with the comment, ”Rise to the dignity of the office instead of hiding behind your Twitter account”… One has to think that some of this country’s past great leaders are turning in their graves at the prospect of Trump leading the way via his social media comments… Reid then addressed the Democrats in the Senate… “We have a responsibility to be the voice of the millions of Americans sitting at home, afraid that they are unwelcome in Donald Trump's America. We have a responsibility to prevent Trump's bullying, aggressive behavior from becoming normalized in the eyes of Americans...We have a responsibility to say that it is not normal for the KKK to celebrate the election of a President they view as their champion with a victory parade”… Troubled times ahead, I fear…
    On a very different but perhaps equally disturbing topic, “The Ivory Game”, a new Netflix film about poaching in Africa, is executive-produced by Leonardo DiCaprio and backed by Paul Allen, co-founder of Microsoft. The plight of the world’s largest land mammal is desperate: 150,000 have been killed in the past five years. In June, Sergey Yastrzhembsky, a former Russian politician, released “Ivory. A Crime Story”, slamming China (the biggest market for ivory). Other campaigning films include 2014’s Kathryn Bigelow’s “Last Days”, a short animation exploring the link between the ivory trade and terrorism, and “The End of the Wild”, which followed Yao Ming, a Chinese basketball star, to Kenya and South Africa, and which was screened in Beijing. The new film shows another side of Chinese involvement—investigators and whistleblowers on the frontline. But Netflix is not available in China, so it will only reach few ears and eyes there. Meanwhile, Africa’s elephants keep dying as humankind continues to shown its many shortcomings and to threaten the well-being of the earth and its other inhabitants…

    Moving on… Restaurant Report: Holiday updates… Aquarelle Cafe and Wine Bar is open for another couple of weeks (December 12) before taking a well-earned break until around February 10… The Buckhorn remains closed and it is looking unlikely that anyone will on the town in Boonville enjoying a martini/scotch/gin and tonic with family/friends this Christmas - and that is terrible shame in my book… However, except for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Lauren’s Restaurant is open for the whole holiday period and way beyond - is it any wonder that they have had the support of the community for over twenty years?… Sadly, Libby’s in Philo will open for the final time on Saturday, December 10… That’s all for now, folks…
    Talking of eating, drinking, and being merry, I want to pass on an important P.S.A. in the form of a heads-up on the Valley Crab Feeds that are scheduled for a couple of Saturdays in the first few weeks of the New Year at The Apple Hall in Boonville. I’m giving you plenty of notice because some of you may wish to give Xmas gifts to loved ones in the form of tickets… The first one is the annual benefit for the Senior Center and will be held on Saturday, January 21, tickets are $35 pre-sale; $40 on the door… This will be followed two weeks later by the Original Crab Feed on Saturday, February 4, for which the tickets are $45, the same as last year, but that does include complimentary wine… Tickets for will be on sale at various places throughout the Valley in the upcoming weeks and both are very popular Valley-centric occasions - they WILL sell out; you have been warned…

    Public Service Announcements (P.S.A.’s)… Calendars and pens at the ready… #543 - It’s time to give a plug to the ‘First Friday Film and Social Nite’ that takes place at The Grange on Highway 128 on, believe it or not, the first Friday of the month. That means this Friday, December 2 when the film is a personal favorite - ‘Midnight Run’, a classic comic-action story with a twisted plot featuring Robert Di Niro as one of his infamous quirky characters, Jack Walsh, a bereft divorcee bail bounty hunter and Charles Grodin, as Jonathan Mardukas, a runaway new age accountant.. The movie starts at 7pm, with a social potluck at 6pm… #544 - Tomorrow, December 1, will see the Vets from the Mendocino Animal Hospital making the first of their two visits this month to the Anderson Valley Farm Supply on Highway 128, north of Philo. They will be back for their final visit of the year on Thursday, December 15. To avoid a line perhaps turn up at around 3pm - you will definitely be seen. New customers and their pets are always welcome and previous visitors should be aware that they can call 462-8833 and the vets will bring your pet’s charts with them - making this an even better service than it already is!… #545 - Need a burn permit? From 11am to 3pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays you can get one from the Firehouse in Boonville. Call 895-2020 for more information or stop by and you will be efficiently served with a smile - trust me on this… #546 - The next Barn Sale, and the last one until the spring, will take place over this upcoming weekend, December 3/4 from 9am-3pm at The Big Barn on A.V. Way just north of Boonville… #547 - The Boonville Farmers’ Market continues with it’s Winter location and hours at The Boonville General Store, on Saturdays from 11am-1pm. For more info, call Cindy at 895-2949… #548 - The A.V. Lending Library run by The Unity Club is open Tuesday and Saturday at The Fairgrounds - Tuesdays from 1.30-4.30pm and Saturdays 2-4pm… #549 - The County Dump is open from 9am-4pm Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday. Dump Executive Director, Mike Mannix, rewards good customers with a star but will be very harsh with anyone thinking they can leave dead animals!…
    As a bonus P.S.A. here is the menu for the Community lunches over the next week in the Senior Center at the Veterans’ Building in Boonville. The Center asks for a $6 donation from seniors and charges $7 for Non-seniors… Tomorrow, Thursday, December 1, the lunch, served by Marti Titus and her crew at Noon, will be Meat Loaf, Mashed potatoes and gravy, with Birthday Cupcakes for dessert… Then, next Tuesday, December 6, the lunch will feature Chicken Bleu Casserole with Pecan Pie bars for dessert. All meals include vegetables, salad bar, and fruit, plus milk, coffee, tea, and lemonade. What a deal - it maybe the best value for money you’ll get all week! As this is the 2nd Tuesday of the month, the dinner will be followed by Bingo/Bunco at 7pm… Tai Chi is now available every Tuesday at 11am, while on Thursdays at 11am it is Kathy’s Easy-stretch Yoga class. Also on Thursdays, the Active Life Club runs from 10am to 2pm and features games, crafts, and music. The Senior Center/Community Bus goes to Ukiah on Monday's and also Santa Rosa on the first Wednesday of the month. These trips fill up fast so don't forget to sign up early at 489-1175… Hopefully you will be able to attend some of these events and certainly the lunches and dinners, and remember – ALL ages are welcome! Hope to see you there…

    Nothing to report from The Three-Dot Lounge this week as a general post-election malaise has set in among the usually erudite and opinionated customers… However, you can always rely on The Old Buzzard to have a few words and so here is another addition to his insightful series – ‘Signs that the Apocalypse is Approaching’… Buzzard reports, “I saw a very clear sign that the Apocalypse is approaching when I read the news item in a recent Turkey Vulture column regarding the local high school boys’ soccer team and their defeat in the play-offs following the short-sighted behavior and ensuing suspension of nine players… This incident is symptomatic of a large proportion of today’s youth failing to have any insight, or perhaps even concern, for the consequences of their actions, and rarely being held accountable for those actions. I hear people wax lyrically about the younger generation, pointing out that the previous generations’ time of influence in the world has gone, and that this is now the younger generation’s time… I would love to think they will do a good job, and I’m sure there are many positive-thinking folks who would be convinced of that. However, I am trying to be real here and cannot help but have a horrible feeling that they might possibly f*** it all up”…

        Oh, dear, have I upset somebody? – I’ll get my coat and leave shall I?... Besides, that’s enough for now and I’ve got see a man about a sheep… So, until we talk again – Be careful out there; if you break a leg don’t come running to me; stay out of the ditches; be wary of strangers with more dogs than teeth; show love to your pets, they will be faithful and true to you to the last beat of their hearts; think good thoughts; ‘Keep the Faith’; try to not let life get in the way of living; may your god go with you, and may your dog go with you too… Oh, and of course, one final request, “Let us prey”… Sometimes poking, often stroking, but almost always humbly yours, Turkey Vulture - saddened but ultimately comforted in the knowledge that the old hare has safely moved to his new burrow in the sky…
p.s. You can contact me with words of support/abuse either through the Letters Page or by e-mail at
p.p.s. Hi, George – hope you and Sheila are well…Is that ‘lafter’ I hear, Carroll?… Bobwhite Quail - keep up the knitting!…